Steve hates moving, edition 10.

I hate moving.

While the new place is always something I've looked forward to, it doesn't change the fact that the actual process to moving is always a horrible, horrible thing. Every time I'm about to move, I promise myself that this time, it'll be different and easier, but this is seldom the case.

I was actually semi-good for me this time. We got permission to move into our new place on Wednesday, a couple days earlier than what I thought, which was Saturday. So, I moved a couple boxes over Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

However, despite this early progress, I'm still left with a whole bunch of crap. Sigh. At least it is a bearable 77 degrees, as opposed to my past couple of moves, which were in 90-degree heat. (Note: That type of stupid coincidence takes more than dumb luck. Rhode Island doesn't get 90-degree heat EVERY summer, yet the last three moves I had done, it was that hot each day. I have a talent for planning important things on bad days.)

Anyway, I think I have two trips left, and then I'll be completely moved out. Wish me well, folks!

The picture is from this site that tries to hook up geeks with women. Oh sweet irony!

Movin' on up... And why Steve dislikes bikers (the cyclist kind).

I apologize for the delayed posts the past couple days, but I'm moving out of my parents' house and into an apartment with my friend Becca in a nearby town - woohoo! It's been far too long for me, and it almost feels like escaping prison. It's almost hard for me to imagine life out on my own again, but yet, I'm excited to give it a try. Becca and I have known each other since seventh grade, and we're not dating each other, so I don't think it'll be awkward at all.

Anyway, I also don't really have any pictures yet. I don't have a proper camera, and I always forget that my cell phone has one, so I haven't snapped any photos. Since I know y'all are probably naturally curious, the above picture is the Google Maps satellite image of the new crib. If you want to get super nosy, you can look it up yourself - 657 Dry Bridge Road, North Kingstown. (Feel free to mail me money or delicious cakes and cookies as well. No poison or stalking though.) We have a super-huge backyard, which is actually a huge collection of local farms, so that's nice. The parking situation is less than ideal, but still, there should be plenty of room for BBQs and other fun stuff.

Between work and frantically packing and trying to move out by Saturday, I have tried to sneak in some basketball. However, this is a surprising pain in the ass because the court closest to me, Crandall Field in Ashaway / Hopkinton, is constantly stalked by a roving gang of kids on bicycles.

They aren't as bad as The Warriors or anything, but the park has developed a reputation as a place for bikers and skaters to go. As a result, nobody plays hoops there anymore. The town finally managed to get rid of the black spray paint that said "Die kikes!", but they don't do much in terms of keeping the bikers off the court. They constantly drag a picnic table and a nearby trash barrel on to the court and then try to jump over them. (Note: This small bit of vandalism and graffiti is odd for the field, which is otherwise inhabited by a nice, big playground and friendly families.)

So to you punk kid cyclists there, Old Man Greenwell shakes his fist at you. Hopefully, there are less of you in North Kingstown.

Steve At Work

Have you ever wondered, "Hey, what does Steve look like when he's working?" Well, thanks to the obtrusive nature of television news, you can now find out by clicking here. I'm in the background of both of the videos on that page, wearing the green polo shirt. For the fuller version of that story though, I recommend my paper's articles on the court case, which can be accessed here (today's hearing) and here (the background).

I'll admit that it is kind of odd to be in the background, working, while someone else is working, if that makes sense. It happens to me pretty frequently though, since I have the courthouse beat. Earlier this week, I believe I made it into some broadcasts because a crooked lawyer was sentenced to a year in jail and I was there working. I'm also in this YouTube video about historic flooding in Rhode Island, albeit briefly.

Here is the sad part - My brief appearances on television always elicit more of a response than most thins I actually write for the paper. Here is a rough hierarchy of what events cause me to get the most feedback:

Being in a background shot of a television story > reporting a major story in print > writing a column with a head shot > a normal news story

Anyway. I'll add that I've never been on television for a legitimate reason. I was interviewed once by The Providence Journal because a fraternity at URI stole a bunch of our student newspapers and burned them at their house. However, I think that story ended up on the bottom of A-1 or B-1, and it represents the peak of my Z-level local celebrity.

The picture of Dusty and Robbie is from this site here.

Hey omg it's my birthday!

Yes, you read the title correctly - Valentine's Day is my birthday! As a result, I'm taking the day off. You can listen to my birthday song, performed by my future wife, here.

On attraction, romantic comedies and Valentine's Day

Nobody puts Baby in the corner.

I generally don't like to do personal posts on this blog. Because of a horrible, stupid past experience on my part, I realize how harmful it can be to get really personal on a blog read by everybody. I can't even read features like "Modern Love" at The New York Post, because they make me squirm way too much. While I consider myself a relatively open person, I definitely wouldn't want to reveal everything, like many of those letters.

