LOSTblogging: The final episode evar evar.

Note: Spoilers galore, obviously. I might add pictures to this later, but I obviously can't right just now. All times EST.

9 p.m. - We open up with a montage of slow music, and a pan between the characters in Bizarro LAX and on the Island itself. The show actually starts with an Oceanic delivery truck bringing Christian's coffin (Jack's dad) to the concert hall, while Kate watches on from a car. Desmond is orchestrating it all still. He and Kate have a little conversation about fate and destiny, and how about they're friends.

Flash to the Island. Jack explains that Jacob told him he had to protect Marcellus Wallace's briefcase in the middle of the island. The gang splits up - Sawyer goes to find Desmond in the well (we already know he escaped with someone's help), and Jack, Hurley and Kate will go toward the golden light. First commercial break.

9:10 p.m. - Back from commercial, we're in the Hummer in Bizarro LAX with Sayid and Hurley, as they pull up to a sleazy motel. And hey, it's Charlie, and he's all drunk and messed up. He refuses to come with Hurley willingly, so Hurley tranqs him and throws him in the back of the Hummer.

On the Island, Kate is asking Jack why he took the job as the Candidate. Their gross talk causes Hurley to have a funny line: "This would be so sweet if we weren't all about to die."

Over by the well, Sawyer is spying on FLocke, when Ben sneaks up on him and points a gun at him. Sawyer elbows Ben in the face, and escapes. FLocke lets him escape, because he mentions that he doesn't care if the Island is at the bottom of the ocean.

FLocke notes that he thought there was a dog by the well, and sure enough, Vincent is alive! He's hanging out with Rose and Bernard, and they've rescued Desmond from the well. Rose notes that they broke their rule - not getting involved - in order to rescue him. She asks him to leave once he's done eating, but it's too late, as FLocke and Ben have found Bernard in the woods. By threatening to torture them, FLocke blackmails Desmond into coming with him.

9:20 p.m. - Back from commercial. We stick on the Island - Desmond knows that FLocke is taking him to a place with a very bright light somehow. There is a bit of feedback, as Ben has a walkie-talkie in his pocket! And he's working with Miles somehow, who has found Richie Alpert, still alive. Richard is frantic even though he just woke up - He says they still have to blow up that plane.

In Bizarro LAX, Miles spies Sayid at the concert, and calls his detective buddy Sawyer, asking him to keep an eye on Sun. We then flash to the hospital bed, with Sun and Jin. The nurse is... Juliet! Aw, she actually takes care of babies in this world. Sun seeing her baby on the ultrasound kicks her memory back in, and Jin is soon with her, as he sees the baby too. Both of them burst into crying as it happens. And suddenly, both of them speak English again! (This is an oddly perplexing turn of events, since both Jin and Sun are dead on the Island!) Commercial break.

9:29 p.m. - The music amps up a bit on the Island, more of a traveling-tune, as Sawyer reunites with his people. Jack says it doesn't matter that FLocke has Desmond, since they're all headed to the rich, golden center anyway.

In Bizarro LAX, Locke insists on Jack calling him John, instead of Mr. Locke. It's a nice little scene between the two, given that they hate each other on the Island.

On the Island, Miles and Richard are staking out in a canoe toward the plane. They hit one body in the ocean with an oar, and then notice that Frank is bobbing along out there, barely alive! Woohoo! Frank asks what they're doing out there. Instead of suggesting that they blow up the plane, he suggests stealing the plane and using it themselves, since, well, he's a pilot! Clever, Frank. I'm for it since Frank and Miles are neat.

Finally, we have a face-to-face between Jack and FLocke on the Island. Kate tries to shoot FLocke a couple times, which of course doesn't work. FLocke expresses surprise that Jack is the choice, and in a clever nod to fans, he says, "You're kind of the obvious choice." Jack offers to go with FLocke to the gold light, and flat out tells FLocke that he's doing it so that he can kill him. (This has been the best seen of the episode by far, very tense yet funny.) Another commercial break.

9:38 p.m. - Jack and Juliet exchange pleasantries outside the exam room, which is a completely surreal scene. Yes, Jack Jr. is their baby. Yes, they're divorced. And as Juliet leaves with Jack Jr., Sawyer slides in.

Back to the Island. Jack doesn't really have a plan to kill FLocke, except that Desmond might be a weapon. Sawyer says, "That's a heck of a long con." Jack, FLocke and Desmond proceed to the golden light past the bamboo alone. Desmond hints that the golden light transports them to a place where they're all still alive, where Jack and he sat next to one another on the Oceanic flight. (Namely, that the golden light leads to Bizarro LAX.) All three of them descend into the golden light... And we hit another commercial.

9:45 p.m. - Note: Target has some LOST themed commercials that are pretty clever, such as someone freaking out because they can't entire the numbers into the hatch's computer. Good times, good times.

9:47 p.m. - In Bizarro LAX, Hurley and Sayid have a heart to heart about why they're there. Hurley says that deep down, he things Sayid is a good guy. They watch as someone is getting into a fight outside of a night club, and as a woman gets involved, Sayid goes to her rescue. Of course, it's... Shannon! And this awakens both of their memories. Boone is in on the plot, as he volunteered to get his ass beat.

On the Island, Ben and Miles are talking on the walky-talky. Miles is trying to get them all to come over to the plane, when Claire stumbles upon Miles, Frank and Richard. Richard talks her down from shooting all of them, but she refuses to leave the Island on the plane with them.

We flash back over to the golden waterfall. Jack and FLocke begin to lower Desmond down into the golden waterfall. FLocke tries to claim some of Locke's memories, which causes Jack to icily state, "You're not John Locke." They finish lowering Desmond into the golden pit, and peer over the edge as... we go to commercial again! Sigh!

9:58 p.m. - Back from the break, we're in line at the concert on Bizarro LAX. Juliet gets paged to go to the hospital, and she leaves Jack Jr. and Claire to their own devices. We flash to the backstage area, and Charlotte is rousing Charlie out of his slumber. This also leads to her meeting Daniel Farraday (Widmore). We flash to the dining room, and Claire is at a table with Kate, of course.

The band starts to play - Daniel backed up by Driveshat. Charlie gazes out into the audience, and locks eyes with Claire... who suddenly gets a contraction. She stumbles off a bit, while Desmond gets a bit of a wry look on his face.

Back on the Island, Desmond is at the bottom of the waterfall, and poking about some sort of golden pool with light radiating from it. He steps into it, which causes the water to freak out, and he yanks a plug from the middle of it, it seems. This causes the light to go out, which seems a bit ominous, but then lava and flames seem to rise up and out of it. Desmond screams out, "No!" And Flocke points to Jack and says, "It looks like you were wrong."

Jack then tackles FLocke outside of the cave, and... Locke bleeds! ("He's cut! The Russian is cut!") This gets a smirk from Jack. "Looks like you were wrong too..." FLocke manages to power himself out of Jack's grasp, and tries to run away, while Jack fights unconsciousness. Commercial break.

10:09 p.m. - Claire is still stumbling around backstage in Bizarro LAX, going into severe contractions. Kate comes to help her. Meanwhile, Desmond and Eloise have a cryptic conversation; he says that they'll be leaving. However, he won't be bringing Daniel with him.

And in a redux from past events, Kate is delivering Claire's baby and having her push, while Charlie fetches them some blankets. This causes Kate's memory to flash back in, and then Claire's as the baby is delivered, it seems. She cuddles with the newborn Aaron, while they all share a good cry. Charlie is back with the blankets, and as Claire grips his hand, his memory kicks back in. And aw, they kiss. And aw, Claire has her bay-bey back.

With them cuddling, Desmond comes to the backstage. He asks Kate if she understands now, and she nods, and asks, "So now what?"

We flash to the Island, where a severe earthquake is happening. A tree appears to fall on Ben, as he shoves Hurley out of the way. Jack wakes up, and instead of chasing after FLocke, he initially tries to see if Desmond is okay. Then, he chases after FLocke.

Meanwhile, Sawyer, Hurley and Kate tries to push the tree off of Ben. Miles checks in via radio - Frank is trying to weld the plane, in order to get it suitable enough to fly. The gang plans on stealing FLocke's boat to make it over there in time.

Another quick flash, and FLocke is overlooking Jacob's cave. Jack is back, and screams at him. FLocke draws his knife, and as the two are about to clash, we go to commercial. Damn!

10:22 p.m. - Thankfully, as we come back from commercial, Jack and FLocke are fighting on the cliff, which is falling into the ocean. They struggle for FLocke's knife, before FLocke finally gets it, stabbing Jack in the abs. But as FLocke is about to finish him off, cutting him in his neck (!!!), Kate is there and shoots him, killing him. FLocke's last words are that they're too late, and Jack kicks him off the edge of the cliff.

