Inexplicable Movie Review: Journey to the Center of the Earth (1959)

So, the other week, I saw the classic 1959 movie Journey to the Center of the Earth. And surprisingly, it still holds up as a decent movie! Both because of the somewhat-coherent plot, and because of the humor factor, thanks to how dated the clothing, special effects and acting roles are.

The movie title is an example of the TV trope exactly what it says on the tin. In the film, a professor is trying to journey to the center of the Earth, after his assistant brings back a volcanic rock from the ruins of Atlantis. Well, maybe it’s the ruins of Atlantis. He sets off for Iceland with his assistant, and before going into a volcano slash mountain range, they enlist the help of a strong Icelandic dude who doesn’t speak English, and the widow of the professor’s rival. (It, uh… Kind of makes sense in the context of the movie.) They’re followed by a creepy rich dude from an Icelandic village who thinks he owns the center of the Earth.

Along the way, they journey through gemstone caverns, hot springs and an ocean, and they also slay some dragon-looking creatures. And by “dragon-looking creatures,” it’s like super-zoom shots of iguanas or something. The professor falls in love with the widow, and amazingly, they’re missing for more than a year, as they survive on stored food and giant mushrooms. (Note: This is pre-hippies, so they weren’t getting far out or anything.) It’s a simple yarn of a story, and you can definitely see that it’s the predecessor to some things like the escapes of Indiana Jones.

It was awesome to finally see a movie with James Mason in it, since he was one of my favorite impersonations by Bill Hader during his time on Saturday Night Live. This was even though I hadn’t seen any of Mason’s actual work. However, the tone of voice and mannerisms just made Journey so much more enjoyable. (By the way though, Jon Hamm also does a good James Mason.)

The other casting surprise – Pat Boone! I only know him as the aging country crooner who lost all of his money a bunch of times. I didn’t realize was kind of, sort of an actor as well. He plays the hunky, often-shirtless assistant to the professor. It’s a good thing he’s shirtless, at least for the ladies, because he isn’t really much of an actor. Mason and Arlene Dahl, the female lead that plays the widow, are doing the heavy lifting in this film.

Also, character actor Diane Baker pops up as the love interest of Boone, and wears some utterly ridiculous outfits. I used a photo from here for this entry, although this pink number isn’t bad either. (The blog it’s from, Soulish Exhortations, also has a review here.) By the way, that grey and white polka dot number goes allllll the way down. I don't even think you can see her ankles - not until her wedding night, boys!

Anyway! The film is definitely worth checking out. It’s free on Netflix, available for digital download for about $2.99 on other sites, and at pretty much every library ever. And if you like this movie, might I also suggest MST3K movies like The Mole People and the Kathy Ireland vehicle Alien from L.A.?

Mailbag: Wiig, Baggage and Other Crap

So, I've gotten some questions and comments while I've been gone. Doing my best to sum them up…

Q: Hey, how come you hate Kristen Wiig so much?

A: The weird thing is that I kind of don't as much anymore. Since I wrote about wanting to get her fired from Saturday Night Live, they have been using her in radically less skits. (Obviously, the writers and producers over there are big time fans of Stephen On Stuff.)

I still find a lot of her characters, like the neurotic K-Mart clerk and the neurotic Lawrence Whelk Show lady and the neurotic every character in every sketch lady, very annoying. However, when they have her play an actual human being, she's pretty decent. (Still, they need to use Jay Pharaoh more.)

An odd offshoot of all of this is that Wiig apparently has a huge following with younger girls. I got at least two e-mails from angry 14-year-olds, who proclaimed that Wiig is God's gift to comedy. The reference I was making to Lorne Michaels and The Beatles kind of went completely over their heads.

Q: When is The Baggage Game coming back? Do you still watch?

A: I had to put my viewing on hold for a bit, just because I wasn't blogging at all, and my DVR access was a bit limited. However, I do still watch Baggage, and I've started to queue up some episodes for review. I'll probably resume this coming week.