That being said, I thought I'd talk a bit about romantic comedies and the new movie Valentine's Day. Basically, a couple of friends have noted that they think romantic comedies suck because they aren't reflective of real-life. I agree with them - Most feature somewhat dweeby guys getting with women way out of their league, or someone pining for their best friend. In most real-life situations, someone would have made a move at some point.

However, that being said... Some of the things in romantic comedies are correct. For example, I think (practically) everyone has 1) at least one friend that they have a crush on, that the friend is completely oblivious to and 2) are probably the object of someone's affection, and they have no idea that this is the case. For myself, #1 is true, and obviously, I don't know if #2 is also correct. If there was some way to take a poll on the matter, I could prove it, but I don't feel like doing such a thing.

Does this mean you'll ever end up together? Probably not. I mean, most people end up as friends for a reason. (The most prevalent one being that you don't ask a person out because you're pretty sure that they'll say no, so you settle for friendship.) Of my current friends, I know of one relationship that arose out of the pair being long-term friends first.

Now, to segue randomly to the movie Valentine's Day, I am a bit annoyed that they're defiling my birthday - my 26th, for the record - with what essentially seems to be a movie of romance vignettes featuring big name stars. That is the impression I got from the trailer and overloaded cast, and it is a sentiment shared by Ebert and Dana Stevens of Slate.com. In fact, a quote from Stevens' friend in her review - "Fine, mush your boring faces altogether already." - reminds me of something my friend and frequent blog commenter Danielle would say.

So really, if you're looking for a Steve-approved movie for Valentine's Day, don't see Valentine's Day. Just stick to my favorite romantic comedy ever: Say Anything.



Picture from this blog.

Revealing more stuff, and blog stuff.

So, I've joined another Internet fad. If you ever had the burning desire to ask me a private question, then you can do so on my Formspring account, accessible here. Thanks to Maggie and Kerri D. and others for getting accounts, which spurred me into getting my own.

Feel free to ask me just about anything - It doesn't mean that I'll answer it. I'm still getting troll comments from time to time, so while I'd like to take off the comment moderation, that moves isn't forthcoming. Sorry folks. I will say that I have accepted just about every comment that I've gotten in the past couple weeks, so if you didn't see yours posted for some reason, feel free to e-mail me about it - sgre6768@gmail.com. I'm guessing it might have gotten eaten by a spam filter, or something.

The lolcat picture comes from the awesome i can has cheeseburger?

Year in review via Internet meme

This obscure comic is one of the top
results for Year In Review. Sorry!

Whenever I've done a sort of "year in review" piece in the past, whether it be for my college newspaper or my old personal journal or something that someone actually paid me for, I always seem to miss a couple of relevant details. Also in the past, I've somewhat resisted Internet memes.

I smell a combination!

Using a note from Facebook that one of my friends filled out, here is my official "Year in Review" post. I could have done this last night, but I was holding out in case something really cool happened that I could write about. Instead, it snowed most of the day, I felt sick to my stomach and I stayed home on New Year's Eve. Outside of that though, things were swell!

And in case you're sick of reading this review crap, since everyone seems to be doing it in the blogsphere... Well, I can't really offer any relief. I'll be reviewing my favorite songs from 2009 for Sunday, and Saturday will be a Tag Team blog with Bob and Kristin featuring the football picks for Sunday. I'm guessing Monday or Tuesday will be when I launch into my piece about Limp Bizkit. Without any further adieu...

-----

The Year In Review

1. What did you do this year that you've never done before?

Worked as a substitute teacher and collected unemployment! On the latter, it is strangely seductive. I basically stayed at home, sent out five to 10 job applications a week, played video games and collected a check. It was a weird experience. The first few weeks were a strange sort of relief - I had worked from my college graduation in May 2007 to September 2008 with a single scheduled day off, so it was nice to have a vacation of sorts.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't make any, therefore, I don't keep any.

3. Any new births this year?

Um, my good friend Becca's sister had a baby. Outside of that, nobody springs to mind.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Nope!

5. What countries did you visit this year?

Just the United States. I've only been to Canada, and nowhere overseas, which is kind of disappointing.

6. What would you like to have in the next year that you lacked this year?

Stealing my friend's answer - A stable job. There is so much uncertainty in the journalism industry, and while I'm in a good situation now, it's not one that could support me for, say, the next 40 years.

7. What date from this year will remain etched upon your memory - and why?

Hm, what a good question, Barbara Walters-meme! This is a bit of a sad answer, but June 25, the day Michael Jackson died. As I've previously stated, I'm not the biggest Jackson fan; he was obviously screwed up. (Oddly enough, I also posted about him less than two weeks before his death.) I don't really care so much about his bizarre behavior as much as I care about the screwed-up life he probably exposed his kids to, and that's overlooking the molestation canard that hangs over his head. Still, his death was such a bizarre, media-hyped thing that it sticks out to me as the biggest event of 2009, similar to past things like the O.J. Simpson verdict.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Getting a full-part-time job. It wasn't exactly a banner year for me in the achievement category. I would also put this blog in as a subhead, since I have for years wanted to have a sort of "area" to put writing that might somehow eventually make a profit, someway. (For those curious, my tally is up to $5.37. Woohoo! If you want to help, feel free to click an ad every once in a while.)

