 |
| This is a completely normal aspect of gameplay - A circus performer flipping a DJ that's kind of dressed like a clown. |
... It would
pretty much be Dead or Alive 5. It’s
the latest game in my PS3 via Gamefly, and my goodness, is it odd and sexual
without being sexy.
This is a
critical distinction to make, that between sexual and sexy, and it’s why I said
it was the game of Michael Bay, as opposed to Hugh Heffner or Larry Flynt. To me, most of
Bay’s work kind of has a teenage boy feel to it, which is why he mostly casts
people like Megan Fox that are super hot on paper, but they usually have far
less sex appeal when you see them in action.
Likewise, as
you can probably judge from the screenshots of Dead or Alive 5 that I’ve sprinkled in here, the “credentials” of
the female fighters are not in doubt. Pretty much all of them are both scantily
clad AND have ridiculous proportions, with the possible exception of the two transplant
characters from the Virtual Fighter
series.
If you’d
like an example of the game in action, here is a trailer:
… So yeah, that’s
something that’s available on your video game system right this second. (Well, kind of. The trailer is actually from the Ultimate version of the game, which isn't released yet, but it's pretty much the same thing.)
The thing is
though, to get back to the Michael Bay comparison, the “sex appeal” is so
ridiculous that it’s actually non-existent. When everyone has a jiggling bosom,
well, it all just tends to blur together. And while you would think the subject
of sex and/or relationships might come up frequently during the game, it’s only
ever hinted at once in a 5 to 10-hour story mode, and it happens entirely in
slapstick fashion.
Speaking of
that story mode – It’s bat shit insane, even by odd Japanese story standards.
There is a fighting tournament going on called Dead or Alive, even though it’s
not to the death, and it’s seemingly unconnected to these ninjas who are going
around in search of ninja clones. But in true Keyser Soze fashion, it really is
all connected, except that you probably have to go to Wikipedia
to really understand everything, because the story mode leaves out a lot of
exposition.
By the way,
the game itself is solid, as far as fighters go. But all of the previously
mentioned elements make you feel silly playing it, at least if you’re older
than 15 or so. (However, if you are a 15-year-old and reading this, then you
will probably love this game, and also, Transformers.)
