Debuting a new, semi-regular feature! I
tryout questionable food items so that you don’t have to in… Steveats. (Note:
Title developed in about 10 seconds of brainstorming.)
Because I’m
waging a destructive Cold War or Civil War with my own body, the other day I
tried the Reuben sandwich from Subway. Or, to be more accurate about this,
Subway’s disgusting take on a Reuben sandwich.
Going into
this experience, I wasn’t even planning for this to be a proper Steveats entry.
Because, honestly, it’s usually VERY hard to fuck-up a Reuben. I’ve gotten them
from horrible,
closed bars and not been that disappointed. Corned beef is the one “meat”
meant to survive a nuclear apocalypse, because it’s so god damn salty, and you
basically just melt some Swiss cheese on top of it, throw in some sauerkraut
and pour Thousand Island dressing on top.
So, how does
Subway managed to screw this up? Let me count the ways…
First, they
use lean, fat-less corned beef, and they don’t even give you that much of it. (“The
food is horrible, and such small portions too!”) Look at that anemic sandwich I
got! In contrast, look
at the beauties on the Wikipedia page for Reuben.
Second, the
sauerkraut is flavorless mush, which is the opposite of what I was expecting. I
was anticipating that it would essentially come from a can, and thus, have an
overpowering scent and taste because it would have been swimming in Essences
for months before being dished out. Nope! Instead, the ole sauerkraut just
tasted watery, and like nothing.
Thirdly, oh
my god, red onions. I don’t know if this was just a mistake by my Sandwich
Artist, or if this is standard operating procedure for Subway’s horrible
Reuben. But she put red onions on my Reuben! In a way, they kind of compensated
for the lack of sauerkraut taste, but man, it was still a weird texture and
gross taste for a Reuben.
This is a
disgusting sandwich. I will offer two bits of faint praise – The dressing was
OK, because it was dressing they have on hand at all times anyway. And I had a
coupon, so the sandwich only cost me $6, instead of the $8.75(!!!) it retails
for. For that much, you’re better off just going to the deli and getting a
pound of corned beef, to make your own Reuben.
Want to support Steve’s blogging? Then
purchase something via the Amazon clickthru link for Your Parents Basement, Steve’s other
project! If you have a request for a
future Steveats, leave it in the comments on here or on my Facebook. To check
out some of the past Steveats, go here!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Try not to be too much of an ass, unless completely necessary. You are subject to tyrannical moderation.