It's weird to me how much pull this show has, and I'm glad that they're still doing new episodes. Springer is just so god damn awesome on it. Also, it seems like my blog is the definitive source for it, oddly enough. From the Model Mayhem board, it seems like they had an encounter with one of the dudes, and a couple other people have found some older entries.

Q: What the heck do you do each day now anyway?

A: In case you missed the earlier entries, or you just managed to find this one, I'm currently an editor and reporter for Narragansett Patch (hence the widget on the side). The job does keep me pretty busy writing, which is why my output on here was so diminished. However, I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things.

When I'm not writing, I enjoy a wide variety of activities. Lately, this has mostly consisted of taking care of my 17-year-old cat, playing PS3, sleeping and kickball. Yes, kickball. Which is where I'm headed to now as I write this, nine hours before it posts, so see ya.

An Ongoing Struggle of Dedication

The weird thing about my blog is that the readership numbers (allegedly) continue to grow even as I don't blog as much. A less vain writer would take this as an indictment of his writing ability, but after running my own news site for (almost) a year, I realize that there is a lot of value in an extensive back catalog. (In a true sign of the height of my own vanity, I often find myself clicking through past entries I've done, thanks to the “You Might Like...” prompting at the bottom of each of my entries.)

Anyway. My own effort on this has wavered, obviously. I've almost restarted about five times in the ensuing, unplanned five month vacation of mine from writing. In fact, it's bizarre to look back at my last entry to realize that the last time I wrote was the first week I got my cat, which has now been with me for three months. (As a status update on the cat, he really enjoys my new apartment much more, since the windows are much lower to the ground and he can perch there. He's still really, really old.)

At least for now, there should be posts queued up for these next two weeks – another one on Thursday, and Monday, Wednesday and Friday of next week. Beyond that, I'll have to see. If I continue writing, it will probably be on more evergreen topics, since the demands of work often don't leave me with time to do posts on the fly. I'm still a big fan of my workplace and what not, but it does take a full 40 to 50 hours a week, as compared to past journalism jobs, where I did get a bit more time to coast. (On the plus side, there are few things more joyous to me than being able to set my own hours.)

Addressing some of the comments that piled up in my absence: People are really quite into Kristen Wiig. I haven't seen Bridesmaids, but I kind of want to – it looks funny. However, to refine my earlier arguments on Wiig, it's not that I don't think she's funny. I just think she's way, way overused on Saturday Night Live. It's a habit Lorne Michaels can lapse into at times; some of the Jimmy Fallon years, he is in every single sketch too. But now that he has his own show and the humor isn't as forced, I've come to enjoy him much more. I imagine Wiig will be the same thing – I'll probably like her “Best Of” DVD, and whatever future endeavors she's into.

A ho-hum Saturday Night Live with the gorgeous Emma Stone

I didn't realize that Emma Stone was so tall, and had such great legs, until last night's Saturday Night Live. Also, there was a pretty funny sexual education skit in the final 30 minutes - It was much, much better than the lame ones with Kenan Thompson.

And hey, now that I think about it, there were several good moments in Weekend Update. It's silly, but I like the Stefon character. Furkels was great, and made me spit-take a bit. And Kenan was really good as that wacky "The rent is too damn high!" character. And the weird French dancing skit was something they would have done on an old school Saturday Night Live, and very effective.

As usual, anything Kristen Wiig was in made me recoil. And the opening monologue? I bet while Jay Pharoah was watching in the background, he was thinking, "Why does this Fred mother effer get to Obama?" That was long, drawn-out and not funny. Same thing goes with everything Wiig was featured prominently in. Another funny skit, the "my brother is awesome!" show, made that clear to me. Just start putting the new girls in every skit, Lorne Michaels.


Note: Sorry for the brevity of this entry, but I'm doing this, that and the other thing tonight - Packing for a two-day trip to New York, preparing for the initial high school newspaper edition of the year, planning for my site launch on November 1... Being an adult is tough work.

