Note: Spoilers galore, obviously. I might add pictures to this later, but I obviously can't right just now. All times EST.9 p.m. - We open up with a montage of slow music, and a pan between the characters in Bizarro LAX and on the Island itself. The show actually starts with an Oceanic delivery truck bringing Christian's coffin (Jack's dad) to the concert hall, while Kate watches on from a car. Desmond is orchestrating it all still. He and Kate have a little conversation about fate and destiny, and how about they're friends.
Flash to the Island. Jack explains that Jacob told him he had to protect Marcellus Wallace's briefcase in the middle of the island. The gang splits up - Sawyer goes to find Desmond in the well (we already know he escaped with someone's help), and Jack, Hurley and Kate will go toward the golden light. First commercial break.
9:10 p.m. - Back from commercial, we're in the Hummer in Bizarro LAX with Sayid and Hurley, as they pull up to a sleazy motel. And hey, it's Charlie, and he's all drunk and messed up. He refuses to come with Hurley willingly, so Hurley tranqs him and throws him in the back of the Hummer.
On the Island, Kate is asking Jack why he took the job as the Candidate. Their gross talk causes Hurley to have a funny line: "This would be so sweet if we weren't all about to die."
Over by the well, Sawyer is spying on FLocke, when Ben sneaks up on him and points a gun at him. Sawyer elbows Ben in the face, and escapes. FLocke lets him escape, because he mentions that he doesn't care if the Island is at the bottom of the ocean.
FLocke notes that he thought there was a dog by the well, and sure enough, Vincent is alive! He's hanging out with Rose and Bernard, and they've rescued Desmond from the well. Rose notes that they broke their rule - not getting involved - in order to rescue him. She asks him to leave once he's done eating, but it's too late, as FLocke and Ben have found Bernard in the woods. By threatening to torture them, FLocke blackmails Desmond into coming with him.
9:20 p.m. - Back from commercial. We stick on the Island - Desmond knows that FLocke is taking him to a place with a very bright light somehow. There is a bit of feedback, as Ben has a walkie-talkie in his pocket! And he's working with Miles somehow, who has found Richie Alpert, still alive. Richard is frantic even though he just woke up - He says they still have to blow up that plane.
In Bizarro LAX, Miles spies Sayid at the concert, and calls his detective buddy Sawyer, asking him to keep an eye on Sun. We then flash to the hospital bed, with Sun and Jin. The nurse is... Juliet! Aw, she actually takes care of babies in this world. Sun seeing her baby on the ultrasound kicks her memory back in, and Jin is soon with her, as he sees the baby too. Both of them burst into crying as it happens. And suddenly, both of them speak English again! (This is an oddly perplexing turn of events, since both Jin and Sun are dead on the Island!) Commercial break.
9:29 p.m. - The music amps up a bit on the Island, more of a traveling-tune, as Sawyer reunites with his people. Jack says it doesn't matter that FLocke has Desmond, since they're all headed to the rich, golden center anyway.
In Bizarro LAX, Locke insists on Jack calling him John, instead of Mr. Locke. It's a nice little scene between the two, given that they hate each other on the Island.
On the Island, Miles and Richard are staking out in a canoe toward the plane. They hit one body in the ocean with an oar, and then notice that Frank is bobbing along out there, barely alive! Woohoo! Frank asks what they're doing out there. Instead of suggesting that they blow up the plane, he suggests stealing the plane and using it themselves, since, well, he's a pilot! Clever, Frank. I'm for it since Frank and Miles are neat.
Finally, we have a face-to-face between Jack and FLocke on the Island. Kate tries to shoot FLocke a couple times, which of course doesn't work. FLocke expresses surprise that Jack is the choice, and in a clever nod to fans, he says, "You're kind of the obvious choice." Jack offers to go with FLocke to the gold light, and flat out tells FLocke that he's doing it so that he can kill him. (This has been the best seen of the episode by far, very tense yet funny.) Another commercial break.
