Steveats: Roy Rogers – Master of microwave burgers, heat lamp fries

They certainly look vaguely edible!

Debuting a new, semi-regular feature! I tryout questionable food items so that you don’t have to in… Steveats. (Note: Title developed in about 10 seconds of brainstorming.)

When it comes to microwaved cheeseburgers and French fries that stay warm via heat lamp, there is no better store for you than the Roy Rogers “restaurants” strewn about the New Jersey Turnpike. There is no better alliance between a state and a good chain than

New Jersey and Roy Rogers. They just seem perfect for one another.

The food at Roy Rogers reminds me of the warmed-over cafeteria grub I would get in middle and high school, and oddly, I do mean that as a compliment. I think this Steveats feature has proven that I have pretty horrible taste at times, and an affinity for junky, glucose-filled food. Roy Rogers is the closest thing to cafeteria food that an adult can just purchase in public.

I grabbed some shortly after midnight on Sunday, and my body seemed mostly OK with being subjected to a cheeseburger and perfectly adequate fries. The burger looked a little bit sad, so I managed to spice things up a bit with the fixings they offered – namely, ketchup, mustard and some sort of cheap salsa chop.

So then! Conventional reviews are kind of worthless when it comes to Roy Rogers. From my description of them, you should know whether or not they have something that appeals to you. In additional to the burgers and fries, they also have roast beef, fried chicken, chicken patties and chicken nuggets, and really overpriced soft drinks. Again, it’s just like your high school cafeteria!

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