Denzel (and Jay Pharoah) make SNL tolerable

My buddy Tom and others have suggested a way to save Saturday Night Live that I'll sign off on - Just have Jay Pharoah in every skit. A blog at The Wall Street Journal is singing his praises (eerie fact: It's written by Christopher John Farley), and I will second them. He's only been in three skits so far, but he's been great in all of them. Much like when Eddie Murphy joined the show in 1980 and put it on his back, I think Pharoah should do the same with Andy Samburg.

The best skit this past Saturday featured Pharoah as a pitch-perfect Denzel Washington. He was immersing himself in his role as a worker at a customer service desk, and angryly cajoling a customer (a disappointing-as-host Jane Lynch) for trying to return a BLACK hand bag. "Is there something wrong with the color of this bag?" He completely nailed Denzel, and the clip is in the WSJ article linked above.

Unfortunately though, the rest of the show felt lackluster, as you can probably guess from my comment about Lynch. They showed glimpses of promise, like when they had a pretty funny skit about Glee...

... Only for the whole thing to be derailed with the inclusion of Gillie, the horrible character played by Kristen Wiig that almost nobody likes. (Sorry Picosita. And also, my 10-member anti-Wiig Facebook group can still be joined here!)

The skit was going along fine, not hilarious but still funny, until she came on my screen. I instantly cringed and found something else to busy myself for the next couple minutes. Once she made an appearance, the only other funny part of the skit was the introduction of gay Kurt's dad.

I don't understand the thinking on involving Gillie at all. By itself, Glee is incredibly easy to mock, and they were doing a good job of that. You simply don't need to include a tired Kristen Wiig character. Is it in her contract that she has to be in 10 skits per week? Does she give head writer Seth Meyers a handy each time she makes an appearance?

Anyway. Outside of that horrible-ness, there was a funny bit or two. The FB application for mom-proofing your profile was pretty good, even if it didn't make logical sense, since there are plenty of privacy tools already to keep people out of your FB. I was also a big fan of the New Boyfriend Show, featuring Samburg as a kid who interviews his mom's boyfriends in the morning... and who gleefully tells today's guest that he's on the 100th episode.

Saturday Night Live - Now more average!

Last night's Saturday Night Live was better than the season opener, which is somewhat surprising, given the differences in cast. Yeah, Bryan Cranston is an upgrade on Amy Poheler, but there weren't nearly as many celebrity cameos.

But in contrast to the opener, the ones they did have were used in one of my favorite skits, "What Up With That?" My friend Tom noted that it's a bad sign when it's on early in the show, which turned out to be true, but the actual skit with Morgan Freeman, Ernest Borgnine and Lindsay Buckingham was as awesome as usual to me. (p.s. Morgan, drop the earring. It looks weird.)

Unfortunately, the rest of the show was just average, outside of the opening with Andy Samberg as the departing Rahm Emanuel. Also, WUWT was the only skit to use Jay Pharoah, who seems like he had breakout potential. After his awesome Will Smith impression in the first week, how can you not use him more, Lorne Michaels? Heck, he didn't even get to do Obama, even though Fred Armisen's version really, really sucks.

Part of the reason why the rest of the show was average, though, and not bad, was because Lorne obviously got my memo from last week. Wiig was in less skits this week, which helped the overall quality. What did suck was that she was the "sexy girl" in a skit that also had Abby Elliott, which makes absolutely no sense. Oh, and also, in this skit she was gagging, burping and farting, among other fun stuff. Lovely.

So, with that in mind, there is still time to join my anti-Kristen Wiig group on Facebook! Nine people strong against her, woohoo!

Dear Lorne Michaels, Kristen Wiig sucks.

After watching the premiere of Saturday Night Live yesterday, I've decided that something has to be done about Kristen Wiig.

Yes, she can be funny sometimes. However, as SNL is currently constituted, this seldom happens. I liked her in the opening sketch as Delware politician Christine O'Donnell. From there, it was a repeat of past shows, as she was unfunny in most of her skits playing the same neurotic, high-pitched character she plays in every sketch. On the whole, I agree with the review of the show by New York Magazine:

[Host Amy] Poehler ably carried the show, of course. Mostly, it was far from her best SNL work, and the return of all those former, funny cast members just made us miss better SNL line-ups, and it almost seemed a little desperate on NBC’s part.

