TV Review: The Grinder, the best legal show ever

Dean (Rob Lowe) with frenemy Timothy  Olyphant (Timothy Olyphant).

 In the past, I’ve heaped praise on Lookwell, the brilliant pilot by Conan O’Brien and Robert Smigel that only got one episode in 1991. It starred Adam West as a wash-up actor who had played a detective on television, who now believed he had the skills to be an actual detective, with the help of his acting class. Spoiler: He did not have the skills, and hilarity ensued. (The full episode is available here on YouTube.)

It took 24 years, but a network has finally decided to run back that concept. The Grinder stars Rob Lowe as a successful actor, Dean Sanderson, finishing up his stint on an over-hyped, super sexualized show called… The Grinder. The show-within-a-show is awesome, and basically an over-the-top parody of things like CSI: Miami and NCIS. Each episode of The Grinder starts with a 30-second snippet of Dean’s acting, and the ridiculous situations of the show.

The actual show itself has Dean struggling to assimilate back to “real life,” with the main dynamic being the strained relationship between him and his brother, Stewart, played by Fred Savage. Stewart and his wife, The Waitress from Always Sunny (Mary Elizabeth Ellis), are seemingly the only ones not star-struck by Dean. Stewart is routinely exasperated by Dean attempting to practice law without a law degree, even more so when he manages to succeed (or at least, to succeed in his delusional mind).

Beyond the brothers, the main thing The Grinder has going for it is a deep and excellent ensemble cast. Dean and Stu’s dad, Dean Sr. (played by William Devane), is one of the standouts, as the small town lawyer partner of the firm they both work for. Natalie Morales from Parks and Recreation is another lawyer at the firm, who is annoyed and unimpressed by Dean. And Todd (Steve Little) gets laughs as being completely in the bag for everything Dean does. Even Stu’s kids are played by sharp, funny actors (Hana Hayes and Connor Halopsis) and have unique aspects, as opposed to being cloying and stereotypical.

The casting excellence extends to the guest stars. The show is only in its first season, but already, Maya Rudolph and Christina Applegate have stolen episodes as the therapist for the brothers and a single mother interested in Dean, respectively. Timothy Olyphant plays Timothy Olyphant on the show, a former friend of Dean who stabs him in the back by starring in The Grinder's New Orleans spin-off. 

Applegate and Lowe had my favorite meta exchange of the show, which can be seen here on YouTube. “You look exactly the same.” “So do you! Almost in a scary way, exactly the same.” (The other great meta moment: The latest episode is a flashback one to the early 1990s, with Jenna Fischer as Dean’s former girlfriend, and Dean complaining about how women get all of the great roles in Hollywood.)

If you’re looking for a satisfying, 23-minute weekly sitcom, then The Grinder is what you need to check out, especially since Modern Family has fallen off a cliff into a deep ravine, never to return to quality. As a result, The Grinder is my favorite network sitcom by far, edging out Mom, which is more of a mixture of comedy and drama.

A sweet and sour Glee finale

So, we've reached the end of the Glee journey for this year. The final episode was a mixture of good and bad, or sweet and sour, to me. Imma break out the good ole bullet list for this, just like a good ole weekend newspaper columnist...

- I liked that New Horizons didn't win, or even place, at regionals. The cheap cop-out to the season would have been to have them win, so I was glad the show didn't take that step. It definitely would have neutered future seasons, giving them one less overall goal to go after, and necessitating more "omg drama!" storylines.

- That being said, I thought Sue Sylvester voting for them to win, and getting them another year, was a bit against character. However, the show pulled it off the best they could, by having the other three judges go even more pompous than her. Nice cameo usage of Olivia Newton-John, Josh Groban and the other dude, too. Also, unlike some on the Internet, I do think that Sue read the right winners off the card.

- I found Vocal Adrenaline's performance kind of lame. And also, wasn't the plan for New Horizons to do a funk number in regionals? That just happened last episode! I don't even think it was acknowledged that they were dropping it, just that Will's love for Journey would mean that they'd be doing that instead. Ultimately, it was probably a good choice, but still.

- Regarding the whole Quinn pregnancy angle, a lot of it was pretty unrealistic. So, Rachel's mom is adopting the baby? That's convenient. As was Quinn's mom dumping the dad and showing up just in time for regionals. As was, heck, the whole sudden BFF relationship between Quinn and Mercedes. Was I just not paying attention throughout the season, or were all of these sudden developments? However, a lot of the delivery room scenes were pretty humorous.

