Monday, July 26, 2010

Inexplicable Book Review: My Teacher Is Not Bruce Coville


Back in the day, there were a bunch of nifty horror series for kids. (I say this as if they don't exist now, but since I'm 26, I don't really hang around in the kid's lit sections of book stores, since I don't want to have a good, long chat with Chris Hansen.) Of course, R.L. Stine's Goosebumps and Fear Street series are the most famous, but there was also the softcore porn-esque writing of Christopher Pike and the Scary Stories anthologies with freaky illustrations.

A subset of this was kinda-goofy series, like the ones written by Bruce Coville. The one I remember best had the catchiest title - My Teacher Is An Alien. According to Wikipedia, it came out in 1989, when I was five. However, I first stumbled across it in third or fourth grade, at one of those Scholastic book fairs that came 'round the school every couple of months. The other books are My Teacher Fried My Brains, My Teacher Glows In The Dark and My Teacher Flunked The Planet.

The plot of the four-book series was pretty simple: Super nerd Peter Thompson likes cute girl Susan Simmons, but there is a bully, Duncan Dougal, in the way. Oh, and also, their teacher Mr. Smith is actually an alien named Broxholm, who has a wife who is also an alien masquerading as a teacher, who uses a device to unlock Duncan's inner brain power. You know, your typical sort of stuff.

The series morphs from what seems to be the typical "oh my goodness, my teacher is an alien stuff!" to a bit of a morality play on humanity itself. The aliens observing Earth are worried about the destructive powers of humans, with the atomic bomb foremost among their concerns. They don't want the humans to corrupt the rest of the galaxy when they eventually get out into the rest of the galaxy.

It's an interesting thing to ponder, and as a kid, I always resonated more with books that skewed toward grey-ish morals and surprising outcomes, like My Teacher Is An Alien. Also, there was a light little romance hinted at in all the books. So, as an awkward fourth grader first discovering that girls were pretty and not always cootie-faced, I always liked books and video games that hinted at something like this.

Anyway, if you're interested in the series, it's widely available. From a casual glance on eBay and Amazon, the individual books go for $0.50 to $2. Most library networks also have all four books.

The picture of the series is from this nifty interview with the creator of the series, Bruce Coville.

19 comments:

  1. Goosebumps was the boss. It was the literary version of Nickelodeon's "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

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  2. @ Freckleonthenose - Agreed! I have the entire set of Are You Afraid of the Dark? episodes lying around somewhere, and I'm actually surprised at how dark some of them were.

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  3. I remember My Teacher is an Alien!
    I was never very good with short series books though as a kid. I loved series that had a lot of books. Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, Encyclopedia Brown, Box Car kids and above all else - Sweet Valley Twins. I have a whole entire box of JUST sweet valley twins books. That author went crazy and had like 6 different series all revolving around the twins. He just like changed the name of the series as they got older or changed schools. But once I like a series I can't get enough and need more. Probably explains my love for harry potter now that I think about it... :D

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  4. @ Danielle - Did you ever read a lot of Babysitter's Club books? That would be ironic, considering your current job.

    And wow, I have completely forgotten about the Box Car kids! Now that would be a good future entry. I had a whole bunch of those books growing up.

    What was Sweet Valley Twins about? Is that the one that had two hot blondes on the cover? (I was a teenager then, it makes it OK.)

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  5. Oh man, I loved this series. Read them all, but Flunked the Planet was the best. Also, with Danielle on Hardy Boys and Encyclopedia Brown. Still have my collections of those, plus Tom Swift.

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  6. @ Andrew - I have a book or two of Encyclopedia Brown and The Hardy Boys; I liked the Boys a bit better, since they had proper adventures. EB was just a bunch of short little stories.

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  7. Oh! I remember Sweet Valley Twins, Box Car Kids, Babysitter's Club, Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, etc. So many books! I loved reading as a kid, whether it was a new series or ones my parents introduced. I loved the old Agatha Christie books as well.

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  8. @ THE Frisky Virgin - I've actually just recently gotten in some more Agatha Christie, but it's hard to find out which of her 500 novels still hold up well. For example, I found What Mrs. McGillicutty Saw to be pretty good, but The Blue Train was kind of ponderous and seemed to invent plot-fulfilling characters out of thin air. I still much prefer the first book I ever read of her's, Ten Little Indians (alternately titled And Then There Were None).

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  9. I loved those books! I remember the Fear Street books the most. The set I remember most was about cheerleaders. 2 forgot their batons and then a bus crash in a cemetary and possession of spirits and shower scenes. Good stuff.

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  10. I can still remember borrowing RL Stein's books from the library and paying loads of moolah on overdue fees. I decided to keep the books and buy new books for the library. It came out cheaper in the end.

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  11. I think I remember those books. I def remember the Scary Stories series. I loved those, they creeped me out.

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  12. @ Amanda - Yeah, Fear Street was always a bit more risque than Goosebumps; I remember reading them as I went from elementary school and into fifth and sixth grade. There still wasn't anything like a Christopher Pike book going on, where you had straight-up murders and people having softcore sex on the hood of cars, but it was definitely a tick more hardcore.

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  13. @ PTM - The illustrations were the worst in those books. The only story I specifically remember was about peeling yellow wallpaper, though.

    @ Demigoddess - haha, I've never gotten THAT bad with overdue fees, but since Goosebumps books were $7, I can picture that happening. I think my biggest overdue bill was $17.50, and my friend paid it because it was his fault the book was returned so late.

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  14. Those book covers are taking me back!

    I just picked up another Goosebumps book from the library. The Ghost Next Door. (Aka, the inspiration for Sixth Sense.)

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  15. @ Sadako - You should do a send-up of them at some point :) They're right up your alley, if you haven't read them before.

    And nice, you're taking these books out of the library? Is it just to generate blog content, or also because you like to read them? Either choice shows some dedication!

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  16. Oh, believe me, I'm familiar with them. I spent way too much of my childhood reading them and watching the TV series.

    I've been taking them out for both reasons. Love reading them and have decided to start blogging on them. I used to blog about them on my other blog, and I've decided to move over some of my old blog posts to my current, Dibbly Fresh blog, and to start doing some more blogging of the books.

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  17. @ Sadako - I feel like I'm James Lipton right now. "Tell me what Monster Blood elicits in your bosom... Does young Sadako feel happy, or sad, when the boy falls into the bathtub of green slime? Do you feel like it is an allegory for man's original sin of eating the apple from the Garden of Eden?"

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  18. Oh, James Lipton. Actually, I think R.L. Stine NEEDS to be on Lipton's Inside the Actor's Studio. So he's not an actor? I'd say his brief intros on the Goosebumps TV series qualifies him, considering that P. Diddy got himself interviewed. I also want to hear R.L. telling us his favorite dirty word.

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  19. @ Sadako - I agree, Lipton has branched out enough, he should get Stine on there. Dave Chappelle and Diddy and Will Ferrell have all been on there, and it's not like they're outstanding actors, even though I like all three.

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