Inexplicable Movie Review: Clue

I touched upon this briefly with my Chevy Chase entry yesterday, and the lovely Sadako from Dibbly Fresh offered some support for my opinion, but I'm a big fan of the movie Clue. Released in 1985 to little fanfare, a surprisingly good cast headlined by Christopher Lloyd (Professor Plum), Martin Mull (Colonel Mustard), Michael McKean (Mr. Green) and Tim Curry (the butler) spices up the proceedings.

The plot of the movie is based vaguely on the popular board game. All the characters and weapons from the game are in the movie, with the additions of a butler, a foxy maid, a cook, a cop, a singing telegram, and the characters' host, Mr. Body. Of course, the game is just a game, so the movie invents the idea that they're all being blackmailed for various misdeeds by Mr. Body.

These misdeeds range from the heinous to the silly and funny. Specifically, Mr. Green is being blackmailed because he's gay, which lends itself well to several 1980s style jokes. The plot itself is very contrived, as seemingly everybody is connected to everyone else like it's a god damn Agatha Christie novel, but the strong work of the actors keeps things fun.

However, a gimmick no doubt killed the film at the box office. See, the creators had the great idea of giving the film three different endings, with only one being the “real” ending. Therefore, to fully experience the film, you'd have to watch it three times. However, the only difference between the broadcasts was the five to 10 minute ending segment, meaning you'd pay three times for 15 to 30 minutes of extra content. (In 1985 dollars, this was about $12, but still, time is money!)

This “special feature” probably hurt the film's take, but it gives Clue an odd, campy sort of replay value. In VHS, DVD and television airings, all three endings are now tacked on at the end and differentiated by cue cards. I first saw the movie on Comedy Central around the turn of the century, when DVDs were still sort of rare. As a result, every time it came on I felt like I was watching something special and different. For similar reasons, I loved when Hulk Hogan broke the fourth wall in Gremlins 2 and shouted at them to resume the movie. (Also, Hulk Hogan is cool, brother!)

The Clue movie picture comes from this pretty good blog about... Only Good Movies. The Hulkster picture is from this blog reviewing American Gladiators.

Check It Out With Dr. Steven Brule, a.k.a. The Same Old S*** With Tim and Eric

My vision of the apocalypse.

I'm a pretty avid viewer of the Adult Swim block of programming on Comedy Central. (Heck, according to my own labeling, I've written about it a dozen - now 13 - times on this here blog.) However, one aspect of that programming that is severely played out to me would be all of the various Tim and Eric programming.

Of the shows they've done, the only one I liked a bit was Tom Goes To The Mayor. Between the odd animation and quirky situations, the show had its moments. Too bad some episodes were just horrifically depressing. Anything involving Tom's wife was just painful and awkward to watch.

However, "painful and awkward" is the best way to describe any Tim and Eric program after Tom Goes To The Mayor. Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! is meant to be horrifically bad, and thus funny, but I find it more horrifically bad, disgusting and tedious.

Part of the appeal of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and spoof movies like Airplane! and The Naked Gun is that the actors are never in on the joke. Given the whole format of TaEASGJ, I can never shake the feeling that they feel the whole show is an effing joke, and they're in on it. Meaning, Tim and Eric know the show is crap, and there is an effort to maximize the crap by them.

Where is the fun in that? Congo is a horrible movie and funny to me partly because people are actually trying. They are not meekly reading horrible lines - They are enthusiastically talking about using diamonds to power lasers that they will then use to kill gorillas who are guarding King Solomon's diamond mines. This adds a layer of enthusiasm that simply isn't present in most of the "this is so bad aren't we cool?" hipster stuff like TaEASGJ. Mr. Show had some great "this is so bad, it's good" moments, but they also balanced it legitimately decent song-and-dance numbers by Jack Black and funny spoofs of infomercial pitchmen.

Which brings me to Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule. Poor John C. Reilly - you've gone from hosting Saturday Night Live and hanging out to Will Ferrell, to crap like this? Come on, you're better than this. Shake N Bake!

