Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Steveats: JC’s Pie Bites (are really arid)



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"Key Lime."
Debuting a new, semi-regular feature! I tryout questionable food items so that you don’t have to in… Steveats. (Note: Title developed in about 10 seconds of brainstorming.)

I’m a guy who can’t pass up a deal, even if that “deal” involves clearance aisle dessert items that are destined for the garbage compacter. JC’s Pie Bites were going for $0.50 a package at my local Stop and Shop, and unfortunately, they were appropriately priced.

I’d like to bring to your attention first the discrepancy between the package image and the actual pie bite. I expect some embellishment, but goodness, they look like completely different things! I was assuming I’d get one, nice big ball (heh), but instead, the balls come three to a sack (heh heh). Also, they are shriveled, and look like owl pellets or something worse.

As you can see, they’re dry. These are not juicy balls. The best comparison I can think of for the strawberry shortcake flavor is the famous Good Humor bars, and they kind of taste like a drier, worse version of those. The key lime pie bites are even worse.

I got these for 50 cents a pack, off the normal price of $1, but both are too much for these. They’re edible, but they aren’t items I’d ever spend money on again. They’re the sort of forgettable, sugary candy that works as a novelty, but not a consistent snack item. Spend your money on actual Good Humor bars instead of these pale imitations.

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