Well said. Some of my friends bring up the point that Wiig is the one woman they can trust in the cast to give a decent performance, as if this is a good excuse. But how is anyone else in the cast going to develop if you keep giving the airtime to Wiig, Fred Armisen, etc.? Heck, Andy Samburg is the most popular cast member, and he was barely in anything last night.

Therefore, I proposed this deal to Lorne Michaels on Facebook:

Dear Lorne Michaels,

I have no idea why you feel a compulsive need to put Kristen Wiig in seemingly EVERY Saturday Night Live skit, but honestly, it needs to stop. Maybe you think it's awesome that she plays the same neurotic character with the silly voice in every sketch, but I'm not a fan.

In April of 1976, Lorne, you offered The Beatles $3,000 to appear on the show. Well, I'm doing the same for you - If you fire Kristen Wiig, I'll write you a check for $3,000. If this sweetens the pot for you, my checks have Sesame Street characters on them, and you can pick which one you like the best.

Anyway, let me know what you think, Lorne. (Can I call you Lorne? I realize I've already done it a couple times in this message.) I'm eagerly awaiting your response.

Sincerely,
Steve

-----
The group is open to the public, and you can look at it and join the crusade by clicking here. I don't think it'll actually work, but hey, it sure would be sweet if it did.

A quick post of odds and ends.

Saturdays are always my least-read day, which in turn makes it hard for me to get the proper motivation toward them. A couple weeks ago, I had the idea of using it as a showcase for my horrible cartoon strip, The Greatest Comic Ever Ever, and I managed to get the first one posted. However, I probably don't have regular access to a scanner for another couple of weeks, so I've decided to delay pursuing that completely.

So, since I don't have the comic to use for Saturdays, I decided instead to do some random odds and ends, entertainment-wise. You know, for things I couldn't really do a full post on, but that still interest me. For example...


- Did you know Paris Hilton can be funny? Me either! And surprisingly, it took Jimmy Fallon to get it out of her. The above is still one of my favorite Saturday Night Live clips. She wasn't hosting this episode, just doing a guest spot, which is probably why it was decent. (The episode she did host wasn't that well-received by the cast, apparently.)

Always funny and awesome though is Kenan Thompson in "What Up With That." I notice something new each time, like how Kenan doesn't slap Lindsay Buckingham's hand.


- I caught some of the Betty White-featuring Hot in Cleveland the other night, and I thought it was pretty enjoyable. If you like The Golden Girls, but wish they weren't all effing ancient, then this is funny in a similar way. The only annoying aspect is the persistent laugh track. It's a good, old school style scripted comedy, with a completely ridiculous premise of three showbiz workers deciding to leave it all behind for the relaxed life of Cleveland, but it is overall a bit of a throwback to a somewhat bygone era.

However, it does make me question whether it is wrong for me to be quite enamored with Jane Leeves. She's almost 50, but between the accent and the general good looks, she's still quite foxy.

The picture of Jane comes from this TV Land photo gallery, which is also the network the show is on.

Hey, Chevy Chase used to be funny!

Insert obvious joke about Chevy's career.

Since he's now been relegated to a minor supporting character on Community, it's easy to forget that Chevy Chase was once funny. Heck, all of his best work - Caddyshack, Fletch, Saturday Night Live - came out either well before or near my birth date in 1984. (I'll wait for some of you to come back from hanging yourselves.)

His demotion isn't exactly undeserved. Even on Community, his character has seemingly been scaled back because he simply isn't as funny as the younger comedians. Because he kind of looks the same, it's easy to forget that he's 66, and that a lot of his former SNL co-stars either work reduced schedules (Bill Murray) or are similarly damaged by drugs (Garrett Morris) or are dead (Belushi). Chase simply surviving to this point, given his immense cocaine problems in the past, is surprising.

