Inexplicable TV Review: Stranger Things, through 2.1 episodes

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Warning: Spoilers follow for the first two episodes, and a tiny bit of the third, of Stranger Things. Also, this has been edited from an earlier version where I misidentified the chief. DOH.

Like everyone else on the Internet now, I’ve started watching Stranger Things. Here are some random thoughts about the show, followed by some random guesses on where it might be headed, similar to what I used to do for Lost. (And man, it feels like that show aired a million years ago, doesn’t it? It was the first show I significantly live blogged and followed on the Internet, to the tune of 31 entries, but now pretty much every significant show has that sort of devoted following.)

- To explain my numbering in the title of this entry, Karen and I watched the first two episodes, and then we made a rookie Netflix mistake. We absolutely did not get to the remote quickly enough to pause it, so, the third episode started playing. We got through the big “swimming pool reveal” of the pre-title screen moment, and then paused it.

- The supporting cast MVP through two episodes is definitely Dustin (Gaten Matarazzo). Just his look alone is incredible, as I definitely want copies of his EXPLORER sweatshirt and his regular ball cap. But, beyond the impressive style, he also gets some snazzy and funny lines, my favorite being when he’s speculating about Elle and his friend. “Do you think they slept naked???”

- I always dislike when my namesakes in shows are sleazy, so I’m prepared to be disappointed with Steve. He just seems oily and sleazy, but maybe he’ll end up surprising me, and not being horrible.

- Winona gets top-billing for the show, along with Matthew Modine as a creepy scientist, but I’m assuming that’s mostly because of the rest of the cast (so far) is unknowns. The real stars are the three buddies and Elle, especially the former group. My friends Cosmo, Tom and Nikki described this show to me as the mixture of a 1980s coming of age movie with The X-Files, and while I didn’t watch much X-Files growing up, it definitely has that feel. Stand By Me is the other obvious parallel for this show, as far as the interaction between the kids goes.

- But focusing on Winona for a second, it feels bizarre that she’s now playing the mom on a show like this. She’s 44, according to Wikipedia, but still looks younger in non-Stranger Things appearances. It helps her role on the show, as she seems hard-working, but also overwhelmed.

- David Harbour is also good as the small-town chief who seemingly has Hidden Burdens and Secret Issues bogging him down. They hint at them in the first few episodes, with references to his deceased daughter and the fact that he used to be a “big city” police officer. (I’m guessing they mean Indianapolis.) So far, his character has been a bit cliché, but because the rest of the show has been so good, I’m assuming they give him some more depth as time goes on. (I also completely thought the chief was played by Modine, doh. Harbour is a character actor who was pretty solid in some Law and Order episodes, and I should have recognized him.)

- I’m far more interested in the spooky, scientific and supernatural goings on then the High School Melodrama between Steve, Nancy, Jonathan and others. The symbolism and camera cuts between Nancy losing her virginity, and Barb in the pool, were definitely the most heavy-handed and least interesting aspects of the first 2.1 episodes to me.

And finally! The reckless speculation and guessing part of the post, about where I think the show is going.

- Since Elle / Eleven seemed to escape from a Department of Energy compound, I’m assuming that the only-glimpsed Monster has the power to materialize out of energy sources (lights). This seems to be the case so far, as he snatches Will from a shed that has a light, and seemingly appears out of a light in the facility’s elevator and in Jonathan’s room as well.

The Monster seems to kill Barb in the pool, but it’s a Bizarro World pool, with snow falling and no water in it. My hypothesis would be that it can “snatch” people from the Real World, and bring them into Bizarro World. However, something seemingly distracted it when it got Will (maybe Elle?), and that’s why he’s still alive in Bizarro World.

- I’m unsure if Elle is from the Bizarro World, or simply a special project of the weird head scientist she seemingly calls Dada. She obviously has Force-like powers, and the show did a clever job of having the kids be familiar with Star Wars, and thus not immediately freaked out by that concept. I always like when a show acknowledges that other media exists, and thus that a bunch of kids in the 1980s are going to be at least open to the idea of powers, thanks to movies, TV and comic books. The kids will obviously play a role in humanizing her, and in turn, she’ll protect them and probably, ultimately will slay the Monster and rescue Will.