The show is meant to spoof horrible local newscasts and their bad broadcast quality, but what actually happens is that Reilly has an awkward interview with people who aren't really in on the joke. So really, all that happens is the recreation of a horrible local newscast. The first two shows were on "Food" and "Relationships", and both were horrible, except for some non-Brule segments with cheesy local commercials.

But thankfully, both episodes were only 11 minutes each. Yay?

Grade: D+

Jonesing with Family Guy, gambling with Cleveland and Kanye

Sunday's Family Guy had an interesting feel to it, as Peter, Joe and Quagmire attempted to find the source of all the world's dirty jokes. I felt like I was watching a cross between one of the better Indiana Jones movies, because of the feel of adventure to it, and Stand By Me, because Peter was providing (funny) narration.

The episode also provided a bit of a compromise between the normal comedy of the previous week's episode, and the poignancy of two weeks ago. There were less "manatee jokes" and cutaways, although there was still plenty of random humor. (My favorite of which is represented by the picture to the right, when the gang somehow traces the origin of a dirty joke at one point to Bender from Futurama. p.s. New episodes of Futurama start in June on Comedy Central!)

Anyway, the gang traces the joke back to Virginia, and then eventually, to Cleveland. And by that, I mean the black dude who used to be on the show, not the city that will be losing Lebron James. (Okay, I'm sorry Cleveland - That was a low blow.) As I've done at the top of this entry, Peter bitterly complains that FOX ruined the surprise by featuring Cleveland in all of the promos for this week's episode.

Most of the show is vintage Family Guy - inappropriate jokes about the Vietnam War, the March of Dimes and stabbings. If you're usually a fan though, this is one of the season's better episodes, mostly because it isn't jerking around the perspective and timeline constantly with cuts to other action.

Grade: A-


Although it doesn't receive as much attention as Family Guy, either from myself or critics, I do follow The Cleveland Show consistently. While this week's episode wasn't anything super special, it did feature one really great visual - Tim, a usually mild bear that acts like Steve Martin's "wild and crazy guy" character from Saturday Night Live, went on a rampage when the riverboat casino the guys were out ran out of buffet food.

However, the bigger shock to me came from the previous week's episode. In that one, Cleveland Jr. tries to gain the heart of a classmate with the help of Rollo, only to find out that she already has a man, Kenny. As I was watching, I thought, "This Kenny sounds like a spot on clone of Kanye West..." Uh, whoops.

I was stunned that West voiced himself, because outside of a Saturday Night Live skit with Mike Myers, he doesn't seem to have much of a sense of humor about himself. He's also apparently already signed up for an episode in the second season, so I'm looking forward to that as well. His appearance on the show only added to my appreciation of an already-solid episode. While The Cleveland Show is still just a more wholesome, derivative version of Family Guy, it is worth the 30-minute investment each week.

Season grade: B+

The picture of Kanye in animated form is from this site.

Colbert can't hang with his buddy Muhammad :(

I guess everyone is now kind of immune to images of Muhammad being censored out. It happened again on Thursday's Colbert Report, as he was trying to show a picture of himself with his buddy Muhammad, resulting in the image to the right. There was then a quick editing cut to Colbert just sitting at his desk, which makes the small percentage of my brain devoted to conspiracies wonder if he had said more, and it got cut by Comedy Central.

Speaking of Comedy Central, they are still cowards. And hypocritical, given their stance on Jesus and their attitude toward other religions. I'm an atheist, so I don't have a dog in this fight, but Comedy Central is letting the extremists win when they decide to censor images of Muhammad because they're offensive as opposed to anything else. You know, like when they had Buddha doing lines of cocaine in episode "201".

And predictably, this has emboldened nutty fanatics of other religions to point out the hypocrisy. I imagine at some point, either they'll make a threat in an attempt to get something removed from an episode, or Parker and Stone will quit the show or bring it to another network. Their current contract runs through 2013, and it wouldn't surprise me if they abruptly quit after that, or tried to give Comedy Central a big "F U" finger on the way out.

Programming note: I'll have a late entry tonight, since Betty White is hosting Saturday Night Live. Woohoo! I'm hoping it's a good episode, and between her and Jay-Z, there is a lot of potential here.