- I did like that Quinn and Puck seemed to bond a bit with the birth, and that Quinn still had the courage to go through with the adoption anyway. Again, the "cheap happy" route would have been for Quinn to keep the baby.

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- Finally, Will and Emma. I've gone from being a big fan of them getting together to being quite "meh" on the whole thing. I think Will came off more as Psycho Ex in the finale than actually a good dude. I don't really think that they match up particularly well in terms of actual personality, even if it does seem like it should work on paper. I contrast the whole thing to Community, where the writers saw that the leads didn't actually have much romantic chemistry, so they decided to audible the whole thing in the finale. Glee needs this sort of audible too, with Will either hooking up with Rachel's mom or a yet-to-be-introduced character that he connects better with. (Rachel and Finn have the same problem, but to a lesser extent.)

Anyway. Despite my nitpicking, I thought this was a solid but unspectacular finish, which is perfectly reasonable for an ending. It was still miles better than the finale of Modern Family, which is appreciated.

Modern Family almost jumps the shark in finale

Dear Modern Family,

You have consistently been the most accessible new show on network television in your debut season. For example, my mom likes watching you, and she's not normally super-into television sitcoms. You are consistently funny, and you will definitely be in my Top Five when I do my "end of season" rankings.

That being said, were you just plain out of ideas for this finale? The final five minutes, in particular, were just straight-up bad. Really, a mud fight during a family portrait that would eventually end in Claire loosening up a bit? Seriously? That is the kind of shit I would expect from Two and a Half Men or Will and Grace or Blossom or some other horrid, by the numbers sitcom. Come on, Modern Family - You're better than that.

Before the last five minutes, you did have some decent moments. I loved Mitchell freaking out about the bird being loose in the house. Phil getting in trouble with Claire is always funny. And Luke being wrapped in plastic to avoid getting messy before the picture? Totally awesome. However, why did you have to screw it all up with those last five minutes? Sigh!

Grade: C-

Is Julie Bowen hotter than Sofia Vergara?

To answer the question posed by the title of this entry, before Wednesday night's episode of Modern Family, I had been leaning toward Bowen being hotter anyway. There is something that strikes me as “fake” when it comes to Sofia. It's not quite the female-female impersonator level, which strikes Pamela Anderson, but she almost seems too good to be true. Also, I envision her being completely batshit crazy, which doesn't help.

In contrast, Bowen is no doubt a feast for the eyes, and she seems stable and attainable. Julie Bowen is the hot girl that your best buddy settles down with early. At the time, everyone is like, “Hey, whoa man, looks like you traded in your freedom too early, yuck yuck yuck!” But then, as time passes, and they're happily married, you just realize... That magnificent bastard. He married up!

So yes, I'd favor Bowen over Vergara at this point – Call it a 10 to 9 boxing decision, as opposed to a flat out KO. And oh, there was a hilarious new Modern Family on Wednesday night. The evil Alex moment of the night? When she gleefully spilled to Claire (Bowen!) that Haley had been drinking. “You're not going to like this as much as I do, but she's drunk.” mwhahaha. So perfect.

The other great scenes of the episode were between Luke, the normal little kid, and Manny, the Rico Suave in training. Manny was a complete neat freak in his room, which led to Luke being the messy one, spouting off things like, “I am a bathroom Martian!” and “I'm wrinkling your linen!!!” The kids definitely stole the show from the adults this past episode, although the other plots – Jay throwing out his back, Phil being Phil – were still great.

Grade: A+

Laughing like a banshee with Modern Family

Just a quick one for today, since I've been busy with work and a bit behind in my viewing. I still have to watch this week's Community, Parks and Recreation, and The Office, and I have several episodes of Legends of Wrestling sitting on my computer, along with the entire season run of Justified, which I haven't even tried to start watching. (Yeah, everyone I know who watches loves and adores the show, but like LOST and Arrested Development and Always Sunny, I didn't want to jump in half-way.)

So instead, let me focus on Wednesday's episode of Modern Family, which was nearly perfect. The other day, I harped about the consistency of The Ricky Gervais Show, Community and Archer, and yet Modern Family somehow got left out of the discussion. For shame! Modern Family is the best of the bunch, which is even more impressive considering that it didn't have the early hiccups that Community did, and it also has a full 20+ episode run, which The Ricky Gervais Show and Archer do not have to worry about.