- I think Harbour tracks down the incidents to the Department of Energy, since he’s already found the pipe leading out of their facility. I’m assuming that the escape of the Monster is what allowed Elle to make her escape as well, and that there could be others out there as well, whether we get to them in this eight episode run or if things are revealed in future seasons. She’s #11, after all, which suggests at least 10 others. (And heck, why would they have stopped at 11? A nice, round dozen makes more sense.)

- At some point, we’ll probably get a storyline about Jonathan spying on Nancy and Steve, since he was also the last “witness” to Barb being alive as well. (I’m assuming she’s dead.) I’m not sure if he’ll come forward willingly, or if the police find him because he leaves a camera cap or something else traceable in the wood. If this was a bad procedural show, I would have guessed the latter, because it would have provided a false lead for them to burn some episode time on. However, since I’m already through a quarter of the show’s runtime, I don’t think they’re going to devote much screen time to leads that the viewer knows are obviously false.

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LOSTblogging: The final episode evar evar.

Note: Spoilers galore, obviously. I might add pictures to this later, but I obviously can't right just now. All times EST.

9 p.m. - We open up with a montage of slow music, and a pan between the characters in Bizarro LAX and on the Island itself. The show actually starts with an Oceanic delivery truck bringing Christian's coffin (Jack's dad) to the concert hall, while Kate watches on from a car. Desmond is orchestrating it all still. He and Kate have a little conversation about fate and destiny, and how about they're friends.

Flash to the Island. Jack explains that Jacob told him he had to protect Marcellus Wallace's briefcase in the middle of the island. The gang splits up - Sawyer goes to find Desmond in the well (we already know he escaped with someone's help), and Jack, Hurley and Kate will go toward the golden light. First commercial break.

9:10 p.m. - Back from commercial, we're in the Hummer in Bizarro LAX with Sayid and Hurley, as they pull up to a sleazy motel. And hey, it's Charlie, and he's all drunk and messed up. He refuses to come with Hurley willingly, so Hurley tranqs him and throws him in the back of the Hummer.

On the Island, Kate is asking Jack why he took the job as the Candidate. Their gross talk causes Hurley to have a funny line: "This would be so sweet if we weren't all about to die."

Over by the well, Sawyer is spying on FLocke, when Ben sneaks up on him and points a gun at him. Sawyer elbows Ben in the face, and escapes. FLocke lets him escape, because he mentions that he doesn't care if the Island is at the bottom of the ocean.

FLocke notes that he thought there was a dog by the well, and sure enough, Vincent is alive! He's hanging out with Rose and Bernard, and they've rescued Desmond from the well. Rose notes that they broke their rule - not getting involved - in order to rescue him. She asks him to leave once he's done eating, but it's too late, as FLocke and Ben have found Bernard in the woods. By threatening to torture them, FLocke blackmails Desmond into coming with him.

9:20 p.m. - Back from commercial. We stick on the Island - Desmond knows that FLocke is taking him to a place with a very bright light somehow. There is a bit of feedback, as Ben has a walkie-talkie in his pocket! And he's working with Miles somehow, who has found Richie Alpert, still alive. Richard is frantic even though he just woke up - He says they still have to blow up that plane.

In Bizarro LAX, Miles spies Sayid at the concert, and calls his detective buddy Sawyer, asking him to keep an eye on Sun. We then flash to the hospital bed, with Sun and Jin. The nurse is... Juliet! Aw, she actually takes care of babies in this world. Sun seeing her baby on the ultrasound kicks her memory back in, and Jin is soon with her, as he sees the baby too. Both of them burst into crying as it happens. And suddenly, both of them speak English again! (This is an oddly perplexing turn of events, since both Jin and Sun are dead on the Island!) Commercial break.

9:29 p.m. - The music amps up a bit on the Island, more of a traveling-tune, as Sawyer reunites with his people. Jack says it doesn't matter that FLocke has Desmond, since they're all headed to the rich, golden center anyway.

In Bizarro LAX, Locke insists on Jack calling him John, instead of Mr. Locke. It's a nice little scene between the two, given that they hate each other on the Island.

On the Island, Miles and Richard are staking out in a canoe toward the plane. They hit one body in the ocean with an oar, and then notice that Frank is bobbing along out there, barely alive! Woohoo! Frank asks what they're doing out there. Instead of suggesting that they blow up the plane, he suggests stealing the plane and using it themselves, since, well, he's a pilot! Clever, Frank. I'm for it since Frank and Miles are neat.

