Friday, September 10, 2010

The Baggage Game - Friday, September 10, 2010

Welcome to The Baggage Game again, punks! As usual, you can find the video embedded at the bottom of this entry, and the excess baggage is here.

Today's contestant is Justin. He looks like a dude-guy-bro, and he's even wearing a purple dress shirt, a skinny tie and jeans. He also does 10 push-ups on stage to prove his physical fitness. I instantly hate him, although he seems like a decent enough guy.

His first dater is Megan, a hair stylist from Petaluma, California, who looks like a tall Katy Perry. Next up is Melissa, a sweet, "down to Earth" teacher from Old Lyme, Connecticut. She also looks tall, and she brags about going to bootcamp several times a week. Finally, there is Michelle, a nanny from Silver Springs, Maryland. She seems like a sweet version of Sarah Silverman. On to the game!

First Round

Megan: I pleasure myself while driving.
Melissa: I have vertigo. (Jerry says, "She'll fall for anyone.")
Michelle: I refuse to ride in elevators alone.

Wow to Megan. How is that even an issue??? My goodness. Jerry asks what road she takes while driving to work. She seems to be a bit of an exhibitionist, because she says it gives the truck drivers something to look forward to. Meanwhile, Melissa and Michelle have legitimate issues, although Michelle's voice, wow. It's like nails on chalkboard. She also has attitude about the fact that anyone would find it weird that she HAS to be in an elevator with another person. She said she got stuck in one alone when she was a kid, and thus, she's afraid of them now.

Second Round

Megan: I insist on a two-carat or larger wedding ring.
Michelle: I read my ex's journal while he was sleeping next to me.
Melissa: My last five boyfriends got married directly after dating me.

What kind of loser guy keeps a journal? ... oh wait. I think there is a natural curiosity factor with people that is reasonable to me, and the journal would fall under that. Likewise, the boyfriend thing just seems like a coincidence as opposed to any sort of character flaw. Therefore, the gold digger (or diamond digger) would definitely be the girl I eliminate.

But because Justin is weird, he eliminates the last-five-boyfriends girl. Huh? What an obscure fact to eliminate someone on. Melissa says that she thought she prepared them to be amazing. This is bad news for me, because Michelle is annoying, and Megan seems like a nut. Michelle gets even weirder as she talks - She seems like a 12-year-old girl with her whine. Her and Megan get into a catfight, practically, except with words. (Drat.)

On to the hot spot! Megan has piercings in places you can't see, she's want to visit Portugal's Azore Islands, she likes simple pick-up lines and she likes to have sex on the kitchen counter. Michelle is always happy and it drives people nuts, comfy outfits are sexy to her, she hates not getting what she wants, and she accidentally used Icy-Hot while giving a hand job. (Seriously. Ack!)

Final Elimination Round

Megan: I'm still very close with my ex... who's a woman.
Michelle: I make my boyfriends wait a year for sex.
Melissa (eliminated): I'm currently sleeping with three guys.

So much for my love affair with Melissa... ick. Megan's baggage isn't that surprising, since she screams "Rah rah rah PLEASURE!!!" Not surprisingly, Michelle is on the other end of the spectrum. She is very much the "princess" type. And she's very annoying. ick. Given the two of them, I'd go with Megan, since Michelle would annoy me after a week.

Justin sends Michelle packing, so, good work on that. His baggage is one of the following three things:

- I'm a go-go dancer at gay bars.
- I was a drug dealer.
- I slept with the Maid of Honor at my own wedding.

Whew-boy. Of these, the go-go dancer thing would be the least worrisome to me, but all three would be dealbreakers. Megan said she would have the biggest issue with the Maid of Honor thing. She doesn't seem like the type to worry THAT much about drugs, and this is what his baggage is. Megan then confesses that she doesn't even drink, which is shocking, given her other information, and she rejects him. Jerry says, "Good job," to her after, and presumably took her out for dinner instead. You sly dog!


  1. Did Megan say where the piercings are that aren't visible??

  2. None of them sounds particularly appealing. As always the best way to watch the show is to read your blog.

  3. @ Amanda - She did not! It was just during the quick question segment, so Jerry didn't follow up.

  4. @ TS - Thanks for the compliments! I will say that they were all VERY easy on the eyes, so a purely physical thing wouldn't exactly be a chore

  5. I was pulling for Michelle because I love Sarah Silverman (I'm an innocent looking girl who loves to say shocking things). Also, I can appreciate some elevator fear, though I don't refuse to go in the elevator alone...

  6. @ Sadako - Strangely, I do picture you as Sarah Silverman in my head, just, uh, Asian. And on this show, Michelle was WAY over the top. She came off as like one of the nuttiest women ever.

  7. That's a pretty big compliment for someone who loves Sarah as much as I do! Though in real life I'm not that kind of Asian. I'm South Asian, not East Asian, that is. :D

  8. @ Sadako - Plz, I obviously was assuming, uh, whatever Asian you are! Actually, I have dated someone from Korea, and one of my friends is originally from Cambodia, so I realize there is a whole bunch of difference between Asians. (I just have no idea what the distinctions are.)


Try not to be too much of an ass, unless completely necessary. You are subject to tyrannical moderation.


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