The cliche of Towelie finally stale

When South Park is on, like it was last week, few shows are better. However, some episodes of the show just fall flat to me, and this week's with Towelie was definitely one of those. While the show still had some laughs, there was nothing special about it to elevate it past an average episode plucked from the show's back category.

As with most episodes, there were two simultaneously plots going on that kind of weaved together. First, shows like Intervention and Celebrity Rehab were mocked a bit, as Towelie was shown doing ridiculous things in order to get money to buy weed, crystal meth and other drugs. And second, there was a slight spoof of Warner Brothers, as all of the Looney Tunes were re-cast as retarded kids at a summer camp.

Unfortunately though, both plots felt stale to me. Every episode Towelie is in deals with his love of marijuana and how it interferes with his life, and this episode wasn't that different, except that he was now using hard drugs as well. (Note: Comedy Central has no problem with Towelie tying off his arm to do heroin, yet won't let South Park show Muhammad. Good times, good times!) On top of this, the whole addiction thing was tackled in the first episode of the season, with Tiger Woods.

As far as the second plot goes, the summer camp kids were on two different teams vying for a statue for the camp... which is suspiciously like "Up The Down Steroid" minus Cartman.

Although Jimmy and Timmy were the good guys this time, and the episode cribbed quite a bit from Looney Tunes while mixing in Intervention stills, but the whole thing just felt too close to previous episodes. Excluding the "200" and "201" episodes, this season of South Park has been a bit disappointing, and this episode doesn't buck the trend.

Grade: C-

Stephen Colbert, you magnificent bastard!

While The Daily Show remains brilliant, I've written about it kind of recently. Therefore, I instead offer a tip of my cap to Stephen Colbert, who has also been on a roll recently.

I've been watching regularly for the past two weeks, and I definitely think Colbert has recovered from a small swoon following the Winter Olympics. I found a lot of his Olympic coverage, outside of the curling, kind of boring, but hey, most everyone else liked it. I think Colbert is much sharper though when he is playing his character for "sharp" and ignorant criticism, as opposed to genuinely backing a cause.

Case in point - His withering critique this week of the bartering system proposed by some wacky GOP candidate in Nevada. If you didn't manage to catch the episode, the segment is on Comedy Central's website, and also on this website. It is worth checking out, immediately!

Grade: A+

TV Review: Everyone returns for incredible South Park

Last night's South Park? Simply incredible. It was the second part of a continuing story about all the people the boys on South Park had double-crossed and tricked getting revenge on the boys. The chief factions were the Celebrities, led by Tom Cruise and the Pope and others, and the Gingers, who Cartman had offended in the past.

The episode was South Park at its most self-referential best. For example, the middle of the episode features Kyle and Stan arguing with Cartman about what's more important - whether Muhammad can be shown in South Park (wink wink) or the true identity of Cartman's father.

Anyway, I won't spoil the big reveal at the end, but it's definitely worth the wait. The second part is the best episode of the season so far.

Grade: A+

TV Review: Dash Worthington is my new hero.

I really, really enjoy The Daily Show's Senior Supreme Court Correspondent, Dash Worthington. As Jon Stewart noted on Monday night's broadcast, he has been on the beat since 1936 for the show, so that's experience and reliability you can count on. Also, he makes up fantastic new words, like qussy - a combination of quitter and pussy, like retiring Supreme Court justice John Paul Stevens. Worthington notes that the Supreme Court appointment is "for life," so really, Stevens is being a quitter and a pussy for backing out early.

If you haven't been watching lately, well, The Daily Show and its brother show The Colbert Report have been on fire lately. (I was going to call Colbert the sister show, but I really don't think he would approve.) Both have had their A-game for the past month, especially The Daily Show. Stewart's take on the nuclear fiasco last week was hilarious, and characters like Worthington and Michael Steele as voiced by Wyatt Cenac.

Grade: A+ for The Daily Show
Grade: A for The Colbert Report

TV Review: The rest of Thursday night, and inexplicably, South Park

I'm lumping in South Park with the rest of my Thursday night reviewing, since I forgot to write about the episode until now. Don't like it? Well, start your own god damn blog. As Butters would say, don't be such a phony.

