Thursday, May 13, 2010

Is Julie Bowen hotter than Sofia Vergara?

To answer the question posed by the title of this entry, before Wednesday night's episode of Modern Family, I had been leaning toward Bowen being hotter anyway. There is something that strikes me as “fake” when it comes to Sofia. It's not quite the female-female impersonator level, which strikes Pamela Anderson, but she almost seems too good to be true. Also, I envision her being completely batshit crazy, which doesn't help.

In contrast, Bowen is no doubt a feast for the eyes, and she seems stable and attainable. Julie Bowen is the hot girl that your best buddy settles down with early. At the time, everyone is like, “Hey, whoa man, looks like you traded in your freedom too early, yuck yuck yuck!” But then, as time passes, and they're happily married, you just realize... That magnificent bastard. He married up!

So yes, I'd favor Bowen over Vergara at this point – Call it a 10 to 9 boxing decision, as opposed to a flat out KO. And oh, there was a hilarious new Modern Family on Wednesday night. The evil Alex moment of the night? When she gleefully spilled to Claire (Bowen!) that Haley had been drinking. “You're not going to like this as much as I do, but she's drunk.” mwhahaha. So perfect.

The other great scenes of the episode were between Luke, the normal little kid, and Manny, the Rico Suave in training. Manny was a complete neat freak in his room, which led to Luke being the messy one, spouting off things like, “I am a bathroom Martian!” and “I'm wrinkling your linen!!!” The kids definitely stole the show from the adults this past episode, although the other plots – Jay throwing out his back, Phil being Phil – were still great.

Grade: A+


  1. Bowen's obvious implants were showing in the pool with Phil. I was not impressed.

    Clearly the cleavage star of this episode was Haley who is actually 19 years old.

  2. Obvious implants? How dare you, sir! I believe she has had a couple kids since Happy Gilmore, so it wouldn't surprise me that she has had some large, natural growth there. Also, she isn't really an obvious choice for implants; it's not like she is some teen starlet known only for her looks.

    Haley is in the Olsen Twins category of "you look way younger than you actually are." She is like half the woman Mila Kunis is - And I mean that literally, since she is so slight. I too was surprised by how busty she is, but because she really does look like she is 15, I wasn't comfortable bringing this up.

  3. Julie is much hotter than Charo, I mean, Sofia.

  4. It isn't even a close contest. Bowen is your average good looking mom type, and Vergara is the sexiest natural woman on Earth. Bowen can't begin to compare. More likely, your perception of Bowen as attainable vs the near-perfection of Vergara leads you to choose the less attractive woman. Self-esteem is making mediocrity appealing, bro!


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