Saturday, May 16, 2009

The underground soap market

I was replacing the soap in the shower today, as I often do – I enjoy bathing, I must say. Anyway, while doing this, I noticed a curious phrase on the box: Not for individual sale. This immediately made my mind race.

First, if Dove is putting this on the box, it must mean that they've had a problem with it. I mean, otherwise they could have used that space for something more valuable, like some cheesy saying. “Fly among the heavens with Dove.” I believe David Cross or Gallagher (I've got range in the comedians I enjoy) made the same analogy with some ridiculous warning label and McDonald's coffee.

Second, I wonder if these is some elicit soap trade that I just don't know about. The only time I have ever thought about the creation of soap was when they had a few scenes about it in Fight Club, and frankly, I was too busy watching Ed Norton and Brad Pitt beat the shit out of each other to really analyze the soap scenes. (As an aside though, I find Fight Club to beat horribly overrated now. Trading a commercially-oppressive world for one that is full of anarchy and bleakly militaristic seems, at best, a push to me.)

I've never really noticed a big difference from soap brand to soap brand, although some of my ex'es only like to buy a certain kind. Then again, I'm a boy, and I don't even use chapstick, so I might not be an authority on this subject. Maybe there is a flourishing underground market and trade, where people barter five bars of Dove straight-up for three bars of Ivory and four Coasts. It is more interesting to believe that this fanciful market exists, at least in my mind.


  1. now i have finally read all your posts!
    and i believe mcdonald's had to put a Caution: Contents are extremely HOT!! on their coffee cups and lids because some stupid lady drank her coffee like immediately after getting it and spilled it all over herself, thus scaldinh herself and then proceeded to sue mcdonald's for not warning her that COFFEE IS HOT!

  2. Yes, that is why they had to put the warning labels on! I remember when that hit the news, because it was such a ridiculous case.


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