In Bizarro LAX, Jack is bleeding from the neck again, and Locke is waking up out of anesthesia already, and he whispers that it worked. And sure enough, he can wiggle his toes! And his memory starts to kick back in, as he looks at his wiggling toes. He tries to convince Jack that he doesn't have a son, which Jack doesn't believe. He tells the nurse to give Mr. Locke some medicine, and Locke says to him, "I hope someone does for you what you did for me."

10:31 p.m. - Back on the Island, the weather has clearly up completely, and Kate is consoling a bleeding Jack on the cliff. The earthquakes are still happening though, even though FLocke is dead.

Flash to Bizarro LAX, and Sawyer is talking to Sun and Jin. They both have their memory, and tease him about this, since he doesn't have his back yet.

Back on the Island, Frank has power to the ship, but the hydraulics are all messed up. Ben is also alive, and asks for the status report. Meanwhile, Jack is going to stay behind to try to reverse whatever Desmond did. He and Kate kiss, and say they love each other. They're splitting up, as Kate needs to get Claire on the plane. Hugo and Ben are staying behind with Jack.

10:41 p.m. - On the Island, Miles is trying to fix the plane. "I don't believe in a lot of things, but I do believe in duct tape." So witty! Sawyer walkies them and says they'll be sailing over, but rank says they need to leave ASAP, because of the Island's instability. Sawyer and Kate leap from the cliff, swimming toward the boat.

In Bizarro LAX, Sawyer and Jack share a moment, and then Juliet and him meet cute by the vending machine. He gets his memory back as she helps him get the candy from the machine, as does she, and they embrace in a really sweet scene. (LOST has had a lot of these "meet cutes" tonight, but this was the most tender so far, for some reason.) Commercial.

10:51 p.m. - Anddddd we're back in Bizarro LAX. Jack and Kate are meeting cute outside of the concert, which is over. (By the way, I've never been a big fan of Evageline Lilly, but she cleans up REAL nice in that black dress.) He seems to recognize her a bit, but not completely. She touches him, and some of his memories flood back, before he pulls away a bit. Kate asks Jack to come with her.

We flash to the Island. Hurley is helping Jack walk toward the gold waterfall, and Jack admits that he's going to die. He tries to convince Hurley that he's the one to protect the Island... while Ben glowers, sitting down on some rocks. Jack gets a dirty water bottle from Ben, and then has Hurley drink from it. Ben watches at this goes on, and doesn't try to totally eff things up, for some reason.

Over at the plane, Frank has gotten the engines fired up. Back at the golden well, Ben and Hurley are attempting to lower Jack down, but the earthquake ruins this plan a bit. He falls with a thud, but he's still alive. Jack goes to check on Desmond. Desmond says that his plan didn't work, because the light went out, and he thought he'd leave this place. Jack tells him he's done enough, and ties the rope to him. Desmond wants to know why it has to be Jack, and Jack tells him it's because Desmond has a wife and a son, and tells Desmond, "I'll see you in another live, brotha."

As the plane is trying to pull off from the Island, Kate desperately tries to convince Claire to come with them. She finally does, but it seems like Frank and the boys are about to leave on the plane... But they manage to jump in front before they can leave, and Frank stops the plane.

Back in the golden waterfall, which is now a lava pit, Jack manages to plug it up with the stone idol. However, it's not clear what effect, if any, it had.

Over to the plane again, Kate, Claire and Sawyer manage to get on it, and Frank tries to gun the engines for a takeoff as the ground cracks underneath them. He manages to get the nose up and the plane in the air JUST before he hits the tree line, and they're off! The surviving crew exchange glances of happiness.

We go back to the waterfall, with Jack slowly dying. The golden light is finally coming back on then, which causes him to cry in joy. Ben remarks, "He did it! The light's back on!" Ben and Hurley yell at him to hang on, and they pull up, to find... Desmond. Hurley screams, "Jack!!!" as they fade to commercial.

11:10 p.m. - Back to Bizarro LAX, Locke has taken a cab to the concert. Although the operation work, he still needs his chair apparently. He meets Ben outside, and says that most of them are inside. Ben apologizes for, you know, killing John. Locke forgives him, and asks him what he's going to do now. Ben says he's going to stay behind, because he still has to work some things out. And he tells Locke that he doesn't have to be in that chair anymore - Locke apparently agrees, and stands up and walks in the house.

We flash to the Island. Ben says Desmond will be okay. A stunned Hurley notes that, "Jack's gone, isn't he?" Hurley asks what he's supposed to do now, and Ben says he should do what he does best - Helping people. Ben says Hugo can start by sending Desmond home. Hugo says that they can't send people off the Island, to which Ben says that that was just Jacob's way. Ben agrees to be the Richard Alpert to Hugo's Jacob.

Back in Bizarro LAX, Hugo tries to talk Ben into coming inside, but Ben says he's not ready. They exchange comments - Hurley says that Ben was a great #2, and Ben says that Hurley was a great #1. Jack then drops Kate off, and she leaves to go inside for Christian's funeral, she says. (Or rather, for whatever meeting they're having there.)

We flash back to the Island, and shockingly, Jack is alive!!! He struggles away from a waterfall, and we flash quickly back to Bizarro LAX. Jack has snuck in the back of the church (I'm presuming that's what it is), and he's eyeing the coffin that contains his father. He touches the coffin, and finally, his memories come flooding back.

He opens the coffin, and again, it's empty. But suddenly, his dad is behind him! "Hey kiddo." "I don't understand... you died." "How are you here?" Jack died too, apparently. "Everyone dies sometime, kiddo. Some of them before you, some of them long after you." "Why are they all here now?" "Well there is no 'now' here..." "Where are we dad?" "This is the place that you all made together so that you could find one another. The most important part of your life was the time you spent with these people, which is why all of you are here."

Christian goes on, nothing that everyone needed to be here to remember, and to eventually let go. Christian says that they're all "moving on," and when Jack asks where they're going, he says, "Let's go find out."

As the people embrace in the church, it is interspersed with a bloody Jack stumbling around on the Island. In the church, he and Kate hold hands and sit down, as everyone else does, and this is spliced with Jack dying on his back in the Island, and Vincent coming to lay down with him. At the head of the church, Christian opens the doors, and a white light floods into it. As Jack looks into the sky on the Island, he sees the plane pass overhead, and finally closes his eye - show over.

... Or is it? After the title placard, we see shots of the Island with debris all over it. And then, finally, we fade out.

Even more answers on LOST!

There was a lot of bellyaching on the Internetz about last week's episode of LOST. Not surprisingly, I liked it - I sometimes think I'm too easy on the show because I crammed all of my viewing into a year, as opposed to stretching it out over multiple years. However, I think this week's episode will be much better received, and of course, I frickin' loved it all.

For once, LOST actually provided plenty of answers, mostly in the form of a campfire question and answer with Jacob. Why does FLocke walk around when he can just Smoke Monster'it around? Well, because it reminds him of being human to walk around. Who's the candidate? Jack volunteers. Why are they potential candidates? Because all of their lives were crappy on the mainland, an assertion they all reluctantly accept. Why was Kate's name crossed out? Well, because she got a life and became a mother, and as Jacob bluntly points out, that's just chalk on a wall.

It is this sort of bluntness that I love the most about LOST. Like South Park, it isn't afraid to basically shoot the middle finger to its fans and stick to its guns. In a show where the throbbing masses who watch it want to assert meaning to every little thing that happens, sometimes, as the saying goes, a cigar is just a cigar.

Is there still a lot for LOST to wrap up in its final episode? Absolutely! However, they are running toward the finish line now, whereas most of the season I felt like they were crawling. (Especially since pretty much everything that happened in the Temple seems dated and silly now.) My rough predictions for the final episode:

Desmond on the Island being a "last resort", I think his power works roughly like it did in the hatch - He has the power to reset things, which might work by making the Bizarro LAX real, or making the Island surface in Bizarro LAX. Regarding Bizarro LAX, I think that's the actual reality, while everything happening on the Island is a sort of shell game that decides humanity's fate. FLocke will definitely fail, because I can't imagine the show ending with the bad guy winning, not when the creators are adamant that they have no interest in continuing the show in the future. Ben will be the one to kill FLocke, but not before Ben kills another fan favorite, with my money being on Hurley. I think there is a good chance that Sawyer sacrifices himself to save the life of Jack or Kate. And Miles is definitely the one who saved Desmond from the well, because deep down, he does have a bit of a heart.

Grade: A

The picture comes from the always excellent Lostpedia entry for tonight's episode, "What They Died For."

A thinning of the herd on LOST

So... We got some answers on LOST. Or rather, FLocke eliminated some possibilities with his trickery. Anyone still think that he is somehow the good guy and Jacob isn't?