- Even though I aggressively started off this entry by mentioning South Park, and included a photo from it, I still enjoyed Community more, even if it wasn't as good as Parks and Recreation. But hey, that was so good that it deserved its own entry last night. Maybe Community can reclaim its belt with its performance this coming Thursday.

I mean, it's not like this week's episode sucked. While Pierce got the most obvious sight gag of the week (Community loves sight gags, and I love them for it), the best storyline involved Annie and Shirley each trying to prove that they were "harder" than people thought. They were both asserting their dominance as a "bad cop" kind of character, and thankfully, Abed was there to spur them and the bald dean on.

Unfortunately though, their whole plot was based upon a premise that a prank gone horribly wrong caused Brita to frame Jeff for the crime. This fell kind of flat for me. It was enjoyable, but the cop dynamic between Annie and Shirley and Abed was better, and Troy and Pierce were wasted after the initial comic wizardry scenes. This could have been another A or A+ episode, but it fell just a bit short because the Jeff storyline was surprisingly stale.

Grade: A-

- Likewise, I would have given South Park a higher grade if they could have just reigned in the vomit a little bit. Seriously, there is projectile vomiting going on for about a quarter of the appropriately-named "The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs."

The underlying message of the episode is actually great, as it is subtle criticism against all of the people who try to assign ulterior motives to books like The Catcher in the Rye, or say, programs like South Park, that simply aren't there. The boys learn from Mr. Garrison that The Catcher in the Rye, the next class reading project, has been chosen for the class because it has been banned in so many classrooms. Unfortunately though, they're disappointed by the lack of swear words.

As a result, they collaborate to write the most disgusting novel of all-time, which shares its title with the episode. However, when they think they're going to get blamed and punished by their parents for it, they say that Butters wrote it... only to find out that the adults love the book, because they think it is an allegory for their own personal beliefs.

If you exclude all of the vomit, a gross-out device that has been used in countless South Park episodes, then this is a strong episode. (Hey, I'm a mark for anything with Butters in it, especially if he's threatening to kill John Lennon and calling people phonies.) Unfortunately though, like "Smug Alert" and "Canceled", the episode veers a bit too much into the gross out shit (or vomit) to really appeal to me fully.

Grade: B+

- Unsurprisingly, The Office still brings up the rear, although this week's episode was much better than last week's effort. The focus has started to shift away from the boring corporate crap and staff drama to where the show made its money: burgeoning relationships and Michael's "aw shucks" buffoonery that makes you cringe while fighting the urge to give him a big hug. It also helps that Kevin was doing Kevin stuff throughout the episode, such as being very, very enthusiastic about seeing Pam, and making thrusting motions in the direction of Andy and Erin.

Tackling it in reverse order, Pam the New Mom is desperate to get out of the house, even if it means hanging out with the crew from the office. She even brings Michael a friend, so that they can do a bit of a double date. Things are going great until Michael finds out it is a date, at which point, of course, he freaks out and almost gets thrown out of the bar. The episode's bartender kind of reflects the viewer's general point of view, in my opinion; she goes from wanting to throw Michael out because of his boorish behavior to taking pity on him, and throwing her hat into the ring for his affection on the sly.

The episode's other plots mostly revolved around the various romantic tendrils of the office's tree. Very minor plots included Oscar hoping to hook up with a potentially gay guy in the warehouse, and the continuing oddness of Kelly and Ryan. Andy stupidly downplaying his relationship with Erin got plenty of screen time, which is a shame, because I've decided that she is the second secretly hottest character on NBC Thursday night, after Annie on Community and slightly ahead of April on Parks and Recreation. He makes amends at the end of the episode though, which is nice of him. Meanwhile, Dwight chooses Pam's freakishly tall bridesmaid to pursue instead of Angela.

Frankly, all of these storylines are retreads from past seasons of The Office - Michael has had a string of stupid love interests, Kelly and Ryan are a sick joke of a couple at this point, and Dwight is now the focal point of a love triangle as opposed to Angela. I guess the Erin and Andy stuff has a kind of fresh feel to it in terms of The Office plots, except that both are so freakin' weird that I can't imagine them having anything resembling a normal relationship. All of THAT being said though, I still enjoyed the show this week.

