The Baggage Game: Friday, July 23

Ah, time for another edition of The Baggage Game! For those unfamiliar with it, check out the debut of the game here. Tonight's dater is Patricia, a busty, brunette with curly hair from San Diego, who looks kind of like the girl to the right. She's a flight attendant - Oh, la and LA! From her initial chat with Jerry Springer, she seems super-cereal, in the words of Al Gore. The daters are Harry the bartender, Tony the systems technician from Munich, and Clayton the contractor, former Golden Gloves champion and Marine from Houston. (Holy crap, who invited the ringer?)

First Round
Harry: I keep love letters from my ex'es.
Tony: I count my girlfriend's calories.
Clayton: I pee in the shower every morning.

Wow - Tony jumps into the "creepy obsessive" lead right away by counting his girlfriend's calories. (Not surprisingly, he is a gorgeous bastard, because an ugly guy doesn't get away with that shit at all.) Harry's answer is also... concerning... but at least he's doing it for semi-sweet reasons, mentioning that he wants to be able to show his kids the letters someday. (Jerry nails him by questioning why he has them from all of his ex'es.) I've covered peeing in the shower before, and meh, that's not really that big of an issue to me.

Second Round
Tony : I've paid for a "happy ending" massage.
Harry: I must be alone after sex.
Clayton: I'm a 36-year-old grandfather.

Holy craappppp, that's some ridiculous stuff going on! Patricia eliminates the happy-ending guy, which I actually find the least concerning... and then Tony reveals that he got it in Bangkok of all places, making it twice as worse. But holy hell, the 36-year-old grandfather thing would worry me the most. Clayton says he accidentally got his high school girlfriend pregnant, but doesn't really explain how his son then magically got someone else pregnant. The sex thing, ugh, but I feel like I could work on it, and it's not as bad as the grandfather thing.

Final Elimination Round
Harry: I use my 22-year-old son to pick up women.
Clayton: I'm a male stripper in Las Vegas.

Wowwwww. Where the hell did they find these people? How do they all have kids? #1 is definitely much, much worse to me. #2, meh - it's sleazy as heck, but at least he's getting paid for his sleaze. Patricia doesn't really seem that thrilled about either guy, but she sends Harry packing, which I would have done as well. Anyway, we progress to her secret:

- I dumped my finance on our wedding day.
- I was thrown out of a theme park for having sex.
- I forged a check to a charity.

Compared to what Clayton has going on, Patricia seems like a saint regardless of which thing she picks. The charity thing is the most worrisome thing to me, and Clayton as well, whereas the other two things are... moments of passion. Patricia reveals that she dumped her fiance on her wedding day, because her life "flashed before her while she was there" and she doesn't have commitment issues. However, Clayton is okay with this, and they get to go out on a date together. aw.

The picture of Bizarro Patricia comes from this site about hairstyling.