First things first - It was oddly satisfying to see Kate get shot. As in, I laughed like a madman when it happened. Unfortunately though, it seems pretty clear that she will survive, as a bullet, dynamite and sinking submarine aren't enough to kill her.

Tackling the deaths in order of occurrence, it was neat to see Jack's faith in Sayid being redeemable actually pan out. When it became clear that FLocke double-crossed them with the C4 and the submarine, Sayid was the one who tried to swallow it, Mask style. This did create another unintentionally funny moment though, when Hurley said he was going after Sayid, even though he had been blown to bits with the explosives.

Second, the scene with Sun and Jin was pretty gut-wrenching. It wasn't at the level of Desmond and Charlie, because I haven't formed as much of an attachment to them, but the scene was still really well done. However, it does make me think that somehow, Bizarro LAX will be the "real" world when all is said and done. Things are ending up a bit more "happily ever after" in that world as opposed to the Island, where people are now dying left and right. I don't see the creators of LOST being comfortable with just killing off half the cast for reals.

Speaking of Bizarro LAX, there was some interesting stuff going on in it. Locke is now responsible for his and his father's paralysis; they were linked before, but it wasn't Locke's fault before. It seems like Claire and Jack are going to do some bonding, which is sweet. And there are still some interesting tangles out there to be undone, such as what happens to Kate, Sawyer, Miles and Hurley.

However, the super-duper most tantalizing thing out there remains Desmond in the well. Sayid confirmed that he left him alive instead of killing him, and with Jack, Sawyer, Kate and Hurley managing to escape the submarine, and possibly Frank as well, Desmond would seem to be their #1 target. He wasn't on the candidate list, so it's not exactly clear what role he will play. But Desmond seems to be affected by the theory Jack stated - FLocke can't directly kill them.

Grade: A

The photo of Sun and Jin is from this awesome, awesome LOST blog.

TV Review: Mostly "meh" episode of LOST

LOST was a bit disappointing last night, as half of the episode was a solid snorefest. In a flip-flop from most of the early season episodes, the parts featuring the Island itself are now pretty stale, while the real drama going on involves Bizarro LAX / the tangent universe / the side-flashes, whatever you'd like to call them.

Going from the good to the bad, pretty much everything that happened in Bizarro LAX this week, I found pretty interesting. As I thought, Desmond smashing Locke with his car resulted in Jack being the specialist that would see him, although we didn't find this out until the end of the episode. For the rest of the episode, Desmond worked on getting Claire to see his lawyer - Ilana, it turns out - who magically was the same one handling the Shepard will reading, so there was a brief reunion until Jack got called into surgery.

Outside of this, in Bizarro LAX we also had the plot thicken a bit with Sawyer, Kate, Miles, Sayid and Sun. Sawyer and Kate's flirting is still just as annoying, but it was cool to see him catch Sayid the Killing Machine when everyone else had failed throughout various seasons of LOST. Miles continued to be solid in a small role, and Sun and Jin were cute, and thankfully, their baby is still OK. All in all, I was happy with the brisk pacing in Bizarro LAX, even if the results of Hurley knowing about his past on the Island still haven't been revealed.

In contrast, the Island portions had lots of crap going on that I found uninteresting. FLocke was doing his usual lying and tricking and misleading, such as denying that he had Desmond, then sending Sayid to kill Desmond. Of course, I don't think this actually happened, which is sweet, because Desmond is the best thing going on the show right now. Widmore got seriously pissed off that FLocke wouldn't turn him back over though, and bombed the shit out of FLocke's camp, which I kind of liked.

A couple of FLocke's group - Jack, Sawyer, Sun, Claire, Hurley and Kate - managed to make a break for it on the boat. However, Jack willingly left the boat, since he had a nagging feeling that they weren't meant to escape. My friend Nikki and I agree - I don't think LOST ends without them killing FLocke, as opposed to just running away from him. Once the rest of the group got to Widmore's camp, they were held hostage by his second-in-command, presumably because Desmond either 1) wasn't with them or 2) turned over by FLocke.

Anywho. While this wasn't the most scintillating episode of LOST, I am very interested in seeing how it all ends up, especially in Bizarro LAX.

Island portion grade: D
Bizarro LAX grade: A
Combined grade: B-

TV Review: I still hate Hugo.

Libby brings two friends to her date with Hugo.

Ah, LOST. My friends Tom and Nikki were having a minor disagreement about last night's episode, with Tom claiming it was a 6/10 episode, and Nikki being more positive, calling it a 8/10. My own rating reflects more of a fencesitting: I give the first 20 minutes a 4/10, and the final 20 minutes a 10/10, for an average of 7/10. (Sorry I couldn't really settle the dispute, pals.)

As the title of this entry implies, I still find Hugo to be a miserable, sad character. He is still strictly the fat dude comic relief, even if he's the only one outside of Miles who can reasonably talk to the dead. In Bizarro LAX, at least he has finally managed to make some moves on Libby, which will probably allow Cousin Brandon to rest in peace. In fact, let's tackle this episode, from bad to good:

Bad: Ilana going out like a bitch. It's weird, in that while I'm not her biggest fan, I still thought Ilana deserved to go out a little bit better than, well, being the only character on the show to get exploded besides the dorky science teacher. LOST earns some points for making her death a complete "out of left field" shock, but I openly laughed when it happened, because it felt more appropriate for Loony Tunes as opposed to a serious drama.

Bad: Hurley's continuing pussification. Dash Worthington would not approve of Hurley. Specifically, he pulls a FLocke move in last night's episode and tries to lie to the group to get them to follow him to FLocke's camp. Hasn't he learned anything from how he has been treated on the Island??? One of his biggest complaints during the past seasons has been about being lied to, and the very second he's in a position of power, he uses his "I can see ghosts!" power to lie to people.

Bad: Michael's odd cameo on the episode. It's nice to know that the whispering from all of the past seasons are ghosts haunted by what they did on the Island, forced to remain; it's nice to know that Michael will be spending an undetermined amount of time living in damnnation on the Island. However, like Ilana, most people people will probably consider this a disappointing use of Michael's character. While I was never a huge fan of him, he probably deserved a bit more than this, and maybe they'll address his fate more in Bizarro LAX.

Good: Hurley and Libby FINALLY hooking up, even if it is in Bizarro LAX. This also seems to kickstart his memory, as Desmond seemed to want, and has interesting implications. Hurley clearly has a much, much better thing going on in Bizarro LAX, since he is not cursed, filthy rich and now, with the presence of Libby, in love. If the worlds are somehow merged again, then what happens to her?

Really Good: Desmond knocked Locke out with his god damn car! Wow! That was a wickedly satisfying scene to watch for some reason; I'm not entirely sure why. Also, I think the whole chain of events is part of a plan by Desmond to reunite Locke with Jack. With his injuries, Locke will get taken to the hospital where Jack works, where either the operation or something post-surgical will make their memories kick back online.

Good: Desmond is still the mother effing man, and he is now equal to Jack in my mind. To me, it seems like he has a Luke Skywalker-esque endgame in mind, which is why he appeared fearless in front of FLocke. It wouldn't surprise me if he somehow knows the "secret" to thwarting him and "fixing" the two worlds.

Good: It was nice to see a larger role for some characters, like Ben and Miles, even if they were still mostly supporting characters. And hey, no awkward scenes between Kate, Jack and Sawyer - just awkward gazing. We're improving! Hurrah!

Belated but never imitated LOST commentary

Oh Desmond, you beautiful bastard!

Ahhh - I know everyone has been waiting with bated breathe for this oft-delayed LOST commentary. Well, relax. After many promises by me, it is finally, finally here. You can cease writing your local representatives in Congress. As an aside, I think I'm finally, fingers crossed, done with a lot of the heavy flood coverage I've been slammed with the past two weeks, so I believe I will be back to a more normal blogging schedule.

Anyway, enough with that; let's talk LOST. I thought the most recent episode, "Happily Ever After", was the second-strongest of this season, behind only "Lighthouse." However, that was a Jack-centered episode, so I imagine I might be in the minority who thought it was the best of the season.

"Happily Ever After" followed Desmond, who is definitely the best "cool" character on the show, since he has the least amount of drama. While Sawyer gets some snappy lines, he is also constantly crying about his daddy, his mommy, Juliet, Kate and how he stubbed his toe in fifth grade. And while I love Miles, his screen time has shrunk further this season, and I doubt he is going to get his own episode, unfortunately.

Therefore, Desmond is definitely my pick for the coolest character of the cast. He has the most straightforward and uncomplicated love story with Penny, which is a nice contrast from the doom and gloom misery of the rest of the cast. Even though they have apparently been separated at this point, I can't help but think that things will be fine for them at the very end. (Not so coincidentally, the final episode of LOST is simply called "The End", and I'm a fan of the simplicity.)