9. What was your biggest failure of the year?

Going for about six months without a full-time job. Eech. I'm also still living at my parent's house, which would be somewhat depressing if half my friends weren't also still living with their parents. I did read Strapped, a good book about the wealth gap between new college graduates and older ones, which made me feel better about my current situation. Well, a little bit.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nothing serious. Just some conjunctivitis and stomach bugs here and there.

11. What was the best thing you bought this year?

A Nintendo Wii! I have also, sadly, been indoctrinated into the Guitar Hero and Rock Band cults. A little bit after everyone else, but hey, no one is perfect.

12. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Lindsay Lohan. My admiration for Lohan is well-chronicled in my past posts and images postings of her. Unfortunately, Mean Girls seems to be her peak, both in terms of looks and artistic value, which is depressing because she was 18 at that point. I would prefer to remember that smart, attractive Lohan than the coked-up hazbeen she has become. Who would have thought that Paris Hilton would hold up better than Lohan? Now she's doing photo sheets and smoking and just looking openly strung-out in them. She's 23 now, and it would surprise me if she made it to 30.

13. Where did most of your money go this year?

Sadly, toward my credit card bill. Living in Warren for a year really sapped my finances, forcing me to rely on my card, and my apartment wasn't even nice. Since not everyone is familiar with this story, when I lived in Warren my apartment got hit by a tractor trailer full of mulch. It cracked the foundation, and I was forced out for a week... and they wouldn't let me break out of the lease! They never fixed the crack in the foundation, and although they refunded my rent for two weeks, I wasn't really comfortable living in an apartment with a cracked foundation. They also didn't give me back my full deposit when I moved out in July - They said the stove was broken, and didn't believe me when I attributed it to the GOD DAMN TRUCK HITTING THE APARTMENT. Sigh.

14. What did you get really, really, really excited about this year?

I got the opportunity to be a Rhode Island and Providence College basketball beat reporter for a while, which was a lot of fun. There is something different and neat about being able to watch games from press row. I'm doing it more part-time now, which includes this Saturday when the Rams host Oklahoma State. It should be one hell of a game, and I'll be watching it from court-side, essentially.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

- happier or sadder? Happier, because my employment situation is a little bit better. I have a steady job, as opposed to substitute teaching, which completely vanishes for several weeks and months a year.

- richer or poorer? About the same. Slightly richer, if I had to chose.

- thinner or fatter? Thinner, by about 15 pounds! Nobody can ever tell though, because I look the same heavy or at a "normal" weight. My goal this coming year is to lose another 15, which would put me around 165. That was my weight for most of high school, which I think would be a good goal for me to shoot for.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Basketball. I still haven't been able to find an option near me besides the YMCA, and that would be an investment of a couple hundred bucks. I'm not sure if I have enough free time anymore to use the membership well, especially since I can play outside regularly from late April, early May to mid-September. For a while, I was playing at an open gym night for guys 30+, but the town put a stop to that, unfortunately.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Fast food. Unfortunately, when you work bizarre hours like I do, you eat a lot of junky fast food, and it hits both the waistline and the wallet. I've been better in recent months with this. Generally, I try to steer toward Panera or Subway now, as opposed to one of the unholy trinity of Wendy's, Burger King and McDonald's. Once or twice a week is fine; I'm just trying to avoid going six or seven times a week, like I did at certain points. ugh.

20. How did you spend the holidays?

Uh, quite blandly. As I mentioned, I was sick this New Year's Eve. Last year, I don't even remember what I did... I'm guessing I was over Shaun's old house. I remember that I didn't spill wine on someone's white dress for New Year's, which was good of me. My birthday is Valentine's Day, and I went out a few days after it. Fourth of July, I had to work, and then went to a party that weekend, I believe. Same with a day-after-Thanksgiving bash.

21. Did you fall in love this year?

Nope! There is always next year, though.

22. How many one-night stands did you have this year?

None.


23. What was your favorite TV program for the year?

Oh my goodness, that would be like choosing a favorite child! Well, if we're going with completely new shows, then I'd have to pick Glee. For old show that I was just exposed to, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia narrowly edges Lost. Why is that, since I've written five posts on Lost? I just find Always Sunny to be a better re-watch show. I've seen every episode of Lost, and I've only had the urge to re-watch a few of them. It could just be the nature of drama vs. comedy, though. I've always found comedies to have more replay value.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Not really. "Hate" is such a strong word.

