Inexplicable Gilmore Girls Review: Okay, Rory IS awful

Warning: Spoilers follow for episodes 21 and 22 for season five of Gilmore Girls, and the first four episodes of season six.

In the last entry I wrote on Gilmore Girls, I wondered aloud whether Rory might actually be a horrible human being. Well, since then, she got arrested for stealing a yacht, her loser boyfriend didn’t suffer many consequences for that action, she dropped out of Yale, and she fought with Lorelai and moved into her grandparents’ pool house.

Outside of that though, things are fine!

So, yeah. I think the show is attempting to portray Rory as going through a bit of a quarter-life crisis. I’m not crazy about it though, because it mostly does this by making her seem meek. The primary influence in Rory’s life to this point – Lorelai – is many things, but meek is not one of them. It therefore stretches credibility to me that Rory just kind of gets swept up by Logan, and then, has a crisis of faith when Logan’s dad tells her she’s not cut out to be a reporter.

The story arc has culminated with Rory and Lorelai being on the outs for the first time in a major way in the series’ run. Sure, they sparred over Rory liking Jess, and staying out overnight with Dean, but there hadn’t been a major blow-up like this one before.

Lorelai also (rightly, in my mind) bristles at Richard and Emily basically using Rory as a Lorelai Make-Up. Meaning, Rory is now their project for social and status gain, whether it’s pairing her up with Logan Huntzberger, getting her involved in the DAR or having her involved in their social activities now. One of the best season five scenes to me happened in the first third of the season, when Lorelai cringes as she watches how easily Rory fits into the high class life she willingly left behind.

Anyway! Some other odds and ends:

- The journalism depictions in Gilmore Girls are laughingly bad, but I wasn’t really expecting much from the show either. Logan’s dad is a newspaper executive in 2004, and he’s incredibly confident, which just makes him seem like many of the buffoonish executives around at that time.

I was a college sophomore and junior in 2004, and although the show was probably filmed in 2003, even then there was a distinctive, “Hey, we might be in trouble!” feel in the newspaper industry. There was also plenty of cost-cutting and layoffs going on before, during and after the run of Gilmore Girls, yet the paper Rory interns at has a comically large newsroom and hustle-and-bustle going on.

By the way, her internship specifically seems horribly miscast. Hollywood and entertainment industry interns might follow around the boss and fetch coffee. Journalism interns start in two gigs – Weekend reporter, covering bake sales and other low stakes shit, or calendar listings and notes sections. Meaning, compiling the large lists of group meetings and events you see in a daily newspaper. Even if Rory is just an intern, and Huntzberger Senior doesn’t think she’s going to be a great reporter, she’s still capable of producing content and copy-editing some listings.

- Logan’s awfulness has been reduced slightly in season six, as he’s a tiny bit more supportive of Rory and less Unavailable Douchebag Boyfriend, a la Jess. However, he’s still “supportive” in an extravagant way, like throwing her a Felon Party and whisking her away to New York. I suppose that if you have money, you should use it, but he mostly uses it to escape any sort of responsibility. Good times!

- Rory and Logan being awful overshadow some of the sweeter plot lines that start season six, like Luke and Lorelai gradually upgrading their house and plotting their wedding, Sookie and Jackson having the only stable relationship on the show, and the road trip with Lane’s band. And hey, Lane’s boyfriend is Zach! I finally remembered because he seems like a dumb, loveable oaf, in comparison to all of the horrible boyfriends on the show.

- Finally, Paul fucking Anka! He’s the MAN, even though he’s a dog. He makes me wish I had a dog. And the real Paul Anka, he has one of the most awesome blow-up tapes ever. “The guys get shirts! Don’t make a fucking maniac out of me. The guys get shirts!”

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Inexplicable Gilmore Girls Review: Stars Hollow and Yale, the worst places on Earth

Warning: Spoilers follow for episodes 1 through 15 for season five of Gilmore Girls, although I’m taking a more circuitous route today than in previous entries. Also, this picture of Paris doesn’t really have anything to do with this entry, but it’s probably her greatest line ever.

Today, I’m going to focus on the worst aspects of Gilmore Girls, which would be the despotic and farcical happenings in the main settings of the show’s fifth season – Stars Hollow and Yale. Anytime that the government or social structure or institutions of either are at the forefront, I’m cringing or rolling my eyes at each unbelievably stupid thing happening.

First, Stars Hollow. I’ve mentioned my dislike of Taylor in several past entries, but the ante is upped in the first part of season five and the last part of season four. He arbitrarily denies permits that the Firefly Inn needs in order to benefit his own business, he screws around with Jackson’s greenhouse because it’s six inches over the property line, he runs meetings like an idiot, and basically just acts like a dictator.

We’re supposed to believe that Stars Hollow is this quaint, folksy place to live, yet Taylor is the show’s embodiment of government and pretty much the fucking worst. It’s just a pet peeve of mine as someone who was forced to sit through dozens of planning and zoning board meetings. That process is boring, but typically fair. TV shows often sidestep and simplify the boring, even if it creates a distorted, stupid version of the truth. [Insert politically time sensitive comment here.]

The breaking point for me was when Lorelai and Luke’s relationship became fodder at a Town Council meeting, or whatever they call them. It was just the most insane, unbelievable shit ever. And yeah, it’s meant to be funny, but I just kept cringing. Gilmore Girls is at its absolute worst during these moments because there is so much more fertile ground they could be tilling! More with Lane and her replacement, more with Paris trying to date, and hey, what’s Marty up to?

So, let me segue to Yale, and all of the annoying fucks there. Logan is seemingly the romantic option for Rory this season, and surprise! He’s awful. He’s just the worst. He has marginally gotten better as the season goes along, as he lets Rory tag along for a story on the Life and Death Brigade, and sort of improves in behavior.

However, his initial debut in the season works as a Moral Event Horizon for me. In his first scene, he belittles Marty and treats him like crap, and in his second scene, he has an aggressive conversation with Rory trying to justify his behavior. He is portrayed as a playboy, but mostly acts like a goon. Like pretty much all of the loser guys Rory dates, he has a weird sort of aggression about him, but hey, I guess the show has established that Rory is only into emotionally unavailable dudes.

Not that this is unusual – people are horrible to one another in their 20s – but I’ve never found any of her boyfriends appealing. Karen forced me to pick one last night, and I begrudgingly went with Jess as of the wedding episode of season five, mostly by default. I don’t know if his self-help stuff stuck at all, but it might have, so that would make him better than Dean (anger and motivation issues) and Logan (just the worst all-around).

The other “ick” Yale aspect is the newspaper, and its editor. Gilmore Girls has two types of characters – nuanced, interesting ones that experience ups and downs (the leads, Lane, Emily, Richard) and completely ridiculous and unbelievable caricatures (Miss Patty, Babette, Taylor). Doyle McMaster is firmly in the second camp. It’s like he studied All The President’s Men, but also, 1950s Superman and Spiderman comics, and that’s how he thinks newspapers are run. Fun times!

Anyway, this entry is mostly focused on the bad. Later this week, I’ll mix in what I like about season five, although it’s much more up-and-down to me than the past ones.

Want to support Steve’s blogging? Then purchase something via the Amazon clickthru link for Your Parents Basement, Steve’s other project! To read all of Steve’s past Inexplicable Movie Reviews, click here! For Inexplicable TV Reviews, click here! For Inexplicable Video Game Reviews, click here! And for Inexplicable Book Reviews, go here!