Inexplicable TV Review: Bones, almost literally limping to the finish line

You can tell this is from a past season because they're smiling.

Warning: Spoilers follow for the current and past seasons of Bones. Like for real, don’t read this if you’re honestly concerned about the fate of certain characters.

Hey guys, remember when Bones was a plucky, forensics-based weekly procedural that mostly served as a convenient excuse to see attractive people like Emily Deschanel, David Boreanaz, Michaela Conlin and Carla Gallo, make cute and flirt with one another?

Well, surprise! Much like the death spiral of Psych, Bones seems content to smash all of the characters you love to bits while its burns off its final episodes, much like a toddler destroying its toys in a fit of rage. I thought the previous seasons’ focus on ridiculously implausible computer hacker Pelant was veering too much into Very Special Episode territory, but someone in charge of the show apparently decided that was the way to go for the final two seasons as well.

Bones has already been renewed for a final season, which will probably be 13, 18 or 23 episodes of misery. But in this season and the previous season, we’ve seen Sweets killed after we learned he got his lady pregnant, Bones and Booth almost breaking up because of his gambling addiction, Hodgins becomes paralyzed, and then, he starts emotionally abusing Angela. Ye gads.

On a better show, this subject material could be handled well. However, Bones has always been more about breezy fun, or at least, it used to be. I’m tuning into Bones because I want to see them solve some murder mysteries while Temperance “Bones” Brennan hilariously misinterprets everyday social actions. I’m not watching because I want to see the characters’ lives destroyed.

This seems to be a common problem for shows as they age – I wrote earlier this year about how Suits has turned into a serious-but-lighthearted legal show into an over-the-top weekly melodrama. The worst example though is the show I mentioned in the opening paragraph, Psych, which got really heavy-handed as it neared the finish line. The last season of that show is just all sorts of ugh and meh.

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Inexplicable TV Review: Galavant Gala-like

Somehow, Galavant is kind of an OK show. I’m not entirely sure how, since the concept – a musical twist on the classical damsel in distress, dungeons and dragons affair – seems like a Monty Python sketch stretched way too thin. How do they make it work for one 22-minute episode? Nevermind eight of them!

However, in execution, Galavant basically works as a version of Glee that is not completely up its own ass with seriousness. Everything is tongue-in-check and played for laughs, and with the surging popularity of things like Game of Thrones and Tolkien’s entire literary history now fodder for blockbusters, there is plenty of spoofing material.

The premise – The hero Galavant has his lover, Madalena, taken from him by the dastardly king. He storms the castle in an attempt to rescue her… Only to be told at the altar, by her, that she likes this new arrangement and her new things and doesn’t need rescuing. He’s knocked out, and time passes, allowing him to become vagrant-y. The now-Queen Madalena turns out to be a terror, and in an attempt to win her over more completely, the king concocts a plot to build Galavant back up for a duel in front of the queen, at which point he will kill Galavant.

All of this features singing. A lot of singing. A lot of hilarious, tongue-in-check singing. I mentioned Monty Python before, and while nothing reaches the heights of “Always Look On The Bright Side of Life,” most of the tunes are at least as good as “Camelot.” It’s a show that’s clearly made with goofy fun, with actors making obvious asides and winking statements to the camera, which makes it easier to hang in with.

In the words of a famous man, it's good to be the king.

There is a small bit of wasted potential in the concept though, in that they clearly had to skimp a bit on the acting talent. The standout is Timothy Omundson as the king, showing off some comedic chops after basically play straight-laced for eight years as Carlton Lassiter on Psych. His kidnapped damsel turned torturer Madalena, played by Australian model Mallory Jansen, is also a standout, as is Karen David as Princess Isabella Maria Lucia Elizabeth of Valencia. Vinnie Jones basically plays the king’s lead henchman as Snatch’s Bulletproof Tony in the 1200s… not that that’s a bad thing.

The rest of the cast, including the lead role, are shakier. They don’t detract from the fun, but they don’t add as much. And the guest stars are where the show is at its absolute hammiest. John Stamos, Weird Al and Ricky Gervais are just way too on the nose when it comes to the comedic accessory parts. Unlike the very best spoof movies, there isn’t a Lloyd Bridges or Robert Stack or Peter Graves to balance this out. (Okay, all three of them are dead. Yeah but still.)

The reception to the show has been mixed. On one hand, it has gotten average to very good reviews from most sources. On the other hand, it’s been pretty horribly rated. It started with 7.42 million viewers and a 2.0 in the 18 to 49 demo, but it slid to 1.3 in its second week and 0.9 in its third week. The final two episodes are on Sunday, and it can’t be a cheap show to produce, so a second season seems unlikely.

The title card and picture of Tim and Mallory are common promotional images floating around the Internet.

TV Review: The Forgotten should be

[Right]: Not even Cuthbert can... Um... sorry, I forgot what I was talking about.

There is something authentic but unbelievable about The Forgotten, the Christian Slater vehicle on after LOST. On one hand, it has all of the slick production values and babble that you'd expect from a forensics-style show.

But... When I was watching last night, I just couldn't shake the feeling that it was far, far more sizzle than steak. Frankly, it intentionally shoots for super, duper melodrama. I've watched parts of three or four episodes, since it comes on after LOST, and each time there was always one scene that made me go, "This is too excruciating - I'm changing the channel."

Last night's episode served as the series finale, since the show has been mercifully canceled already. The show apparently got some advance notice of the decision, since the finale did wrap up the series-long angle of Slater's daughter's abduction. Of course, it did so haphazardly, while also tying in some mumbo-jumbo about an Internet scavenger hunt game for money and a serial killer who was probably going to be a recurring character, but isn't now, since the show is canceled.