Grade: B

- And finally, I forgot to mention last week that the 10th episode of the season was the final one for Archer. It'll return at some point next year, which is a shame, since I was just getting used to its greatness. So, sorry, but I won't be able to include silly pictures from it in the foreseeable future.

As pennance, please except this picture of billionaire playboy Xander Crews from Frisky Dingo. See, back before they did Archer, the creators had a show on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim called Frisky Dingo. While it didn't hit quite the high notes that Archer does - the voice talent isn't quite as good, since you didn't have H. Jon Benjamin or Jessica Walter - the show did have its own sort of continuous anarchy that made it wonderful. You can buy the combined season one and two pack, 25 episodes in total, for about $37. The individual seasons go for about $10 each. If you like Archer, or anything like Space Ghost Coast to Coast or Sealab 2021, then you'd also love Frisky Dingo.

Frisky Dingo overall grade: A-
Archer first season grade: A+

Surveying the late night scene

Continuing from part one of my look at late night. Where does this leave everyone in the grand scheme of late night? Looking at everyone else, by network...

- At NBC, you have Leno, who I suppose will be his solid and unspectacular self. He is almost 60, so you have to think he has a decade left, at most, and that's giving him the benefit of the doubt that he will stay as relevant and "culturally hip" as he is now. Which is to say, a net zero, as opposed to someone derided for being tragically unhip. And, in light of his failure at 10 and the orchestration of Conan out of NBC, I think there is a great chance that Leno to 11:30 backfires completely on NBC.

One aspect of this whole equation that I think goes unreported is the strength of Conan at 12:30, which no doubt helped Leno maintain hit ratings during his last half hour. I actually like Jimmy Fallon at 12:30 - his show has some creative ideas, like the Wheel of Carpet Samples and his writing of "thank you" notes on Fridays. He also somehow got The Roots as his house band and uses them well, and he's also had some legitimate guests. However, he definitely doesn't have the cachet of Conan yet.

And although I don't wish any ill-will toward him, if something did suddenly have a problem with Leno, they have no clear in-house replacement. They would either 1) have to patch things up very, very nicely with Conan and pay him out the ass to come back or 2) pay someone else a ton of money to fill the void, who probably doesn't have any late night experience. Fallon simply isn't ready, so I think you might see an "established" name like Jerry Seinfeld or Steve Martin or Martin Short (to pluck some names out of the air) lured to NBC with an insane amount of money.

- At CBS, Letterman will probably be largely unchanged, although maybe more venomous toward Leno. He was the cranky old man in this whole drama, throwing stones at NBC and Leno from his perch atop the ratings at CBS. He seemed simultaneously pissed off at NBC, for doing the same thing to Conan as they did to him, and gleeful, for them wallowing in such misery.

If Leno has a problem with age and a sudden health deterioration, well, I guess CBS has the same problem with Letterman and a proper succession plan. They're in a kind of “strong” position if something catastrophic happens to him in the next couple of months, since Conan is a free agent and out on the market. But assuming that Conan does get snapped up by someone, then Craig Ferguson isn't a clear guy to step up into the 11:30 spot. To me, Ferguson follows more in the footsteps of past CBS 11:30 hosts like Tom Snyder and Craig Kilbourn - I liked both, but they have a niche appeal.

However, luckily for CBS, they have a natural promotion to make - Jon Stewart is just sitting there at Comedy Central at 11, ripe for the taking. Yes, Viacom technically no longer owns CBS, but they still have so many business dealings together that I think an ascension by Stewart after Letterman leaves is only natural. I also don't think that you'd have the bumpy issue of intellectual property if Stewart went from Comedy Central to CBS, and I think The Daily Show would transport pretty well to a major network, even if Stewart doesn't want to do a monologue. As is, it feels cramped at times with just 30 minutes, and adding another interview and/or a musical act each night would easily get you to an hour.