Focusing on the episode itself, Desmond was doing cool Desmond stuff, like surviving elctromagnetic pulses and being able to switch between Bizarro LAX and the Island at willing seemingly because of the presence of his constant, Penny. At least, that's the impression I got from the episode. After Widmore's wacky experiment that exposes Desmond to a bunch of electromagnet energy, the story rapidly switches to Bizarro LAX, and later in the episode, when Desmond meets Penny, he finally switches back.

In earlier episodes, it is suggested that Desmond is unique in his ability to switch back and forth - this is especially evident in the time travel episodes, since almost everyone but him dies from the switching. However, it does seem like the only other person completely knowledgeable about the split universes is Eloise Widmore, a.k.a. the mother of Daniel Farraday / Daniel Widmore. Like Miles, I think it would be quite interesting if she got her own episode this season, but with only six episodes and seven hours of programming left, that seems unlikely.

"Happily Ever After" did end a bit ambiguously, with Sayid killing Widmore's man accompanying Desmond through the jungle. Desmond easily agreed to Sayid's request to go with him, which makes me think he has a trick or two up his sleeve. His name wasn't seen on camera in the Cave of Candidates, and it doesn't correspond to a number, so he seemingly isn't one. Yet, this doesn't mean he isn't, and it doesn't preclude him from having special abilities either. After all, Miles can talk to dead people, and he's not on the candidate list either.

I will say that I don't think it is a coincidence that my favorite episodes of this season have been written by the show's executive producers, Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse. And thankfully, I have noted that they wrote the final episode, "The End." While some people have been down on the show, I still have hope that a good portion of things will make sense at the end, and I like what they've done so far this season.

Grade: A+

The picture of Desmond is from the episode summary of the excellent LOST Wiki site, which is accessible here.

DON'T READ THIS: Blogging LOST, Week 7

As the name of this post applies, don't read this post if you don't want to know spoilers for the season premiere of LOST. In lieu of a picture, please enjoy this montage of Claire craving her baby. Huge, huge spoilers no doubt appear right after this...

9 p.m. - We begin the episode on the Island, as Ben scrambles out of the Temple, and runs into Ilana and some others. He suggests that they retreat to the beach, and the others agree.

In Bizarro LAX, Ben is teaching European history to a high school class, and of course, there are some parallels between his lesson on Elba and Napoleon and his situation now. And of course, one of his co-teachers is the nerdy science teacher who dies from the exploding TNT. This leads to another "coincidence" scene, as Locke the Substitute suggests to Ben that he become the principal, and he'd listen to him if he was the leader. ooooo.

On the Island, Ilana hands Miles the bandanna from Jacob's body, and asks about his death. Miles does his freaky mind-meld thing, and discovers that Ben Linus killed Jacob. "Uh oh," as one of the character says.

9:08 p.m. - We stick with the Island through the break, and Ben, Ilana, Miles and company have already made it to the beach. It is only a quick scene though, as Ben tries to get back in Ilana's good graces, to no avail.

In Bizarro LAX, Ben is taking care of his elderly father, who is on some sort of oxygen mask. In some more plot revelation, Ben's father DID take him to the Island, but they both apparently left at some point, which has caused his father regret - What would have become of his life? And THEN, shockingly, Alex (Ben's "daughter" from the Island) is now one of his prized pupils in History Club!

On the Island, Ilana knows that Sun or Jin are candidates, and she tells Sun. But, only six are left alive, and like Fake Locke, she doesn't know whether Sun or Jin is the candidate.

In another plot line, Hurley and Jack are apparently in this episode as well. At first, it appears like we're headed for a Hurley slapstick episode, but then Richard pops up out of nowhere. He convinces Jack to follow him back to the Temple instead of going with Hurley.

On the beach, Ben and the Pilot exchange some light dialogue, until Ilana presses a gun up to Ben's neck. She has him march out to a clearing, and then ties him spread eagle on a tree. She tells him to start digging a grave - For himself.

9:17 p.m. - In Bizarro LAX, we find out that Alex's mom (Rousseau?) works two jobs to support her. Also, her principal and Ben's boss is a pervert. Nice?

On the Island, Miles brings some food to Ben. He reveals that right up until Jacob got stabbed through the heart, he was hoping that he was wrong about Ben. Awwww.

On the other part of the Island, Hurley starts asking Richard about why he is still alive and doesn't age, which is pretty comical. It is not time travel, or a Terminator thing. Richard tells them both that everyone at the Temple is dead, and he wanders off, telling them that he's going to go die now. (I'm presuming that like Tuck Everlasting, Richard views his immortal status as a blessing and a curse now.)

9:30 p.m. - In Bizarro LAX, Ben starts scheming to get the principal fired. He asks the Bio Teacher to hack the nurse's e-mail account, and he agrees, in exchange for a better parking spot. He then jokes, "Linus you're a real killer!" Ha ha ha!

Back on the Island, Ben is still digging his own grave, and then we flash over to Richard exploring the wrecked ship that he came to the Island on. He is toying around with dynamite, and says that he can't die because Jacob touched him. He expresses disbelief with Jacob, and says that he wasted his life, and asks Jack to kill him. Jack lights the fuse for him. However, he then sits by him and says that it is time to talk. Commercial!

9:40 p.m. - Thankfully, we are back to the Island, and Jack and Richard with the dynamite. He asks Richard the Lighthouse, of which he seemingly has no answer for, and as the dynamite fuse burns down, it extinguishes. Jack is now apparently the man of faith, since he trusts his life to the idea that Jacob won't let him die. He says they'll go back to the beach now.

We flash over to the beach, and Fake Locke is trying to talk Ben into leading the Island when he leaves with the others. He invites Ben to come to the Hydra station on the other island with him, to save his own skin, and tells him where a rifle is to shoot Ilana. He hesitates for a second, and then runs.

Back to Bizarro LAX, Ben has 30 e-mails that cover a three-month period between the principal and the nurse. He tries to blackmail the principal into resigning... and he reveals that he has gotten the e-mail from Alex Rousseau (ooo!) and will torch her "life" (wording mine) with a bad recommendation to Yale. This clearly parallels the situation when Alex was held hostage by Ben's lust for power, and now, we have a redux of it.

Oddly enough, back on the Island, Ben almost immediately brings this up. He gets to the rifle first and doesn't shoot Ilana, and instead, confesses that he was angry when he killed Jacob, because Alex died because of his decision, and Jacob never let him in on what the plan was. He breaks down and says he'll go with Fake Locke because no one else will have him, at which point, Ilana says that she'll take him. As the show fades to a commercial, Ben follows her instead of going with Fake Locke.

9:54 p.m. - We start back from the final break with Ben in the principal's office, but we find out that he didn't screw up Alex's life this time. Awww.

Back on the Island and the beach, Ben makes his way back to the camp, like a puppy with its tail between its legs. He offers to help Sun out making some huts. And as the sad music plays - you know, the usual sad LOST-y music - Hurley, Jack and Richard have made it back to the beach.

To end the episode, hey, I guess the submarine works now! And Charles Widmore is in it!!! An officer asks him if he wants to stop with the plan, because there are people on the Island, and he says no. How mysterious! What is Charlie Ballgame up to now?

TV Review: Even more answers as LOST progresses

I'm also thinking deeply about this episode, Jack.

Before I start, the usual LOST caveats apply for this post - Big time final season and Tuesday night spoilers are in the following post. Read at your own risk!

Anyway, I thought the season's fifth episode, "Lighthouse", did a great job at continuing to provide some answers, at least from the perspective of Jacob as opposed to FLocke (Fake Locke / Old Smokey / The Man In Black). Of course, my main Jack figured heavily into the episode, as he was at the crux of the Island and Bizarro LAX stories. This was also a surprisingly strong episode for Hurley, who I don't normally like, and a surprisingly weak episode for Claire and Jin, who I'm normally more into.

Hitting on the big part of the episode first - Apparently in Bizarro LAX, Jack has a kid with a similar relationship between himself and his father. By the end of the episode, they have patched things up. While it seems like some of the people in Bizarro LAX are destined for more misery, such as Charlie the Convicted Drug Addict, Locke and Jack have both carved out seemingly-happy niches for themselves. Neither one has a perfect life - Locke is still crippled, and Jack is still divorced or separated - but they both clearly have relationships with people they love.

Using this as a springboard to talk about the Island, I think this is the biggest difference between Jacob and FLocke's methods. I ultimately think they represent good and evil, and the show is not pulling a swerve on us.

Jacob's method of "pushing" the characters relies on manipulation, and it requires them to make tough decisions and deal with emotional trauma. Are the characters being manipulated? Sure, you could say that. However, there is a sort of paternalism to his actions. They have to have trust that what they're doing is correct. While I'm not into religion, I am into trusting my instincts and gut reaction, which often suggests I have to do things that will be a pain in the ass.

