As the name of this post applies, don't read this post if you don't want to know spoilers for the season premiere of LOST. In lieu of a picture, please enjoy this montage of Claire craving her baby. Huge, huge spoilers no doubt appear right after this...
9 p.m. - We begin the episode on the Island, as Ben scrambles out of the Temple, and runs into Ilana and some others. He suggests that they retreat to the beach, and the others agree.
In Bizarro LAX, Ben is teaching European history to a high school class, and of course, there are some parallels between his lesson on Elba and Napoleon and his situation now. And of course, one of his co-teachers is the nerdy science teacher who dies from the exploding TNT. This leads to another "coincidence" scene, as Locke the Substitute suggests to Ben that he become the principal, and he'd listen to him if he was the leader. ooooo.
On the Island, Ilana hands Miles the bandanna from Jacob's body, and asks about his death. Miles does his freaky mind-meld thing, and discovers that Ben Linus killed Jacob. "Uh oh," as one of the character says.
9:08 p.m. - We stick with the Island through the break, and Ben, Ilana, Miles and company have already made it to the beach. It is only a quick scene though, as Ben tries to get back in Ilana's good graces, to no avail.
In Bizarro LAX, Ben is taking care of his elderly father, who is on some sort of oxygen mask. In some more plot revelation, Ben's father DID take him to the Island, but they both apparently left at some point, which has caused his father regret - What would have become of his life? And THEN, shockingly, Alex (Ben's "daughter" from the Island) is now one of his prized pupils in History Club!
On the Island, Ilana knows that Sun or Jin are candidates, and she tells Sun. But, only six are left alive, and like Fake Locke, she doesn't know whether Sun or Jin is the candidate.
In another plot line, Hurley and Jack are apparently in this episode as well. At first, it appears like we're headed for a Hurley slapstick episode, but then Richard pops up out of nowhere. He convinces Jack to follow him back to the Temple instead of going with Hurley.
On the beach, Ben and the Pilot exchange some light dialogue, until Ilana presses a gun up to Ben's neck. She has him march out to a clearing, and then ties him spread eagle on a tree. She tells him to start digging a grave - For himself.
9:17 p.m. - In Bizarro LAX, we find out that Alex's mom (Rousseau?) works two jobs to support her. Also, her principal and Ben's boss is a pervert. Nice?
On the Island, Miles brings some food to Ben. He reveals that right up until Jacob got stabbed through the heart, he was hoping that he was wrong about Ben. Awwww.
On the other part of the Island, Hurley starts asking Richard about why he is still alive and doesn't age, which is pretty comical. It is not time travel, or a Terminator thing. Richard tells them both that everyone at the Temple is dead, and he wanders off, telling them that he's going to go die now. (I'm presuming that like Tuck Everlasting, Richard views his immortal status as a blessing and a curse now.)
9:30 p.m. - In Bizarro LAX, Ben starts scheming to get the principal fired. He asks the Bio Teacher to hack the nurse's e-mail account, and he agrees, in exchange for a better parking spot. He then jokes, "Linus you're a real killer!" Ha ha ha!
Back on the Island, Ben is still digging his own grave, and then we flash over to Richard exploring the wrecked ship that he came to the Island on. He is toying around with dynamite, and says that he can't die because Jacob touched him. He expresses disbelief with Jacob, and says that he wasted his life, and asks Jack to kill him. Jack lights the fuse for him. However, he then sits by him and says that it is time to talk. Commercial!
9:40 p.m. - Thankfully, we are back to the Island, and Jack and Richard with the dynamite. He asks Richard the Lighthouse, of which he seemingly has no answer for, and as the dynamite fuse burns down, it extinguishes. Jack is now apparently the man of faith, since he trusts his life to the idea that Jacob won't let him die. He says they'll go back to the beach now.
We flash over to the beach, and Fake Locke is trying to talk Ben into leading the Island when he leaves with the others. He invites Ben to come to the Hydra station on the other island with him, to save his own skin, and tells him where a rifle is to shoot Ilana. He hesitates for a second, and then runs.
Back to Bizarro LAX, Ben has 30 e-mails that cover a three-month period between the principal and the nurse. He tries to blackmail the principal into resigning... and he reveals that he has gotten the e-mail from Alex Rousseau (ooo!) and will torch her "life" (wording mine) with a bad recommendation to Yale. This clearly parallels the situation when Alex was held hostage by Ben's lust for power, and now, we have a redux of it.
Oddly enough, back on the Island, Ben almost immediately brings this up. He gets to the rifle first and doesn't shoot Ilana, and instead, confesses that he was angry when he killed Jacob, because Alex died because of his decision, and Jacob never let him in on what the plan was. He breaks down and says he'll go with Fake Locke because no one else will have him, at which point, Ilana says that she'll take him. As the show fades to a commercial, Ben follows her instead of going with Fake Locke.
9:54 p.m. - We start back from the final break with Ben in the principal's office, but we find out that he didn't screw up Alex's life this time. Awww.
Back on the Island and the beach, Ben makes his way back to the camp, like a puppy with its tail between its legs. He offers to help Sun out making some huts. And as the sad music plays - you know, the usual sad LOST-y music - Hurley, Jack and Richard have made it back to the beach.
