Inexplicable Movie Review – X-Men: Apocalypse (is meh)

Still the best version.

Note: Spoilers follow for X-Men: Apocalypse.

The general critic consensus on X-Men: Apocalypse has seemingly been a big “meh,” which as I reflect on how the movie sits with me, I can’t disagree with. While it was a fun flick to watch in the moment, it’s one of those movies I’m probably not ever going to feel the need to see again.

The “problem” is that there are so many good to very good superhero movies now that something just OK like Apocalypse easily slips through the cracks. It doesn’t reboot the series or offer fun twists on the superhero movie like First Class and Days of Future Past did. And, it’s not a really competent continuation of a series like Captain America: Civil War was.

Instead, Apocalypse feels like a throwback to older comic book movies, ones that largely squandered some really cool ideas with bloat. In both the animated series and the comic books, Apocalypse the villain is one of the X-Men teams’ greatest foes, mixing a combination of immortality and advanced technology to be a persistent thorn. However, in the movie he’s seemingly reduced in power – he doesn’t even grow in size – and scant attention is paid to his background beyond “he’s old and from Egypt!”

When it comes to the X-Men, the cast is just getting a bit too unwieldly. It’s tough to care about the budding romance between (a surprisingly not crappy) Cyclops and Jean Grey when they both barely get screen time. Likewise, the 23^rd hour unleashing of Jean Grey’s Phoenix power seems rushed. I thought they were setting something up for a future movie, instead of using it as a plot cudgel in this one.

Of the recent X-Men movies, First Class worked the best to me because it had the smallest cast. There was a sharper focus to all of the characters, which was wonderful, since it meant plenty of standout scenes with Professor X and Magneto. Of course, the elephant in the room – Jennifer Lawrence has been given a bigger role in each new movie, but her character isn’t really that interesting. It’s like the creators of these movies realized that she had become a Big Effing Star, and gave her more screen time, but didn’t really work on the quality of what she had to work with.

Anyway. If you like superhero movies, then this is a perfectly capable, but not fantastic, superhero movie. It’s certainly better than those dreary Superman movies, but Guardians of the Galaxy, The Avengers and Captain America’s solo movies are all better entry points than the X-Men series as a whole.

Want to support Steve’s blogging? Then purchase something via the Amazon clickthru link for Your Parents Basement, Steve’s other project! To read all of Steve’s past Inexplicable Movie Reviews, click here! For Inexplicable TV Reviews, click here! For Inexplicable Video Game Reviews, click here! And for Inexplicable Book Reviews, go here!

Inexplicable Movie Review – Captain America: Civil War and X-Men: First Class

Note: Spoilers follow for Captain America 3 and X-Men: First Class.

Because I’ve seen so many Marvel movies, and the X-Men and Spider-man animated series, and lost hours down the Wikipedia wormhole when it comes to characters, I’m dealing with a problem many other comic book nerds probably have. Namely, the storylines are hopelessly tangled in my mind, especially when it comes to remembering anything I haven’t watched in like the previous three months.

This sprung to mind because over the past five days, I checked out Captain America: Civil War, which then spurred Karen and I to watch X-Men: First Class (and eventually, we’ll get to Days of Future Past). However, much like the time-traveled and addled brains of the mutants, I can’t keep track of what plots are in what mediums.

To tackle the movies in order by release, First Class features the introduction of Alex Summers, a.k.a. Havok. Of course, I recognized that last name, so I kept trying to remember who he was related to for the rest of the movie. It doesn’t help that the Summers’ family history is so tangled. (Note: Comic book spoilers there, and potential future movie spoilers.) Likewise, because the movies often flip the genders and ethnicities of the established characters to justifiably get some more diversity involved, I didn’t know if Angel was the soon-to-be Archangel or someone else. (Answer? The latter.) Mystique and Emma Frost also have twists on their comic book personas.

Timeline and background issues aside, I really enjoyed the ole First Class! It did some great things, like dispelling the notion of Professor X as just this hoary old intellectual. He gets the most playful ‘winks’ at his later incarnations, like the constant mentions of going bald. The Mystique-Professor X relationship felt quite clunky to me at times, but from the trailers for X-Men: Apocalypse, it does seem like they’re trying to make the best out of J-Law’s talents.

First Class is a better movie from start to finish than Captain America: Civil War, to make an odd comparison for no particular reason, except that I’ve seen both of them recently. However, if you really enjoy the superhero movies, and you’ve seen almost all of them, then Civil War might be a more enjoyable experience for you.

First things first – It would probably be more accurate to title the movie Avengers 2.5 or Avengers 3. While Captain America is the most prominent character in the movie, the second most prominent is Iron Man, and the biggest fight scene features them, Black Widow, Vision, Falcon, Scarlet Witch, War Machine and other characters prominent in the Avengers movies.

The Captain America vs. Iron Man squabble is as overwrought as you’d think it would be. However, the movie is really spiced up by the inclusion of Ant Man and Spider-man, who both bring some much needed levity, especially the latter. The new Spider-man movie, whenever it comes out, is going to make a bazillion dollars, and it’s great that Rob Lowe has shared the location of the Fountain of Youth with Marisa Tomei, who is allegedly 51, but that just has to be a god damn lie. (Side note: She barely tweets, and only follows two accounts: Marvel Entertainment, and a NYC make-up artist, who obviously needs a raise.)

Beyond the comic relief, much like with the previous Captain America movie, Winter Soldier, the relationship between the Captain and Bucky provides that best main character moments in Civil War. Bucky’s the only one who can really sympathize with Steve’s situation, even if his mind has been turned to mush by Soviet experimentation. The coolest individual fight scene is the two-on-one between the duo and Iron Man, with some combination moves using the vibranium shield.

Anyway! I’m psyched for the upcoming X-Men movie, as well as the inevitable continuation of the Avengers shared universe. For the full list of the many, many, mannnyyy Marvel movies coming out, Den of Geek has you covered, and for the X-Men movies as well. Excluding Apocalypse, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 and Wolverine 3 seem the most promising to me, and the latter only gets on the list because Old Man Logan / Wolverine is always an awesome idea.

To read all of Steve’s past Inexplicable Movie Reviews, click here! For Inexplicable TV Reviews, click here! For Inexplicable Video Game Reviews, click here! And for Inexplicable Book Reviews, go here!