25. What was the best book you read this year?

What a tough question. To be stereotypical, I really enjoyed The Book of Basketball by Bill Simmons, although it's less stereotypical than you would think. I'm a hardcore NBA fan, even more than the college game, which seems to be a dirty thing to admit to now. While Simmons' book isn't the groundbreaking work of Loose Balls by Terry Pluto, it's still a great tome on the NBA.

26. What was your favorite film of the year?

Inglorious Basterds. It's one of the few I saw in theaters, but there weren't many others that I really felt compelled to see. The Hangover would be a close second; definitely hilarious and raunchy, but it felt more formulaic. I'm definitely a Tarantino mark, and I've loved pretty much everything he has ever done.

27. How would you describe your personal fashion concept this year?

What is this "fashion" ye speak of?

28. Whom did you miss this year?

George Carlin.

29. Who was the best new person you met this year?

There aren't really a ton of options for this one, which is somewhat sad. I will say Becca's friend Julie, who played trivia with us every other week for the past year. Her sort of dry humor was a good complement to mine, which is more spastic at times. I'll also put my friend Natalie, even though I kind of knew her from the past (apparently). She edges out Amanda Meyer, who I also knew back in the day, although not nearly as well. However, I knew Amanda a lot better, hence the distinction. (I threw a book at Amanda, whereas I just didn't realize that I once Natalie.)

30. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned for this year.

That 30 questions is a lot to answer, and along with picking 13 to 16 football games per week, maybe I should be a bit less ambitious next year.

Happy freakin' New Year!

I didn't do a normal entry today, because if Christmas was any indication, nobody would be around to read it anyway. So instead, just take this placeholder entry as an indication that, no, I haven't forgotten about you. Hopefully, you had a great end to 2009, and here is hoping that your 2010 is just as great!

I'll have the typical "what I did last year" post up later today, Friday. And, in case you forgot or didn't realize - Almost all of my posts are scheduled, so I'm not actually posting this at midnight. Sorry to disappoint! I'm either out, or working, or nursing a sore tummy in my bed. ugh.

The cartoon comes from this nifty little site, which I am now following, because it's great.

On Nirvana, rage, Rage and Lost

Appropriately enough, considering my current Jack Shepard beard, I found myself driving home the other day while listening to Nirvana's “Scentless Apprentice,” similar to how Jack is driving in a season finale of Lost. Well, minus the being loaded on booze and Oxycontin part.

You might note that this is not normally a tune you hear on the radio, and if you've been in my car or seen the interior of my lovely white 1998 Corolla, you might note that I only have a tape deck. This is correct – One of the few tapes I have and have kept is Nirvana's From The Muddy Banks of the Wishkah.

This was released about two years after Cobain's death, and it isn't considered one of the band's stronger works. It is an odd mismash of live performances, and included tracks from Bleach to In Utero. While it is not as artistically strong as Nevermind or In Utero, as emotionally raw as Unplugged in New York or as rough and scratchy as Bleach, it is a nice sort of sampler platter of everything Nirvana has to offer. It is also the only "official" live, non-acoustic album they have, excluding the "new" Live at Reading, which was just released in November.

While I was re-listening to the album, I was struck by how aggressive and emotional Nirvana still sounds, while still having an ounce of harmony. In recent years, there has been a bit of a backlash against them for not being refined musicians. This kind of obscures the fact that Nirvana was never really about musicianship – It was all about aggression and emotion.

I think this is why they still hold up more to me than, say, Rage Against The Machine. In a previous post, I talked about how Nirvana wasn't really a band of my generation, and about how most of my friends didn't listen to Nirvana. I know this because I loved Nirvana, and outside of my friend Eric, my friends didn't. By this time, people had moved on to the far past (The Clash, The Pixies), the fringe (Fugazi, obscure local punk and hardcore bands that no longer exist), the classics (Skynard, Zeppelin, The Band) and the more alternative mainstream (Oasis). I was 7 when "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and Nevermind came out and 10 when Cobain died.

I loved Nirvana, and still do, because it personally resonates with me. I was a bit of a surly kid as I graduated from middle to high school, which my grades reflect – I stopped caring a lot, and stopped doing a lot of classwork. I was lucky in the sense that I'm sharp enough to still do well on or pass tests despite not studying. I straightened up in college, finishing it with a 3.2 GPA, but I'd estimate my high school GPA as about a full-point lower, in the low-2s. I never really dressed the punk part, although I might have made an inadvertent attempt because we were too poor at times for brand new clothes each school year.

I never got that "Nirvana" feeling from a kind-of-similar band, Rage Against The Machine. Both were about alienation, but Rage's political activism turned me off a bit. I honestly did not give an S about most of their causes; I just cared about the music. Nirvana didn't require thinking - It required yelling and screaming along. There is something cathartic about that.

Rage still had some great songs that I liked, primarily almost all of Evil Empire. That's still an album I love. However, I'd rather listen to any of the major Nirvana releases over it. Cobain was howling about pain on an individual level, which always strikes me as more personal than Rage's societal list of grievances.

