Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Target, We Need To Talk (About Your Movie Section)

Dear employees and management in charge of Target’s movie section – What sort of vile madmen ARE you?

A couple weeks ago, I was looking for a copy of The Bronze. Admittedly, it’s not supposed to be a great movie, and it’s not especially popular either. But I wanted a nice, physical copy instead of having to deal with that filthy Redbox.

Instead, I was greeted with MADNESS at the Target in Seekonk. There were five rows of movies, each with different signs atop them. Was it in the new movies section? Movies under $5? Multi-feature under $15? Regular movies under $15?

MOVIES UNDER $13?!?! Why would you even have a sign for movies under $13? The other amounts kind of make some sense, since in the American currency system, we have bills in increments of five, 10 and 20. Thirteen though, Target? THIRTEEN?

I can hypothesize how this started. First, they probably had the normal DVD section, and a discount section for under $10. But then, movies got even cheaper, and they went under $5. And then suddenly, you had the common cheapo DVD practice of multiple features in one package. And THEN, you repeat the whole process over again with the introduction of Blu-ray discs.

But Target executives reading this post, enough is enough. You must bring about some sanity to your practices here. Let me offer you some suggestions:

1) Sort the movies into DVD and Blu-ray sections, and alphabetize them. OR, sort the movies all together, because it’s 2016 and almost everybody except old people have a device that doesn’t care whether you put a Blu-ray or DVD into it, because it’ll play it anyway.

2) If you want to have separate sections for kids movies, so that they’re not picking out The Aristocrats instead of The AristoCats, that’s fine. Likewise, you can do separate section for multi-feature films and television shows, as long as they’re sorted by alphabet.

3) That’s it.

I don’t even want films sorted by type, since that’s such a crapshoot now. Make people take that movie off the shelf and look at the back cover!


p.s. If you could send me a copy of The Bronze, that would be pretty cool too!

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