Thursday, August 11, 2011

Subway Virgins

Subway is now such a presence in everyday life that it seems silly to me when people are confused at one. There is a very specific order to every order: Bread type, meat, cheese, to toast or not to toast, toppings and dressings.

However, when I’m using my laptop at the store from time to time, I am reminded that for some, this is their first visit. This is especially interesting when the people act as if they have never had a sandwich made for them in their life.

Example: As I sit here typing this, there are four senior citizens ordering sandwiches. At first, I didn’t think anything was going to come of this, as they seemed quite upset that they couldn’t get a seafood salad sandwich at Subway.

Two of the group persevered though, and decided they would get a foot-long ham sandwich and a foot-long roast beef. From there, things got interesting, as each new decision seemed to bewilder them more and more. One complained that there was too much veggies on his sandwich, which for me is the only reason to go to Subway – If you actually want a decent amount of meat on your sandwich, go buy some deli meat from the store.

Before this day, I wouldn’t have thought that a sandwich purchase was a life and death decision, but for some, it clearly holds great significance. A wrong decision is one that will bring forth the Wrath of God (capital letters).

The whole experience reminded me of my days at Dunkin’ Donuts, when the elderly were also a wonderful (read: not at all wonderful) demographic. Some truly were excellent individuals, and they were more likely to ask how my day was going, and actually seem sincere about it.

However, more were just miserable people, or barely functioning. You know, like the lady who just rolled by the drivethru window with her hand out her car window, because she couldn’t operate the car and the window at the same time. The correct coffee was also a life or death decision, and if it was screwed up, it was of course an error on the server, as opposed to the 75-year-old who wants to haggle with you about the times when coffee only cost 50 cents, and about how the servers would sling it at you with a smile while they also white walled your car tires.


  1. I'm with you on the veggies, that and the cheese are the only reason I go to Subway.

  2. @ The Empress - Agreed, obviously. I like that they have a half-dozen condiments that I like on a sandwich, since it means I don't have to buy them separately as if I was making the sandwich. Also, a $5 foot-long is a good amount of sandwich, whereas several other places near me have better sandwiches that are half the size for around $8.

  3. Subway is gross. Their meat is Grade D, it's like one step above dog food.


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