Not posted - the layer of grease on the top half of the box. |
Today’s
Steveats is done at the request of my pal Fatts, and it’s probably not a
coincidence that my girlfriend is currently spending a week in Iceland. Eating a
bacon-crust pizza from Little Caesars by yourself is pretty much the embodiment
of sadness. The only thing I was missing was a big Mountain Dew from 7-Eleven
to wash it down with, followed by devouring a pint of Ben & Jerry’s.
But I
digress. If you like salt, bacon, salted bacon, salted tomato sauce and a
cheese product with salt, then you’re in luck! The Little Caesars “Bacon
Wrapped Crust Deep Deep Dish,” as they call it, is the perfect product for you.
As the advertising and my posted pictures suggest, the pizza is literally just
bacon strips wrapped around the edge of one of their conventional pizzas. While
they suggest that this is a “deep deep dish,” I didn’t think it was any deeper
than their normal pizza, or something from Pizza Hut. (By the way, I
agree with Jon Stewart. I find deep dish delicious, but it isn’t a pizza.)
However,
guys, gals… Is this a safe place? Can I confess something? … I kind of like
some cheap chain pizza from time to time. Now, I’m not saying that I would
eeevvverrrr opt for Domino’s, Pizza Hut or Little Caesars over a proper, good
pizza. To me though, there is a hierarchy of pizza, and it goes something like
this:
Proper
Restaurant Pizza > Chain Pizza Place > Frozen Pizza > School Pizza
As someone
who survived his tween and teen years on a heavy diet of Friday pizza days at
school and Mama
Celeste frozen pizzas, pretty much any chain pizza place is still delicious
to me. Plus, it’s cheap. Sometimes, I just wanna get four medium pizzas for $20,
or to visit the Pizza Hut buffet to stuff myself full of a disgusting amount of
disgusting pizza. (I think the
young Hollywood actress dating Jon Lovitz has a form of this going on as
well, although in a different way. Well, excited that that was a faked publicity stunt.)
Anyway
though, when it comes to Little Caesars specifically, there are only about five
stores in all of Rhode Island, so it’s not part of my regular rotation. I did
really like the ads as a kid, and the Crazy Bread. (I doubled down and got some
of that with my pizza, and it was salty and breaded and OK.) It might be
because I didn’t have one near me growing up, but I generally prefer Little
Caesars over Pizza Hut and Dominos, in that order. I’m a big fan of square-cut
slices though. (Unranked: Papa John’s and Cici’s, which we didn’t have.) However,
there isn’t a whole lot of difference between them to my taste buds – Just a
ton of salt, jar sauce, fats and sugars. They’ll do in a pinch, but I’m always
picking a better option if I’m eating with other human beings.
If you have a request for a future Steveats, leave it in the comments on here or on my Facebook.
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