- At ABC, they seem pretty content with their current lineup of Nightline and Jimmy Kimmel Live. I love Jimmy Kimmel - I think he consistently does the best show, with weird, quirky bits like having his Uncle Frank and Security Guard Guillermo in skits, but his ratings have stayed pretty level after a slow start. Of the current Big Four late night hosts, I think he gets the best out of his interview segments, with a nod toward Colbert and Stewart on cable as being as his level.

Nightline is what it is: great counter programming to all of the late night yuk-yuks. Any time there is a major news event, its ratings swell. I'm sure it makes Kimmel's life more difficult, but the night as a whole is a critical success for ABC because of Nightline, and probably a commercial success as well. I don't think Kimmel or the rotating hosts of Nightline make anywhere near the salaries of Leno, Letterman and Conan. I also think there is little chance that Conan ends up at ABC, just because they'd have to essentially scrap two in-house programs that are average to above-average successes for them.

- Finally, I think Comedy Central deserves to be in this conversation, because The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are both siphoning off the younger viewers that would formerly watch Letterman and Leno. Part of this is because those two hosts are getting old, but the other aspect is the brilliance of Stewart and Colbert.

I previously mentioned that Stewart seems destined for CBS at some point, and I imagine that when that happens, Colbert moves up to 11. I'm still not sure what they used to replace Colbert at that point, though. As much as I've railed against Comedy Central for no longer doing original programming, a slew of their shows have just been bad - Carlos Mencia, The Chocolate News, that debate show with Lewis Black, etc. I think there best option is to either just have another Daily Show, with John Oliver or another correspondent as the new host, or to spin something off from The Colbert Report. People seem to respond well to that format at night, and presumably, their new show could be different enough from Stewart to still succeed.

The NBC fart logo is from here. Colbert is from here. Letterman's photo is on about 500 different sites as a stock image, and Kimmel and Affleck comes from some weird photo index site that I'm not going to link to.

The Updated Steve Greenwell TV Guide

I'm providing an update to my earlier TV guide, since I've added and remembered a couple shows, and some shows have been demoted. To use some sports terminology, which will infuriate Danielle Membrino, I'll give each show the designation of Majors, AAA, AA and released.

Majors means I watch it every week, AAA means I'm about to start watching, AA means I'm intrigued and considering getting into a show, and released means the show is dead to me now. I also bolded the best show of the respective night, if applicable, because I was bored.

Monday

- Heroes, NBC, released. I've officially thrown the towel in on Heroes; I simply don't think it can be saved. I mean, the other week they had Claire sharing a lesbian kiss with some girl! That isn't her. Knock that shit off, Heroes. Listen, I'm hip, but that was such an obvious ratings grab that I was disgusted. I stopped watching regularly after the first two episodes of this season, as I find the Weird Tattoo Guy not compelling in the slightest. They should have simply kept Sylar as the main villain. How many years have the X-Men fought against Magneto? That seemed to work out pretty well for them.

- WWE Monday Night Raw, USA, Majors. This isn't as "must see" as is used to be. Since switching to weekly celebrity guest hosts, the show has become a bit stale to me. Still, I'm hopeful that Kofi Kingston and Legacy can shake up the card a bit. Cena, HHH, HBK and Orton are all a bit overexposed to me right now.

- Monday Night Football, ESPN, Majors. I figured this deserved a separate mention from a below mention of football. This year, Jaws and Gruden work so well together that I'll often switch over from Raw, and stay switched over. Definitely a big improvement from their booths of the past few years.

Wednesday

- Dinner: Impossible, Food Network, Majors. I don't care how much Chef Robert plagarized on his resume, he is still lovely to me. I just wish this didn't overlap with Top Chef's night, since I generally prefer Top Chef.

- Glee, FOX, AAA. I've seen some episodes here and there, and I've enjoyed them, but I haven't immersed myself fully in the show. It is high in my queue, though.

- Lost, ABC, Majors. I'm still racing to catch up in time for the new episodes, but I'll probably still make it. All the other new shows that are out are affecting my time table a bit though, in addition to the stuff I have to do for my various works. However: I will be caught up by the time Lost resumes in January. I'm currently on episode 16 or 17 of the third season, so I'm more than halfway there as-is.