I think this all contrasts vividly from FLocke's game, which relies upon more heavy-handed manipulation and outright deception. FLocke essentially turned Ben Linus, the evilest character on television for close to four years, into a blubbering, whiny idiot that you could actually feel sympathy for. He's also providing tantalizing "answers" for Sawyer and (apparently) Claire that paint Jacob as the enemy.

To me, it reeks of a classic distraction technique - FLocke is so busy pinning the woes of the Island members on Jacob that Sawyer, Ben and others don't have the presence of mind to grill him on his own plans. To again parallel this to real life, I don't like people who insist on blaming others, whether it be a boss or some other force, for something that prevents their own happiness. Jacob and the Bizarro LAX scenes seem to suggest that hard work, trust and introspection can lead to happiness, regardless of the initial genetic hand or stumbles you might have along the way. FLocke is too busy assigning blame and gaining revenge to be concerned with happiness. (And, for this reason, I think Sawyer eventually comes to his senses and screws up the entire plan for FLocke, ultimately fulfilling Jacob's goal.)

Kirsten Dunst has lost her god damn mind, and so has Jack :(

Dear Kirsten Dunst, I'm sorry that Spider-Man 4 was canceled a couple of months ago. Maybe this has caused you to ponder some past career decisions, and to try to grab some "indy credit" like Zooey Deschanel has, for her dual-acting and singing careers, kind of.

However, that thing above... is just a bad idea. What the eff were you thinking, child? Ack! Thanks to Gawker for the original posting that I saw on it, and for my friends Tom and Kristi for bringing it to my attention.

I guess I have to call it "artistic" because it is bad, like an Asian fetish dude's wet dream. The only thing missing from that video is tentacle porn, and I suppose there is only none of that because the video is shooting for an NC-17 or R-rating as opposed to being hentai. But between all the Japanese school girls, busty anime chicks, sparkles and bad singing, I mentally threw up about 40 times.

Speaking of bad ideas, the real-life Jack Shepard has been stepping out on his lady. Matthew Fox! Knock that behavior off, please. It is being reported by sleazy outfits, like The National Enquirer and InTouch, but I guess we'll know if there is an actual divorce or not whether it was true.

Secondly, how come all of these cheaters step-down a bit with their targets? At least Tiger Woods was doing some porn stars and models in addition to gross waitresses at Waffle Houses; presumably he was picking up some new tricks. Matthew Fox allegedly slept with some gross 25-year-old stripper with a kid. barf. Hey Matt Fox, stick with your already good-looking wife with whom you have kids with! Don't go all Sawyer on us.

The picture of Fox and his wife is from this site. I'll have my thoughts on last night's episode a little bit later, when I'm done watching the episode.

DON'T READ THIS: Blogging LOST, Week 3

In keeping with last week, here is another running diary of LOST. Of course, huge spoilers on this week's episode follows, and as always, Amanda and Tom will be providing some commentary as well.

9 p.m. - A short recap this week, and we're apparently going to be following Locke (and hopefully Fake Locke) for a bit. In Bizarro LAX, he's getting out of his van with the fancy ramp, which stalls and makes him fall down on to the lawn, with the sprinklers smacking him in the face. How farcical and morbidly funny! And hey, Peg Bundy is back as his girlfriend! That's nice that he has love again. She finds the card from Dr. Jack Shepard in his clothes, and says maybe it's destiny that they ran into each other. Nifty, huh?

The scene shifts to the Smoke Monster. It hovers outside of a building in the Others' village for a bit, and then finally forms around a machete, which Fake Locke takes. He had Richard tied up in a trap, but finally chops him down. First commercial break.

9:07 p.m. - Short break, as we're back to Locke in his office. And his evil boss Randy is harassing him about his walkabout, and then shitcans him for lying about attending the conference. Aw, poor Locke.

We move to Fake Locke on the Island. He mentions that he knew Locke's appearance would gain him access to Jacob, because Locke is a "candidate." Fake Locke tries to appeal to Richard by saying that he'll tell him everything as opposed to keeping him in the dark, but Richard refuses to join him. Fake Locke is then seemingly going to kill him, but gets distracted by something, and lets him go.

Flash to Ben on the Island. He's talking to Alana or Illana or whatever her name is - Amanda and I don't know. Amanda comes up with the name Wannabe Jackass, which seems appropriate. WJ says that Fake Locke is now "recruiting."

Fake Locke is now going through the cottage with the music from earlier; a vinyl is playing on a record. In another room, James (Sawyer) is drinking himself into a stupor - It seems like Fake Locke has his first recruitment target.

Amanda: Oh God damn it he is sexy. Even as a brooding alcoholic with a broken heart. And absolutely NO good can come from this. Well I mean, really. Locke is clearly this insane Smoke Monster with a plan. And Sawyer is VERY vulnerable and angry right now. He's got a hairline temper and is liable to fly off the handle at any second. If Locke starts devising crazy plans, Sawyer could go along with it. And shit will go down.

9:18 p.m. - Back from the second commercial break, we're sticking with Sawyer and Fake Locke. (Sawyer is in his underwear and a wife-beater, hence Amanda's great like.) Amanda says, "How'd Sawyer get so dirty? ;) I think that LOST and Intervention could have an amazing crossover episode."

Wow, Sawyer catches on right away that Fake Locke is fake. Fake Locke says he can answer the most important question in the world - Why Sawyer is on the Island. And even drunk, Sawyer gets in some good zingers, but agrees to go .

Amanda: NO. 1) Don't go with him. 2) NO PANTS!

We flash to Bizarro LAX. Hugo Reyes, the OWNER of Locke's company, has a confrontation with him outside of his (former) job. He offers him a new job with his temp agency.

Now we're on the beach. Wannabe Jackass covers up the corpse of Locke, and says they should go to the Temple, luring Sun with her by saying that Jin might be there. They postpone their plans though to bury Locke.

Flash over to Fake Locke and Sawyer, and Fake Locke sees a kid in the jungle. He chases after him, eventually falling at his feet. In an eerie similarity to Real Locke, the kid tells him that he knows the rules and can't kill, which causes Fake Locke to scream, "Don't tell me what I can't do!" Third commercial break.

Tom: Tween Jacob. Can't wait for LOST babies - It'll be better than Muppet Babies.

9:28 p.m. - Back on the Island, Richard catches up to Sawyer and warns him that Fake Locke will lie to him. Richard runs, and Fake Locke and Sawyer have an awkward exchange.

In Bizarro LAX, Locke and Rose has a short exchange. She runs the temp agency, and apparently, she still has terminal cancer. Aw. But she convinces Locke to take a more realistic job, as opposed to construction foreman.

Back on the Island, Sawyer and Fake Locke are walking through the woods. Sawyer talks about Of Mice and Men, which Fake Locke has no recollection of, and Sawyer pulls a gun on him, asking him what will happen if he pumps a slug into his brain. Fake Locke says he used to be a man, like Sawyer, and lures him into further intrigue and not shoot him.

9:38 p.m. - Apparently, according to a conversation between Wannabe Jackass and Ben, Fake Locke is stuck in his current form for some reason. They stick Locke in the ground, and Ben does a short eulogy. "John Locke was a... believer. He was a man of faith, he was a much better man than I will ever be and I'm very sorry I murdered him." The Pilot gets in a pretty nifty line right after, "Weirdest damn funeral I've ever been to." Nice.

We flip to Bizarro LAX, and Locke is calling for Jack. But he gets the secretary and doesn't talk! Eeck. Locke confesses to Helen that he got fired, and of course, right as he does, the doorbell rings. The airplane company found his baggage. Locke tells Helen that he lied about the conference, and has her open the case, which was full of his knives. He says he wasn't allowed on the walkabout. "I'm sick of imagining what my life would be out of this chair." Helen and Locke kiss passionately, after she rips up Jack's card. nooooooo!

Flash over to the Island with Fake Locke and Sawyer. They apparently have to climb down a ladder on a cliff, to God knows where. One of the steps snaps as Sawyer tries to climb down it, and then, the ladder detaches from the face of the cliff. Fake Locke grabs Sawyer as he dangles, and they manage to make it to the outcrop they were shooting for. It is a small cavern with a scale, with a black rock and a white rock balancing each other. Fake Locke throws the white rock out into the water, and then lights a torch to show him why he's there - There is some sort of mural on the wall, with his name and various others. Shocking! And we hit another commercial break.

Tom: I hope they're going to explain something in the last 10 minutes.

9:53 p.m. - In Bizarro LAX, Locke is somehow watching kids run laps, and then teaching them about... the human reproductive system. I guess he's a substitute teacher. And Ben Linus teaches European history! What a weird turn of events.