To end the episode, hey, I guess the submarine works now! And Charles Widmore is in it!!! An officer asks him if he wants to stop with the plan, because there are people on the Island, and he says no. How mysterious! What is Charlie Ballgame up to now?
A random collection of commentary on the 1990s, sports, pop culture, video games, journalism, writing and ego. You know, like every other blog in existence. Except written by me. Oh, and also, my cat wrote a few entries too.
Showing posts with label liveblogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label liveblogging. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
DON'T READ THIS: Blogging LOST, Week 3
In keeping with last week, here is another running diary of LOST. Of course, huge spoilers on this week's episode follows, and as always, Amanda and Tom will be providing some commentary as well.
9 p.m. - A short recap this week, and we're apparently going to be following Locke (and hopefully Fake Locke) for a bit. In Bizarro LAX, he's getting out of his van with the fancy ramp, which stalls and makes him fall down on to the lawn, with the sprinklers smacking him in the face. How farcical and morbidly funny! And hey, Peg Bundy is back as his girlfriend! That's nice that he has love again. She finds the card from Dr. Jack Shepard in his clothes, and says maybe it's destiny that they ran into each other. Nifty, huh?
The scene shifts to the Smoke Monster. It hovers outside of a building in the Others' village for a bit, and then finally forms around a machete, which Fake Locke takes. He had Richard tied up in a trap, but finally chops him down. First commercial break.
9:07 p.m. - Short break, as we're back to Locke in his office. And his evil boss Randy is harassing him about his walkabout, and then shitcans him for lying about attending the conference. Aw, poor Locke.
We move to Fake Locke on the Island. He mentions that he knew Locke's appearance would gain him access to Jacob, because Locke is a "candidate." Fake Locke tries to appeal to Richard by saying that he'll tell him everything as opposed to keeping him in the dark, but Richard refuses to join him. Fake Locke is then seemingly going to kill him, but gets distracted by something, and lets him go.
Flash to Ben on the Island. He's talking to Alana or Illana or whatever her name is - Amanda and I don't know. Amanda comes up with the name Wannabe Jackass, which seems appropriate. WJ says that Fake Locke is now "recruiting."
Fake Locke is now going through the cottage with the music from earlier; a vinyl is playing on a record. In another room, James (Sawyer) is drinking himself into a stupor - It seems like Fake Locke has his first recruitment target.
Amanda: Oh God damn it he is sexy. Even as a brooding alcoholic with a broken heart. And absolutely NO good can come from this. Well I mean, really. Locke is clearly this insane Smoke Monster with a plan. And Sawyer is VERY vulnerable and angry right now. He's got a hairline temper and is liable to fly off the handle at any second. If Locke starts devising crazy plans, Sawyer could go along with it. And shit will go down.
9:18 p.m. - Back from the second commercial break, we're sticking with Sawyer and Fake Locke. (Sawyer is in his underwear and a wife-beater, hence Amanda's great like.) Amanda says, "How'd Sawyer get so dirty? ;) I think that LOST and Intervention could have an amazing crossover episode."
Wow, Sawyer catches on right away that Fake Locke is fake. Fake Locke says he can answer the most important question in the world - Why Sawyer is on the Island. And even drunk, Sawyer gets in some good zingers, but agrees to go .
Amanda: NO. 1) Don't go with him. 2) NO PANTS!
We flash to Bizarro LAX. Hugo Reyes, the OWNER of Locke's company, has a confrontation with him outside of his (former) job. He offers him a new job with his temp agency.
Now we're on the beach. Wannabe Jackass covers up the corpse of Locke, and says they should go to the Temple, luring Sun with her by saying that Jin might be there. They postpone their plans though to bury Locke.
Flash over to Fake Locke and Sawyer, and Fake Locke sees a kid in the jungle. He chases after him, eventually falling at his feet. In an eerie similarity to Real Locke, the kid tells him that he knows the rules and can't kill, which causes Fake Locke to scream, "Don't tell me what I can't do!" Third commercial break.
Tom: Tween Jacob. Can't wait for LOST babies - It'll be better than Muppet Babies.
9:28 p.m. - Back on the Island, Richard catches up to Sawyer and warns him that Fake Locke will lie to him. Richard runs, and Fake Locke and Sawyer have an awkward exchange.
In Bizarro LAX, Locke and Rose has a short exchange. She runs the temp agency, and apparently, she still has terminal cancer. Aw. But she convinces Locke to take a more realistic job, as opposed to construction foreman.
Back on the Island, Sawyer and Fake Locke are walking through the woods. Sawyer talks about Of Mice and Men, which Fake Locke has no recollection of, and Sawyer pulls a gun on him, asking him what will happen if he pumps a slug into his brain. Fake Locke says he used to be a man, like Sawyer, and lures him into further intrigue and not shoot him.
9:38 p.m. - Apparently, according to a conversation between Wannabe Jackass and Ben, Fake Locke is stuck in his current form for some reason. They stick Locke in the ground, and Ben does a short eulogy. "John Locke was a... believer. He was a man of faith, he was a much better man than I will ever be and I'm very sorry I murdered him." The Pilot gets in a pretty nifty line right after, "Weirdest damn funeral I've ever been to." Nice.
