Debuting a new, semi-regular feature! I
tryout questionable food items so that you don’t have to in… Steveats. (Note:
Title developed in about 10 seconds of brainstorming.)
To me, there
are few things more AMERICAN than the Olive Garden. We took a form of cuisine
that was just about perfect, dumped some salt and sugar in it, and quadrupled
the normal portion sizes. C’est magnifique! I wouldn’t call the Olive Garden
high cuisine, but I loved going there as a kid, and even now, I can easily be
talked into it.
However,
they’re trying to go Full Glutton with their most recent special offering, the
deep dish spaghetti. I got an email saying that this was the last weekend to
get it, which seems appropriate, because it is the most AMERICAN of their many
pasta dishes.
First things
first – If you get it takeout, like I did, they give you the world’s god damn
biggest bag to take it home in. I had a 32-ounce sodey pop in my car, and I
could
have fit about 10 of them inside this bag. I will throw this bag away
eventually, but for now, I’m using it to line a big hole in my boat. (JK, I don’t
own a boat. I’m going to use it as pantaloons.)
By “deep
dish spaghetti,” what Olive Garden means is that they’ve shoved roughly a pound
of bland spaghetti into this cake-like slice. There is a bit of a crust on the
sides and bottom, and cheese on the top, but otherwise, it’s unseasoned. It is
also literally about a pound of pasta – there was some definite heft as I held
that tray up.
You can get
chicken alfredo with your deep dish ’ghetti, or meatballs, which is what I
opted for. They throw in a bunch of extra sauce, which I’m guessing it to
compensate for how naked the spaghetti is.
One other
note about this production – As if a pound of pasta isn’t enough for you, they
also give you one of their “salads.” I’m not going to hate on their soup, salad
and breadstick deal, which is fine, but when it comes to the takeout salad,
they basically just give you a head of lettuce, two olives, two tomato slices
and a small packet of croutons. I seldom have leftovers for my meals, but I couldn’t
shove all of that watery lettuce down my gullet.
Anyway. The
Fourth of July is on Monday, and it’s really your civic duty to check out this
meal while it’s still around – it is all about bland gluttony, and the freedom
of America, or something!
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Yeah I love me some Olive Garden soup n salad. Also just some good 'ol spaghetti and meatballs the day before a big run. I tried the Tour of Italy and it was just dominated me. That is about the extent of my Olive Garden knowledge. Thanks for heads up on avoiding their take out.
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