However, I recently stumbled across the old Chevy Chase NBC specials on the Internets, and it is amazing how much of a fastball he had then. From 1975 and 1977, there is a dry sort of humor that is well ahead of its time. There is stilted, awkward dialogue, the sort of which Adult Swim and Space Ghost and Archer would use 30 years later, along with traditional sketches. The drug humor is also far toned down from the first season of SNL. (People tend to deify that first season, but for every great Samurai Delicatessen sketch, there is one where everyone is loaded and slurring through their lines.)

I'm guessing the specials are so good because there are only three of them. Heck, even Charlie Murphy was great for two episodes of Chappelle's Show. Without Dave and Neil Brennan editing? Eh, not so much. The specials give a glimpse at Chevy's incredible talents, and it is just a shame so much of it vanished up his nostrils.

On an unrelated note, the specials also have a really, really young and hipster Martin Mull in them. It's hard to imagine him as an actual comedian now, given all of his supporting roles - he has been in 111 freakin' things! I'll always remember him as Col. Mustard from the Clue movie though, which only I seemed to love.

Saturday Night Live goes out like a punk

Oh sigh. Saturday Night Live, even with Alec Baldwin hosting, you sure did stink this weekend. What the hell happened? Just last week, your Betty White episode was pretty swell. It wasn't perfect, but for this season, it was pretty damn good.

But Saturday's episode? What a god damn train wreck. By my count, there were three funny moments - Meyers' jokes during Weekend Update, the appearance of Stefan in Update, and Baldwin as an abusive swim coach. None of these were original features, and only one used the considerable talents of Baldwin, who seemed on autopilot the majority of the night.

Dear Saturday Night Live, PLEASE stop making Kristen Wiig play some awkward, horrible shrew in every god damn sketch. If you don't have faith in Jenny Slate or Abby Elliott to do anything, then please, just do all-male sketches or something. Heck, you haven't even done "What's up with that?" lately, which is normally a guaranteed way to kill six to eight minutes.

Grade: D

Happy Mother's Day! With Timberlake and Samburg.

In honor of Mother's Day, and because I'm kind of busy as a result, please enjoy the Justin Timberlake and Andy Samburg tribute to Mother's Day, featuring Patricia Clarkson and Susan Sarandon. "It would be an honor / To be your new stepfather." Totally classy!

No, thank YOU for being our friend, Betty White. And for saving SNL.

Considering how much I've been down on Saturday Night Live this season, I was honestly hoping that they didn't manage to mess up what should have been a slam dunk. After all, my anticipation was high, since I had been following the "Betty White for host!" movement in two different posts, here and here. Plus, Jay-Z was the musical guest, and I love Jay-Z! (You know, in a ghetto thug way, because I'm street.)

There was electricity in the air from the opening skit, as Betty White got such a reaction from the studio audience that she could barely sputter out her first line. This, and the digital short that closed the show, were moments that brought a smile to my face. Similar to the Super Bowl or the clinching game of a World Series or election night, you just got the feeling that you were watching something special. The episode probably did a great rating - I'm going to guess the highest of the season for a kind of mediocre one for Saturday Night Live.

With that as background, this episode was... pretty average. Unfortunately, there were a slew of rehashed skits, like the spoof of Lawrence Whelk and the dancing Spanish language sketch, that left Betty with small cameo roles. Most of her humor derived from saying dirty words in sketches, like one that consisted of her saying "Lesbian!" about a dozen times.

The two best sketches, outside of the always good Weekend Update, were rehashes. It was the prison outreach sketch, with Kenan and Betty yelling at kids to stay straight. It wasn't original in the slightest, but Betty got plenty of lines, unlike a lot of the other sketches. In the skit before the goodbyes, Tina Fey played a census taker, a funny re-do of a skit from a couple years ago featuring Tim Meadows and Christopher Walken.

Spicing up a lot of the show were a slew of guest appearances by former female cast members. I spotted Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Molly Shannon, Ana Gasteyer, Rachel Dratch and Maya Rudolph, who pregnancy has been very, very good to. In fact, the only person I was surprised not to see was Cheri Oteri; I would have figured her as a participant. And while I was really hoping for a super-special-surprising cameo, like Julia-Louis Dreyfus or Sarah Silverman, it wasn't meant to be.