Oh, and just wait for my future post, teasingly titled: The world's last Limp Bizkit fan.

The oddness of saying hello

I've lately run into the issue of not knowing whether or not I should acknowledge that I know someone. If that sounds complicated, I'm sorry, because it kind of is in my mind as well.

Let me provide some background information - I'm pretty good at remembering names and faces. In fact, it's only happened about three times in my entire life that I've met someone and they've said something to the effect of, "Oh we've already met." If I actually shake hands with someone and introduce myself, there is a 99.9 percent chance I will remember them at a future date. Heck, I normally remember even casual stuff like former college and high school classmates.

Therefore, I'm at loss at what to do at the local Taco Bell. See, there are at least two kids I went to high school with who work there, but I'm always reluctant to acknowledge this fact. We're all now 25, so I imagine this isn't where they hoped to be; I felt similar shame when I was laid off this past year and when I worked at Dunkin' Donuts when I was 23. Also, I wasn't really friends with either one in high school - One I never talked to, and one I knew better in elementary school.

Because of this, I'm reluctant to be all like, "Hey we both went to Chariho! How is life?" Since they are the ones working, I've always thought that if they wanted to bring this fact up, they would. They both always do the sort of double-take of recognition when they see me, so I assume they know we all went there. Also, I don't think high school was a super fun time for them, so I wouldn't really want to be the one to initiate that conversation.

Dear Miss Manners, what is the proper etiquette in this situation? Also, the picture of her was taken from this site.

iTunes Running Diary – Monday, September 21 – Ben Folds

This week's artist.

I don't have a ton of time today, so I thought I'd keep this entry somewhat simple for myself: I will be sticking to the music of Mr. Ben Folds today, because he is awesome. He is like a straight Elton John, and although this alone doesn't make him better, I do enjoy his music quite a bit more. Putting his songs on shuffle and letting them rip:

- "Emaline (Live)" is probably my favorite "slow" Ben Folds song, especially this version from his live album. The piano is especially tranquil and matches his voice well, and the lyrics are clear and crisp despite their longing nature. This clarity is something I've always liked about Ben's songs. (Yes, him and I are on a first-name basis.) Even if the song's meaning has some ambiguity - it seems to me like a failed past relationship, like a lot of his songs - you can at least hear most of the lyrics and sing along if you wish.

I listened to this song a lot when I was breaking up with someone; relax, it's not any of you reading this. Ben's music in general is pretty swell for that task, actually.

- "One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces" is the first track off of Whatever And Ever Amen, and it strikes the perfect note for the rest of the album. It is frantic, energetic and wild, between Ben's lyrics and piano and the rest of the band. It is a nice appetizer for what is to come.

The song always reminds me of driving frantically to and from high school. Back in the day, all of Whatever And Ever Amen was in heavy rotation on a CDR I had, along with a couple songs from the follow-up album, The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner.

- "Rockin' The Suburbs" from the album of the same name gets a bit too much flack to me. So what, he's not playing the piano. It's still a great pop / rock / alternative song! I'd much rather listen to "Rockin' The Suburbs" than a lot of what is out on the radio today. It's not traditional Ben Folds, no, but the experimentation is close enough to his previous work that I enjoy it. It is similar situation to me as to when The Beastie Boys actually play instruments as opposed to just rap over a soundtrack.

Recycling My Past: Kiss vs. Jewel

This is exactly what it looks like.

I originally wrote this in April 2007, in an attempt to set a record for the longest column ever printed in URI's campus newspaper, the Cigar. Although there was no real way for me to check, I'm pretty sure I did, since the piece was 3,001 words. If you want to punish yourself, you can read it here. This entry is a combination of that piece with some added detail.

I'm going to tell another story about things my friends and I did in the past. Back when I was a freshman in 2002, my friend Pat was invited to a party his cousin Jen was having at her house in Newport. She went to Salve Regina, and Pat brought me along, and our two other friends, Eric and Jeff.

For some reason, even though most of us had cars, we took our friend Chris' car. I don't know why we did this, since our friend Jeff couldn't really drive stick that well, and he was driving. We also got kind of lost on the way there. Three of us were from South County, and one was from Vermont, so really, you can't fault us for not knowing Newport, it being a whole 30 minutes away from where we grew up.

I'm regrouping though: This was the first "college party" that most of us had been to, so we played it cool for the most part. You know, we had a few beers, played some Taboo, didn't get too Wild and Crazy Kids. (Yeah, that's right, I just used that TV show name as an adjective, want to fight about it?)

As the party started to break up, Pat and Eric got into an argument with Jen's boyfriend, Ian, with Jen's friends Betsy, Kate and Erica egging them on. The argument was about who was better, Kiss or Jewel.

Reflecting back upon the argument, it is now obvious to me that it is something we have all pondered in our short time on this Earth. Keep in mind, this was before Jewel went bat-S crazy and tried to become a pop diva, and also before Gene Simmons started hosting a reality TV show that revealed he was a kind-of normal dad.