We flip to Bizarro LAX, and Locke is calling for Jack. But he gets the secretary and doesn't talk! Eeck. Locke confesses to Helen that he got fired, and of course, right as he does, the doorbell rings. The airplane company found his baggage. Locke tells Helen that he lied about the conference, and has her open the case, which was full of his knives. He says he wasn't allowed on the walkabout. "I'm sick of imagining what my life would be out of this chair." Helen and Locke kiss passionately, after she rips up Jack's card. nooooooo!
Flash over to the Island with Fake Locke and Sawyer. They apparently have to climb down a ladder on a cliff, to God knows where. One of the steps snaps as Sawyer tries to climb down it, and then, the ladder detaches from the face of the cliff. Fake Locke grabs Sawyer as he dangles, and they manage to make it to the outcrop they were shooting for. It is a small cavern with a scale, with a black rock and a white rock balancing each other. Fake Locke throws the white rock out into the water, and then lights a torch to show him why he's there - There is some sort of mural on the wall, with his name and various others. Shocking! And we hit another commercial break.
Tom: I hope they're going to explain something in the last 10 minutes.
9:53 p.m. - In Bizarro LAX, Locke is somehow watching kids run laps, and then teaching them about... the human reproductive system. I guess he's a substitute teacher. And Ben Linus teaches European history! What a weird turn of events.
We flip over to the Island, where Fake Locke is showing Sawyer around Jacob's cave. Each main cast member corresponds to a number, and Fake Locke says that Jacob was pushing all of them toward the Island. Fake Locke says they are all "candidates" to become the protector of the Island, and then says that there is no need for a Protector. Fake Locke also crosses out Locke's name on the wall. Fake Locke asks Sawyer if he's ready to go home, and Sawyer says, "Hell yes."
Amanda: I'm not buying it, Locke. If it's that easy, why are you still there? Sorry. There's more to it than this.
9 p.m. - A short recap this week, and we're apparently going to be following Locke (and hopefully Fake Locke) for a bit. In Bizarro LAX, he's getting out of his van with the fancy ramp, which stalls and makes him fall down on to the lawn, with the sprinklers smacking him in the face. How farcical and morbidly funny! And hey, Peg Bundy is back as his girlfriend! That's nice that he has love again. She finds the card from Dr. Jack Shepard in his clothes, and says maybe it's destiny that they ran into each other. Nifty, huh?
The scene shifts to the Smoke Monster. It hovers outside of a building in the Others' village for a bit, and then finally forms around a machete, which Fake Locke takes. He had Richard tied up in a trap, but finally chops him down. First commercial break.
9:07 p.m. - Short break, as we're back to Locke in his office. And his evil boss Randy is harassing him about his walkabout, and then shitcans him for lying about attending the conference. Aw, poor Locke.
We move to Fake Locke on the Island. He mentions that he knew Locke's appearance would gain him access to Jacob, because Locke is a "candidate." Fake Locke tries to appeal to Richard by saying that he'll tell him everything as opposed to keeping him in the dark, but Richard refuses to join him. Fake Locke is then seemingly going to kill him, but gets distracted by something, and lets him go.
Flash to Ben on the Island. He's talking to Alana or Illana or whatever her name is - Amanda and I don't know. Amanda comes up with the name Wannabe Jackass, which seems appropriate. WJ says that Fake Locke is now "recruiting."
Fake Locke is now going through the cottage with the music from earlier; a vinyl is playing on a record. In another room, James (Sawyer) is drinking himself into a stupor - It seems like Fake Locke has his first recruitment target.
Amanda: Oh God damn it he is sexy. Even as a brooding alcoholic with a broken heart. And absolutely NO good can come from this. Well I mean, really. Locke is clearly this insane Smoke Monster with a plan. And Sawyer is VERY vulnerable and angry right now. He's got a hairline temper and is liable to fly off the handle at any second. If Locke starts devising crazy plans, Sawyer could go along with it. And shit will go down.
9:18 p.m. - Back from the second commercial break, we're sticking with Sawyer and Fake Locke. (Sawyer is in his underwear and a wife-beater, hence Amanda's great like.) Amanda says, "How'd Sawyer get so dirty? ;) I think that LOST and Intervention could have an amazing crossover episode."
Wow, Sawyer catches on right away that Fake Locke is fake. Fake Locke says he can answer the most important question in the world - Why Sawyer is on the Island. And even drunk, Sawyer gets in some good zingers, but agrees to go .
Amanda: NO. 1) Don't go with him. 2) NO PANTS!
We flash to Bizarro LAX. Hugo Reyes, the OWNER of Locke's company, has a confrontation with him outside of his (former) job. He offers him a new job with his temp agency.
Now we're on the beach. Wannabe Jackass covers up the corpse of Locke, and says they should go to the Temple, luring Sun with her by saying that Jin might be there. They postpone their plans though to bury Locke.
Flash over to Fake Locke and Sawyer, and Fake Locke sees a kid in the jungle. He chases after him, eventually falling at his feet. In an eerie similarity to Real Locke, the kid tells him that he knows the rules and can't kill, which causes Fake Locke to scream, "Don't tell me what I can't do!" Third commercial break.
Tom: Tween Jacob. Can't wait for LOST babies - It'll be better than Muppet Babies.
9:28 p.m. - Back on the Island, Richard catches up to Sawyer and warns him that Fake Locke will lie to him. Richard runs, and Fake Locke and Sawyer have an awkward exchange.
