At The Commercials: Whole Lotta Pooping on Game Show Network

Believe it or not, since I’m so often at the forefront of the hottest pop culture trends, but one of my favorite stations is the Game Show Network. The average viewer age for the channel that plays Family Feud on a loop is probably around 75, but hey, I like me some Feud to unwind at the end of the night. Steve Harvey is funny, and jussstttt titillating enough as a host to make it an interesting show. He’s no Richard Dawson, and I wish GSN would show some older episodes more often, but it’s still plenty good.

However, one constant feature of GSN is odd, uncomfortable and gross commercials. And most of them are about poop. The most benign one is for Cologuard, which you can see here.

Now, in case you couldn’t watch just now or your mind filtered out the entire thing, let me explain what you just watched – You poop in a box and then put it in the mail, and then they analyze your poop and tell you if anything is wrong with your poop. Their mascot is literally a Box of Poop.

I will hand it to them though, the commercial is so cheerful that I didn’t initially realize that it was asking me to poop in a box. And hey, at least it’s kind of, sort of for decent health reasons. Outside of poop commercials, the other bargain basement, budget cable commercials usually feature washed-up celebrities hawking the importance of gold and end of days grifters, and ads about catheters. Along the latter lines…

I feel a bit bad for this actress. She seems to have a bit more spark and personality than the sort you normally get for these kind of commercials. They usually seem resigned to the idea that this probably isn’t good for their overall careers, but hey, you need that check to pay for the kids’ private school tuition.

In contrast, this blonde lady seems like she has some chops. I’d cast her to be the spunky daughter or granddaughter in my Golden Girls 2 treatment. She deserves better than to be talking so openly and loosely about poops. The devil’s donuts.

And, oh yeah – this commercial seems somewhat insane. I have no idea who greenlit it, or thought, “Hey, this will be a good look for our product!” Then again, I’m talking about it and you’re now reading about it, so I imagine THEY WIN. They win with their disgusting poop. God.

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