9:38 p.m. - Jack and Juliet exchange pleasantries outside the exam room, which is a completely surreal scene. Yes, Jack Jr. is their baby. Yes, they're divorced. And as Juliet leaves with Jack Jr., Sawyer slides in.
Back to the Island. Jack doesn't really have a plan to kill FLocke, except that Desmond might be a weapon. Sawyer says, "That's a heck of a long con." Jack, FLocke and Desmond proceed to the golden light past the bamboo alone. Desmond hints that the golden light transports them to a place where they're all still alive, where Jack and he sat next to one another on the Oceanic flight. (Namely, that the golden light leads to Bizarro LAX.) All three of them descend into the golden light... And we hit another commercial.
9:45 p.m. - Note: Target has some
LOST themed commercials that are pretty clever, such as someone freaking out because they can't entire the numbers into the hatch's computer. Good times, good times.
9:47 p.m. - In Bizarro LAX, Hurley and Sayid have a heart to heart about why they're there. Hurley says that deep down, he things Sayid is a good guy. They watch as someone is getting into a fight outside of a night club, and as a woman gets involved, Sayid goes to her rescue. Of course, it's... Shannon! And this awakens both of their memories. Boone is in on the plot, as he volunteered to get his ass beat.
On the Island, Ben and Miles are talking on the walky-talky. Miles is trying to get them all to come over to the plane, when Claire stumbles upon Miles, Frank and Richard. Richard talks her down from shooting all of them, but she refuses to leave the Island on the plane with them.
We flash back over to the golden waterfall. Jack and FLocke begin to lower Desmond down into the golden waterfall. FLocke tries to claim some of Locke's memories, which causes Jack to icily state, "You're not John Locke." They finish lowering Desmond into the golden pit, and peer over the edge as... we go to commercial again! Sigh!
9:58 p.m. - Back from the break, we're in line at the concert on Bizarro LAX. Juliet gets paged to go to the hospital, and she leaves Jack Jr. and Claire to their own devices. We flash to the backstage area, and Charlotte is rousing Charlie out of his slumber. This also leads to her meeting Daniel Farraday (Widmore). We flash to the dining room, and Claire is at a table with Kate, of course.
The band starts to play - Daniel backed up by Driveshat. Charlie gazes out into the audience, and locks eyes with Claire... who suddenly gets a contraction. She stumbles off a bit, while Desmond gets a bit of a wry look on his face.
Back on the Island, Desmond is at the bottom of the waterfall, and poking about some sort of golden pool with light radiating from it. He steps into it, which causes the water to freak out, and he yanks a plug from the middle of it, it seems. This causes the light to go out, which seems a bit ominous, but then lava and flames seem to rise up and out of it. Desmond screams out, "No!" And Flocke points to Jack and says, "It looks like you were wrong."
Jack then tackles FLocke outside of the cave, and... Locke bleeds! ("He's cut! The Russian is cut!") This gets a smirk from Jack. "Looks like you were wrong too..." FLocke manages to power himself out of Jack's grasp, and tries to run away, while Jack fights unconsciousness. Commercial break.
10:09 p.m. - Claire is still stumbling around backstage in Bizarro LAX, going into severe contractions. Kate comes to help her. Meanwhile, Desmond and Eloise have a cryptic conversation; he says that they'll be leaving. However, he won't be bringing Daniel with him.
And in a redux from past events, Kate is delivering Claire's baby and having her push, while Charlie fetches them some blankets. This causes Kate's memory to flash back in, and then Claire's as the baby is delivered, it seems. She cuddles with the newborn Aaron, while they all share a good cry. Charlie is back with the blankets, and as Claire grips his hand, his memory kicks back in. And aw, they kiss. And aw, Claire has her bay-bey back.
With them cuddling, Desmond comes to the backstage. He asks Kate if she understands now, and she nods, and asks, "So now what?"