Oh, and by the way, Jay-Z performed! His first "song" was actually a shockingly long medley of several songs that lasted about six or seven minutes. I'm for it, since I'm a big fan. The second song was merely average though, and the dedication at the end to Betty White felt a bit cheesy. Plus, hey, no Beyonce? C'mon Jay, pull out all the stops!

All in all, this was one of the better episodes of the season, which is like being the beauty queen of Bumfuk, Indiana. However, the reaction Betty got made it worth watching and experiencing.

Grade: B

The bumper picture from SNL is from this review of the show.

TV Review: SNL merely average with sub-par host

Hey, Saturday Night Live still has new episodes this year! For some reason, I find this surprising. Because of their rigorous writing and rehearsal schedules, it always feels like they start later and finish sooner than every other show out there.

In an iffy season like this one, that isn't necessarily a bad thing. The best part of last night's show was the embed clip above, which was actually by one of the show's writers, not even a cast member. I definitely agree with his take on Girl Scout cookies; I could eat boxes of those god damn Thin Mints at any point of the year. (As a bonus, Seth Meyers and I apparently think alike - I wrote my blog earlier today about the Lane Bryant models before his thing on the Charmin bears with toilet paper stuck to their ass.)

Beyond Weekend Update, the only other skit I really enjoyed was the recurring one with Tina Funnylastname, the doorbell tone saleswoman. This time though, she was working on alarm clocks. Much like "What up with that?" and Astronaut Jones, the sketch is just so silly and weird that I can't help but laughing every time I see it. While Jenny Slate will probably still be remembered mostly for dropping an F-bomb on her debut show, I like this character of hers.

Beyond that though, the show was very meh. Gabourey Sidibe sucked as the host, which didn't really surprise me. Her, uh, unique look kind of limits what sort of skits and roles she can be in, so I was subjected to her as an angry black lady in an apartment complex and as a disgruntled federal worker. Also, she apparently studied for her hosting stint by reviewing nothing but Jimmy Fallon tapes, since she flubbed lines and cracked up laughing at several points.

If you didn't catch this episode, then I recommend you just watch Weekend Update and the alarm clock skit - it's about 10 minutes after Update - instead of subjecting yourself to the entire thing.

Grade: C-

TV Review: SNL back up to adequate

While the early 2000s and late 1990s still seem like centuries ago, and even the mini-Renaissance of the past couple years has faded with the stink bomb of the early episodes, Saturday Night Live does seem to be climbing out of its funk. This week's show had some strong sketches, even though the host, Ryan Phillippe, was nothing special.

The show started out strong with the cold open, which was an always enjoyable Larry King spot. Yeah, he's still no Norm MacDonald, but King is always so ripe for parody, as were his guests, Bjork and Richard Branson (pictured above). SNL has been a lot better this season when it has strayed away from politics and stuck to mocking pop culture and celebrities. The monologue was also decent, since it starred one of my favorite characters at the end, DeAndre Cole. "Wooooo, wheeee! What's up with that?"

From there, the show replayed a commercial spoof, although it was one of the better ones, mocking the home security commercials that feature random white dudes breaking into houses. I loved the next skit though, featuring the doofy mock ESPN sportscasters shilling for female condoms during a female weightlifting competition. (I am just barely old enough to remember the days when ESPN really did show lots of crap like that. Now, the female weightlifting, bowling and strong man events are mostly confined to ESPN2 on the weekends.)

The rest of the episode was merely average to me, although an average episode of SNL is above their standard for this season. Also, this makes me potentially gay, but I actually like Ke$ha. Her music is catchy, and I'm not ashamed to say that I find her easy on the eyes as well. I have no idea what she was thinking with the American flag cape, but hey, it works for me.

Grade: B

Belatedly Liking Stuff: Buster Poindexter (NSFW lyrics)

Yes, really - I'm now listening to a bit of Buster Poindexter.

I can't even claim cool points by insisting that I'm getting into his stuff performed under his actual name, David Johansen, the front-man of the super influential "punk before it was punk" New York Dolls. Although the band never really sold a lot of records, they were later heralded for ushering in what would become punk music in many circles.