In Bizarro LAX, Locke and Rose has a short exchange. She runs the temp agency, and apparently, she still has terminal cancer. Aw. But she convinces Locke to take a more realistic job, as opposed to construction foreman.
Back on the Island, Sawyer and Fake Locke are walking through the woods. Sawyer talks about Of Mice and Men, which Fake Locke has no recollection of, and Sawyer pulls a gun on him, asking him what will happen if he pumps a slug into his brain. Fake Locke says he used to be a man, like Sawyer, and lures him into further intrigue and not shoot him.
9:38 p.m. - Apparently, according to a conversation between Wannabe Jackass and Ben, Fake Locke is stuck in his current form for some reason. They stick Locke in the ground, and Ben does a short eulogy. "John Locke was a... believer. He was a man of faith, he was a much better man than I will ever be and I'm very sorry I murdered him." The Pilot gets in a pretty nifty line right after, "Weirdest damn funeral I've ever been to." Nice.
We flip to Bizarro LAX, and Locke is calling for Jack. But he gets the secretary and doesn't talk! Eeck. Locke confesses to Helen that he got fired, and of course, right as he does, the doorbell rings. The airplane company found his baggage. Locke tells Helen that he lied about the conference, and has her open the case, which was full of his knives. He says he wasn't allowed on the walkabout. "I'm sick of imagining what my life would be out of this chair." Helen and Locke kiss passionately, after she rips up Jack's card. nooooooo!
Flash over to the Island with Fake Locke and Sawyer. They apparently have to climb down a ladder on a cliff, to God knows where. One of the steps snaps as Sawyer tries to climb down it, and then, the ladder detaches from the face of the cliff. Fake Locke grabs Sawyer as he dangles, and they manage to make it to the outcrop they were shooting for. It is a small cavern with a scale, with a black rock and a white rock balancing each other. Fake Locke throws the white rock out into the water, and then lights a torch to show him why he's there - There is some sort of mural on the wall, with his name and various others. Shocking! And we hit another commercial break.
Tom: I hope they're going to explain something in the last 10 minutes.
9:53 p.m. - In Bizarro LAX, Locke is somehow watching kids run laps, and then teaching them about... the human reproductive system. I guess he's a substitute teacher. And Ben Linus teaches European history! What a weird turn of events.
We flip over to the Island, where Fake Locke is showing Sawyer around Jacob's cave. Each main cast member corresponds to a number, and Fake Locke says that Jacob was pushing all of them toward the Island. Fake Locke says they are all "candidates" to become the protector of the Island, and then says that there is no need for a Protector. Fake Locke also crosses out Locke's name on the wall. Fake Locke asks Sawyer if he's ready to go home, and Sawyer says, "Hell yes."
Amanda: I'm not buying it, Locke. If it's that easy, why are you still there? Sorry. There's more to it than this.
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Tuesday, February 2, 2010
DON'T READ THIS: Liveblogging the LOST season opener
As the name of this post applies, don't read this post if you don't want to know spoilers for the season premiere of LOST. My friend Amanda is assisting with portions, and if you have any comments, feel free to PM me at ChemBros15. Huge, huge spoilers no doubt appear right after this...
9 p.m. - My friend Amanda spots a change right in the opening seconds, as Jack, in the original crash, got two bottles from the stewardess. And I seem to be right in my initial diagnosis that the plane crash wouldn't happen because of the actions of Juliet and what not.
As a result, Jack finds a dab of blood on his neck, and Desmond is next to him in his seat. Hey wait a second... Desmond wasn't originally on the plane! The mystery continues... Now we cut to under the water, with a picture of the giant foot statue thing. No other explanation, and we're at the first commercial break. (Amanda adds, "What the fuck? Why is this CGI SO BAD? Don't they have a big budget?"
9:10 p.m. - The episode resumes and we flashback to Juliet starting everything back in the past again. What the heck? How did Kate get into a tree? And why is the sound all messed up?
Amanda: I assume that's why the sound is effed up, since a bomb went off IN HER EARS.
Good call by Amanda. And sweet, Miles is still alive and what not! He was one of my favorite cast additions. The camera pans around after Kate says, "We're back," and it is revealed that they're both on the Island, after the Swan explosion. And hey, JACK is there too! And Sawyer comes out of nowhere to smack Jack across the face!
Amanda: SAWYER <3 kicking ass THEN taking names! After that scene, we switch to Jack back on the plane, and Kate (and her FBI agent friend) are still there. Kate bumps into Jack, so she obviously took something from him. Sawyer is on the plane as well, bringing up the idea of parallel universes or time splits or something similar. Hurley's luck has apparently changed, as he notes that "nothing bad ever happens to me." Another scene switch, and we're with Hurley, Sayid (still badly wounded) and Jin. Kate goes to inspect the wreckage of the Swan, and Juliet is buried underneath! Aw!
Meanwhile, Hurley consoles a dying Sayid, since Jack is probably helping out the hot blonde right now. (I would too.) The ominous music plays as Hurley hears something in the wood, and he turns around to see... Jacob! I guess that mofo is still alive, in some form or universe, and that gets us to the second commercial break at 9:21 EST.