As Pat and Eric came up with reasons why Jewel was better, Ian came up with what he considered the ultimate counter to their arguments. "You can be buried in a Kiss coffin, does Jewel have coffins?"

Side note: Kiss no longer sells coffins, unfortunately. The band sold the Kiss Kasket from 2001 to 2006 for low, low price of $4,700. On the plus side, the band did autograph it before shipping out a unit.

Once Ian brought up the coffin issue, the argument slowly petered out, although it is still hotly debated to this day. For what it's worth, while I was intentionally on the side of Jewel, I have become a bigger Kiss fan as time goes on. Jewel really only had that one stellar album, which had come out around the time of this argument, whereas Kiss has an entire catalog of different music that is still worth listening to. Their greatest hits and singles collection CDs has a whole bunch of music you don't even realize is theirs.

After that, we left the party, and an unnamed member of our crew demanded that we stop at Newport Jai Alai (back when it still had jai alai) to pee in some shrubs. We concluded the night with some grub from IHOP, which was utterly fantastic at 2 a.m.

Inexplicable Movie Review / Rant: Transformers 2

This is probably why I should go to bed earlier. Taken from a rant I was giving to another friend around 2:30 a.m. EST about Transformers 2. I really could go on for about 2,000 words about how mind-splitting bad and inconsistent that movie is, but instead, I'll just give you this part.

I edited my friend out for privacy concerns. What got me started on this? Well, at the end of Good Will Hunting, he decides to follow his dreams of love as opposed to being super successful, or whatever. Rant follows:

ChemBros15: Aw.
ChemBros15: It's like the opposite of Transformers 2.
ChemBros15: See, in Transformers 2...
ChemBros15: In the first one, I guess he SAVES THE WORLD. And he has a super hot girlfriend.
ChemBros15: But yet
ChemBros15: For some reason
ChemBros15: In the second one, he HAS to attend a college really far away.
ChemBros15: HE JUST HAS TO!
ChemBros15: Because, you know, when you save the freakin' world, and you have a super hot girlfriend, you aren't satisfied enough by that.
ChemBros15: You just NEED to get that degree in chemistry.
ChemBros15: And there are no state schools you could go to.
ChemBros15: So that you could keep banging your supermodel GF.
ChemBros15: OH AND ALSO
ChemBros15: You have a car that can turn into a robot.
ChemBros15: And vice versa.
ChemBros15: AND YOU CHOOSE A SCHOOL THAT DOESN'T LET FRESHMEN HAVE CARS.
ChemBros15: Suffice to say, I did not enjoy the plot of Transformers 2, except that it was so bad it was great.
ChemBros15: It did not make sense on any level, in the slightest.
ChemBros15: In fact, to paraphrase Billy Madison, at no point in its rambling, incoherent 90 minutes, did it approximate anything remotely resembling a coherent plot. We are all stupider for having seen it, and may God have mercy on our souls.
ChemBros15: And also, I'm posting all of this to the blog.
ChemBros15: It can be a special treat for tomorrow morning, because I don't feel like expanding more on what I said.
ChemBros15: OH BUT WAIT.
ChemBros15: Okay.
ChemBros15: Just one more thing.
ChemBros15: There is a Transformer, one of the evil ones, that can turn into a human.
ChemBros15: And it turns into a hot chick that goes psycho on Shia LePussy.
ChemBros15: Yet it still can't manage to kill him or download his brain or anything!

I'm not even the world's biggest Megan Fox fan - Every interview and even photo of her just screams, "Fucking nuts!", to me, which is unappealing for someone as prudish as I am. But if I was 18 again (hey, what an original idea for a movie!), you bet your sweet ass I would not be moving 10 minutes away from Megan Fox, nevermind across the god damn country.

Talking fantasy football

[Left] Listen, I'm not going to be ashamed about it: I like Brady's old lady and baby-momma better than his new old lady.

So, I spent about three hours at a fantasy football draft earlier tonight, but the sad thing is that I'm not much of a fantasy anything player. My highest finish in the 10 seasons or so that I've played in various sports was third, and that was when I was still in high school and had a lot more time to devote to it. In the three years I've been drafting a fantasy football team with my buddy Rich, we have never made the playoffs, which requires finishing in the top four or top six (I don't even remember) of a 12-team league.