We flip over to the Island, where Fake Locke is showing Sawyer around Jacob's cave. Each main cast member corresponds to a number, and Fake Locke says that Jacob was pushing all of them toward the Island. Fake Locke says they are all "candidates" to become the protector of the Island, and then says that there is no need for a Protector. Fake Locke also crosses out Locke's name on the wall. Fake Locke asks Sawyer if he's ready to go home, and Sawyer says, "Hell yes."

Amanda: I'm not buying it, Locke. If it's that easy, why are you still there? Sorry. There's more to it than this.

DON'T READ THIS: Blogging LOST, Week 2

In keeping with last week, here is another running diary, albeit belated, on this week's edition of LOST...

First segment: Hippie Richard tells Kung Fu that “he's alive,” referring to Sayid. This seems to get a big smile out of the Drunken Master. Then we switch to the gang, and Sawyer, that rascal, is already planning on running.

Next, we're back to the Bizzaro LAX, where Kate is holding the taxi guy hostage with a gun, and Claire is in the backseat. The taxi driver looks suspiciously like the puppet master from Heroes, but I'm not positive about that. He runs from the car, and then Kate steals Claire's purse before ordering her out of the car.

We switch again to the Temple, with the gang explaining to Sayid what is going on. I love Miles, who arguably has as many good, snappy lines as Sawyer at this point. “As you can see, Hugo here has assumed a leadership position, which is... really great.” There is a confrontation between Jack and the Kung Fu Master, who might not realize that Jack can probably speak whatever language he's using, because of his experience with the wacky Chinese lady in past seasons.

Anywho, Sawyer has magically procured a gun, because he's Sawyer. He decides to leave, and Kate offers to track him and bring him back, convincing the Tribal Others (my name for them) that she can do so.

Now we're back to Kate in LA, presumably, where she at first pulls a gun some fat, sleazy but kind of charming mechanic. (Think Bud from Kill Bill Volume 2.) She pays him $200 to break her handcuffs, and then goes into a restroom to change, at which point we get a stomach-punch scene with Kate going through Claire's bag. She has a picture of her pregnant, and a big stuffed Shamu doll. A really, really powerful scene.

We switch scenes again to Jack and Kate planning for the trip into the jungle to find Sawyer. Jack grabs Kate like he wants to kiss her, but doesn't, and she doesn't lean in for the lip-lock either.

On to the Kung Fu Master and Sayid, as the Master blows some sort of dust on to Sayid, before hooking up electrodes to him. He begins to shock him, getting a scream out of Sayid, and then he prepares a red-hot poker, scorching his skin with it. Hippie Richard tells him that he passed the test, but apparently, he did not, as Kung Fu says that Sayid didn't pass the test.

Back to the Bizarro LA, Kate somehow finds out where Claire is and gives her back her stuff. Then amazingly, she offers Claire a ride to the adopted parents house, which Claire seems to accept! (This whole turn of events strikes me as completely and utterly impossible – Kate just held her up at gunpoint, and then dumped her on a random street, and then she somehow finds Claire again, AND convinces her to not be very, very uncomfortable with this whole ride thing.)

Now we're on the Island again, and some member of the Tribal Others is leading him. And shockingly, it is Mac from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia! Wow! What an inexplicable bit of casting! Anyway, Rousseau the French Woman has apparently been dead for a couple years now, according to Mac, but then Kate manages to overpower Mac and the other guard (again) to escape.

Jack goes inside to talk with Kung Fu and Hippie Richard, and they say that Sayid is “infected” with something. They're trying to convince Jack to get Sayid to take a pill. If Sayid doesn't take the pill, Kung Fu said that he would be dead. Sayid and Jack then have a heart to heart.

We cut back to Kate and Jin in the jungle, with them breaking up a bit, and Kate trying to chase after Sawyer. Then another quick cut to Claire and Kate as they ride to Claire's baby adopted momma. It turns out that her husband dumped her, and she didn't tell Claire, and the shocking news causes Claire to start going into labor.

Another cut to the Others' village, which Kate is exploring. Sawyer is ripping up the floorboards in one of the houses, to reveal a shoebox with... Well, it's not really revealed, but I assume it is something of Juliet's that makes Kate change her mind that Sawyer could ever be her's. She tries to sneak out, but Sawyer discovers her, and they exchange awkward words.

Back to Bizarro LAX, Kate manages to take Claire to a hospital, and who is the doctor? Ethan, of course. Claire is given the option of having her baby at that time, or postponing it, and she chooses to postpone it. LOST teases that she'll have to deliver the baby anyway, and also, Kate seems to show some faint glimmers of recognition when Claire reveals that her baby is named Aaron.

On the Island, Kate and Sawyer are chatting, about how she wants to find Claire to reunite him with Aaron. Sawyer has a teary scene with Kate, and the item is revealed to be an engagement ring for Juliet, which he throws into the water.

Kung Fu is spinning a baseball, and he and Jack have another chat. You know, mostly about trust. Jack tries to swallow the pill instead, and Kung Fu has to attack him to force him to not swallow it. You see, it is full of poison.

In Bizarro LA, Claire covers for Kate as two cops come looking for Kate. (Lilly looks pretty in this scene, for some reason, and I'm not usually a fan of her.) Kate encourages Claire to keep Aaron.

Back to Kate and Sawyer at the village – they exchange looks, but that is all. Back again to Jack and Kung Fu, as they talk about why they wanted to kill Sayid. Kung Fu thinks that Sayid has been “claimed” by a darkness that is growing in him. Jack wants to know how he can be sure – And Kung Fu says it happened to Jack's sister! (For those of you not keeping close attention, I believe that would refer to Claire.)

Mac and the Black Dude stumble upon Jin, and threaten to shoot him for the ambush earlier. Jin tries to run away, and gets his leg caught in a bear trap! As Mac hovers over him, about to pull the trigger, he and the Black Dude are shot by... Claire! Dressed in plaid, and looking all woodsy and whatnot! So she IS alive!

-----


And now, Amanda's comments on the episode. You can find her full blog on all matters pop culture and Boston, Amanda.Jean, here.

Alright, Greenwell. Here's my take on this week's episode:

I'm going to start off by saying that I don't like Kate. I wasn't thrilled that this was a "Kate" episode, but I'm starting to like dopelganger Kate.

I like how doppelganger Claire is still forced to keep Aaron. Can we please get back to the psychic? WHY does she have to be the one to raise Aaron? Are we about to find out? Probably not, they'll keep us waiting for a Claire episode. I know this because she showed up at the very end of this one.

Sayid. What's up? Who is he? John Locke is now Old Smokey, would they really have two characters technically dead with "possessed" bodies? That's not like LOST to rehash storylines like that, so I'm guessing there's more to it. As far as this "infection" maybe we'll finally figure out what happens to people on the island. But maybe this is a different infection, because Sayid is not, as far as I know, pregnant.

Jack is still an arrogant ass.

Sawyer is still charming as hell. I liked how he went back to his old house with Juliette. He really is a softy at heart! This guy makes me believe in romance (that and I'm on a bit of a sappy-love-story high thanks to the upcoming Valentine's Day weekend). I am glad he and Kate made peace. Even if she's a whore. And yeah, I went there.

Is it me or is Hurley taking more of a backseat than usual? Then again, with such a large cast, it may be too early to really tell.

Where is Ben? Where is Desmond? Where did Locke take Richard Alpert? Where is Aaron? Where is Penny? TOO MANY QUESTIONS and still no answers.

So that's about it from me. Let's do this again next week.

DON'T READ THIS: Liveblogging the LOST season opener

As the name of this post applies, don't read this post if you don't want to know spoilers for the season premiere of LOST. My friend Amanda is assisting with portions, and if you have any comments, feel free to PM me at ChemBros15. Huge, huge spoilers no doubt appear right after this...

9 p.m. - My friend Amanda spots a change right in the opening seconds, as Jack, in the original crash, got two bottles from the stewardess. And I seem to be right in my initial diagnosis that the plane crash wouldn't happen because of the actions of Juliet and what not.

As a result, Jack finds a dab of blood on his neck, and Desmond is next to him in his seat. Hey wait a second... Desmond wasn't originally on the plane! The mystery continues... Now we cut to under the water, with a picture of the giant foot statue thing. No other explanation, and we're at the first commercial break. (Amanda adds, "What the fuck? Why is this CGI SO BAD? Don't they have a big budget?"

9:10 p.m. - The episode resumes and we flashback to Juliet starting everything back in the past again. What the heck? How did Kate get into a tree? And why is the sound all messed up?

Amanda: I assume that's why the sound is effed up, since a bomb went off IN HER EARS.

