Steveats: Lackluster, and Worse, Halloween Candy

Debuting a new, semi-regular feature! I tryout questionable food items so that you don’t have to in… Steveats. (Note: Title developed in about 10 seconds of brainstorming.)

In the past, I did a Steveats on some of the weird Easter candy available. Unmentioned by me at the time – Isn’t it weird that there is so much egg stuff with Easter? Rabbits don’t even lay eggs. So, that’s weird that there are tons of chocolate ones.

I was hoping to find some similarly weird Halloween candy, but as of today, I’ve come up somewhat empty in my pursuit. A local Speedway had o options that were mildly intriguing – candy corn flavored M&Ms and Hershey bars.

Now, neither item was good, but they weren’t the taste equivalent of a dumpster fire either. I actually thought both were edible, especially the M&Ms, and that’s high praise for candy corn. Channeling Lewis Black here for a minute, candy corn is usually just the worst, and the Hershey’s bar used another bad base, white chocolate. But somehow, it works to make the whole thing… OK. It’s like covering broccoli or sprouts in cheese.

My bottom three Halloween candies: 3) Any sort of gum. It’s Halloween! Halloween is for candy, gum is for covering up your rank breath at the office after lunch. Gum isn’t candy, gum is just gum.

2) The aforementioned candy corn.

1) Taffy candies in the black or orange wrappers. Good god, they’re awful. According to this amusing blog entry, they’re actually supposed to have peanut butter inside of them, but I’ve never successfully finished one of those things either so I don’t know about that. They are hideous, disgusting, hideous and grossly hideous.

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