YPB: Episode 052 – Spider-man: Web of Fire (1996)

This week in Your Parents Basement, we are web-slinging our way through entire stages! From 1996, we’re playing Spider-man: Web of Fire by BlueSky Software for the 32X.

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TIMESTAMPS

• 0:00 – Intro, which features the god awful, tinny title theme from the game. And somehow, it’s not the normal Spider-man theme! (For that awesome track, go here.)
• 41:15 – Emails! The boys talk steampunk, Blade Runner and casual games to relieve stress.
• 1:09:00 – Snifferoo. Next week, it’s an anniversary celebration!

SHOW NOTES

- According to Price Charting, Web of Fire is one of the costliest games that was available commercially. The loose price is $207, or $405 for the box and manual, and up to $575 for a “new” copy.

- The full list of 32X games can be seen here. For more on the system, go here.

Kirsten Dunst has lost her god damn mind, and so has Jack :(

Dear Kirsten Dunst, I'm sorry that Spider-Man 4 was canceled a couple of months ago. Maybe this has caused you to ponder some past career decisions, and to try to grab some "indy credit" like Zooey Deschanel has, for her dual-acting and singing careers, kind of.

However, that thing above... is just a bad idea. What the eff were you thinking, child? Ack! Thanks to Gawker for the original posting that I saw on it, and for my friends Tom and Kristi for bringing it to my attention.

I guess I have to call it "artistic" because it is bad, like an Asian fetish dude's wet dream. The only thing missing from that video is tentacle porn, and I suppose there is only none of that because the video is shooting for an NC-17 or R-rating as opposed to being hentai. But between all the Japanese school girls, busty anime chicks, sparkles and bad singing, I mentally threw up about 40 times.

Speaking of bad ideas, the real-life Jack Shepard has been stepping out on his lady. Matthew Fox! Knock that behavior off, please. It is being reported by sleazy outfits, like The National Enquirer and InTouch, but I guess we'll know if there is an actual divorce or not whether it was true.

Secondly, how come all of these cheaters step-down a bit with their targets? At least Tiger Woods was doing some porn stars and models in addition to gross waitresses at Waffle Houses; presumably he was picking up some new tricks. Matthew Fox allegedly slept with some gross 25-year-old stripper with a kid. barf. Hey Matt Fox, stick with your already good-looking wife with whom you have kids with! Don't go all Sawyer on us.

The picture of Fox and his wife is from this site. I'll have my thoughts on last night's episode a little bit later, when I'm done watching the episode.

Spider-Man 4 is more like Spider-Man No-More

According to reports on the Internetz, the Spider-Man series is already getting a reboot, as the crew of director Sam Raimi, actor Tobey Maguire and actress Kirsten Dunst will not be back. This came after clashes between Marvel Studios and Raimi over what villains to use, and reportedly, the reboot will bring the series back to high school.

This whole thing makes me very worried. Did Spider-Man 3 suck? Most definitely - Peter as a bad ass was horrible, as was the whole business with him being a spiteful bitch toward Mary Jane, who was WAY out of his league. While I didn't think Maguire or Dunst were unbelievably awesome in their roles, the success of the first and second installments of the series should have at least bought the crew a chance to make up for the atrocities of the third with a new movie.

The rumor that the series reboot will take place in high school makes me nervous. If this was a few years ago, then I would have thought that Spider-Man would follow in the footsteps of the Batman Begins series, and gone super-gritty and realistic. That doesn't really fit in with the theme of the series... which is precisely why they SHOULD do something like that! A gritty Spider-Man would be a fresh take on the series, and something new that's worth exploring.

Instead, I imagine that it'll have more in common with Twilight than Batman Begins. This is because movie executives are stupid, and would rather copy proven "successful" stuff than to take the time to nurture something. Look at James Cameron - He's responsible for about $2 billion in revenue between Titanic and Avatar and Terminator 2, but even he gets shit for taking a long time to ensure that something is justtttt perfect. The new Spider-Man will probably be more like a merging of the shitty Wolverine movie, X-Men 3 and Twilight, although I really hope I'm wrong.

The picture comes from this blog, which also has a review of Spider-Man 3.