- Modern Family, ABC, AA. I haven't started watching this yet, and it's deep down my queue, but it could force its way up with all the rave reviews I keep hearing about it. More than one person has mentioned Arrested Development when trying to explain it to me, which is high praise. I also note that it has the vampy Sofia Vergara, who is from one of my favorite shows that got canceled, Knights of Prosperity.

- South Park, Comedy Central, Majors. Since not everyone here is a fan of Bill Simmons, but since some of you are fans of South Park, I really recommend that everyone check out his podcast with Trey Parker. It is actually broken off into two sections and more than an hour in length, but there is a lot of good stuff about how the show is created, what they find funny, and just general interesting background information on both of them. And p.s., South Park is awesome and hasn't lost its touch at all, as episodes this season have seen Butters as a pimp, the boys running a wrestling promotion and Michael "Mr. Jefferson" Jackson preventing a bunch of celebrities from getting out of Limbo.

- Top Chef, Bravo, Majors. I think this season has been a mini-Renaissance for the show, as there has been a good balance between the drama (the brothers hating on each other, the super bitchy old lady mom), the hot (that blonde oh la la!) and the quality, as the chefs can actually cook well.

Thursday

- Community, NBC, Majors. A couple of the season's middle episodes lagged, but the most recent one, in which Joel McHale talked Troy into playing football again, was really strong. While McHale is the star of the show, the ensemble itself is strong. And man, forget about Brita; the real gorgeous one on the program is Alison Brie [left]. She is quite, quite fetching, and there is nothing cheesy about her performance. (Oh yeah, I went there.) I think I would like Brita more if 1) her character wasn't so abrasive and 2) her hair didn't have that weird curl in it.

- Parks and Recreation, NBC, Majors. I was ready to give up on this show after seeing its second season premiere, but a friend convinced me to give it another shot. And man, it did not disappoint! While Amy's character is still a little too unbelievable for me to get fully behind, and the-girl-who-lost-to-Pam is still kind of boring, the rest of the cast is really strong. This includes Tom, Tom and Amy's boss, and the emo girl who is also strangely attractive. Kudos to Parks and Recreation for rebounding after a lackluster start.

- The Office, NBC, Majors. The cool new Internet meme is to complain about how much The Office stinks as compared to its past seasons. (At least this reasoning has replaced the "British Office is 700 times better!!!" talk that dominated hipster snob talk beforehand.)

- It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, FX, Majors. It all comes down to a few words: Milk steak. Jelly beans, raw. Full-on rapist.

Friday

- Psych, USA, Majors. It's currently on break for a while, unfortunately, but I finally caught up on episodes. Rachel Leigh Cook is still stunningly hot as Shawn's girlfriend, although this annoys me because it means he and Juliet will not be getting together in the immediate future, and she's even more dreamy.

- The Soup, E!, Majors. I never seem to be able to catch it on Fridays, even though I am home a lot. (I know, that is a sad statement about my life, as if all of the shows on this list didn't give myself away either.) I do always manage to catch a repeat at some point though. Thanks to E! for replaying it about 500 times in the following week!

Saturday

- Saturday Night Live, NBC, released. I'm shocked that it has come to this, as I've watched practically every episode for the past 10 years. That includes some of the most notoriously bad ones, like the Paris Hilton episode and the one where Lindsay Lohan seemed all coked out. However, for some reason, this season just FEELS so much worse. Maybe it's because I thought the show would be decent coming into the year, or because the Weekend Update show on Thursdays was funny, so I naturally thought the regular season would build on that. Regardless, SNL stinks right now, and this is coming from one of its biggest boosters of all-time.

Sunday

- NFL football, Majors. Pretty explanatory, I should think.

- Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Cartoon Network, Majors. Yes, this show is allegedly still on the air, so I'm including it. Unfortunately though, the only episode currently listed on the Adult Swim schedule is some sort of Christmas episode. I'm hoping they do more, since I'm the only non-stoner who loves ATHF.