No, I'm straight up listening to Buster Poindexter, the snarky and smooth jazz singer persona that Johansen adopted after a couple of his solo albums didn't perform so well.

In particular, the YouTube link above is "Heart of Gold", which I stumbled upon while watching an old Saturday Night Live this weekend. In the late 1980s, Poindexter served as a singer for their house band, and he apparently did songs on live broadcasts to fill time. In an otherwise nondescript episode that featured the immortal Bronson Pinchot (Serge from Beverly Hills Cop) hosting, and some cute guest appearances by supermodel Paulina Poriskova, Poindexter steals the show with a performance of "Heart of Gold." How good was it? Well, in the original broadcast, it ended the show - typically a slot given to crappy or risque sketches. In the repeats, it was edited to shortly after Weekend Update, in front of the second performance by some guy named Paul Young.

Poindexter is just weird as heck, like a tongue-in-cheek version of Richard Cheese. While Dick does obviously humorous versions of songs, Poindexter's feel sincerely artistic and GOOD, even while I feel like he is smirking as he sings. Johansen performed and composed them when he was in his late 30s and early 40s, and from listening to his tracks, I almost get the feeling he is mocking the listener with shit like "Hot Hot Hot" and "Hit The Road Jack." Both are unbelievably bad and cheesy now, the type of song only someone younger than 13 can possibly like, or something that relatives would dance drunkenly to at weddings. Yet for months in the 1980s, they dominated the charts, and I imagine Johansen laughed like a bastard on his way to the bank. Heck, even Rolling Stone got a bit swept up in the feeling, judging from their review.

The second-best example of the cheesiness, since I refuse to link to "Hot Hot Hot":

Around The Dial: White confirmed for SNL, Conan confirmed for Boston, and death confirmed for shows

Some more television news for you all to digest, since I am woefully behind on my television viewing because of work...

- Our long national nightmare is over, as The New York Daily News and People and practically every other outlet on the Internet is reporting that Betty White will host Saturday Night Live on May 8. According to them and others, guest appearances by Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Molly Shannon, Maya Rudolph, Ana Gasteyer and Rachel Dratch will help White split up the workload of the show.

For myself and other members of the Facebook group devoted to getting her on the show, this is great, great news. I'm just hoping that it doesn't spawn movements for other, inferior hosts, that would water down the entire concept. For example, as much as I love the Chuck Norris facts floating around the Internetz, he would make a pretty horrible SNL host. I think we all got a good dose of his "acting" ability from Walker, Texas Ranger.

- Speaking of Chuck Norris and Walker tangentially, Conan O'Brien is now on tour! It bears the comical name Legally Prohibited From Being Funny On Television Tour, and Conan will hit 30 cities, along with sidekick Andy Richter and portions of his band. Tickets start at $39.50.

I would love to go to this, but I'm not sure if anyone I know in Boston or Rhode Island would be interested in going with me. (This is assuming that tickets haven't already sold out.) If you'd like to go with me, shoot me an e-mail (sgre6768@gmail.com) or leave a comment. He is playing two shows in Boston, Friday June 4 and Saturday June 5. Both shows start at 8 p.m., and ideally, I'd prefer the Saturday show.

- I talked the other day about The Forgotten being canceled already, which made me curious about what other shows had been canceled so far this year. Luckily for me though, TV Series Finale has done all the work for me already with a great list here!

First, I'm really disappointed that I never saw Blonde Charity Mafia, which frankly sounds like something I would make up. My show would revolve around supermodel blondes pulling bank heists and acting EXACTLY like the characters in The Godfather and Goodfellas. Unfortunately, the actual show was supposed to be a docu-series about a trio of young, influential women in D.C. (I'm presuming they would be blonde.)

Second, I was glad to read that Flight of the Conchords ended of their own accord as opposed to waiting for the axe to fall from HBO. While I enjoy Bret and Jemaine as much as anyone, I found their series to stretch the concept a bit much. Their old stand-up special packed the quality into a compact bit, whereas the show stretched it as thin as silly putty.