Keeping that in mind, here are the picks I made, to the best of my recollection. We had the second pick in the odd rounds, and the 11th pick in the even rounds, snake drafting. Our players so far:

1) Tom Brady, QB, Patriots
2) Ronnie Brown, RB, Dolphins
3) Reggie Wayne, WR, Colts
4) Knowshon Moreno, RB, Broncos
5) Wayne Bowe, WR, Chiefs
6) Big Ben, QB, Steelers
7) Felix Jones, RB, Cowboys
8) Mendenhall, RB, Steelers
9) Domenick Hixon, WR, Giants
10) Nate Burleson, WR, Seahawks
11) James Harrison, RB, Browns
12) Vincante Schainaoce (whatever), TE, Vikings
13) David Gerrard, QB, Jaguars
14) Chargers Defense
15) Jarious Norwood, RB, Falcons
16) Olindo Mare, K, Seahawks

Since Brady already has a stressed shoulder, I hedged our bets by also picking up Big Ben and Gerrard, who I thought were good values where I picked them up. I thought our league had some surprising picks at QB; Eli Manning went before Gerrard, for example, and Matt Ryan went in the third round.

I tried to go heavy on the RBs this year, since it was a constant weakness for us last year. Frank Gore almost got to us in the second round, and I was annoyed when he didn't. The Moreno pick might be a little high, but the Broncos always seem to have a 1,000 yard rusher, and I have enough strong alternatives to cover it up. I especially like the Norwood pick, since I'm a staunch believer that the Curse of 370 is real, and that Turner isn't going to be the guy to buck that trend.

I reluctantly picked Brady at #2 because none of the other options really caught my eye. Brees vs. Brady is a wash to me, and since my co-owner is a big Patriots fan, why not go with the hometown guy? The top-rated running back on my board was Maurice Jones-Drew, but I've owned him before, and he can be so frustrating. Not always healthy, a consistent 20 points for three weeks then nothing for two, etc. LDT and Turner scared me because of injury concerns. Adrian Peterson was the first pick off the board. And no way was I going WR with the #2 pick in the draft.

The weather and car crashes

[Left] Whatever happened to these two wild and crazy guys?

Because it is so overcast and rainy here today, I thought I'd share a personal story or two about how weather has F'ed me over in the past. About a year ago, I went through the worst month of my life, which saw me get dumped, get laid off and be forced to move back in with my parents, but it all started with a car crash.

It was during a torrential rainstorm, and while I was driving on Route 95 North, on my way to the aforementioned ex-girlfriend's place. Just as I got past the Route 4 split, my brakes gave out, and I skidded off the road and into a tree.

Luckily for me, I was driving below the speed limit, and there was also a thicket of shrubs that slowed me down considerably before I hit the tree. As I was about to hit the tree, I closed my eyes and thought, "Wow, this is going to hurt," but shockingly, my face just barely hit the deploying airbag. I didn't lose consciousness at all, and even the next day, I wasn't shore at all. I was really, really lucky from a health standpoint.

Unfortunately, I couldn't say the same thing about my car, an awesome 2002 forest green Chevy Prism. There was an angry gap right in the middle, and the windshield was completely shattered and caved-in on the passenger's side; the police said I was lucky that nobody was in the car with me. The car had to be junked and I had to file an insurance claim, which sucked, because what I got - $5,000 - was worth far less than what I could have sold the car for - around $8,000.

The other weather and driving-related incident I've had is far less spectacular. I forget the circumstances, but for some reason I was driving south on Route 1 toward Westerly in January of this year. It must have been for an important reason, because it was late at night and there was practically nobody else on the roads, and they hadn't even been plowed yet.

That night, I learned why it is such a bitch to drive on an unplowed road. About half a mile from the McDonald's, my car went into a spin, and flipped around 180 degrees, so that I was pointed the wrong way.

For some reason, the only thought in my head was, "I hope someone doesn't find me like this." The thing was, I had stayed on the road the entire time, so it was more of an embarrassing thing as opposed to something dangerous. My car was still running, so I very, very gently drove forward and looped around, so that I was the correct way on the road again. I was a bit rattled, so I pulled into McDonald's and got something to eat and read a book for about half an hour, which gave the plows time to work.

Beeeeeeepppp......

Sorry for the interruption in posting, but because of a news emergency, I didn't get a chance to post tonight's entry. Please tune in for your regularly scheduled blog, tomorrow at 7 p.m. EST. The management apologizes for the inconvenience.

On marriage, arrested development and Arrested Development

The best scene ever from Arrested Development.

So last night was my buddy Bob's wedding; you might remember him from previous blog tag teams here and here. (As an aside, his wonderful wife, Kristin, did write me something, a la how the Sports Gal writes a sidebar for his column. It'll be posted tomorrow morning.)

All-in-all, it was a great time. It was on the deck of Amalfi, a nice restaurant that has a deck overlooking Narragansett Beach and the Atlantic Ocean. After a 30-minute ceremony, there was a full night of open bar, free appetizers and a dinner, all three of which are great to me. I checked out shortly after the dancing started, because like almost every guy ever, that's not really my scene.

I suppose the only disheartening thing was that there weren't a ton of single people my age. Although I'm not having a quarter-life crisis or anything, I have noticed that there is a bit of a drop in the dating pool as I get older, and meanwhile, I feel like I'm in a state of arrested development.