Good call by Amanda. And sweet, Miles is still alive and what not! He was one of my favorite cast additions. The camera pans around after Kate says, "We're back," and it is revealed that they're both on the Island, after the Swan explosion. And hey, JACK is there too! And Sawyer comes out of nowhere to smack Jack across the face!

Amanda: SAWYER <3 kicking ass THEN taking names! After that scene, we switch to Jack back on the plane, and Kate (and her FBI agent friend) are still there. Kate bumps into Jack, so she obviously took something from him. Sawyer is on the plane as well, bringing up the idea of parallel universes or time splits or something similar. Hurley's luck has apparently changed, as he notes that "nothing bad ever happens to me." Another scene switch, and we're with Hurley, Sayid (still badly wounded) and Jin. Kate goes to inspect the wreckage of the Swan, and Juliet is buried underneath! Aw!

Meanwhile, Hurley consoles a dying Sayid, since Jack is probably helping out the hot blonde right now. (I would too.) The ominous music plays as Hurley hears something in the wood, and he turns around to see... Jacob! I guess that mofo is still alive, in some form or universe, and that gets us to the second commercial break at 9:21 EST.

9:23 p.m. - We're back, and Sun and Jin are playing kissy-poo a bit, and Locke and Boone are having a little chat. Amanda guarantees that Locke can walk now, and I agree. The scene then switches over to "Locke" (or whatever is possessing his body) and Ben; Ben is aghast that Jacob didn't fight back and just let him stab him. Another scene switch, and we're outside with Captain Frank and Sun. There is also friction between Richard and the New Others (which would make for a great rock band name). Ben goes to tell Richard that "Locke" wants to talk to him, and Richard shows Ben the corpse of Locke out on the beach. Ahhhh, another commercial! DRAMA!

Amanda: I like that Ben is at a disadvantage. Glad to see he doesn't have all the answers for once. His smug ass deserves it.

9:34 p.m. - Back again, with Jacob chatting to Hurley. Jacob is aware of his own death, and my friend Tom hypothesizes that the smoke monster is the thing possessing Locke.

Meanwhile, we flip back to the plane, and the stewardess / New Others member asks Jack the Doctor to help her with a guy locked in the restroom. Of course, it is Charlie, who has OD'ed - That was kind of easy to predict though. The show goes to commercial again, with his fate in the balance; I imagine that Jack brings him back to life somehow.

Amanda: OD. Sorry, badass musician, your luck ran out. But you make one sexy dead man. (Disclaimer: I am not a necrophiliac.) In all seriousness, a little Charlie Pace does the eyes good. I'm interested to see if he will play a bit of a role this season.

Eh, I just think he does a one-off. Maybe a few episodes here and there.

Amanda: Stop dashing my dreams, Greenwell.

9:40 p.m. - We're back, with Jack trying to clear Charlie's airway, and finding his baggie of heroin. He apparently choked on it, trying to keyster it. So, not technically an OD, although just about. He is apparently the only one who did not have a happy life with the time reset.

The scene switches to the Time Warp Gang trying to use the van to move the heavy machinery out of the way, so that they can try to dig Juliet out. She is soaked in blood, but seemingly conscious, and is playing a bit of kissy-kissy with Sawyer. Juliet realizes they're still on the Island, and reveals that she hit the bomb and detonated it.

Amanda: This is one hell of a love story. I'm glad James is so emotional these days.

Switching again, Jack and Hurley are talking about Jacob, who neither of them know; too bad they weren't in Locke's secret crew. Hurley stresses that he needs to take Sayid to Jacob's place. We switch again to the beach, and Ben and Richard are having a heart-to-heart.

Richard refuses to come into the shrine, but "Jacob's bodyguards" do. They try to shoot Evil Locke, and my friend Tom appears to be right, as the Smoke Monster appears again to mess up the bodyguards. One of them manages to keep him away for a few seconds by drawing a circle on the ground and standing in it, but the Smoke Monster makes him get out of it. Evil Locke says, "I'm sorry you had to see me like that," confirming that he is indeed most definitely the Smoke Monster. Plus Five for Tom.

Amanda: Holy disappearance Batman! You were RIGHT! (Referring to Tom.) He is in fact Old Smokey. And Old Smokey is my new petname for the monster. It sounds less mean. (After Evil Locke confirms that he is the Smoke Monster.) Badass.

9:52 p.m. - Sawyer and Juliet are again making kissy-faces as she dies. Uh, good times? They share a very, very dirty kiss, and by dirty, I mean physically unclean. Juliet says, "I have to tell you something," which on LOST is never a good thing, and then she dies. And Sawyer is Pissed at Jack, with the capital a definite.

Amanda: I think this moment just surpassed Titanic as far as my "romantic goodbye while dying moment."

We switch scenes again to the plane, with Charlie telling Jack he was supposed to die. Desmond is now missing again, of course. (Tom hypothesizes that the Smoke Monster is Desmond at this point in time, or in this universe, or whatever, and materialized into the plane as it passed over the Island.) It looks like the first hour is ending with a pretty routine landing, as everyone is buckling up for the descent into LAX, the name of the first episode... And then there are some cops on the plane, coming for Charlie.

However, the rest of the stuff seems pretty routine, with the passengers getting off. Unfortunately, it seems like Amanda and I were wrong, and Locke can't walk. And thus ends the first hour.

Amanda: I'm sad about Locke's legs. My cousin and his girlfriend are trying to watch - They have never seen LOST before. I am trying to recap and they think I'm nuts.

10:04 p.m. - Sawyer is now going through the trouble of burying Juliet. Kate says she'll leave a trail for him to follow as they try to save Sayid, but he says he ain't followin' no one. The others - Jack, Kate, Sawyer - leaves, while Sawyer and Miles hang back.

Scene switch to LAX, and Jack's dad is missing! Uh oh. They can't find Christian, as the airline says they have no idea where the coffin is. Good times, good times.

The crew brings Sayid to the Temple, where they find a skeleton with a missing arm and a book. After some more exploring, they find a spiral staircase further down, and some whispering voices get into Kate's ear. Jack alls out for her, and she doesn't seem to be responding, and he runs around looking for her. Then Jack runs back, because he can't find Hurley, and he gets punched out by... some weird guys in turbans! And then it reveals the actual Temple that was hidden by the wall.

Man, LOST is even more confusing than usual tonight... I keep having to ask Tom and Amanda what certain things are called. Like, I barely remember all of this Temple business.

10:15 p.m. - We're back, and Kate is up to her old tricks. She gets the FBI agent to take her to the bathroom, where she works on loosening up her handcuffs. She gets the jump on him, because he doesn't notice that she's not pissing or taking a dump. And of course, who does she meet in the elevator? Sawyer! Aw, they're thick as thieves already.

Amanda: "Well if it's confidential how am I supposed to know if I see one?" That is the kind of wit and charm that steals a girl's heart.

Then, we go to the Island, where Sawyer is burying Juliet's body. mwhahaha. I laughed like an evil person for some reason. Miles and Sawyer are bonding, as Sawyer realizes that Miles can talk to dead people. Juliet's final message to Sawyer? "It worked."

We switch again to the present time, where the weird group of natives is threatening to shoot the gang. But Hurley reveals what is inside the case for them - A wooden cross! The leader guy breaks it over his knee, and inside is a note from Jacob, presumably. This seems to smooth things over a bit, and they decide to bring Sayid to the Spring. Hurley wants to know what the paper says, and Hippie Richard Alpert says that if Sayid dies, they're all in a lot of trouble.

10:29 p.m. - We're back at the airport, as Jin and Sun are being detained by security. He has a bunch of cash on him, and a fancy watch, and Sun may or may not speak English any more, which presents a bit of a problem for Jin, who is led away by police. Sun does look like she is dressed much more conservatively, so she might not realize Jin's history anymore.

Scene skip to the Spring, where one of the natives cuts his hand and dips it into the water - I bet it is some sort of restorative fountain, but it doesn't seem to be working exactly correctly, judging from the Asian guy who cut his hand and then tried to fix it by dipping it in the water. He seemingly comes back to life, but then they drown him further? It is hard to tell exactly what happens.

Amanda: Sometimes, in my free time, I like to cut my hands open with knives, dip them in fountains, and then speak vaguely in a foreign language. I also have a vast collection of large hourglasses. And I drown Arabs.

And now, the Chinese leader dude says, "Your friend is dead." Amanda says, "We're all in big trouble." I'm also wondering what the heck is going on, since it fades to a commercial after Jack tries to give CPR to Sayid, failing. Amanda and Tom also have no idea where this is going.

10:40 p.m. - We're back after a pretty long break, with Kate trying to find her way out of the airport as her picture is circulated among the police. She manages to get her way to a taxi JUST as the FBI guy spots her, so she hijacks the cab, pulling a gun on him and making him drive away. And oh, by the way, Claire is in the cab with her!