Third, I find TNT dramas to be very overwrought. I don't like The Closer or Saving Grace, and a third show, Raising The Bar with Zack Morris, has been axed completely. Good riddance. Zack, please go back to your hijinks at Bayside. Heck, you could probably be the principal at this point, which would lead to HILARIOUS role reversals!

And finally, unfortunately... The Tyra Banks Show is done. NOOOOO! She provides so much great fodder for The Soup with Joel McHale. Sigh. At least he still have Wendy Williams, Maury Povich, The Today Show and reality shows to keep afloat...

The Betty White photo is from here. The Flight of the Conchords photo is from here.

Around The Dial: Betty White close to SNL gig and Glee goes Washington

I was only planning on doing one post today, but surfing the sometimes-excellent web site of Entertainment Weekly led me to do this "extra" post, even though it is technically appearing before the other one... Anyway, on to the news!

- Michael Ausiello of Entertainment Weekly is reporting that Betty White and Saturday Night Live are close to reaching an agreement on her being the host for an episode! Because she is an 88-year-old lady, she would apparently be part of a "Women of Comedy" night that could feature SNL alums Molly Shannon, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.

Given White's obvious health limitations, I definitely wouldn't be opposed to that. I do hope that SNL tries to expand and fold in a few more alums or female performers that are off the beaten path. Obviously, Bea Arthur would be a bit of a hard get, but Cloris Leachman and Phyllis Diller are still around. If you'd like some more contemporary alums, Sarah Silverman was on the show for about five minutes in the 1990s, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus was on the show for several seasons.

- Apparently, I'm not the only dude who loves Glee, as President Obama has arranged for the cast of the show to perform at the annual White House Easter Egg Role on Monday, April 5. This is another scoop from Ausiello at Entertainment Weekly, so really, he's doing pretty well this week in my book.

Anyway, since I vaguely just mentioned Glee and a story on it, it gives me a great excuse to run a picture of the vexing Lea Michele. Enjoy!

The photo of Lea is from this blog. The awesome picture of Betty White is from this blog.

Birthday Links: A few of my favorite things

I'm home early, so I thought I'd throw in a few links to things I like. For example, the above image is from my Southern friend Kristi, who got it from this funny site.

- I've always been a big fan of Dana Carvey, since I was a kid, in fact. One of his best impressions is of Johnny Carson, another one of my favorites. Although the audio is synced oddly, you can get him at his best at this YouTube link. It's one of the clips they don't really show all that often on the SNL Best Ofs, so I heartily recommend it.

- I belatedly recommended Vampire Weekend yesterday, so I'll try for another band today: The Wombats. Their most popular song would be the literally-named "Let's Dance To Joy Division".

- However, the above I realize is just the song, and not an actual music video. I love music videos as an art form. One of my favorites that you would never, ever see on MTV now is "Elektrobank" by The Chemical Brothers. As a warning, it is kind of long at 5 minutes, 47 seconds, and it is techno. It is nifty at telling a little story in this short time frame though, and one that syncs well to the music of the song. It is one of Spike Jonze's works, if that helps sway your opinion.

Other great music videos that I like: "Star Guitar" by The Chemical Brothers. "Sabotage" (with an extra intro and outro) by The Beastie Boys. "Love in this Club" by Karys Rhea (not Usher), acoustic. "The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny" by Lemon Demon.

- A thing I really like that I always forget about: light gun games. Tonight, in honor of my birthday, I'm playing some Time Crisis 3. Like four years ago, I got that game AND the gun NEW for like $30! It was at one of those music stores in the Wakefield Mall that does not know how to properly price games at all, because right next to it, they had Bugz or some other crap for $40. Oh well, their loss! I also have Time Crisis 2 (not as good) and Vampire Night (cheesy but kind of fun). Some sort of House of the Dead game is on my GameFly list for the Wii, since I didn't realize until like two weeks ago that the Wii-mote would be PERFECT for light gun gaming.

- And to close things out, another image from that card site from my buddy Mike (not Smith):