The underground soap market

I was replacing the soap in the shower today, as I often do – I enjoy bathing, I must say. Anyway, while doing this, I noticed a curious phrase on the box: Not for individual sale. This immediately made my mind race.

First, if Dove is putting this on the box, it must mean that they've had a problem with it. I mean, otherwise they could have used that space for something more valuable, like some cheesy saying. “Fly among the heavens with Dove.” I believe David Cross or Gallagher (I've got range in the comedians I enjoy) made the same analogy with some ridiculous warning label and McDonald's coffee.

Second, I wonder if these is some elicit soap trade that I just don't know about. The only time I have ever thought about the creation of soap was when they had a few scenes about it in Fight Club, and frankly, I was too busy watching Ed Norton and Brad Pitt beat the shit out of each other to really analyze the soap scenes. (As an aside though, I find Fight Club to beat horribly overrated now. Trading a commercially-oppressive world for one that is full of anarchy and bleakly militaristic seems, at best, a push to me.)

I've never really noticed a big difference from soap brand to soap brand, although some of my ex'es only like to buy a certain kind. Then again, I'm a boy, and I don't even use chapstick, so I might not be an authority on this subject. Maybe there is a flourishing underground market and trade, where people barter five bars of Dove straight-up for three bars of Ivory and four Coasts. It is more interesting to believe that this fanciful market exists, at least in my mind.