The best part about Modern Family is that while individual episodes normally have two or three main story arcs, all the secondary characters are still given something to do. This "something to do" is normally hilarious, which helps. For example, on Wednesday's show the main issues seemed to be 1) Phil and Mitchell racing back to Mitchell's house and 2) Claire's anxiety about flying with an eventual Weekend at Bernie's routine and 3) Jay seeing his dream Hawaiian vacation erode away as Gloria heaped more and more activities on it.

These plots were all pretty funny, but I loved the little moments even more. Like when Haley crushed on a guy for the entire episode, and then she and Alex found out that he was only 13... and Alex laughed like a banshee for a solid half-minute. The other son, Luke, is also almost too ridiculously funny, like when he ran through the screen door in last week's episode.

Grade: A+

Wherein I link to neat things

I don't really have time to write about the awesome Modern Family episode I saw last night yet, so instead, please settle for a couple links to some neat things I saw other people link to on the Internetz. (I'm so original like that.)

- This is a super awesome version of Super Mario Brothers. You can play the standard game as Mario... Or as Samus Aran from Metroid, complete with bombs and a blaster! Other options include the Contra guy, Mega Man, Link and Simon Belmont. (Another silly-fun video linked on that page: Life in 8-bit.)

- One high school or AAU team hits a three with a second left, to take a lead, and they think they've won the game. Uh, whoops!

- And finally, I have no clue why, but it is incredibly compelling to watch this girl play Shadowgate with her boyfriend. Beating Shadowgate was one of my biggest accomplishments as a kid, since I did it mostly via trial and error, and some scant hints in Nintendo Power magazine. I also played The Uninvited, which wasn't quite as good Deja Vu, a send-up of Raymond Chandler and other detective types. (Also neat: 25 things you might not have known about the NES.)

TV Review: I love you, Phil Dunphy.

Everybody dies boys, let's focus on what's important!

This was a strong episode of Modern Family, especially for Phil. That sly old fox had some great lines sprinkled throughout, such as the one above I used for the photo cutline. The other great line he had? "One day I'm going to be a grandfather, and then everybody better hide their meat."

Anyway, his drama with his father-in-law Jay felt a little rehashed, since Jay basically has authority problems with every character on the show. The episode's other plot lines were pretty amusing, although a bit more bittersweet than usual, with Cameron realizing he hates being away from Lilly, and Alex and Manny pulling away from their respective parents. And while I love the middle daughter's character, it was pretty funny to have Claire get vicious, mom-like revenge on her at the end.

So yeah. I have no real idea why Modern Family took two episodes off; maybe it had something to do with them filming the season's final episode(s?) in Hawaii. Regardless, they didn't miss a beat in their two episodes off TV. It's still mandatory watching if you're any sort of fan of Arrested Development-style humor.

Grade: A

TV Review: Modern Family delightfully mixes the sass with the sap

While I'm as amazed as everyone else that Two and a Half Men apparently now sets the standard for television sitcom ratings, at least Modern Family gives me hope on a weekly basis that people are developing better taste. The three families involved in the show each have their dramatic and farcical highs and lows that make for a delightful stew of Good each week.

The main overlapping theme between the three families on Wednesday night's episode was trust, although the dramatic "high" involved the gay couple going through a crisis while raising their adopted baby. Already a bit high-strung because of their status as a gay couple, they had the additional problem of their baby seemingly bonding with their Asian pediatrician and calling her mommy. Melodramatic, over-the-top hilarity ensued.

However, like every episode of the show, there was a tint of humor to even these somewhat-somber proceedings. Thankfully, Modern Family never switches into full-out Grace Under Fire mode; there is always a laugh buried into the dialogue. Also thankfully, nobody has gotten cancer or abused by their parent yet. (Note – I was not much of a fan of Grace Under Fire, obviously, yet still somehow know enough to know those were both plot points. I'm a little ashamed with myself right now.)

Modern Family packs a lot into its 22 minutes, as there were actually three other storylines in this week's episode. As a contrast to the gay couple, the lightest plot involved the "normal" family looking for treasure underneath the house, and being scared of the dark space there. (See the image I used at the top.)

The normal family tends to be my favorite in each episode, and the singular best moment of the episode was when the mom attempted to teach the middle daughter how to dance [right]. This wasn't that successful, and the daughter's awkward cringe as a girl her age walked by her reeked of authenticity. As she watched in horror as her mother danced, the daughter said, "Now I understand why you're with dad."

