Steveats: JC’s Pie Bites (are really arid)

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"Key Lime."

Debuting a new, semi-regular feature! I tryout questionable food items so that you don’t have to in… Steveats. (Note: Title developed in about 10 seconds of brainstorming.)

I’m a guy who can’t pass up a deal, even if that “deal” involves clearance aisle dessert items that are destined for the garbage compacter. JC’s Pie Bites were going for $0.50 a package at my local Stop and Shop, and unfortunately, they were appropriately priced.

I’d like to bring to your attention first the discrepancy between the package image and the actual pie bite. I expect some embellishment, but goodness, they look like completely different things! I was assuming I’d get one, nice big ball (heh), but instead, the balls come three to a sack (heh heh). Also, they are shriveled, and look like owl pellets or something worse.

As you can see, they’re dry. These are not juicy balls. The best comparison I can think of for the strawberry shortcake flavor is the famous Good Humor bars, and they kind of taste like a drier, worse version of those. The key lime pie bites are even worse.

I got these for 50 cents a pack, off the normal price of $1, but both are too much for these. They’re edible, but they aren’t items I’d ever spend money on again. They’re the sort of forgettable, sugary candy that works as a novelty, but not a consistent snack item. Spend your money on actual Good Humor bars instead of these pale imitations.

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Steveats: Unusual Easter Candy

From the Russell Stover website. I now wanna try the caramel and peanut butter rabbits too...

Debuting a new, semi-regular feature! I tryout questionable food items so that you don’t have to in… Steveats. (Note: Title developed in about 10 seconds of brainstorming.)

It’s the first time sensitive Steveats! Since Easter was about two weeks ago, I took advantage of the 50 percent off sales at CVS, and Stop and Shop, for some noms. Don’t worry – I got plenty of normal stuff. But I also did my best to get some of the more bizarre items to try, such as…

The Reese’s white chocolate and peanut butter egg, and the Milky Way Simply Caramel bunny. First things first, the Reese’s egg looks and feels disgusting. The chocolate felt like it was going to crumble as I touched it, and it was like, white-white, as you can probably see from the photo. Something about that made me uneasy. Maybe because it looked like a bar of soap? Still though, it was an OK piece of candy. Not great, but it wasn’t horrible for the 49 cents I paid for it.

However, the Milky Way bunny? That was hot fire. It was really good, and I would totally have another one. (And in fact, I did go back and buy a couple more.) They have a surprising amount of caramel, and it’s the same delicious chocolate product used in the normal Milky Way bar. I’m glad they’ve gotten into the Easter candy game.

I also had some M&M’s Eggs, which had peanut butter inside of them. These weren’t really anything special though. They are basically the usual peanut butter M&M’s in egg-shaped servings. The change in shape made them slightly thicker, but overall, they tasted the same. No need to go out of your way to experience them.

Next up… The Frankford Cookies and Cream bunny. This thing was friggin’ disgusting. I was expecting something similar to the Hersey’s cookies and cream candy bar, which is an occasional, delicious treat for me from a gas station. However, this was way more cheap white chocolate with barely any chocolate cookie crunch. Hard pass.

Not pictured by me though, that I had with Karen – a cookie-dough filled bunny from Russell Stover, I believe. This was just OK at first, but then we had a great brainstorm – Put it in the fridge! Once the cookie dough was a bit chilled, it was so much better, and we ate the whole thing in a single sitting as we watched Journey to the Center of the Earth. (Apparently, it’s not scientifically accurate for a 1959 film! Although it was awesome to see James Mason, the basis for Bill Hader’s best impression.)

Moving on to marshmallowed sweets… Orange Crème Peeps were surprisingly good! Although as a warning, they were messy and strongly scented. Like, they stained my fingertips slightly orange, like I was a filthy Cheetos eater. Also, who is the Peeps company fooling with this “three servings” stuff? If I’m opening a package of Peeps as an adult, I’m eating ALL of the Peeps. I’m plowing through them like a fox would an actual nest of bunnies. (Or whatever bunnies live in.)

Far less tasty were Party Cake Peeps. They were just as messy as the Orange Crème ones, and not as good, and I’m a man who normally enjoys birthday cake-flavored ice cream more than actual birthday cake. You also got two less peeps! They were slightly larger than the Orange Crème ones, but the overall weight was slightly lower.

So then! My odd Easter candy power rankings: 1) Cookie dough bunny. 2) Milky Way caramel bunny. 3) Orange Crème peeps. Then a biggggg gap. 4) Birthday Cake peeps. 5) Reese’s white egg. Big gap again. 6) Cookies and cream bunny. I’d add that the first two are the only ones I’d include with the true classics, like the Cadbury cream eggs and straight-up Peeps. (And don’t you worry – I bought CVS out of their supply of the Cadbury eggs, and about five things of Peeps from Stop and Shop.)

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"You eat a lot of dairy."

A balanced diet of yogurt, cheese and sour cream.

The latest trend with me and a small group of friends have been posting pictures of our grocery shopping trip. I’m not sure why this is so oddly fascinating to people… But then again, I find myself equally fascinated by it when other people post the results of their shopping trips. So, because I’d hate to deny y’all my latest shopping trip, you can see it to the left.

It was a pretty purposeful trip, since I’m thinking about moving out of my current apartment. As a result, I’m trying to mostly contain my buying to smaller items (yogurt), items to facilitate the emptying of my fridge and cupboards (chips for salsa, cheese for crackers), and drinks (iced tea mix, diet soda).

Yes, the shadow is me.

The only “splurging” I did was on some Havarti cheese, which I haven’t dipped into yet. However, even that was on sale at $6.99 a pound – that tends to be the entry point for non-Cabot / Cracker Barrel / store brand packaged cheese.

Obviously, I will provide the full review via Steve on Cheese when the time comes. I will say that some Gouda I bought the other week was disappointing, and I eventually just melted it down and used it to top my pasta with. Here’s hoping the Havarti fares a little bit better.