- Family Guy, FOX, Majors. While the show isn't as good as its ultimate peak, which I thought was its third season, I still find it consistently funny, even if it does rely on "manatee" jokes, in the words of South Park. I've found this season better than last's, and they haven't even shown the Star Wars episode yet.

- The Cleveland Show, FOX, Majors. I already touched on this show in a previous post, so go there if you want my take, uh, again.

- The Mighty Boosh, Cartoon Network, AAA. Another show that I caught about 10 minutes of after a recommendation from a couple friends. It looks silly and funny though, so I'll do my best to catch up on episodes. And yeah, I realize that this is just an imported British show.

- Titan Maximum, Cartoon Network, AAA. See above, except that I haven't actually seen any of it yet.

- The Venture Bros., Cartoon Network, Majors. This is probably a bit of an upset as my favorite show of Sunday nights, over the more established cartoons, but hey, it deserves it. The first two episodes of the new season have been hilarious, and my only regret is that there are only about 11 episodes being released this year. Sigh! It is still great at savagely skewering old cartoon cliches, which is why I enjoy it so much.

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The photo of Alison Brie is from some ridiculous spam site, so I'm not going to dignify it with a link. The Venture Brothers photo is taken from here. The lesbian kiss picture is from here, which has a good and brief take on the debacle that is now Heroes. The Master Shake photo is from here. And the picture of the wonderful Charlie Day comes from this wonderful blog.

Dear Comedy Central, stop sucking

[Right] An image from Let's Bowl, the best dispute-settling bowling game ever broadcast on cable television.

Once upon a time, I remember when Comedy Central didn't suck. To be fair, they still do have some great shows. South Park, The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are all still awesome, and I am excited to check out more of Michael and Michael Have Issues, and Tosh.0.

But the rest of their shows and what they choose to show is severely lacking in originality or taste. For example, The Sarah Silverman Show varies wildly in quality; maybe I'm just tiring of her “I say offensive things!” schtick. There is still too much blue-collar comedy crap and iffy stand-up in general. I'll go months without seeing Mitch Hedburg or Zach Galifankis or Todd Barry.

However, there are two especially egregious things Comedy Central has indulged in lately – shitty movie selection and an inability to get creative with programming.

Speaking on the first point, I can do without Dane Cook's Employee of the Month being shown on weeknights. Employee of the Month is the type of dreck you convince yourself into renting from the local video store when you and your girlfriend want something on the background while you make out. Dane Cook is to college frat guys what Larry the Cable Guy is to rednecks. Whatever wit their acts originally possessed has been pimped out to relentless commercialism.

If you are Comedy Central, how are you not showing a bunch of classic, great comedies on loop? I'm not even talking about stuff like Duck Soup with Groucho Marx or Dr. Strangelove, which would be artsy and daring selections. I mean simple stuff like letting Caddyshack, Ghostbusters and Stripes slip to AMC, not showing This Is Spinal Tap and Best In Show and Waiting for Guffman, and letting VH1 and MTV show a bastardized version of Wayne's World. I just rattled off seven awesome comedies, and I can't remember seeing any of them on Comedy Central, and all of them are old enough that the viewing rights probably aren't that expensive to procure.

Lastly, I wish Comedy Central would take some more risks with what they do chose in terms of original programming. They have tried the talk show format about 50 million times, and unless it is The Daily Show or run by a former Daily Show staffer, it inevitably fails. If you blinked, you might have missed the shows hosted by David Alan Grier, D.L. Hughley, Adam Carolla, Lewis Black and Colin Quinn.

Back in the day, Comedy Central would at least attempt more original programming. An example would be Let's Bowl, a show that seemingly only I loved. It featured bowling matches between amateurs to settle petty disputes with snappy and snarky MXC-style commentary. It predated Dodgeball and MXC and Ninja Warrior, so I feel like it was a little ahead of its time.

Once upon a time, Comedy Central took a chance on a show that just had two robots and a human lost up in space commenting on shitty movies – It was called Mystery Science Theatre 3000. And another time, they greenlit a show with very mature elementary school students that cussed a lot – South Park. And another time, they let a guy who had a very popular cult movie about weed have his own show with almost no oversight – Chappelle's Show. These risks seemed to pay off quite a bit.