Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Extra, extra! Squirrel eats bird!

When you live in the rural portion of Rhode Island like I do, sometimes you have to deal with some aggressive wildlife. In particular, the squirrels around here are large, vicious creatures. My mom is in a constant struggle with them, since they manage to infiltrate all of her bird feeders.

For example, this one is about six, six-and-a-half feet off the ground. Meaning, for the squirrel to get to it, it shimmied up on to the roof of the house and then jumped from the gutter to the feeder. Persistent little bastards, aren't they?

The ones at the University of Rhode Island, where I graduated from, are even bigger and even more brazen. Because so many students feed them, they barely flinch unless you get up close and personal in their bidness. They are monstrous looking things, with big bulging eyes and stretched-out fur, since squirrels probably aren't meant to be that large.

6 comments:

  1. I'll say it again (and quote Carrie Bradshaw)--squirrels are just rats with cuter coats.

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  2. Well, I'm glad Carrie Bradshaw has said at least one true thing in her life between puffs of nicotine, and other disgusting things in her mouth.

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  3. I have a friend who used to chase any squirrel he saw. He always said they were evil but never explained why.

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  4. Well, that's certainly... vigorous of him. Squirrels freak me out a bit, but sometimes they can be cute and fun to watch run around. Chipmunks are better though.

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  5. I once lived in a neighborhood where the squirrels fought back. Literally. You'd walk out the door and be bombarded by acorns from the treetops. Squirrels are bullies. Both my mom and one of my sisters were attacked by them (on separate occasions and unprovoked. Well, my sis didn't provoke them, but the story goes that my mom was throwing rocks at them. I think she was in Middle School at the time...)

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  6. hahaha, Well, if your mom was throwing rocks at them, it seems like they had good reason to attack. You can't feed them at all, and you have to REALLY secure your trash, otherwise, they're all up in there.

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Try not to be too much of an ass, unless completely necessary. You are subject to tyrannical moderation.

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