You know I don't speak Spanish, 12 Corazones!

I have no freakin' clue what is ever happening on 12 Corazones, but I really wish I spoke Spanish so that I could enjoy it, or that the subtitles worked on my television so that I could understand what the heck they're saying.

As best I can tell, it seems to be some sort of dating show. However, whenever I'm actually watching, the crazy host (pictured above) seems to be kissing some dude on the cheek, or shouting exaggeratedly, while the audience hoots and hollers. It's like a Spanish mix of Jerry Springer and Married, With Children, and it's all a mystery to me.

I even read the Wikipedia page, and I'm still not entirely sure what is happening. Also, they downplay some of the craziness going on. And also, I feel like every show could benefit from having a Nicaraguan astroanalyst. And also also, the same thing goes with the roulette wheel of kisses. This would really spice up those speed-dating seminars you see.

p.s. A mini-commercial rant: Is there any chance at all that the new Wanda Sykes or George Lopez shows survive more than a year? I feel like both have had about 20 different television shows, and none of them have worked out. In baseball, this would be equivalent to constantly starting Miguel Cairo or Juan Pierre, and convincing yourself that this time, it'll be different, and that it'll pan out. How many times do Sykes and Lopez have to fail before they stop getting work? Meanwhile, somewhere, the casts of Arrested Development and Firefly are wondering

The picture comes from this site.