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| A Quesalupa in the wild. |
Debuting a new, semi-regular feature! I
tryout questionable fast food items so that you don’t have to in… Steveats.
(Note: Title developed in about 10 seconds of brainstorming.)
The
Quesalupa, as described
by the Taco Bell writing team, is a magical item. “A beautiful, chewy
Chalupa shell on the outside, with delicious pepper jack cheese baked right
inside the shell.” Why, yes, that does sound interesting to me! I quite enjoy
cheese-based products, and while I’d never profess to being the world’s hugest
Taco Bell fan, I’m also not immune to the wonders of a cheap taco during a
night of drinking when I’m hungry late at night.
Unfortunately
though, the Quesalupa didn’t even meet the low standards I had for it in my
head. First off, get
those confusing commercials out of your head. (A short analysis of them
though – YouTube commentators had the same initial thought I did. Are we
supposed to be noticing the redhead with the prodigious posterior? Also, what
laundromat has an ATM machine between machines? The Onlines tell me that in the
commercial, it’s meant to highlight that the people are so entranced by the
cheese of the Quesalupa that they do not notice the person doing the cannonball
or the stripping laundry lady, but it’s hard to tell because there are no
vocals and a weird EDM track on in the background.)
The actual
cheese in the Quesalupa isn’t all that stretchy. I know that saying “cheese”
with any Taco Bell product is being generous, but still. It’s somewhere
in-between the consistency of the shredded crap they put on their normal tacos
and the gooey, liquid cheese for the burritos. It was somewhat flavorless, at
least the one I tried.
Anyway, the
rest of the ole Quesalupa is just the standard Taco Bell fare. I don’t mind
normal Chalupas, but they don’t really deserve their increased price over the
standard $0.99 items or Big Box of the Month. It’s $2.99 for the Quesalupa, and
for your late night, bad food binging, three tacos or two McDoubles are better
investments.
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