For example, if I met someone tomorrow, and everything went great, and we never, ever had issues, we might get married in two years. I'd be 27, so kids would probably happen when I was 28, with me hitting my 40s as they hit their teens. That has always been my kind of ideal when I was growing up and imagining my future self.

Real-life kind of got in the way of all of that, regardless of what I acknowledge as the cause - age differences and life differences and my stupidity in past relationships, my layoff a year ago or my decision to pursue journalism as opposed to million dollar banking as a profession. While I'm generally happy right now and in a good situation (finally) when it comes to working, I still got a melancholy feeling watching other people dance and what not last night. It felt even odder when a pair of Bob's friends told me they have been to SEVEN weddings this summer!

Anyway, let me acknowledge the final part of this entry's title - Arrested Development. That's what I watched when I got home, and that did bring a smile to my face, which was awesome. For those of you curious about what episode I watched, it was the one where George Michael thinks he got a jetpack from his dad, and the culminating scene in the episode has him wrestling with Tobias, dressed as a mole, as they destroy a mini-village setup by Gob and Buster as a demo for Japanese businessmen. (That was a mouthful! p.s. That's something Tobias would say.)

Rent vs. Buy

Even though I don't really have much means, I'm struggling with an odd decision - Should I look into buying a house?

It seems like an odd question to ponder, since at best, I probably make $30,000 a year, and my guaranteed income is only about $18,000. But because the economy is historically bad, and the real estate market has collapsed, and there is a $7,500 tax credit for first-time homeowners, and because my credit rating is really good - I still pay everything on time - it might make more sense for me to buy a house as opposed to renting an apartment.

I looked into a $100,000, two-bedroom cottage, very preliminarily, online last night. Even if I put $0 down, the monthly payment on a 30-year mortgage for me would be about $423. Meanwhile, most one-bedroom apartments in the area go for about $525 to $650, more for two bedrooms. I would have to pay electricity, heat and cable, but I'd have to do that in an apartment as well, and I wouldn't be getting any equity into the place. There are things like upkeep to think about, but relying on landlords to fix problems in my past apartments has been as big of an issue as relying on myself to call someone anyway.

Thoughts? I know at least one person on here has bought a house recently, so I'm curious about getting some perspective on the whole situation.

Epiphany

Reading two authors recently has made me reassess a few things about my writing.

First, Chuck Klosterman. A few weeks back, a friend said my writing reminded her of him, and I finally got access to one his books from the library. It was eye-opening, akin to some guy finding out that The Beatles had been what he was doing for years previous. In particular, one of his books features an essay by him in which he just watched VH1 Classic for a day and commented on all the videos. I've been doing the same thing, although at a much more sophomoric and shitty level. (Also, Klosterman looks like a skinny Bruce Vilanch, and I bet he just loves that comparison.)

Still, it's to be expected, since Klosterman is a professional writer and all... But then again, aren't I a professional writer? After all, I get paid to write, whether it be sports coverage, video game reviews or news stories. It is an odd sort of feeling to realize, "Hey I kind of do what this guy does, maybe it's not so far-fetched that I could make a career out of writing." Klosterman also started out as a conventional journalist.

I guess the main thing preventing me from just launching headlong into writing a novel is the whole, you know, lack of money thing. It would be one thing if I thought I had some great story to sell to a publishing house for a nice advance that could support me. Instead, I'd rather muse about random aspects of pop culture; reviewing past journal entries reveals a hodgepodge of advanced baseball statistics, professional wrestling, personal posts about being a 17-year-old to 22-year-old trying to get laid, pop culture analysis and music cataloging.

I'm narcissistic enough to think that people would buy this from me if it was marketed to them, or if I had a proper forum to advertise it. My reign as entertainment editor at the Cigar and just general compliments on my writing have fed my hungry ego quite satisfactorily. (I blame all of you for this.) But, I don't really have enough of an audience to just quit looking for a 9-to-5 job and to just write all day long.

Now, moving on to the second author as a way to explain my biggest failing as a potential writer - interest level, motivation, commitment. In the past, I've tried things like a wrestling blog, a sports blog, only to get disinterested and move on to other projects.

Toby Young also has this struggle, which he writes about in The Sound Of No Hands Clapping, his book about trying to become a screenwriter in Hollywood. He mentions about how unless he is forced to do something, he will just dawdle and dawdle. I realize that in my case, this was part of the appeal of journalism - the deadline forced me to produce *something*. In Toby's case, the stability of his wife led him to stop boozing and to actually hold a steady job. I'm hoping being self-aware of my problems with just effing writing something will force me to write more.

To link to yet another thing, I think this Slate article details my problem pretty well. It's not that I'm ever really "blocked" and can't write, it's more that I will find 50 million other things to distract myself with before actually sitting down and spitting something out. The few times I've had consistency in volume is when I've forced myself to write (driving range days) or when I've been paid for it.