Steveats: Taco Bell’s Naked Chicken Chalupa, not really for Valentine’s Day

Debuting a new, semi-regular feature! I tryout questionable food items so that you don’t have to in… Steveats. (Note: Title developed in about 10 seconds of brainstorming.)

It’s Valentine’s Day! And while that means it’s my birthday – happy 33^rd, me! – it also means that you might be looking for a romantic meal for you and your significant other. And, if you’ve suffered significant brain trauma, you might think that you’ll find that dish at Taco Bell. When Taco Bell announced the Naked Chicken Chalupa in January, it was sent to me by at least five loyal readers. I’m glad that I’m being fed this information, in turn to feed my gut.  

I finally got a chance to give it the ole Steveats try last week, and let me say… It’s not bad! The main “selling point” is the fried chicken shell. The chicken itself wasn’t bad. Fairly moist, and unlike what I first thought, there wasn’t beef in the chalupa. Just the normal lettuce, tomato, cheese and, according to Taco Bell, a creamy avocado ranch dressing.

However, much like the monstrous KFC Double Down, this chalupa is a “solution” to a non-problem. One of my favorite parts of any taco is the hard or the soft shell, whether we’re talking normal versions or special treats like them Doritos tacos. Why do we need to replace that with chicken? There isn’t any real benefit to a greasy taco “shell,” instead of just having the chicken inside of a normal shell.

The only real benefit to the Naked Chicken Chalupa right now is that it’s in one of the irresistible value meals. For $5 and tax, you get the chalupa, a regular taco, and a Doritos hard shell taco, plus a drink. And thank god, none of those horrible cinnamon twists anymore! It’s not a horrible overall deal for $5, so if you’re still curious about greasy chicken shells, knock yourself out. It’s a great Valentine’s Day experience, if you’re looking to leave someone horribly depressed and downtrodden about their situation.

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Steveats: Popeye’s Strawberry Cheesecake Pie Thing (and practically a whole chicken)

Debuting a new, semi-regular feature! I tryout questionable food items so that you don’t have to in… Steveats. (Note: Title developed in about 10 seconds of brainstorming.)

So, Popeye’s has a dessert item. I’m calling it a “dessert item” because they didn’t really have a name for it on the menu. It was a sort of pie, similar to the apple “pies” that are served at McDonald’s – a sort of fried, two or three-bite item. Except instead of apple pie, Popeye’s pie item has cheesecake and strawberry filling.

The verdict… Surprisingly good! It was sweet, but not overpowering, and I’d definitely have it again. The pie casing was pretty iffy, but still, that filling made it a perfectly above-average fast food item. Thumbs up to the Popeye’s dessert team!

However, when it comes to Popeye’s other items, holy hell are they really giving you a metric ton of chicken nowadays. Their traditional combo meals are called platters, and come with two or three pieces of chicken, a side and a drink for about $10 or $11. Orrrrr, you can pay $11.50 for a special meal deal they have, and they give you five pieces of chicken, two sides, a dessert item and a 44-ounce soft drink!

That is a ton of food – see the photo. And of course, I plowed through it. While it’s advertised as five pieces of chicken, it’s more like three, three and a half. There is almost no meat on the bone-in thighs and wings, but the breast and drumstick were tasty, if you’re into fried chicken. And who the heck doesn’t like fried chicken? Even fast food fried chicken is still delicious, says the guy who can always be talked into KFC. I generally prefer Popeye’s to KFC, because it tastes a tiny bit less greasy and the actual chicken is better, but I’m game for both at all times.

One definite edge KFC has though – mashed potatoes. Popeye’s gave me this weird, soupy mixture with gravy and bacon bits in it. Is the bacon craze over yet? It was cute when it first started, but now a bunch of companies are using bacon that have absolutely no business involving bacon in their food transactions. You do you Popeye’s, and just stick to the fried chicken, and those weird, spicy French fries on your menu too.

If you have a request for a future Steveats, leave it in the comments on here or on my Facebook. To check out some of the past Steveats, go here!