We flash to the Island, where a severe earthquake is happening. A tree appears to fall on Ben, as he shoves Hurley out of the way. Jack wakes up, and instead of chasing after FLocke, he initially tries to see if Desmond is okay. Then, he chases after FLocke.
Meanwhile, Sawyer, Hurley and Kate tries to push the tree off of Ben. Miles checks in via radio - Frank is trying to weld the plane, in order to get it suitable enough to fly. The gang plans on stealing FLocke's boat to make it over there in time.
Another quick flash, and FLocke is overlooking Jacob's cave. Jack is back, and screams at him. FLocke draws his knife, and as the two are about to clash, we go to commercial. Damn!
10:22 p.m. - Thankfully, as we come back from commercial, Jack and FLocke are fighting on the cliff, which is falling into the ocean. They struggle for FLocke's knife, before FLocke finally gets it, stabbing Jack in the abs. But as FLocke is about to finish him off, cutting him in his neck (!!!), Kate is there and shoots him, killing him. FLocke's last words are that they're too late, and Jack kicks him off the edge of the cliff.
In Bizarro LAX, Jack is bleeding from the neck again, and Locke is waking up out of anesthesia already, and he whispers that it worked. And sure enough, he can wiggle his toes! And his memory starts to kick back in, as he looks at his wiggling toes. He tries to convince Jack that he doesn't have a son, which Jack doesn't believe. He tells the nurse to give Mr. Locke some medicine, and Locke says to him, "I hope someone does for you what you did for me."
10:31 p.m. - Back on the Island, the weather has clearly up completely, and Kate is consoling a bleeding Jack on the cliff. The earthquakes are still happening though, even though FLocke is dead.
Flash to Bizarro LAX, and Sawyer is talking to Sun and Jin. They both have their memory, and tease him about this, since he doesn't have his back yet.
Back on the Island, Frank has power to the ship, but the hydraulics are all messed up. Ben is also alive, and asks for the status report. Meanwhile, Jack is going to stay behind to try to reverse whatever Desmond did. He and Kate kiss, and say they love each other. They're splitting up, as Kate needs to get Claire on the plane. Hugo and Ben are staying behind with Jack.
10:41 p.m. - On the Island, Miles is trying to fix the plane. "I don't believe in a lot of things, but I do believe in duct tape." So witty! Sawyer walkies them and says they'll be sailing over, but rank says they need to leave ASAP, because of the Island's instability. Sawyer and Kate leap from the cliff, swimming toward the boat.
In Bizarro LAX, Sawyer and Jack share a moment, and then Juliet and him meet cute by the vending machine. He gets his memory back as she helps him get the candy from the machine, as does she, and they embrace in a really sweet scene. (
LOST has had a lot of these "meet cutes" tonight, but this was the most tender so far, for some reason.) Commercial.
10:51 p.m. - Anddddd we're back in Bizarro LAX. Jack and Kate are meeting cute outside of the concert, which is over. (By the way, I've never been a big fan of Evageline Lilly, but she cleans up REAL nice in that black dress.) He seems to recognize her a bit, but not completely. She touches him, and some of his memories flood back, before he pulls away a bit. Kate asks Jack to come with her.
We flash to the Island. Hurley is helping Jack walk toward the gold waterfall, and Jack admits that he's going to die. He tries to convince Hurley that he's the one to protect the Island... while Ben glowers, sitting down on some rocks. Jack gets a dirty water bottle from Ben, and then has Hurley drink from it. Ben watches at this goes on, and doesn't try to totally eff things up, for some reason.
Over at the plane, Frank has gotten the engines fired up. Back at the golden well, Ben and Hurley are attempting to lower Jack down, but the earthquake ruins this plan a bit. He falls with a thud, but he's still alive. Jack goes to check on Desmond. Desmond says that his plan didn't work, because the light went out, and he thought he'd leave this place. Jack tells him he's done enough, and ties the rope to him. Desmond wants to know why it has to be Jack, and Jack tells him it's because Desmond has a wife and a son, and tells Desmond, "I'll see you in another live, brotha."
