The Baggage Game: Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Welcome to another installment of The Baggage Game! Tonight's dater is Jonathan, a travel writer from Peoria, Illinois. (Hey, I'd travel too if I was from Peoria, OH!) He wants an exciting, outgoing woman.

Holly is a sales rep from Vista, California. She's blonde and tan, and generally easy on the eyes. Kara is dubiously billed as a "business owner" from Vegas, which makes me think her "business" could be part of her baggage. She is tall, skinny and brunette - Kind of like a young version of that former model from Just Shoot Me and Hot In Cleveland. Finally, there is Angela [right], a musician from Houston, Texas. She is wearing an incredibly short aqua dress, and she's ginger, giving her a bit of an advantage on the other two. (Well, at least to me.)

First Round
Holly: My birth name is Holly Wood.
Kara: I spent a night in the slammer.
Angela: I take my pink poodle everywhere. (Jerry says, "You've got Holly Wood and Legally Blonde.)

Holly's baggage shouldn't even count; seriously, that's it? Kara says she got a DWI when she was 19 and in Santa Barbara, and it sounds like she regrets it, so meh. Meanwhile, Angela brings her dog out, and it looks like the spawn of Satan. It's not even pink; it's like red. Jerry wants Jonathan to prove that he's manly enough to handle the pink poodle, and even makes a fake walking motion. Reason #8,010,672 that he is perfect for this show. For what it's worth, Angela insane dog is definitely my pick.

Second Round
Angela: I work 80 hours a week.
Holly: I party at clubs every night.
Kara: I broke up a marriage.

The weird thing is that the marriage one bothers me the least. That could just be a momentarily lapse in judgment. However, it's Jonathan's biggest piece of baggage. (Seriously though dude, you'd rather have the girl who is STILL clubbing or working 80 hours a week?) And right on cue, Kara is eliminated, and she says it was a one-time fling, and that she didn't know the guy was married. So, nice pick, Jonathan.

Holly says she is a beer rep, so she likes to go out and have fun and network. She says he is always welcome to come, and to have some free beers. Meanwhile, Angela says she is married to her work, and she has toured with Willie Nelson and others. (This is also why the poodle comes with her.) She also immediately calls Holly an alcoholic, which makes me laugh.

And in the "Internet is a small place!" category, using my impeccable reporting skills, I've found Angela. If you'd like to take a peek, you can find her Twitter here, and her website with a music sample here.

Final Elimination Round
Holly: I spy on my boyfriends.
Angela: I want to be pregnant with twins - immediately. (Jerry says, "We have at least another 10 minutes to go.")

Holly basically admits to doing a stakeout on her boyfriend... but she actually caught him in the act. Meanwhile, Angela's desire sounds completely nuts. But she is very sweet about it, at least.

Jonathan decides to "go with his gut feeling" and sends Holly home. He says he's past the party stage of his life, so I suppose it's good that he sends Holly home. She reacts bitterly. Angela comes over and gives Anthony a hug, and for the first time, I realize she is either REALLY short, or he is really tall. (I'm guessing she's short, since Springer isn't that much shorter than Anthony.) Jonathan's baggage is one of these three:

- I scammed people in a pyramid scheme.
- I have a furry fetish.
- I broke up with my ex during her grandmother's funeral.

The only one that is vaguely acceptable to me is the funeral thing. It's only understandable in the context that maybe the whole thing was overwhelming to him, and made him realize he didn't want to be with the person. However, personally, I would probably wait until the funeral was over. The pyramid scheme thing is just a sign of disturbing morals, and the furry fetish? Good lord.

Angela admits that the furry thing would be the worst to her, since she has a furry pink poodle. However, Jonathan's actual baggage is the pyramid scheme, booooo! He said he was in Asia and met some charismatic people, and he in turn recruited some people for it. He then realized it was a scam, and he got out of it. Angela says sorry... but she can accept his baggage. Booyah, fakeout!

Note: The videos page is down right now. I'll try to add in a link later if I can.