Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Steveats: Burger King Whopperrito (ugh)

Debuting a new, semi-regular feature! I tryout questionable food items so that you don’t have to in… Steveats. (Note: Title developed in about 10 seconds of brainstorming.)

It was only two months ago that I was embracing Burger King’s experimentation. They struggled with some disgusting or lackluster items, like hot dogs, the Angriest Whopper and the Philly cheeseburger, before finally striking some orange gold with the Cheetos bites – the perfect sort of fast food junk I would want at 2 a.m. Between that, and the continued, serviceable hot dogs on their menu, I thought they might settle down for a bit.

NOPE. Hence we have the new Burger King Whopperrito, which is exactly as successful as you’d imagine a burrito by Burger King to be. It’s basically a chopped-up Whopper in a crappy, microwaved burrito wrap. (As they were preparing my order, I literally heard them say, “It’s almost ready, I just need to nuke the burrito.”)

There is a queso sauce on it that’s somewhat tasty, but way too much lettuce, and as you can see from the burrito I got, there wasn’t much burrito prep training going on at BK to prepare. The “flour tortilla” was basically like eating a warmed-over cloth napkin. It was easily the blandest tortilla I’ve had in my life, even more so than the generic cheapo ones you can buy from the store.

A better idea for Burger King instead of screwing around with a burrito? Just offer a Mexican or Texas or Zesty Whopper! Spicy queso, diced pickles, and zesty seasoning of some sort. Or heck, just bring back the avocado burger, which should have never left the menu.

As is, the Whopperrito is edible, if you like the Whopper. However, I’d rank it near the bottom of available burritos from fast food places. It’s about $3.50, which is triple the cost of better items at, of all places, Taco Bell. Even the Dunkin’ Donuts breakfast burrito was quite a bit tastier than BK’s offering, and pretty much all of the fast casual places like Chipotle, Moe’s and Caliente blow this burrito away.

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