Amanda: Oh HI CLAIRE.

Back to the Temple, they manage to find Miles and Sawyer, who was knocked out by a rock. Hurley is brought to the room with the Chinese guy, and spills that Jacob is dead, which makes everyone freak out. They start fortifying the place to protect against, I presume, the Smoke Monster.

We flip to Evil Locke and Ben, who are having a heart to heart. Ben rightly guesses that Smokey couldn't kill Jacob, and Evil Locke reveals Locke's last thought - "I just don't understand." Evil Locke then goes into a bit of a siloliquoy about how Locke was admirable, because he was weak and became strong, and because he didn't want to leave the Island. However, he then drops the bombshell that he wants what Locke didn't - To go home. So where is Evil Locke's home??? Ahhhh!

10:52 p.m. - Back to the Temple we go, where Sawyer is alive and what not. (Hey, at least not everyone is dead.) Sawyer says he won't kill Jack, because he deserves to "suffer on this rock like the rest of us."

The scene switches to Jack talking to his mom on the phone about the missing body of his dad, and then Locke and him are chatting a bit. After a little chat, Jack gives Locke his card, saying that nothing is reversible, and hinting that he might be able to fix his spine.

Amanda: If the rest of the season goes on in this parallel universe where they all becomes friends in L.A. I am going to go down to ABC and bomb the place.

Back to the beach, Evil Locke chats with Richard for a few seconds before quickly beating the snot out of him. Richard was apparently in chains at some point, although we have no indication why.

The episode ends with Hippie Alpert trying to convince Jack to come with him for a bit, but he resists. Hurley calls out to Jack, only for the Hippie to notice that... Sayid is still alive! Gasp!

Amanda: This is too weird. Even for LOST. WTF to the last two hours of my life!

I agree! Man. What the frick is going on? I think this is going to take a few more episodes to develop, unfortunately, with even more questions than answers for a while.

On growing a beard and more later

So, this isn't tonight's actual entry. But, I did want to put a placeholder in to say that it would be on karma and statistics, as ambiguous as that sounds.

The title of this entry refers to my beard right now, which is getting to ridiculous thickness, at least for my taste. We're talking about "Jack Shepard in Lost levels", which is cooler than it sounds, since I otherwise do not look like Jack Shepard. (Still, I must admit a certain pang of admiration for supporting similar muttonchops. However, I do zealously shave my mustache still; that is the only part that comes in blonde, as opposed to reddish, and I think it looks stupid.)

I'm not sure why I haven't shaved - I'm guessing laziness, since, although I don't like feeling it on my face, it does take a good 10 to 20 minutes to do a good shave with my electric, and I just keep on putting it off. Also, I feel like this particular beard has grown in fast. The last timed I shaved was two, maybe three weeks ago, and I already have it all grown in. I look a bit like a young Santa Claus, except not nearly girth-y enough. (Maybe next year, ladies.)

The photo of Jack comes from this newspaper / blog.

Lost predictions from the catacombs

So, I finally caught up on Lost, powering through all of season five in a two-day session this weekend. (WARNING: Huge spoilers immediately proceed!)

Predictably, the season ends on a ridiculous cliffhanger, as Juliet falls down the drilling hole, but she is able to smash the thermal nuclear core, making it detonate and executing the plan of Jack and Daniel Farraday.

I have to be brief, because I'm typing this in the 10 minutes before the Providence College game tonight, from the catacombs / basement press area of the Dunkin' Donuts Center. However, based on the past events of the show and the events of season five, I think the plan to “fix” time will work.

Why? Because for the most part, Daniel Farraday is correct on the show. If he thinks this has a chance to “fix” the timeline, then there is a good chance it will. Locke (or the being that possesses him) and Jack and Ben are sort of locked in an endless ideological struggle, and all of them seem to be right and wrong at various times. To steal terminology from Farraday and mathematics, his science is a constant of correctness on the show... at least so far.

With that in mind, I imagine the timeline of the fifth season will “start” when the original Oceanic plane crash occurred, except that it won't crash this time. From there, who the heck knows what will happen?

As far as the island goes, it wouldn't surprise me if Locke / Thing in Locke's body was in some sort of split timeline, or if he and Ben manage to be on the island and struggling over it anyway. Charles Widmore is also still presumably in the picture, and he might think of some ways to get the main cast (Jack, Kate, Sawyer, etc.) back on the island somehow.

Getting Lost with Lost - Season 3 and 4

Note - Don't read on if you're not interested in Lost and planning to be at some point, because there are extensive spoilers (at least I think) for the first four seasons. Warning you straight up, peeps.

I recently dove back into Lost after taking a bit of a hiatus because I've been too busy with work. In the past three days, I've managed to power my way through about a season's worth of episodes, stretching from the last six or seven of season three to the first six of season four. Some observations on the show...

- According to Amanda Meyer, who has a new, fantabulous blog of her own here, by the way, I'm pretty decent at judging some of the plot developments of the show. I don't think this is because of any special ability I have with Lost specifically; I think it is more of a function of Lost itself being a quality drama, and thus, sharing traits with other well-made movies and television shows.

By this, I mean that well-made content shares certain traits. For example, it is surprising and shocking without being totally out of left field. One of the more recent episodes that I watched, "Eggtown", teases throughout that Kate is pregnant based on the "flash forward" segments in the episode. Only at the end is it revealed that it is actually Claire's baby; the whole issue of Sawyer being a father and the tension it creates with Jack is a diversion.

This is a good, simple and logical plot point. A lot of Lost operates similar to a street magician - While you are focused on Major Plot Issue A of an episode, the actual important plot details are in the small but apparent details.

And like most good content creators, it is important to remember that J.J. Abrams doesn't introduce characters just for the sake of having someone new on the show. If you learn a character's name, it normally means they're going to keep popping up, at least until...

- Everyone on Lost either dies or deals with death. At one point or another in the show, every character either: 1) dies 2) kills someone or 3) watches someone die, either on the island or in a flashback. This is an important thing to keep in mind, because if you're ever wondering what's next for a certain character, a safe bet is bleak misery. Even some of the best "sweet" moments are founded on the backs of truly depressing scenes - Charlie's entire death montage, Desmond finally being able to connect with Penelope in "The Constant", Sayid's dismal luck with love yet his eagerness in pursuing it, etc.

If someone isn't dealing with death, then the other common theme of the show is betrayal. By the fourth season, you can really see the intense paranoia sinking into all of the characters, especially Locke. I'm only halfway through season four, so I'm not sure how valid his fears are, but his actions are manic and panicked. Also, the sheer skill of Ben at manipulating Locke and others is terrifying at times. This leads a bit into my third point...

- Jack is still awesome to me. I know, from the flash forwards, it seems like he's going to go nutty very shortly. However, I still feel more empathy toward him than other characters because he is willing to sacrifice his own desires for the good of the group on a consistent basis.

Things got a little too weird for me at points of season three. Too many of the scenes with The Others are shrouded in completely secrecy, so it was hard to have any clue about the true intentions of Jack, Ben, Juliet, Locke, Sawyer and practically every character on the show.

Jack lost some of his moral fortitude, but I think he has reclaimed it - at least so far - with his strong decision to go after the radio signal at the end of season three, as opposed to succumbing to his lust for revenge. I've made this comparison before, but I think Jack parallels Luke Skywalker from Star Wars. A lot of people dislike the character because it doesn't have the flair or ambiguity of someone flashier (Han Solo / Sawyer), but you still need his presence as a sort of "rock" of morality, like Ralph in Lord of the Flies. If everyone is some swash-buckling asshole, there isn't enough contrast among the characters.

This all dovetails into my final point...

- I have a visceral dislike of Locke now. I have an up-and-down relationship with him; in the premiere episode of season one, I initially thought he was evil, which gradually gave way to ambivalence and like as more of his background was revealed.

However, I am now firmly in the dislike column because of his actions in seasons three and four. At best, he appears to be like a suspicious native, given his intense belief in mysticism and coincidence. At worst, he is a poor man's version of Ben, manipulating innocent people in order to selfishly preserve his access to the Island's healing effect on his paralysis.

Of course, this opinion could change as I watch the rest of season four and all of season five, in preparation for the Tuesday, February 2 premiere of season six. I think this of one of the strongest points of Lost: It is masterful as creating a sense of paranoia, in the viewer, that mirrors that of the people on the island at times. I intensely dislike Locke right now, and Ben as well, but I still have to be guarded and open to the idea that there is really is a good explanation for their actions. The character motivations are almost constantly shifting, meaning there is the potential for surprise in every episode.

Anyway, this is all I have for now on the topic. I might post another entry on this later in the week on some of the excellent accessory characters if I feel up to it.