The Baggage Game - Monday, August 30, 2010

Note: This episode is available to watch at the bottom of this entry. To see Erika's excess baggage, click here.

Ah, welcome to another edition of The Baggage Game! I actually have a bunch of episodes to get through, so expect to see quite a few editions this week. Today, we have Erika, a fitness model from New York. She wants to meet a guy who is handsome and funny, and she is about to say more, but there is a very, very rough and abrupt edit back to Jerry talking instead. Well, nevermind then. As you would expect for a model, Erika is incredibly attractive, even if she is wearing what appears to be a maroon smock. I'm not a fan of this sort of outfit, since it essentially looks like a cloth garbage bag on a woman's body. However, she's kind of like a slimmer, taller, less busty Alyssa Milano.

The first dude vying for her heart is Jason, a salesman from Augusta, Maine. He looks kind of like the temp from The Office. Next is Adi, a law student from Potomac, Maryland. He, uh, also looks like Ryan from The Office, since he has a rectangular hair cut, a vest, a dress shirt and a tie. (Maybe there was a sale at The Gap and the wardrobe department stocked up.) And finally, there is David, an entrepreneur from San Fransisco. He looks like Ted Allen from Queer Eye For The Straight Guy and Chopped, but with an earring. (Note: Erika is WAY out of the league of all three of them, physically.)

First Round
Jason: I saw a UFO.
Adi: I end relationships via e-mail.
David: I'm a diehard trekkie.

Jason's baggage, without any additional info, isn't that concerning to me. He just ventured into his backyard and saw something floating in the air; he isn't claiming to be abducted or anything. The e-mail thing seems to really bug Erika, who says, "I don't know if you're a wuss, or if you're selfish and don't really care but anyone's feelings but your own." He tries to explain himself, at which point I note that he has a funny accent. Meanwhile, David kind of looks like a member of Star Trek with his yellow shirt.

Second Round
Adi: I frequent gay bars.
Jason: I'm a member of a sugar mama website.
David: I pick up hitchhikers.

I would run as fast as I could from the guy who frequents gay bars. Simply put, I don't know any straight guys who do this. Been to one or two? Sure. (I haven't, for the record.) But frequenting them often, ick. Erika is with me on the sugar mama website, thinking this is more silly than anything else. The hitchhiker thing, meh, it seems like no big deal depending on the circumstances.

Erika eliminates the gay bar dude, which is what I would have done as well. Luckily, it's Adi who's eliminated, since he came off as a freak anyway in his interviews. And he says that he goes to gay bar to pick up on the women who have gone there and let their guard down, which makes him sound like a sleazy mofo.

On to the hot spot! Jason got annoyed when his ex broke up with him, uses "how you doin'" as a pick-up line, he's all about PDAs and considers Disney a romantic place to take a woman. (Erika is impressed by this last answer, since she loves Disney and theme parks.) David has never been dumped, he can do magic tricks, he would be a paramedic if they roleplayed and his mother's best advice was for him to be himself. (This is a pretty tame episode of Baggage so far, by the way.) Erika likes that David hasn't dated a ton yet.

Final Elimination Round
Jason: I still sleep with five of my ex'es.
David: I'm an award-winning porn star.
Adi (eliminated): I dated a girl to get to her mother.

If you needed any more confirmation that Adi is a sleaze, well, take a look at that. Good times, good times. But he's not as bad off as Jason, who immediately gets a retching motion from Erika. And she just shakes her head at David's baggage. Earlier, Jerry joked that David was probably a virgin because of the Trekkie thing, which David rubs in his face now. Erika looks like she wants to wants to shoot herself in her face.

However, she does have to chose someone, so she eliminates Jason. Womp womp womp. Anyway, her baggage is one of these three:

- I had affairs with both of my psychiatrists.
- I was a groupie for Marilyn Manson.
- I make my man pay for everything.

My money is on the psychiatrist thing, although I'm not really sure why. David would most have an issue with the "make my man pay for everything" drama... and that's what it is! She takes some joy in this, which makes me think that she's trying to get herself eliminated right now. She also expects to be taken to nice places all the time, and to be given new things. David doesn't take long to reject her, and she actually does seem a bit sad and gives him a hug before leaving the stage.

After the show, David shows a lot more personality than while it was on - He admits that he's surrounded by hot girls all day at work, and wanted someone with a bit more depth than Erika. Wow! Talk about a 180 from how the episode first appeared. Well, good for you, David the Porn Star. If you really want to check out some of his work, click here for his Wikipedia page, which can link you from there. Apparently, he just broke up with his porn star girlfriend, who is here.