As the plane is trying to pull off from the Island, Kate desperately tries to convince Claire to come with them. She finally does, but it seems like Frank and the boys are about to leave on the plane... But they manage to jump in front before they can leave, and Frank stops the plane.
Back in the golden waterfall, which is now a lava pit, Jack manages to plug it up with the stone idol. However, it's not clear what effect, if any, it had.
Over to the plane again, Kate, Claire and Sawyer manage to get on it, and Frank tries to gun the engines for a takeoff as the ground cracks underneath them. He manages to get the nose up and the plane in the air JUST before he hits the tree line, and they're off! The surviving crew exchange glances of happiness.
We go back to the waterfall, with Jack slowly dying. The golden light is finally coming back on then, which causes him to cry in joy. Ben remarks, "He did it! The light's back on!" Ben and Hurley yell at him to hang on, and they pull up, to find... Desmond. Hurley screams, "Jack!!!" as they fade to commercial.
11:10 p.m. - Back to Bizarro LAX, Locke has taken a cab to the concert. Although the operation work, he still needs his chair apparently. He meets Ben outside, and says that most of them are inside. Ben apologizes for, you know, killing John. Locke forgives him, and asks him what he's going to do now. Ben says he's going to stay behind, because he still has to work some things out. And he tells Locke that he doesn't have to be in that chair anymore - Locke apparently agrees, and stands up and walks in the house.
We flash to the Island. Ben says Desmond will be okay. A stunned Hurley notes that, "Jack's gone, isn't he?" Hurley asks what he's supposed to do now, and Ben says he should do what he does best - Helping people. Ben says Hugo can start by sending Desmond home. Hugo says that they can't send people off the Island, to which Ben says that that was just Jacob's way. Ben agrees to be the Richard Alpert to Hugo's Jacob.
Back in Bizarro LAX, Hugo tries to talk Ben into coming inside, but Ben says he's not ready. They exchange comments - Hurley says that Ben was a great #2, and Ben says that Hurley was a great #1. Jack then drops Kate off, and she leaves to go inside for Christian's funeral, she says. (Or rather, for whatever meeting they're having there.)
We flash back to the Island, and shockingly, Jack is alive!!! He struggles away from a waterfall, and we flash quickly back to Bizarro LAX. Jack has snuck in the back of the church (I'm presuming that's what it is), and he's eyeing the coffin that contains his father. He touches the coffin, and finally, his memories come flooding back.
He opens the coffin, and again, it's empty. But suddenly, his dad is behind him! "Hey kiddo." "I don't understand... you died." "How are you here?" Jack died too, apparently. "Everyone dies sometime, kiddo. Some of them before you, some of them long after you." "Why are they all here now?" "Well there is no 'now' here..." "Where are we dad?" "This is the place that you all made together so that you could find one another. The most important part of your life was the time you spent with these people, which is why all of you are here."
Christian goes on, nothing that everyone needed to be here to remember, and to eventually let go. Christian says that they're all "moving on," and when Jack asks where they're going, he says, "Let's go find out."
As the people embrace in the church, it is interspersed with a bloody Jack stumbling around on the Island. In the church, he and Kate hold hands and sit down, as everyone else does, and this is spliced with Jack dying on his back in the Island, and Vincent coming to lay down with him. At the head of the church, Christian opens the doors, and a white light floods into it. As Jack looks into the sky on the Island, he sees the plane pass overhead, and finally closes his eye - show over.
... Or is it? After the title placard, we see shots of the Island with debris all over it. And then, finally, we fade out.
Not this farm.
Josh Reddick, CF, 23. According to Friday's chat with Kevin Goldstein of Baseball Prospectus, Reddick is pressing. He specifically wrote, "Triple-A-itis. Tasted the big leagues and wants to get back, so he's trying to get five hits or a five-run home run in every at-bat." That might be an understatement, as Reddick is hitting .181 in 171 AB, with five home runs. Even his defense has seemingly fallen apart, as he has four errors too. While he might want to be back in the Majors, at this point a stint in Portland seems more likely, to try and restore some confidence at the plate. He has gone from the outer fringes of the outfield decision at the end of the year to no consideration at all with his early season performance. Personally, I blame the ridiculously ugly porn mustache he is sporting in the picture to the right.