Also crammed into the episode were subplots involving the oldest daughter of the normal family trying to get her driver's license – on her third try – and the old-young family trying to overcome their collective fear of roller coasters. All-in-all, it was a great restart for Modern Family, which had been off since Valentine's Day. If you still haven't gotten into the show, then this is an easy-enough introduction to the series for you.

Grade: A

Shows that need your support - Modern Family and Archer

I was sad when Arrested Development went off the air. This is because for years, a couple friends had been trying to get me to watch it, and yet, I refused, because I was too busy... Well, not really "busy", but resistant to the show. Then I watched it, and fell in love, which was also the case with Firefly. I have such poor timing.

Therefore, let me hype up the following shows. I've written about some of them before, but some I haven't, and pretty much all of them could be on the chopping block... without your support! Please, don't let those evil networks take these shows.

- Modern Family has surprisingly seen its ratings increase against American Idol, but I still worry about its long-term survival. It has picked up some awards from the Writers Guild too, so hopefully, that will ensure another season. The New York Post notes in its review that the show has been picked up for 24 episodes in the fall.


- Archer is the latest project from Adam Reed, the past creator of great animated shows like Sealab 2021 and Frisky Dingo. It has had good ratings so far in its time slot, 10 p.m. Thursday on FX, as it continues on the sort of indecent humor popularized by It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and The League in that time slot.

However, Archer has been better than Reed's previous efforts because of the all-star voice cast he has to work with. H. Jon Benjamin, a.k.a. Coach McGuirk from Home Movies, plays the lead role of the secret ISIS agent Archer. Joining him as voices are Chris Parnell from Saturday Night Live, Jessica Walter (Lucille) and Judy Greer (Kitty) from Arrested Development, and Aisha Tyler from Talk Soup. The Seattle Times gave the show a shout-out this past week, and I can attest that the episode was awesome.

The Arrested Development photo is from this site.

Modern Family has massive... talents.

After a couple of admonishments from friends that I wasn't watching, consider me a convert to Modern Family, the closest show to Arrested Development that I've seen on network television since its demise. (Note: I haven't seen Better Off Ted yet, the only other show I've heard compared to it.) While Modern Family is definitely rooted more in reality, it still has a sort of reckless spirit about it that allows all of its characters to have their own, entertaining identity.

Of course, this is my effing blog, so I'll note my five characters that really make the show tick - the evil middle daughter, Sofia Vergara and her breasts, the wacky middle class dad, the straight normal mom counterpart played Julie Bowen, and of course, Ed freakin' O'Neill. Tackling them in order...

- Like my love for Brittany on Glee, the Evil Middle Daughter Alex played by Ariel Winter is simply incredible, even though she isn't in that many scenes. However, when she is in a scene, she preys upon the gullible nature of her older sister Haley and younger brother Luke. The most prominent example, and the one cited on Wikipedia, is how she tricked both of them into believing that you can recharge a cell phone battery by rubbing it on your forehead.

- On the opposite end of the spectrum from Alex's subtle, seething evil is Sofia, who plays Gloria, an over-the-top Colombian trophy wife with an outrageous accent. I get the feeling that the role might not be much of a stretch for her, outside of having to pretend to love Ed O'Neill. I mean, he's a funny guy and all, but still. Even as far as trophy wives go, Ed is doing pretty gosh darn good for himself.

- Claire (Bowen) and Phil (Ty Burrell) go a bit hand-in-hand, as the married couple are the "normal" family that a lot of the humor derives from. For example, in one of the most recent episode, Phil gets hurt and has to go to the hospital for an operation... but before he does, Claire feels the need to get dressed up for the hot firefighters taking him into an ambulance.

Bowen is portrayed as the lead in some ways, since I believe she has the most screen time of any of the characters. Naturally, Burrell comes in at a close second. He is the "cool dad", although this is a self-granted title that couldn't be further from the truth. Bowen's character always has a sort of brewing, brimming rage, and the eventually lash out is almost always great.

- And finally, hey, how can you go wrong with any show that has Ed "Al Bundy" O'Neill? While his most famous role might be from Married With Children, I'll always remember him as the creepy coffee and donut shop manager Glen from Wayne's World, and his little monologues:

So Wayne, I hear you're putting on some kind of concert. That's good. People need to be entertained, they need the distraction. I wish to God that someone would be able to block out the voices in my head for five minutes, the voices that scream, over and over again: Why do they come to me to die? Why do they come to me to die?