9:23 p.m. - We're back, and Sun and Jin are playing kissy-poo a bit, and Locke and Boone are having a little chat. Amanda guarantees that Locke can walk now, and I agree. The scene then switches over to "Locke" (or whatever is possessing his body) and Ben; Ben is aghast that Jacob didn't fight back and just let him stab him. Another scene switch, and we're outside with Captain Frank and Sun. There is also friction between Richard and the New Others (which would make for a great rock band name). Ben goes to tell Richard that "Locke" wants to talk to him, and Richard shows Ben the corpse of Locke out on the beach. Ahhhh, another commercial! DRAMA!
Amanda: I like that Ben is at a disadvantage. Glad to see he doesn't have all the answers for once. His smug ass deserves it.
9:34 p.m. - Back again, with Jacob chatting to Hurley. Jacob is aware of his own death, and my friend Tom hypothesizes that the smoke monster is the thing possessing Locke.
Meanwhile, we flip back to the plane, and the stewardess / New Others member asks Jack the Doctor to help her with a guy locked in the restroom. Of course, it is Charlie, who has OD'ed - That was kind of easy to predict though. The show goes to commercial again, with his fate in the balance; I imagine that Jack brings him back to life somehow.
Amanda: OD. Sorry, badass musician, your luck ran out. But you make one sexy dead man. (Disclaimer: I am not a necrophiliac.) In all seriousness, a little Charlie Pace does the eyes good. I'm interested to see if he will play a bit of a role this season.
Eh, I just think he does a one-off. Maybe a few episodes here and there.
Amanda: Stop dashing my dreams, Greenwell.
9:40 p.m. - We're back, with Jack trying to clear Charlie's airway, and finding his baggie of heroin. He apparently choked on it, trying to keyster it. So, not technically an OD, although just about. He is apparently the only one who did not have a happy life with the time reset.
The scene switches to the Time Warp Gang trying to use the van to move the heavy machinery out of the way, so that they can try to dig Juliet out. She is soaked in blood, but seemingly conscious, and is playing a bit of kissy-kissy with Sawyer. Juliet realizes they're still on the Island, and reveals that she hit the bomb and detonated it.
Amanda: This is one hell of a love story. I'm glad James is so emotional these days.
Switching again, Jack and Hurley are talking about Jacob, who neither of them know; too bad they weren't in Locke's secret crew. Hurley stresses that he needs to take Sayid to Jacob's place. We switch again to the beach, and Ben and Richard are having a heart-to-heart.
Richard refuses to come into the shrine, but "Jacob's bodyguards" do. They try to shoot Evil Locke, and my friend Tom appears to be right, as the Smoke Monster appears again to mess up the bodyguards. One of them manages to keep him away for a few seconds by drawing a circle on the ground and standing in it, but the Smoke Monster makes him get out of it. Evil Locke says, "I'm sorry you had to see me like that," confirming that he is indeed most definitely the Smoke Monster. Plus Five for Tom.
Amanda: Holy disappearance Batman! You were RIGHT! (Referring to Tom.) He is in fact Old Smokey. And Old Smokey is my new petname for the monster. It sounds less mean. (After Evil Locke confirms that he is the Smoke Monster.) Badass.
9:52 p.m. - Sawyer and Juliet are again making kissy-faces as she dies. Uh, good times? They share a very, very dirty kiss, and by dirty, I mean physically unclean. Juliet says, "I have to tell you something," which on LOST is never a good thing, and then she dies. And Sawyer is Pissed at Jack, with the capital a definite.
Amanda: I think this moment just surpassed Titanic as far as my "romantic goodbye while dying moment."
We switch scenes again to the plane, with Charlie telling Jack he was supposed to die. Desmond is now missing again, of course. (Tom hypothesizes that the Smoke Monster is Desmond at this point in time, or in this universe, or whatever, and materialized into the plane as it passed over the Island.) It looks like the first hour is ending with a pretty routine landing, as everyone is buckling up for the descent into LAX, the name of the first episode... And then there are some cops on the plane, coming for Charlie.
However, the rest of the stuff seems pretty routine, with the passengers getting off. Unfortunately, it seems like Amanda and I were wrong, and Locke can't walk. And thus ends the first hour.
Amanda: I'm sad about Locke's legs. My cousin and his girlfriend are trying to watch - They have never seen LOST before. I am trying to recap and they think I'm nuts.
10:04 p.m. - Sawyer is now going through the trouble of burying Juliet. Kate says she'll leave a trail for him to follow as they try to save Sayid, but he says he ain't followin' no one. The others - Jack, Kate, Sawyer - leaves, while Sawyer and Miles hang back.
Scene switch to LAX, and Jack's dad is missing! Uh oh. They can't find Christian, as the airline says they have no idea where the coffin is. Good times, good times.
The crew brings Sayid to the Temple, where they find a skeleton with a missing arm and a book. After some more exploring, they find a spiral staircase further down, and some whispering voices get into Kate's ear. Jack alls out for her, and she doesn't seem to be responding, and he runs around looking for her. Then Jack runs back, because he can't find Hurley, and he gets punched out by... some weird guys in turbans! And then it reveals the actual Temple that was hidden by the wall.
Man, LOST is even more confusing than usual tonight... I keep having to ask Tom and Amanda what certain things are called. Like, I barely remember all of this Temple business.
