Narrowing the focus to the square idiot box

I've been at this whole blogging game for almost a year, and in that time, I've noticed some things. As a result, I will be trying to narrow the focus a bit, as the end of the football season will mean the end of the regular Bob, Steve and Kristin column for a bit.

Basically, the entries that get the biggest response on here are generally 1) about television or 2) about me or 3) about sports. And, although I like writing them from time to time, nobody likes reading about music. I'm basing this on a combination of evaluating hit numbers on individual entries and the comments on various entries (quantity and quality).

This makes sense to me on an intuitive level, because unless the person is a master wordsmith, my eyes normally glaze over when reading about music as well. For example, I love reading Cousin Brandon's take on music, and I've started to cherry-pick some of his songs in order to expand my listening range.

However, if anything, my talent seems to lie with television criticism. This is no doubt because I love watching it, on one hand, and on the other, there isn't really established giants in the field. For whatever reason, television doesn't attract the same quality of writing as movies, where Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel were doing landmark work for years before they even got on television. (To this day, Ebert remains one of my writing idols, and he still hasn't lost his fastball. Need proof? Check out his review for Transformers 2.)

So, in an effort to embrace this, I will be trying to do at least one television-related post per day. Ideally, I'd like to watch a random 30-minute to 60-minute program, and then post about it. Sometimes, this will be in lieu of a non-television entry and be posted at the normal 7 p.m. time. But, for those of you not relying on Blogger's dashboard or an RSS feed to follow my blog, any alternate entries will be going up at 12 p.m.

What will I cover? Basically, anything on television. This includes commercials, which I've loved to hack at in the past. (Sneak preview: My first entry will be on a ridiculously appealing and clever new commercial, for a change.) It includes commentary on sports commentary. It includes reviews of new and old and really old television shows, since one goal with this is to expose myself to new shows. (And yeah, I realize how bad that sounds.) And, most excitingly of all, it includes watching the Home Shopping Network, QVC and informercials, all three of which have the best unintentional humor on television.

If you have any recommendations for something you'd like to see me tackle, like a television show to review or a commercial to mock, well, my e-mail address remains the same - sgre6768@gmail.com. Use it, folks!

The absolutely great image is from this rage-filled and well-written entry.

The Updated Steve Greenwell TV Guide

I'm providing an update to my earlier TV guide, since I've added and remembered a couple shows, and some shows have been demoted. To use some sports terminology, which will infuriate Danielle Membrino, I'll give each show the designation of Majors, AAA, AA and released.

Majors means I watch it every week, AAA means I'm about to start watching, AA means I'm intrigued and considering getting into a show, and released means the show is dead to me now. I also bolded the best show of the respective night, if applicable, because I was bored.

Monday

- Heroes, NBC, released. I've officially thrown the towel in on Heroes; I simply don't think it can be saved. I mean, the other week they had Claire sharing a lesbian kiss with some girl! That isn't her. Knock that shit off, Heroes. Listen, I'm hip, but that was such an obvious ratings grab that I was disgusted. I stopped watching regularly after the first two episodes of this season, as I find the Weird Tattoo Guy not compelling in the slightest. They should have simply kept Sylar as the main villain. How many years have the X-Men fought against Magneto? That seemed to work out pretty well for them.

- WWE Monday Night Raw, USA, Majors. This isn't as "must see" as is used to be. Since switching to weekly celebrity guest hosts, the show has become a bit stale to me. Still, I'm hopeful that Kofi Kingston and Legacy can shake up the card a bit. Cena, HHH, HBK and Orton are all a bit overexposed to me right now.

- Monday Night Football, ESPN, Majors. I figured this deserved a separate mention from a below mention of football. This year, Jaws and Gruden work so well together that I'll often switch over from Raw, and stay switched over. Definitely a big improvement from their booths of the past few years.

Wednesday

- Dinner: Impossible, Food Network, Majors. I don't care how much Chef Robert plagarized on his resume, he is still lovely to me. I just wish this didn't overlap with Top Chef's night, since I generally prefer Top Chef.

- Glee, FOX, AAA. I've seen some episodes here and there, and I've enjoyed them, but I haven't immersed myself fully in the show. It is high in my queue, though.

- Lost, ABC, Majors. I'm still racing to catch up in time for the new episodes, but I'll probably still make it. All the other new shows that are out are affecting my time table a bit though, in addition to the stuff I have to do for my various works. However: I will be caught up by the time Lost resumes in January. I'm currently on episode 16 or 17 of the third season, so I'm more than halfway there as-is.

- Modern Family, ABC, AA. I haven't started watching this yet, and it's deep down my queue, but it could force its way up with all the rave reviews I keep hearing about it. More than one person has mentioned Arrested Development when trying to explain it to me, which is high praise. I also note that it has the vampy Sofia Vergara, who is from one of my favorite shows that got canceled, Knights of Prosperity.

- South Park, Comedy Central, Majors. Since not everyone here is a fan of Bill Simmons, but since some of you are fans of South Park, I really recommend that everyone check out his podcast with Trey Parker. It is actually broken off into two sections and more than an hour in length, but there is a lot of good stuff about how the show is created, what they find funny, and just general interesting background information on both of them. And p.s., South Park is awesome and hasn't lost its touch at all, as episodes this season have seen Butters as a pimp, the boys running a wrestling promotion and Michael "Mr. Jefferson" Jackson preventing a bunch of celebrities from getting out of Limbo.

- Top Chef, Bravo, Majors. I think this season has been a mini-Renaissance for the show, as there has been a good balance between the drama (the brothers hating on each other, the super bitchy old lady mom), the hot (that blonde oh la la!) and the quality, as the chefs can actually cook well.

Thursday

- Community, NBC, Majors. A couple of the season's middle episodes lagged, but the most recent one, in which Joel McHale talked Troy into playing football again, was really strong. While McHale is the star of the show, the ensemble itself is strong. And man, forget about Brita; the real gorgeous one on the program is Alison Brie [left]. She is quite, quite fetching, and there is nothing cheesy about her performance. (Oh yeah, I went there.) I think I would like Brita more if 1) her character wasn't so abrasive and 2) her hair didn't have that weird curl in it.

- Parks and Recreation, NBC, Majors. I was ready to give up on this show after seeing its second season premiere, but a friend convinced me to give it another shot. And man, it did not disappoint! While Amy's character is still a little too unbelievable for me to get fully behind, and the-girl-who-lost-to-Pam is still kind of boring, the rest of the cast is really strong. This includes Tom, Tom and Amy's boss, and the emo girl who is also strangely attractive. Kudos to Parks and Recreation for rebounding after a lackluster start.

- The Office, NBC, Majors. The cool new Internet meme is to complain about how much The Office stinks as compared to its past seasons. (At least this reasoning has replaced the "British Office is 700 times better!!!" talk that dominated hipster snob talk beforehand.)

- It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, FX, Majors. It all comes down to a few words: Milk steak. Jelly beans, raw. Full-on rapist.

Friday

- Psych, USA, Majors. It's currently on break for a while, unfortunately, but I finally caught up on episodes. Rachel Leigh Cook is still stunningly hot as Shawn's girlfriend, although this annoys me because it means he and Juliet will not be getting together in the immediate future, and she's even more dreamy.

- The Soup, E!, Majors. I never seem to be able to catch it on Fridays, even though I am home a lot. (I know, that is a sad statement about my life, as if all of the shows on this list didn't give myself away either.) I do always manage to catch a repeat at some point though. Thanks to E! for replaying it about 500 times in the following week!

Saturday

- Saturday Night Live, NBC, released. I'm shocked that it has come to this, as I've watched practically every episode for the past 10 years. That includes some of the most notoriously bad ones, like the Paris Hilton episode and the one where Lindsay Lohan seemed all coked out. However, for some reason, this season just FEELS so much worse. Maybe it's because I thought the show would be decent coming into the year, or because the Weekend Update show on Thursdays was funny, so I naturally thought the regular season would build on that. Regardless, SNL stinks right now, and this is coming from one of its biggest boosters of all-time.

Sunday

- NFL football, Majors. Pretty explanatory, I should think.

- Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Cartoon Network, Majors. Yes, this show is allegedly still on the air, so I'm including it. Unfortunately though, the only episode currently listed on the Adult Swim schedule is some sort of Christmas episode. I'm hoping they do more, since I'm the only non-stoner who loves ATHF.

- Family Guy, FOX, Majors. While the show isn't as good as its ultimate peak, which I thought was its third season, I still find it consistently funny, even if it does rely on "manatee" jokes, in the words of South Park. I've found this season better than last's, and they haven't even shown the Star Wars episode yet.

- The Cleveland Show, FOX, Majors. I already touched on this show in a previous post, so go there if you want my take, uh, again.

- The Mighty Boosh, Cartoon Network, AAA. Another show that I caught about 10 minutes of after a recommendation from a couple friends. It looks silly and funny though, so I'll do my best to catch up on episodes. And yeah, I realize that this is just an imported British show.

- Titan Maximum, Cartoon Network, AAA. See above, except that I haven't actually seen any of it yet.

- The Venture Bros., Cartoon Network, Majors. This is probably a bit of an upset as my favorite show of Sunday nights, over the more established cartoons, but hey, it deserves it. The first two episodes of the new season have been hilarious, and my only regret is that there are only about 11 episodes being released this year. Sigh! It is still great at savagely skewering old cartoon cliches, which is why I enjoy it so much.

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The photo of Alison Brie is from some ridiculous spam site, so I'm not going to dignify it with a link. The Venture Brothers photo is taken from here. The lesbian kiss picture is from here, which has a good and brief take on the debacle that is now Heroes. The Master Shake photo is from here. And the picture of the wonderful Charlie Day comes from this wonderful blog.

The Steve Greenwell TV Guide

[Left] The album title expresses my sentiments about television. And, by the way, did you know she's married to Nick Cannon? Seriously! Strange. She and him kind of fly under the radar, whereas everyone freaks out about Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.

On the recommendation of frequent contributor Amanda Meyer, and from friends like Nicole and Kate, I finally started watching Lost. While I had always thought I'd like the show, I held off on watching it in the past because I was worried about adding yet another show to the weekly list I have to watch. Sure enough, I've burnt through 16 episodes in 24 hours, and unless something really distracts me in the next few weeks, I should be able to catch up on the past seasons by the new season's start in January 2010.

For my own benefit, and to generate some discussion on this here blog, here are the other shows I try to stay abreast of. Most of them will probably not shock you. They are ordered by their premiere dates; some have started already, while some start in a few weeks. The list:

- Dinner: Impossible, sixth season premiered in August on Food Network. I dislike Food Network shows a lot of the time because it can be such a pain to watch them, but this is one of the few that I'll go out of my way to watch. (For example, Brian Boitano's show has new episodes on Saturday and Sunday mornings, because I really want to wake up at 9 a.m. to watch a cooking show.) New episodes are normally Wednesday nights, with repeats on Sundays.

- Psych, fifth season premiered Friday, August 7 on USA. I'm really behind on the adventures of James Roday, unfortunately, but I do try to watch it whenever I'm home on a Friday night. That hasn't been a lot lately, which is sad, because it normally means I'm working somewhere. (I don't go out on Fridays; I'm no longer that cool.)

- Top Chef, sixth season premiered Wednesday, August 19 on Bravo. I missed a couple of the middle episodes, but I've caught the last two. So far, I think this has been a decent season, at least compared to the most recent ones.

- Community, first season premiered Thursday, September 17 on NBC. I'm hoping that this show, which features Joel McHale and Chevy Chase and John Oliver and Ken Jeong as recurring cast members, gets a chance to thrive on Thursday nights. I think it is a natural show to slow before or after The Office. It has only had one episode, which was a bit bumpy, but still showed plenty of promise. McHale (from E!'s The Soup) plays a sleazy kinda-lawyer who has to go back to community college to earn a degree to resume practicing law.

- Parks and Recreation, second season premiered Thursday, September 17 on NBC. Of all the shows on this list, this one has the greatest chance of falling off. While I love Amy Poheler, Parks and Recreation really does feel like a low-energy, dumber version of The Office. It might be saved because it is on the same note as two other shows on this list, so I'll be catching a lot of it by accident anyway.

- The Office, sixth season premiered Thursday, September 17 on NBC. This was a "Michael being silly" episode, but I still thought it was a decent start. I'm also the only person who seemingly likes that Pam and Jim are sweet and don't have problems. Why does every TV couple have to be miserable for people to like them?

- It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, fifth season premiered Thursday, September 17 on FX. Unlike Lost, I didn't catch up on previous seasons before the show restarted this year. As a result, I'll probably try to play catch-up with the show when I get a chance. Judging from the rest of my list, it might have to wait until next year for me to get completely on its schedule.

- Saturday Night Live, 35th season premieres Saturday, September 26 on NBC. Hey, the quality really does ebb and flow, but I still catch almost every episode of a season live. There are still five to 10 great, "must see the next day" sketches per season.

- Family Guy, eighth seasons premieres Sunday, September 27 on FOX. While it seems like a lot of my friends have moved on from this show, I still get a kick out of it every week. Yeah, as South Park points out, a lot of the humor relies primarily on asides and non-plot gags. Who cares? It is still funny, even if it doesn't have the critical value. Their spoof of The Empire Strikes Back is also scheduled for this season.

- The Cleveland Show, first season premieres Sunday, September 27 on FOX. I don't think this looks great, but I'll at least give it a chance because it is made by the Family Guy, uh, guys. I really think that Quagmire would have been a much better choice for his own show.

- South Park, 13th season resumes Wednesday, October 7 on Comedy Central. Yes, I'm surprised as anybody that this show has made it to a 13th season. I really have no idea what they'll talk about when the season resumes, but that's part of the appeal.

- The Venture Bros., fourth season premieres Sunday, October 18 on Cartoon Network. This is my favorite animated series, even more than Family Guy and Futurama, because it is so bloody clever at times. For those who have never seen it, The Ventures Bros. basically spoofs old spy shows and cartoons, especially Johnny Quest. Underneath this layer of spoof, there hums some good characters and mysteries, though, which is neat. I'm especially excited because it hasn't had any new content for more than a year, and even that "season" was only 11 episodes. Apparently, only two guys write the scripts and the animation is done old-school style, so the production time is really long.

- Lost, sixth (and final) season premieres January 2010, on ABC. See the start of this entry for more information, but I'm confident I can catch up on the other five seasons by the time it restarts.

I'm sure I've forgotten a couple shows, so feel free to ask me about them in the comments section.

Top Chef back on top tonight

Another Top Chef season starts tonight, although it is a spin-off show, Masters, as opposed to a proper season. Still, anything is better than nothing, since we have hit the dead zone (not The Dead Zone) of the television season. All of my favorite shows - Family Guy, Heroes, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, The Office, Life on Mars - are either on break or canceled completely. Only wrestling and baseball are on to entertain me, and both can be quite hit or miss.

Anyway - focusing. I like Top Chef because, although it is a reality show, the contestants are all professionals. The focusing is on the cooking, and as far as the meals go, what they make looks far better than almost all of the things made on the Food Network. This is surprising, since most weeks the challenge is something ridiculous. "Make a gourmet meal out of these 20 things from a convenience store!"

Sadly, the more recent seasons haven't been as good as the initial ones, as the focus has shifted subtly to the drama between contestants. The first season was special because Harold just STFU and cooked awesome food. But the lesson the producers seemed to take from it was that we needed more Stevens, the pompous wine guy who lecture incessantly. (Shockingly, Steven is the one reality show contestant ever to look at his behavior on TV, then to come back and admit that he was a gigantic tool and to completely reform his ways.)

I understand the need for some drama, since it is television and all. But the drama on a show like this should originate from the tension over what the judges will pick as the best dish, as opposed to relying on relationships between contestants and their personality traits.

I think this is an underrated aspect to American Idol's success - You don't see behind the scenes vignettes about how Kelly Clarkson hates Justin Guarini. (Timely reference, I know, but I don't really watch Idol, and their god awful movie deserves more attention.) You might see a piece or two about their home lives, but the bitterness from other reality shows isn't present. The focus is on singing and popularity and the judges, which is smart, because the judges (at least the mains) don't really change from year to year.

On a random note, Masters has different judges than the main show, which is unfortunate, because Tom is awesome. Anyway, one is Kelly Choi, who last appeared on TV in... Eat Out NY. What an unfortunate name.