The show revolved around the idea that Slater led a group of amateur detectives who like to hunt down criminals. Okay, if that's the case, shouldn't things be a bit more lighthearted? Instead, there were plenty of cases about abducted kids and murders and what not. Given the premise of the show and the presence of Slater, I would expect something more in the vein of Psych, and less like Cold Case.

The odd thing is that the supporting characters also seem to be there for mostly comic relief, and thus contrast poorly with Slater's super-serious-guys demeanor. I'm especially referring to Elisha Cuthbert, who is in the last couple episodes of the series. She is so stunningly gorgeous that she steals every scene she is in. Seriously, Elisha, you've got it going on. Good work!

As a result, the show is, well, was, just a big mess. The characters feel like they're fighting for airtime in different shows and Slater is way, way too serious for everyone else. What happened to that baby-faced older brother we all fell in love with in The Wizard? (Note: This was probably just me.)

Grade: D+

The Steve Greenwell TV Guide

[Left] The album title expresses my sentiments about television. And, by the way, did you know she's married to Nick Cannon? Seriously! Strange. She and him kind of fly under the radar, whereas everyone freaks out about Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.

On the recommendation of frequent contributor Amanda Meyer, and from friends like Nicole and Kate, I finally started watching Lost. While I had always thought I'd like the show, I held off on watching it in the past because I was worried about adding yet another show to the weekly list I have to watch. Sure enough, I've burnt through 16 episodes in 24 hours, and unless something really distracts me in the next few weeks, I should be able to catch up on the past seasons by the new season's start in January 2010.

For my own benefit, and to generate some discussion on this here blog, here are the other shows I try to stay abreast of. Most of them will probably not shock you. They are ordered by their premiere dates; some have started already, while some start in a few weeks. The list:

- Dinner: Impossible, sixth season premiered in August on Food Network. I dislike Food Network shows a lot of the time because it can be such a pain to watch them, but this is one of the few that I'll go out of my way to watch. (For example, Brian Boitano's show has new episodes on Saturday and Sunday mornings, because I really want to wake up at 9 a.m. to watch a cooking show.) New episodes are normally Wednesday nights, with repeats on Sundays.

- Psych, fifth season premiered Friday, August 7 on USA. I'm really behind on the adventures of James Roday, unfortunately, but I do try to watch it whenever I'm home on a Friday night. That hasn't been a lot lately, which is sad, because it normally means I'm working somewhere. (I don't go out on Fridays; I'm no longer that cool.)

- Top Chef, sixth season premiered Wednesday, August 19 on Bravo. I missed a couple of the middle episodes, but I've caught the last two. So far, I think this has been a decent season, at least compared to the most recent ones.

- Community, first season premiered Thursday, September 17 on NBC. I'm hoping that this show, which features Joel McHale and Chevy Chase and John Oliver and Ken Jeong as recurring cast members, gets a chance to thrive on Thursday nights. I think it is a natural show to slow before or after The Office. It has only had one episode, which was a bit bumpy, but still showed plenty of promise. McHale (from E!'s The Soup) plays a sleazy kinda-lawyer who has to go back to community college to earn a degree to resume practicing law.

- Parks and Recreation, second season premiered Thursday, September 17 on NBC. Of all the shows on this list, this one has the greatest chance of falling off. While I love Amy Poheler, Parks and Recreation really does feel like a low-energy, dumber version of The Office. It might be saved because it is on the same note as two other shows on this list, so I'll be catching a lot of it by accident anyway.

- The Office, sixth season premiered Thursday, September 17 on NBC. This was a "Michael being silly" episode, but I still thought it was a decent start. I'm also the only person who seemingly likes that Pam and Jim are sweet and don't have problems. Why does every TV couple have to be miserable for people to like them?

- It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, fifth season premiered Thursday, September 17 on FX. Unlike Lost, I didn't catch up on previous seasons before the show restarted this year. As a result, I'll probably try to play catch-up with the show when I get a chance. Judging from the rest of my list, it might have to wait until next year for me to get completely on its schedule.

- Saturday Night Live, 35th season premieres Saturday, September 26 on NBC. Hey, the quality really does ebb and flow, but I still catch almost every episode of a season live. There are still five to 10 great, "must see the next day" sketches per season.

- Family Guy, eighth seasons premieres Sunday, September 27 on FOX. While it seems like a lot of my friends have moved on from this show, I still get a kick out of it every week. Yeah, as South Park points out, a lot of the humor relies primarily on asides and non-plot gags. Who cares? It is still funny, even if it doesn't have the critical value. Their spoof of The Empire Strikes Back is also scheduled for this season.

- The Cleveland Show, first season premieres Sunday, September 27 on FOX. I don't think this looks great, but I'll at least give it a chance because it is made by the Family Guy, uh, guys. I really think that Quagmire would have been a much better choice for his own show.

- South Park, 13th season resumes Wednesday, October 7 on Comedy Central. Yes, I'm surprised as anybody that this show has made it to a 13th season. I really have no idea what they'll talk about when the season resumes, but that's part of the appeal.

- The Venture Bros., fourth season premieres Sunday, October 18 on Cartoon Network. This is my favorite animated series, even more than Family Guy and Futurama, because it is so bloody clever at times. For those who have never seen it, The Ventures Bros. basically spoofs old spy shows and cartoons, especially Johnny Quest. Underneath this layer of spoof, there hums some good characters and mysteries, though, which is neat. I'm especially excited because it hasn't had any new content for more than a year, and even that "season" was only 11 episodes. Apparently, only two guys write the scripts and the animation is done old-school style, so the production time is really long.

- Lost, sixth (and final) season premieres January 2010, on ABC. See the start of this entry for more information, but I'm confident I can catch up on the other five seasons by the time it restarts.

I'm sure I've forgotten a couple shows, so feel free to ask me about them in the comments section.