10:15 p.m. - We're back, and Kate is up to her old tricks. She gets the FBI agent to take her to the bathroom, where she works on loosening up her handcuffs. She gets the jump on him, because he doesn't notice that she's not pissing or taking a dump. And of course, who does she meet in the elevator? Sawyer! Aw, they're thick as thieves already.
Amanda: "Well if it's confidential how am I supposed to know if I see one?" That is the kind of wit and charm that steals a girl's heart.
Then, we go to the Island, where Sawyer is burying Juliet's body. mwhahaha. I laughed like an evil person for some reason. Miles and Sawyer are bonding, as Sawyer realizes that Miles can talk to dead people. Juliet's final message to Sawyer? "It worked."
We switch again to the present time, where the weird group of natives is threatening to shoot the gang. But Hurley reveals what is inside the case for them - A wooden cross! The leader guy breaks it over his knee, and inside is a note from Jacob, presumably. This seems to smooth things over a bit, and they decide to bring Sayid to the Spring. Hurley wants to know what the paper says, and Hippie Richard Alpert says that if Sayid dies, they're all in a lot of trouble.
10:29 p.m. - We're back at the airport, as Jin and Sun are being detained by security. He has a bunch of cash on him, and a fancy watch, and Sun may or may not speak English any more, which presents a bit of a problem for Jin, who is led away by police. Sun does look like she is dressed much more conservatively, so she might not realize Jin's history anymore.
Scene skip to the Spring, where one of the natives cuts his hand and dips it into the water - I bet it is some sort of restorative fountain, but it doesn't seem to be working exactly correctly, judging from the Asian guy who cut his hand and then tried to fix it by dipping it in the water. He seemingly comes back to life, but then they drown him further? It is hard to tell exactly what happens.
Amanda: Sometimes, in my free time, I like to cut my hands open with knives, dip them in fountains, and then speak vaguely in a foreign language. I also have a vast collection of large hourglasses. And I drown Arabs.
And now, the Chinese leader dude says, "Your friend is dead." Amanda says, "We're all in big trouble." I'm also wondering what the heck is going on, since it fades to a commercial after Jack tries to give CPR to Sayid, failing. Amanda and Tom also have no idea where this is going.
10:40 p.m. - We're back after a pretty long break, with Kate trying to find her way out of the airport as her picture is circulated among the police. She manages to get her way to a taxi JUST as the FBI guy spots her, so she hijacks the cab, pulling a gun on him and making him drive away. And oh, by the way, Claire is in the cab with her!
Amanda: Oh HI CLAIRE.
Back to the Temple, they manage to find Miles and Sawyer, who was knocked out by a rock. Hurley is brought to the room with the Chinese guy, and spills that Jacob is dead, which makes everyone freak out. They start fortifying the place to protect against, I presume, the Smoke Monster.
We flip to Evil Locke and Ben, who are having a heart to heart. Ben rightly guesses that Smokey couldn't kill Jacob, and Evil Locke reveals Locke's last thought - "I just don't understand." Evil Locke then goes into a bit of a siloliquoy about how Locke was admirable, because he was weak and became strong, and because he didn't want to leave the Island. However, he then drops the bombshell that he wants what Locke didn't - To go home. So where is Evil Locke's home??? Ahhhh!
10:52 p.m. - Back to the Temple we go, where Sawyer is alive and what not. (Hey, at least not everyone is dead.) Sawyer says he won't kill Jack, because he deserves to "suffer on this rock like the rest of us."
The scene switches to Jack talking to his mom on the phone about the missing body of his dad, and then Locke and him are chatting a bit. After a little chat, Jack gives Locke his card, saying that nothing is reversible, and hinting that he might be able to fix his spine.
Amanda: If the rest of the season goes on in this parallel universe where they all becomes friends in L.A. I am going to go down to ABC and bomb the place.
Back to the beach, Evil Locke chats with Richard for a few seconds before quickly beating the snot out of him. Richard was apparently in chains at some point, although we have no indication why.
The episode ends with Hippie Alpert trying to convince Jack to come with him for a bit, but he resists. Hurley calls out to Jack, only for the Hippie to notice that... Sayid is still alive! Gasp!
Amanda: This is too weird. Even for LOST. WTF to the last two hours of my life!
I agree! Man. What the frick is going on? I think this is going to take a few more episodes to develop, unfortunately, with even more questions than answers for a while.
9 p.m. - My friend Amanda spots a change right in the opening seconds, as Jack, in the original crash, got two bottles from the stewardess. And I seem to be right in my initial diagnosis that the plane crash wouldn't happen because of the actions of Juliet and what not.
As a result, Jack finds a dab of blood on his neck, and Desmond is next to him in his seat. Hey wait a second... Desmond wasn't originally on the plane! The mystery continues... Now we cut to under the water, with a picture of the giant foot statue thing. No other explanation, and we're at the first commercial break. (Amanda adds, "What the fuck? Why is this CGI SO BAD? Don't they have a big budget?"
9:10 p.m. - The episode resumes and we flashback to Juliet starting everything back in the past again. What the heck? How did Kate get into a tree? And why is the sound all messed up?
Amanda: I assume that's why the sound is effed up, since a bomb went off IN HER EARS.
Good call by Amanda. And sweet, Miles is still alive and what not! He was one of my favorite cast additions. The camera pans around after Kate says, "We're back," and it is revealed that they're both on the Island, after the Swan explosion. And hey, JACK is there too! And Sawyer comes out of nowhere to smack Jack across the face!