In a continuation of an angle seemingly only I like, Laycool mocked Beth Phoenix, and also WWE fans for questioning how they can have two titles. "I've got 99 problems but Beth ain't one!" McCool and Layla are both ridiculously annoying in their current roles, and as such, they're the only interesting wrestlers the WWE has in the Smackdown women's division. (Sorry Kelly Kelly and Tiffany - You're both incredible eye candy, I just wish the writers could give you a personality or a gimmick or an angle, instead of imagining what your naughty bits would look like in a cheerleader outfit.) On Raw, Maryse holds a similar role, although Eve at least has some potential. Gail Kim has been completely buried since coming over from TNA, but I imagine she doesn't mind the paycheck too much.
My vision of the apocalypse.
Although both main story arcs on Tuesday night's Glee dealt with irregular family situations, only two of the characters - Rachel and her mom - came across as likable considering the circumstances.
And, I've got to give props to Iqbal Theba, who plays Principal Figgins with the perfect mixture of ignorance and authority. In Tuesday's episode, he insisted that Tina stop dressing like a goth because of his worries about Twilight and vampire problems, only to be harassed by Tina into reverting the dress code because of his irrational fear of vampires. While this served as the catalyst for the show's Gaga theme, it was unfortunately kept in the background and used mostly as a bookend.
Some of these people make my skin crawl. The characters of "Sex and the City 2" are flyweight bubbleheads living in a world which rarely requires three sentences in a row. Their defining quality is consuming things. They gobble food, fashion, houses, husbands, children, vitamins and freebies. They must plan their wardrobes on the phone, so often do they appear in different basic colors, like the plugs you pound into a Playskool workbench.
- Slate finished its series on upfronts by having Troy Patterson go to the CW's presentation. There are at least two reasons that I'm happy they had Katy Perry perform at their upfront. Apparently, she's some sort of singer! Strangely, I had never noticed that she sang.
- And finally... This entire story from Slate about three guys claiming to be Jesus Christ who were forced to live together is pretty nuts. Enjoy! (And p.s., wasn't Dogma an underrated movie? I totally agree!)
Brie, President-brand. Again, I kept it pretty basic for this first time out, sticking with a well-known brand of a classic cheese. I've had this before, and to me, as a stinky American, the oddest part has to be that rind! It is so white and freakishly hard, to the point where the President label stuck against it from how the cheese was packaged. I had to peel it off.
Hello, friend of friends. How are you? How's your wife and kids?
Dear Modern Family,
- All of the guest stars for Community, who mostly play professors, were on full display in Thursday's episode. The most consistent performer, I've never even mentioned before on this blog: Jim Rash, the actor who plays Dean Pelton, and who somehow has 51 credits on IMDB. With his bald dome and mannerisms, Rash kind of reminds me of Stephen Stucker, who played the flamboyantly gay and energetic Johnny in Airplane!
- Finally, I suppose I should talk about the kiss. Given my profound love for Alison Brie, it was hard to see her lock lips, but at least it was with the dreamy Joel McHale. (I'm also slightly annoyed that I missed Brie during her art school phase. Damn!)
To rip-off the disclaimer for Bill Simmons' BS Report, Tag Team is a free flowing discussion between two adults that sometimes touches on mature subjects. due to popular demand, and by that I mean web page hits, my friend Danielle Membrino is back for a third Tag Team entry! She is currently employed as a photographer and nanny in Boston.
Steve said at 10:17 p.m. on Thursday, May 13:
Danielle said at 4:19 p.m. on Friday, May 14:
Steve said at 11:21 a.m. on Wednesday, May 19:
Danielle said at 9:27 a.m. on Thursday, May 20:
