Let’s Talk About Glee: Jesus Christ This Show Has Two Years Left!

I have no idea how they’re going to manage it, but yes, Glee has two more guaranteed years thanks to FOX. Maybe after another year of this shit, FOX and/or Ryan Murphy will be open to the idea of a mercy killing, or maybe the actors will realize they probably can’t help themselves with another 22 episodes. But like the final couple of seasons of Heroes, I just can’t imagine how the writers can dig themselves out of their current hole.

In case you’re like most of the world, and not hatewatching Glee like I am at this point, some notes for you to catch-up on:

x Brittany is now a god damn genius. For some reason, she is an idiot savant at math and will be going to MIT. (I wonder if the school consented to the show using its name; I can’t imagine that they’re happy that the scientists from their school are intently studying the crayon mathematical scribblings of Britt.) This didn’t really add anything to existing storylines, except to take away from and make light of the semi-serious issue of Brittany’s 0.0 grade average and complete lack of scholastic aptitude. They might as well have just made Lord Tubbington into the heir of a billionaire’s fortune, because that’s as believable and as much of a storyline crutch as the idea of Brittany as a math savant.

x There was a school shooting, but don’t worry, no one was hurt. Sue took the rap for Becky, who was playing with Sue’s gun, causing it to fire and making everyone panic for about half an episode. This episode pissed everyone off, since it was basically song, song, holyshitwe’reallgoingtodie, song, song.

x Tina, for lack of a more politically correct term, was a fag hag to Blaine for about six episodes. The less said about this, the better.

x Shockingly, there was more drama in the relationships with Will and Emma, and Rachel and Finn. Will got ditched by Emma at the altar, but don’t worry, they got hitched a couple episodes later – the writers just knew that you REALLY wanted to see an extra six episodes of drama, that’s all. Meanwhile, Rachel was dating a male prostitute for a bit, but then she found out and dumped him, but not before Finn beat the crap out of him.

This is a high school sophomore.

x All of the new people are basically replacements of the departing / college-aged New Directions members. The most egregious offenders would be Kitty, a blonde cheerleader that’s basically a non-pregnant stand-in for Quinn, and Puck’s half-brother, who’s so non-descript that you can only remember him as being Puck’s half-brother. Rachel’s replacement is Marley, and while it’s understandable that she doesn’t have the pipes of Broadway actress Lea Michele, she also in no way looks like a high school sophomore. Melissa Benoist is only two years younger than Lea Michele; it’s hard to believe they couldn’t find some 18-year-old who could sing well and to look like an actual high schooler.

x Singling out two of the new people for a tab, because it was so god damn stupid. There was a multi-episode arc where New Finn was getting catfished by someone in the glee club, with feints that it was New Rachel or New Quinn doing it. It turns out the culprit was actually Unique, the show’s teenage version of RuPaul. It was an awkward reveal that made New Finn pissed off, and didn’t really serve a purpose from a narrative standpoint except to… question mark. Make the audience feel awkward for all the parties involved?

x Santana is still wonderful, and delightfully evil at times. As a result, the show has no idea what to do with her. She was finally added to the apartment in New York, to add some depth and testosterone to the Rachel and Kurt living arrangement. That pair was so lame and sad by themselves that even Elliot Smith thought they were overdoing it.

The biggest overall problem with Glee at this point though is the lack of any consequences. Quinn didn’t stay crippled after her texting while driving accident, and her life hasn’t really been adversely affected by her basically flipping between nice gal and supreme bitch mode for two years. Kurt’s harasser didn’t manage to actually kill himself. No one was hurt in the gun incident with Sue and Becky. Will has put up with all of Emma’s various shit, which is nice of him, but also severely strains credibility at a certain point. Rachel was sleeping with a male prostitute and nothing really came of it. Brittany looked like she was headed for a difficult post-high school life, but don’t worry, she’s actually a genius. New Finn found out he was being catfished and got upset, but meh. New Directions lost an opening round competition, but the team that beat them got disqualified for performance enhancing drugs, in yet another ludicrous twist even by Glee standards.

Individually, how the writers tackled each of this issues is OK. Collectively though, it shows a complete lack of will to do anything new from a story perspective, or to make a decision that would have permanent consequences. For a show like Glee, which is basically a dramedy, you need to actually have consequences at some point. To make a blunt comparison – Nobody dies on Glee, but people died in 90210, and even in Joss Whedon shows from time-to-time.

Let’s close things out on a positive note though – Naya Rivera has taken the crown from Heather Elizabeth Morris when it comes to gorgeousness. Here is a picture of her. You’re welcome.

I didn’t link to either picture site for the actresses because they were basically just link spam and what not. The cast photo is a promotional one put out by FOX before the 2012-13 season, and it’s on a bunch of different websites.

Let's talk about Glee – Part 2

Let's talk about where I'd like to see them take some of the plots on Glee.

- For starters, Santana and Finn should be an item. For one, I think it would be interesting. Santana is the evilest person on the show, next to Sue, so it would be nice to see her actually get into a sort of relationship. Her sass would counteract his dumb sort of aloofness.

Secondly, it's one of the few matchings that they haven't really done on the show. They hooked up briefly in the “Like A Virgin” Madonna show, but didn't actually do anything couple-ish.

And third, it gives plenty of fodder to other characters, such as Rachel and Quinn. Also, if Finn is firmly established in a relationship, it means we can all finally move on from the boring relationship storylines they currently tease with him.

- Speaking of Santana, she needs her own episode. Her and Brittney are the best “kids” on the show now, and pretty much everyone else has been explored, with maybe the exception of Mike Chang and Mercedes. Specifically, I'd like a look at her home life, since I think it'd be interesting.

- We need to stop with the Rachel-centric storylines. A little bit of Rachel goes a long way. Yes, Lea Michele has some killer pipes. However, her character doesn't have much depth at all, since she swings from boy-based neurotic fits to talent-based neurotic fits. If you can't find something else for her to do in an episode besides obsessing over a boy or who else is getting a solo, leave her on the sidelines for an episode.

- I'm OK with the “Kurt falling in love” stories for now, but honestly, his dad is a much more interesting character. Mike O'Malley is awesome. Find some way to get him involved with Kurt and his dreamy boyfriend, like having him give awkward advice to Kurt about impressing a boy.

- I'm not sure how I feel about Puck chasing after his new girl. To be honest, the whole thing feels a bit forced and over-the-top, even by Glee standards. I know some guys who like a thicker woman, but most of them were not sleeping with essentially models beforehand (Dianna Argon) and even then, it was more bubbly personality thick girls, not horrible wenches. I'm hoping the payoff with the whole angle is good, but it wouldn't surprise me if it's yet another “will they won't they?” storyline.

- And finally, Sue. Sigh. How far you've fallen! You've gone from being the show's most compelling villain to, as I allude in my previous post, the show's Wile E. Coyote. Hopefully her new role as a consultant for another glee squad lets her flaunt her villainous nature again, properly.

To me, the bigger problem is that the show hasn't properly softened her character. They take baby steps, such as having her vote for the home team glee squad, and having her have sweet relationships with her sister and Becky, and having her confront her over-aggressive mom. However, it's as if the show has amnesia about these moments, and the very next episode, she's trying to rip apart the club from the inside or faking a suicide attempt.

This week on Glee: Kurt, Sam, Artie, Brittany and scissoring

Oh, Glee. Glee, Glee, Glee. First off, there was an utterly ridiculous scene in the first 10 minutes, as Santana and Brittany were making out and talking about scissoring. Second, Rachel looks great with bangs. Third, it was cool to see Mike Chang actually get involved in an episode besides dancing. (Even if he really can't sing at all.) And finally, Quinn (and especially her eyes) looked great as she was cleaning slushie off the new quarterback, and I loved how tense her scenes were.

Regarding the actual plot itself, I like that they addressed one of my biggest issues with the first season - that everybody but Kurt's dad realize he was way too aggressive with Finn. Kurt's dad nailed him on it, which I thought was an awesome bit of follow-up.

I also like how Sam and Finn were bantering about Rachel and Quinn. "She's a couple inches shorter and she talks a lot more, but I love her." Well said, Finn, well said. I enjoy all the subtle touches like that; they really help to round out the entire episode. Santana is awesome as well, and I like how evil and aggressive she is. And also, why did Quinn wear her cheerleading outfit on her date to Breadsticks with Sam? Why was Brittany wearing hers too? And was it just me, or was Breadsticks an obvious spoof of The Olive Garden?

One thing that is annoying, and that I'm sure they'll address eventually, is Artie portraying himself as a victim at every opportunity. Since Brittany is my favorite character, I'm annoyed that he hurt her. How DARE you, Artie! And speaking of, here are the awesome Brittany quotes from last night:

On Puck getting sent to juvenile hall: "He might be the dumbest person on the planet and that's coming from me."

Will: What's a duet? Brittany: A blanket.

About Artie: "I know, for a while I thought you were a robot."

To Artie: "I just want to get you in a stroller."

To Santana: "I'm mad at you... but you're still so hot."

Artie: I thought I was over somebody, but I still think I have feelings for them...
Brittany: The Clintons?

While about to have sex with Artie: "You're on the football team now anyway, so we would have gotten around to this at some point."

"I was going to order one really, really long piece of spaghetti like Lady and the Tramp... I've been practicing nudging a meatball across the table with my nose."

-----

Danielle: Heyyy, hope you don't read this e-mail before you see the episode!

I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. It brought back all the perfect hilarity and awesomeness while only putting in a few serious moments - Kurt dealing with being lonely, Artie and sex.

I thought Mercedes and Santana's duet was great. And when they were talking beforehand about doing the duet and Santana keeps calling her Weezy.

The other duets were great too - I like that they didn't just do a bunch of typical duets. Kurt's self-duet was very... Kurtish, haha, and I thought Tina and Mike's duet was unique. Rachel and Finn's determination to throw the competition was great too, like when they were getting all fake indignant.

This episode also made me love Rachel again. She was starting to be super annoying the first two episodes, but I just loved her in this episode. That was the Rachel I like.

And of course we can't forget Brittany and Santana making out and bringing up scissoring! Not that I'm completely surprised. I'm glad Artie told Brittany off for treating him the way she did. But the fact that she felt bad was good to see. It was cute in the end when she was moving the meatball with her nose all by herself. I guess also kind of sad, lol.

And Sam! The fact that they made his character a football player but this wicked awkward nerdy guy was great. I hang out with a lot of nerdy guys, so I've been around the cringe-worthy moments when they're trying to be cool and then say the weirdest things. Him and Quinn could be really cute together. When Puck comes back, the confrontation with Sam should be interesting.

Glee: Finding salvation through Grilled Chees-us

Last night's Glee was a bit of a rarity for the show, in that almost the entire episode was super-serious. The only funny parts of the episode, excluding Brittany quotes, involved Finn. He used his George Foreman grill to make a grilled cheese, and when he finished it, he noted that he had created... Grilled Chees-us. As in, a grilled cheese with the face of Jesus [right].

Throughout the episode, Finn prayed to Grilled Chees-us, and each time, it seemed to grant his prayer. The funniest of these was when he prayed to get to second base (boobs!) with Rachel, and it worked swimmingly [above].

However, he then felt remorse when he prayed to be the starting quarterback again - Much like the curse of the monkey's paw, his prayer was granted when the new starter got his shoulder separated. He confessed all of this to Ms. Pillsbury, and in a rarity for her, she got a funny line: "God works in a lot of mysterious ways. But I'm pretty sure he doesn't spend a lot of time talking to us through sandwiches."

Likewise, let me share the funny Brittany lines before moving on to the serious parts of the episode: "Whenever I pray I fall asleep." "I did a book report on heart attacks. You can give it to the doctor. It got marked down a grade because it was in crayon."

Both were regarding the main plot of the episode, which saw Kurt's dad have a heart attack at work and slip into a coma. This was stark, life-and-death drama, which Glee doesn't really concern itself with often. Their usual subject matter is more social life-and-death, like the melodrama of hierarchy and castes in a high school.

While it was very heady stuff for Glee, I think it was handled well. First, it helps that it was Kurt's dad (Mike O'Malley) who was affected. I say this every time he's on the show, but given that he's mostly known for GUTS and a string of unsuccessful sitcoms, it's shocking how good of an actor he is. He gives the part just the right touch of emotional understanding with its gruff gravitas. I don't think the heart attack would work on any other character on the show - He's one of the few that you really care about and respect.

Second, while there was plenty of melodrama in the episode, it's entirely appropriate considering the stakes. Kurt's dad being on his deathbed is something appropriate for the rest of the Glee club to bond about. This obviously wouldn't be the case if they were involved in their usual shenanigans.

I will caution though, I REALLY hope they don't do this sort of episode more than twice a season. I'm fine with an occasional curveball episode like this; I think it helps balance out the sheer fun of things like the Brittany episode. But in a show that's already overdramatic and full of emotion in practically every scene, episodes like this should be kept in the back pocket for special occasions.

-----
Danielle says: I wasn't sure if this would be an episode I would love because I knew it was about religion, but I actually liked it a whole lot. It was a lower-key episode, which drew me more into it. There were a couple cliche moments - Kurt and his dad fighting right before he has the heart attack and when Kurt tells his unconscious dad, "I don't believe in God. But I believe in you." I knew that second line was coming. But considering entertainment has been around since the Greek tragedies, cliches happen.

This episode actually hit the right spot for me because last month my dad got hospitalized - it ended up being his defibrillator had a faulty wire, so it wasn't him luckily - and it is scary in the beginning when you know nothing and people are trying to tell you and you're just like I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU. So I actually cried a couple times this episode. Kurt's rendition of "I Want to Hold Your Hand" was really good. Rachel's song was almost haunting and I liked it.

Like most subjects it touches upon, the show portrayed tolerance. There were struggles between the people who aren't religious and ones who are, but in the end they got to the right point - "to each his own."

Finn was too funny with his whole Grilled Chees-us thing. I always love how like into being Jewish Puck can be, and when they show him he's not always a jerk, like when he said he went to temple with his nana and prayed for Kurt's dad.

I also like when they give Sue some humanity - her whole lack of faith because of her older sister was touching. But she also kept to her usual abrasive self - "I know you're only part orangutan, but I'm still highly allergic to your ginger mane."

Brittany as usual was the perfect comedy relief. "I gave him a card that says heart attacks are just from loving too much." Santana's also focusing her bitchiness toward someone besides Rachel, finally - taking it out on Quinn. That makes sense, since Quinn took back her head cheerleader spot, but serves Santana right for getting a boob job.

I guess my only grievance with the episode would be that the only people they portrayed not following a faith were adamantly against religion and had these big reasons for not being - Kurt because of the lack of tolerance towards gays / women / science and Sue because of her sister. I know it's only an hour episode so they can't get every angle, but not everyone who doesn't believe in God is so against religion like Kurt was in the beginning, or they don't always have some tragic reason behind it. Some people just choose not to and they just didn't really show that.

They were fair in showing extremes on both sides - Finn thinking he had a direct line to God and Kurt comparing God to Santa Claus - and they showed calmer religious people - Mercedes - but they didn't show anyone who was just like no, sorry, don't believe. I mean, Kurt did say believe what you want, I don't, but then he went off about the dwarf in teacup on the other side of the moon and getting angry at people for praying.

In the end it was all fine though because both Kurt and Sue showed more tolerance toward the expression of faith and it was Mercedes in church who said, "It's okay if you don't believe, to each his own." So to end this, I'll just say that I'm excited for next week's episode after seeing the preview and to see that Sam is back. :)

Brittany squared makes Glee awesome

Please don't pull out all my teeth - When I smile, I'll look like an adult baby with boobs.

I've been waiting for a Brittany-centric episode for almost a year now, and wow, it didn't disappoint. She had lines in practically every scene she was in, and all of them were great, like the one above. She's hilarious! She needs more air time!

"... Are you a cat?" "I would just like to say that from now on, I demand every solo in Glee club." "I'm more talented that all of you, I can see that clearly now. It's Brittany... bitch." "I fed the snake."

And obviously, from the photos, beyond being funny she is also... uh... a tremendous dancer. Obviously. Unlike some of the other past "theme" episodes Glee has done, I felt that they integrated the music in better, thanks to the dentist dream sequences. Spears also took part in the episode, but only two scenes, so it helped to establish that the episode had her "blessing," if you will.

One other random thought I had while watching about Brittany / Britney: She sure is tall. However, according to this site of celebrity heights, she's "only" 5'8". Maybe it's just that other people on the show are shorter? She's frequently seen next to Santana, who according to IMDB is three inches shorter, and Lea Michele (Rachel) is 5'2", and Dianna Agron (Quinn) is at 5'6".

However, on the negative side, I'll say that I am officially effed out on Will and Emma's thing. Whatever chance that had died to me when he showed up in that fancy car to impress her, and then his ex-wife got into a fight with him. (By the way, wtf? Where the heck did she come from?) Emma and Will getting back together just seems too implausible at this point, even for Glee. Please just give him a new girlfriend, creators.

Likewise, I don't care much for even more Rachel and Finn drama (even if she was incredibly hot in this episode), or Artie trying to win back Tina, because hey, Artie WAS a huge jerk to her. And by all accounts on the show, Mike Chang is a good guy (who just happens to have perfect abs).

He's also another character that could use his own episode, as opposed to obsessing so much over the Will-Emma, Tina-Artie and Rachel-Finn pairings. I need to see more about Mike Chang, Puck, Kurt's awesome dad Mike O'Malley, Principal Figgins and a baby-less Quinn. Let's give the mainstays of the show a bit of a rest.

Glee returns with a splendid episode.

People thought I went on vacation, but actually,

I spent the summer lost in the sewers.
Ah - Loony quotes from Brittney signify the restart of Glee. I was worried that the show might jump the shark and go the way of Heroes, but the second season premiere brought the funny in all of the aspects involving the New Horizons kids.

The odd thing to me was where the episode fell flat - Will and Sue torturing the new football coach, and the adults in general. First off, it looks like the new football coach is just the old one in drag, which would be humorous to me, but I don't know if this is actually the case. Second, Sue just came off as mean-mean, as opposed to funny-mean, like she normally is with Will. She still had some great lines at least. And third, where the heck was Jayma Mays??? She was the most surprising absence, and I hope she hasn't been downgraded to just a guest star for the season.

However, every scene with the kids was great. (Although, I did question the "Santana has breast implants" thing, for the simple fact that her breasts did not look any bigger.) I loved that Quinn and Sue cut a deal for her to regain her status as the top cheerleader, and the scene with Brittney, Sue, the football coach and the doll were hilarious. (Also, Quinn once again looks stunning, which can't be underestimated in terms of keeping my attention on the television set. I am a boy, after all.)

I do kind of wonder where they go from here, of course. Are we going to have another season of Rachel desperately trying to protect her grasp as the top singer on the club? I realize she's the closest thing the show has to a "star" after Jane Lynch, but I feel her character is dangerously overexposed already. I'm still hopeful for some Britt and Santana-centric episodes, since that would really help break up the focus on the four "mains" of the cast - Rachel, Finn, Sue and Will.

Keeping it in the family with Glee

Although both main story arcs on Tuesday night's Glee dealt with irregular family situations, only two of the characters - Rachel and her mom - came across as likable considering the circumstances.

While I'm not generally a fan of Rachel because of her smugness and cockiness, I do enjoy when she is portrayed as an actual human being and not a stereotype. Tuesday was my favorite "Rachel" episode of the season, since she is so vulnerable and therefore accessible throughout the episode. Her initial Lady Gaga costume - pictured above - is one of the best sight gags of the second half of the season. And I also think the slow, gradual development of the relationship with her mom is the right decision for the show to take. There is enough camp in a typical episode of Glee to resist making them best-friends-forever right after their initial meeting.

However, the other main arc of the episode - friction between Finn, Kurt and Kurt's dad - felt completely flat to me. I think it's unrealistic to portray Kurt's dad as the only person on the show who doesn't realize that Kurt is in love with Finn. I also don't think Finn would have allowed things to proceed as far as sharing a room with Kurt without mentioning this fact to either his mom or Kurt's dad. As a result, I found everything about this plot arc, including the horrible Gaga-dressing by Finn, to be unrealistically out of character.

The little odds and ends of the episode helped to make up for this though. The other mini-issues of the episode - Quinn and Puck squabbling over the name of their child, and Tina trying to deal with her new dress code - were both interesting. There were also some quirky, winking at the camera moments on the show, mostly between Rachel and her mom.

And, I've got to give props to Iqbal Theba, who plays Principal Figgins with the perfect mixture of ignorance and authority. In Tuesday's episode, he insisted that Tina stop dressing like a goth because of his worries about Twilight and vampire problems, only to be harassed by Tina into reverting the dress code because of his irrational fear of vampires. While this served as the catalyst for the show's Gaga theme, it was unfortunately kept in the background and used mostly as a bookend.

Also, unlike last week's episode, Brittany was back to her ditzy, quotable self. (She suggests that Tina dress up as a cross country skier, a Happy Meal with no onions or a chicken. When Rachel comes in with her sadly pathetic Gaga outfit, Britt says, "You look horrible. I look awesome.") I've found that on the Internetz, the Brittney and Santana combination is known as Brittana, which is awesome.

There are two episodes of the season left, and I imagine we're going to see a bit more focus on singing and dancing, since the sectionals are coming up to end the season. At least, that's what I'm hoping for - While the drama of the first season has been high, I do think it would be more appropriate if they focused on the actual Glee club with the final two episodes as opposed to leaving us with drama-filled cliffhangers at the end of the season.

Hey, the kids are happy again!

The fallout from last week's episode of Glee is seemingly... brief. In a refreshing change of pace, the episode shifted away from the ongoing drama between Emma and Will, and between Rachel and everyone else. Instead, we got a largely Puck-centric episode, as he was using Mercedes to regain his popularity. In the process, she decides that she no longer wants to be popular, and drops out of the Cheerihos.

Next to Brittney, Puck and Santana are my favorite secondary characters, and both were featured in Tuesday's episode. Puck was obviously the star of the show, as the main storyline was about him losing status at school because of his lost mohawk. Meanwhile, Santana glowered as she was forced to watch Puck and Mercedes grow closer, and she had a duet of “The Boy Is Mine” over him, which I found to be one of the season's stronger songs.

Outside of Puck, Santana and Mercedes, there were two other plots going on. First, Kurt tried to act not-gay for the episode, in order to win the attention his father was giving Finn. Brittney featured heavily in these scenes, as she dryly noted that she had made out with every boy at the school (even Artie?) except Kurt because she thought Kurt was gay. Also, note: Brittney looked super foxy in this episode, maybe because she was allowed to wear something besides the cheerleader outfit. Dear Glee producers, please think of ways to put Brittney in normal, hot clothing more often. (p.s. The same goes for Santana.)

The second sideplot revolved around Rachel losing her singing voice. This served the effect of humanizing her a bit, although she was still prissy most of the episode. Finn was surprisingly decent and nice to her, which made me a little disappointed on the inside, to be honest. Thankfully though, Jesse was completely absent from the episode; something about that dude just rubs me the wrong way.

Grade: A-

Shadow cast over good Glee

One of the few light moments of Tuesday's Glee.

I feel like I've been grading slightly easy lately, between the A's for Community, Aqua Teen Hunger Force and LOST, but hey, the shows have been bringing it as their seasons have been wrapping up, with the notable exceptions of South Park and The Office.

Glee belongs in the first group and not the second. Tuesday night's episode was strong, featuring Emma Pillsbury finally asserting herself. Sure, it was at the manipulative prodding of Sue Sylvester, but still, it was good to see Emma take Will to task for his womanizing behavior.

Speaking of Sue, her split personality was on full display Tuesday. On one hand, she set Emma up to hurt Will, and continued with her vendetta against the Glee Club. On the other hand, she was viciously embarrassed by the Glee kids posting the video of her singing to “Physical” by Olivia Newton-John. But on the third hand, her ultimately good nature was again played up in the tender scenes with her and her sister, who has some sort of disability.

If there was a bad part to the episode, it was the overall negative, pessimistic feel of the whole thing. There was plenty of drama within the Glee Club itself, and even Brittany's characteristic lightness wasn't enough to lighten my own mood. By the end of the episode, everyone but Quinn and some of the more minor characters – Artie, his fake stuttering girlfriend – are less likable than when the episode started. Especially Rachel, Rachel's crappy new boyfriend, and Puck.

Anyway, this heavy feel can't detract from a great overall episode. Every once in a while, life sucks - Thems the breaks sometimes! If Glee was going for that feeling Tuesday, it sure did succeed.

Grade: A

Last night's Glee in pictures

Sue Sylvester: Now if you'll excuse me, I have to put in a call to the Ohio Secretary of State notifying them I will no longer be carrying on ID, you know why? People should know who I am.

Unfortunately, because I get held up at work, I didn't really get a chance to do a proper entry for tonight. Instead, please take this one, which relies on pictures and text to illustrate some of my favorite Glee quotes from this week's episode.


Brittney on Coach Sylvester's energy drink: Sometimes I add sand.


Brittney: I think my cat is reading my diary.


Mike O'Malley has been in about 500 shitty comedies, and prior to Glee, his only other good role was as the host of Nickelodeon Guts. Now he's having moving, emotional exchanges with Finn and Kurt. Who knew he had it in him?


Sue Sylvester: How do you two not have a show on Bravo?


The only thing that fell kind of flat for me was the pseudo-relationship between Will and the trashy drop-out girl. Even for a show like Glee that relies a lot on cliches and conventions, it just seemed a bit too much. Still, that didn't cut much into the final grade...

Grade: A+

TV Review: Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks? ... yeah.

It's nice to see that some things don't change.

Wow - Glee sure came back with a bang. Where to start in breaking down Tuesday's episode?

First and foremost, the seemingly neat bows made at the end of the first half of the season are already mostly undone. Emma and Will are already broken up (and he's already made out with that foxy teacher for the rival vocal group), Finn and Rachel aren't really together either, Will's ex-wife is still lurking around, and Sue Sylvester is the coach of the cheerleaders again. The only thing that seems to be going well, somehow, is Quinn and Puck still being together. And, I imagine this is only true on the surface because they couldn't get to EVERYTHING in an hour-long episode.

As is, the above was a lot of plot to unwind in an hour-long (45 minutes minus commercials) episode. While I enjoyed most of what was going on, excluding the cringe-worthy Emma and Will scenes, there was so much going on that it became hard to follow at times. For example, I think Rachel and Finn broke up about 47 times in that episode, and now Rachel is dating an entirely new guy altogether. If they had split all the plot going on in this episode into two or even three, with some more humor, I think the series would have been better served. Still, I thought this was a great reintroduction for series regulars, even if a newcomer (I'm sure there were plenty with American Idol as a lead) would have been completely lost.

Speaking of Britt, and I realize I wasn't, but I'm glad the writers or producers or whoever on the show finally rewarded Heather Elizabeth Morris with some more lines! (Also, a key note about her: She even acts airhead really well. In any given scene, she is not looking at whoever is talking.) Britt and Santana served as the comic relief for the episode, with Britt as her typical airhead self, and Santana as the brains of the group solely because she isn't as stupid as Britt. A shout-out to Naya Rivera, a.k.a. Santana, who does a good job with her character, the sort of straight woman to Britt's sheer moronic lunacy.

I used one of Britt's quotes as the title of this entry, but good lord, she almost deserves an A+ for just her contribution. In fact, here is my new regular feature when I review Glee: What Britt Said.

[In regard to Rachel] "Those sweaters make her look homeschooled."

[Finn says Rachel is cool.] "Finn, that's mean."

[The waitress asks why they want to return their dinner, even though they ate it all.] "There was a mouse in mine."

[Why didn't Britt and Santana ruin glee club?] "We were seduced by the glitz and glamor of showbiz."

"Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks? ... yeah."

"You're a really good dancer." [Finn: Uh, thanks, but my feet weren't really moving.] "That was the best part."

"Sometimes I forget my middle name."

Grade: A

More Glee in my future, but will a gimmick derail?

I'm torn about the news that Glee is getting a second season. On one hand, I'm glad that the show is definitely getting a second season, guaranteed, since FOX has such a horrible track record with nurturing shows. For example, it has already canceled Dollhouse; I didn't watch it, but I've heard good things from friends, who are no doubt displeased at that news. And in the past, FOX hasn't seen it fit to renew great, critically acclaimed shows like Arrested Development, Firefly, Futurama and Family Guy. So, if Glee is safe for another season, then I'm quite glad.

However, an Entertainment Weekly news post about the news contains a distressing bit of information to me - "Fox is launching a nationwide casting search this February to fill three new season 2 roles. Per the network’s press release, “Auditions will be open to amateur individuals as well as professionals between the ages of 16-26, and all hopefuls will be able to submit auditions online."

What the hell? Why do I want to see amateurs sing? If I wanted to witness that, I'd actually watch American Idol. Dear FOX, keep your god damned amateur singers on one show. I'd prefer that actors and actresses with actual chops, like the lovely Jayma Mays and Lea Michele, get screen time.

I suppose that the new cast members could be just bit players, but really, I can't imagine a scenario in which actual professionals wouldn't be better served for the roles. Also, they're casting three people? That seems like quite a few. Does that mean three people are leaving the show to make room for them? If so, then I suppose it could be a good thing, since it would freshen the cast up a bit from year-to-year, but I would prefer professionals taking those spots as opposed to amateurs.

Also, Britney better be staying on the show. That's all.

Gettin' Glee-ful with its season finale

Okay, so I watched the season finale of Glee the other night, and it really was quite splendid. There were several things I liked about it, beyond how attractive Ms. Emma Pillsbury (the previously blogged about Jayma Mays) looked. MASSIVE SPOILERS FOLLOW FOR THE ENTIRE SEASON!!! In no particular order:

- I like that the writers actually tied up some of the storylines, such as with Will (Mr. Schuester) dumping his wife and staying dumped, as opposed to reconciling, and with him also kissing Emma at the end of the episode. The "natural" storyline in most dramas or comedies is to drag out something like this for multiple seasons - See Pam and Jim on The Office, every season of Cheers, Firefly, etc.

Commenting on the storyline itself, I'm curious to see where they go from here. Logically, I imagine we'll see some friction between the two dating, as that aspect of Emma's personality got put on the backburner as the season progressed in lieu of her thing with the gym teacher. In case the hyper-matching outfits didn't tip you off, she is massively OCD, so it'll be interesting to see how that manifests itself in the second season. (Or the second half of the season; I forget the weirdo schedule that the show is following.)

- Likewise, I liked that the Finn, Quinn and Puck storyline is advancing, with Rachel (predictably) spilling that Quinn's baby isn't Finn's. (Also, I never noticed before that the names rhymed so easily... Odd.)

I think the immediate gratification of seeing Emma and Will hook-up will be balanced by the slow burn of the eventual Rachel and Finn get-together. I believe I read on the Internet that Rachel will have a love interest on a rival school's glee club for the next season, at least according to rumor, but I imagine she will eventually end up with Finn in a future season.

As far as Puck and Quinn, they seem likely candidates to "graduate" off the show after this current season, with them trying to get jobs and taking care of the baby. At least, that would be my preferred outcome, since I really, really don't want to see a lot of "we're taking care of a baby!" scenes. A baby is almost always a sign that a show's writers are getting lazy, which is why Mad About You got really crappy (as opposed to formerly being watchable) once the baby was introduced. As David Cross has said, babies aren't funny, unless you have a baby, or unless it talks like in those investing commercials. (Although, I think I'm the only person who likes these...)

- Speaking of my "graduate" idea, I am a bit curious about how they'll keep some of the people on the show. I imagine you can keep Finn in the picture by having him be the "assistant coach" of the glee club, or some nonsense like that, but I don't think that'll work for each character.

The show is helped by keeping most of the character years ambiguous. If I recall correctly, Rachel has been revealed to be a sophomore, and Quinn, Finn and Puck are seniors, judging from their thoughts about the future. I don't think the years of the other cast members, such as Kurt, Artie and Mercedes, have been revealed. Or the year of my favorite character...

- ... Brittany, who is so amazingly awesome in what little screen time she gets every episode. Seriously, she only has about one line per show, but it's always great. Although her ditzy funniness might be hard to maintain for an entire episode, I'm really hoping she does get an episode devoted to her at some point. It could be a good "take a break" breather episode from the main plots in the second season, which Heroes used to do before it started to suck and which Lost does regularly.

- Outside of Brittany, I think more on her Cheerios friend Santana would be good as well, since I personally find some of the main cast - Mercedes and Kurt - boring stereotypes. More on Tina, the Asian girl with the lisp, and her potential thing with Artie, the wheelchair kid, would be good, since that would be pretty unconventional.

And, I think the pacing with Sue Sylvester has been perfect so far. She's not a major enemy in every episode, which is good, and they have shown some sweet aspects of her personality - the scenes with her sister in the nursing home - that have balanced how horrible of a person she is otherwise. I think they did a good, similar job with Terri, a.k.a. Will's soon-to-be ex-wife, where she was in just enough scenes to avoid being overexposed. However, I imagine she fades to a supporting character as the series goes on, since her and Will definitely seem to be split up for good.

The picture of the cheerleaders is from Heather Elizabeth Morris' Tumblr feed. The picture of Dianna Agron is from this site. And Heather Lynch's picture comes from this site, which also has a good interview with her.

Losing man card points with Glee

The lovely women of Glee.

At the risk of losing more points off my Man Card, I must say that Glee is quickly becoming my favorite comedy slash drama on television. Spoiler alert: This week's episode was the best of the season so far.

My favorite part of Glee has been its evolution from a somewhat-shallow, somewhat-stereotypical show to something deeper as its characters have become developed. This last episode, which delved into Quinn's homelife, actually succeeded in making her a sympathetic figure. Given the status she started with in early season episodes, that's quite the feat.

The expansion of the secondary characters, such as Quinn [left, looking fetching if I do say so] and the previous week's episode featuring the cheerleading coach, is what has made Glee special in my mind. The pacing and character development is in stark contrast from, say, Heroes, which introduces and dumps or overexposes characters in rapid succession. There is a gradual roll-out with Glee, and I daresay that it is the best show in television at this currently. Each episode gives you a little snippet of the ensemble - Lost is great at character development too, but the pace is so plodding at times that I prefer Glee, looking solely at that aspect.

One odd aspect of the show is the older ages of the actresses involved. Outside of my guidance counselor crush Jayma Mays, everyone else is six to eight years older than their character. This is especially true for Rachel, who is quite visually appealing... but her character is a high school sophomore. What the heck? The actress, Lea Michele, is 23. The same thing goes with Quinn, played by the 23-year-old Dianna Agron.

Still, despite my confusion about their character ages and the effect this has on their hotness, Glee is incredible. I will have to make a Top 10 list after all the current seasons of the shows I watch conclude, but it wouldn't surprise me if the show made my Top 5.

The photo of Agron comes from her IMDB photo gallery. Lea Michele's photo is from here. The Jayma Mays photo is from here. And the picture of Heather Elizabeth Morris is from here.