Amanda: SAWYER <3 kicking ass THEN taking names! After that scene, we switch to Jack back on the plane, and Kate (and her FBI agent friend) are still there. Kate bumps into Jack, so she obviously took something from him. Sawyer is on the plane as well, bringing up the idea of parallel universes or time splits or something similar. Hurley's luck has apparently changed, as he notes that "nothing bad ever happens to me." Another scene switch, and we're with Hurley, Sayid (still badly wounded) and Jin. Kate goes to inspect the wreckage of the Swan, and Juliet is buried underneath! Aw!
Meanwhile, Hurley consoles a dying Sayid, since Jack is probably helping out the hot blonde right now. (I would too.) The ominous music plays as Hurley hears something in the wood, and he turns around to see... Jacob! I guess that mofo is still alive, in some form or universe, and that gets us to the second commercial break at 9:21 EST.
9:23 p.m. - We're back, and Sun and Jin are playing kissy-poo a bit, and Locke and Boone are having a little chat. Amanda guarantees that Locke can walk now, and I agree. The scene then switches over to "Locke" (or whatever is possessing his body) and Ben; Ben is aghast that Jacob didn't fight back and just let him stab him. Another scene switch, and we're outside with Captain Frank and Sun. There is also friction between Richard and the New Others (which would make for a great rock band name). Ben goes to tell Richard that "Locke" wants to talk to him, and Richard shows Ben the corpse of Locke out on the beach. Ahhhh, another commercial! DRAMA!
Amanda: I like that Ben is at a disadvantage. Glad to see he doesn't have all the answers for once. His smug ass deserves it.
9:34 p.m. - Back again, with Jacob chatting to Hurley. Jacob is aware of his own death, and my friend Tom hypothesizes that the smoke monster is the thing possessing Locke.
Meanwhile, we flip back to the plane, and the stewardess / New Others member asks Jack the Doctor to help her with a guy locked in the restroom. Of course, it is Charlie, who has OD'ed - That was kind of easy to predict though. The show goes to commercial again, with his fate in the balance; I imagine that Jack brings him back to life somehow.
Amanda: OD. Sorry, badass musician, your luck ran out. But you make one sexy dead man. (Disclaimer: I am not a necrophiliac.) In all seriousness, a little Charlie Pace does the eyes good. I'm interested to see if he will play a bit of a role this season.
Eh, I just think he does a one-off. Maybe a few episodes here and there.
Amanda: Stop dashing my dreams, Greenwell.
9:40 p.m. - We're back, with Jack trying to clear Charlie's airway, and finding his baggie of heroin. He apparently choked on it, trying to keyster it. So, not technically an OD, although just about. He is apparently the only one who did not have a happy life with the time reset.
The scene switches to the Time Warp Gang trying to use the van to move the heavy machinery out of the way, so that they can try to dig Juliet out. She is soaked in blood, but seemingly conscious, and is playing a bit of kissy-kissy with Sawyer. Juliet realizes they're still on the Island, and reveals that she hit the bomb and detonated it.
Amanda: This is one hell of a love story. I'm glad James is so emotional these days.
Switching again, Jack and Hurley are talking about Jacob, who neither of them know; too bad they weren't in Locke's secret crew. Hurley stresses that he needs to take Sayid to Jacob's place. We switch again to the beach, and Ben and Richard are having a heart-to-heart.
Richard refuses to come into the shrine, but "Jacob's bodyguards" do. They try to shoot Evil Locke, and my friend Tom appears to be right, as the Smoke Monster appears again to mess up the bodyguards. One of them manages to keep him away for a few seconds by drawing a circle on the ground and standing in it, but the Smoke Monster makes him get out of it. Evil Locke says, "I'm sorry you had to see me like that," confirming that he is indeed most definitely the Smoke Monster. Plus Five for Tom.
Amanda: Holy disappearance Batman! You were RIGHT! (Referring to Tom.) He is in fact Old Smokey. And Old Smokey is my new petname for the monster. It sounds less mean. (After Evil Locke confirms that he is the Smoke Monster.) Badass.
9:52 p.m. - Sawyer and Juliet are again making kissy-faces as she dies. Uh, good times? They share a very, very dirty kiss, and by dirty, I mean physically unclean. Juliet says, "I have to tell you something," which on LOST is never a good thing, and then she dies. And Sawyer is Pissed at Jack, with the capital a definite.
Amanda: I think this moment just surpassed Titanic as far as my "romantic goodbye while dying moment."
We switch scenes again to the plane, with Charlie telling Jack he was supposed to die. Desmond is now missing again, of course. (Tom hypothesizes that the Smoke Monster is Desmond at this point in time, or in this universe, or whatever, and materialized into the plane as it passed over the Island.) It looks like the first hour is ending with a pretty routine landing, as everyone is buckling up for the descent into LAX, the name of the first episode... And then there are some cops on the plane, coming for Charlie.
However, the rest of the stuff seems pretty routine, with the passengers getting off. Unfortunately, it seems like Amanda and I were wrong, and Locke can't walk. And thus ends the first hour.
Amanda: I'm sad about Locke's legs. My cousin and his girlfriend are trying to watch - They have never seen LOST before. I am trying to recap and they think I'm nuts.
10:04 p.m. - Sawyer is now going through the trouble of burying Juliet. Kate says she'll leave a trail for him to follow as they try to save Sayid, but he says he ain't followin' no one. The others - Jack, Kate, Sawyer - leaves, while Sawyer and Miles hang back.
Scene switch to LAX, and Jack's dad is missing! Uh oh. They can't find Christian, as the airline says they have no idea where the coffin is. Good times, good times.
The crew brings Sayid to the Temple, where they find a skeleton with a missing arm and a book. After some more exploring, they find a spiral staircase further down, and some whispering voices get into Kate's ear. Jack alls out for her, and she doesn't seem to be responding, and he runs around looking for her. Then Jack runs back, because he can't find Hurley, and he gets punched out by... some weird guys in turbans! And then it reveals the actual Temple that was hidden by the wall.
Man, LOST is even more confusing than usual tonight... I keep having to ask Tom and Amanda what certain things are called. Like, I barely remember all of this Temple business.
10:15 p.m. - We're back, and Kate is up to her old tricks. She gets the FBI agent to take her to the bathroom, where she works on loosening up her handcuffs. She gets the jump on him, because he doesn't notice that she's not pissing or taking a dump. And of course, who does she meet in the elevator? Sawyer! Aw, they're thick as thieves already.
Amanda: "Well if it's confidential how am I supposed to know if I see one?" That is the kind of wit and charm that steals a girl's heart.
Then, we go to the Island, where Sawyer is burying Juliet's body. mwhahaha. I laughed like an evil person for some reason. Miles and Sawyer are bonding, as Sawyer realizes that Miles can talk to dead people. Juliet's final message to Sawyer? "It worked."
We switch again to the present time, where the weird group of natives is threatening to shoot the gang. But Hurley reveals what is inside the case for them - A wooden cross! The leader guy breaks it over his knee, and inside is a note from Jacob, presumably. This seems to smooth things over a bit, and they decide to bring Sayid to the Spring. Hurley wants to know what the paper says, and Hippie Richard Alpert says that if Sayid dies, they're all in a lot of trouble.
10:29 p.m. - We're back at the airport, as Jin and Sun are being detained by security. He has a bunch of cash on him, and a fancy watch, and Sun may or may not speak English any more, which presents a bit of a problem for Jin, who is led away by police. Sun does look like she is dressed much more conservatively, so she might not realize Jin's history anymore.
Scene skip to the Spring, where one of the natives cuts his hand and dips it into the water - I bet it is some sort of restorative fountain, but it doesn't seem to be working exactly correctly, judging from the Asian guy who cut his hand and then tried to fix it by dipping it in the water. He seemingly comes back to life, but then they drown him further? It is hard to tell exactly what happens.
Amanda: Sometimes, in my free time, I like to cut my hands open with knives, dip them in fountains, and then speak vaguely in a foreign language. I also have a vast collection of large hourglasses. And I drown Arabs.
And now, the Chinese leader dude says, "Your friend is dead." Amanda says, "We're all in big trouble." I'm also wondering what the heck is going on, since it fades to a commercial after Jack tries to give CPR to Sayid, failing. Amanda and Tom also have no idea where this is going.
10:40 p.m. - We're back after a pretty long break, with Kate trying to find her way out of the airport as her picture is circulated among the police. She manages to get her way to a taxi JUST as the FBI guy spots her, so she hijacks the cab, pulling a gun on him and making him drive away. And oh, by the way, Claire is in the cab with her!
Amanda: Oh HI CLAIRE.
Back to the Temple, they manage to find Miles and Sawyer, who was knocked out by a rock. Hurley is brought to the room with the Chinese guy, and spills that Jacob is dead, which makes everyone freak out. They start fortifying the place to protect against, I presume, the Smoke Monster.
We flip to Evil Locke and Ben, who are having a heart to heart. Ben rightly guesses that Smokey couldn't kill Jacob, and Evil Locke reveals Locke's last thought - "I just don't understand." Evil Locke then goes into a bit of a siloliquoy about how Locke was admirable, because he was weak and became strong, and because he didn't want to leave the Island. However, he then drops the bombshell that he wants what Locke didn't - To go home. So where is Evil Locke's home??? Ahhhh!
10:52 p.m. - Back to the Temple we go, where Sawyer is alive and what not. (Hey, at least not everyone is dead.) Sawyer says he won't kill Jack, because he deserves to "suffer on this rock like the rest of us."
The scene switches to Jack talking to his mom on the phone about the missing body of his dad, and then Locke and him are chatting a bit. After a little chat, Jack gives Locke his card, saying that nothing is reversible, and hinting that he might be able to fix his spine.
Amanda: If the rest of the season goes on in this parallel universe where they all becomes friends in L.A. I am going to go down to ABC and bomb the place.
Back to the beach, Evil Locke chats with Richard for a few seconds before quickly beating the snot out of him. Richard was apparently in chains at some point, although we have no indication why.
The episode ends with Hippie Alpert trying to convince Jack to come with him for a bit, but he resists. Hurley calls out to Jack, only for the Hippie to notice that... Sayid is still alive! Gasp!
Amanda: This is too weird. Even for LOST. WTF to the last two hours of my life!
I agree! Man. What the frick is going on? I think this is going to take a few more episodes to develop, unfortunately, with even more questions than answers for a while.
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