Finally, we have a face-to-face between Jack and FLocke on the Island. Kate tries to shoot FLocke a couple times, which of course doesn't work. FLocke expresses surprise that Jack is the choice, and in a clever nod to fans, he says, "You're kind of the obvious choice." Jack offers to go with FLocke to the gold light, and flat out tells FLocke that he's doing it so that he can kill him. (This has been the best seen of the episode by far, very tense yet funny.) Another commercial break.

9:38 p.m. - Jack and Juliet exchange pleasantries outside the exam room, which is a completely surreal scene. Yes, Jack Jr. is their baby. Yes, they're divorced. And as Juliet leaves with Jack Jr., Sawyer slides in.

Back to the Island. Jack doesn't really have a plan to kill FLocke, except that Desmond might be a weapon. Sawyer says, "That's a heck of a long con." Jack, FLocke and Desmond proceed to the golden light past the bamboo alone. Desmond hints that the golden light transports them to a place where they're all still alive, where Jack and he sat next to one another on the Oceanic flight. (Namely, that the golden light leads to Bizarro LAX.) All three of them descend into the golden light... And we hit another commercial.

9:45 p.m. - Note: Target has some LOST themed commercials that are pretty clever, such as someone freaking out because they can't entire the numbers into the hatch's computer. Good times, good times.

9:47 p.m. - In Bizarro LAX, Hurley and Sayid have a heart to heart about why they're there. Hurley says that deep down, he things Sayid is a good guy. They watch as someone is getting into a fight outside of a night club, and as a woman gets involved, Sayid goes to her rescue. Of course, it's... Shannon! And this awakens both of their memories. Boone is in on the plot, as he volunteered to get his ass beat.

On the Island, Ben and Miles are talking on the walky-talky. Miles is trying to get them all to come over to the plane, when Claire stumbles upon Miles, Frank and Richard. Richard talks her down from shooting all of them, but she refuses to leave the Island on the plane with them.

We flash back over to the golden waterfall. Jack and FLocke begin to lower Desmond down into the golden waterfall. FLocke tries to claim some of Locke's memories, which causes Jack to icily state, "You're not John Locke." They finish lowering Desmond into the golden pit, and peer over the edge as... we go to commercial again! Sigh!

9:58 p.m. - Back from the break, we're in line at the concert on Bizarro LAX. Juliet gets paged to go to the hospital, and she leaves Jack Jr. and Claire to their own devices. We flash to the backstage area, and Charlotte is rousing Charlie out of his slumber. This also leads to her meeting Daniel Farraday (Widmore). We flash to the dining room, and Claire is at a table with Kate, of course.

The band starts to play - Daniel backed up by Driveshat. Charlie gazes out into the audience, and locks eyes with Claire... who suddenly gets a contraction. She stumbles off a bit, while Desmond gets a bit of a wry look on his face.

Back on the Island, Desmond is at the bottom of the waterfall, and poking about some sort of golden pool with light radiating from it. He steps into it, which causes the water to freak out, and he yanks a plug from the middle of it, it seems. This causes the light to go out, which seems a bit ominous, but then lava and flames seem to rise up and out of it. Desmond screams out, "No!" And Flocke points to Jack and says, "It looks like you were wrong."

Jack then tackles FLocke outside of the cave, and... Locke bleeds! ("He's cut! The Russian is cut!") This gets a smirk from Jack. "Looks like you were wrong too..." FLocke manages to power himself out of Jack's grasp, and tries to run away, while Jack fights unconsciousness. Commercial break.

10:09 p.m. - Claire is still stumbling around backstage in Bizarro LAX, going into severe contractions. Kate comes to help her. Meanwhile, Desmond and Eloise have a cryptic conversation; he says that they'll be leaving. However, he won't be bringing Daniel with him.

And in a redux from past events, Kate is delivering Claire's baby and having her push, while Charlie fetches them some blankets. This causes Kate's memory to flash back in, and then Claire's as the baby is delivered, it seems. She cuddles with the newborn Aaron, while they all share a good cry. Charlie is back with the blankets, and as Claire grips his hand, his memory kicks back in. And aw, they kiss. And aw, Claire has her bay-bey back.

With them cuddling, Desmond comes to the backstage. He asks Kate if she understands now, and she nods, and asks, "So now what?"

We flash to the Island, where a severe earthquake is happening. A tree appears to fall on Ben, as he shoves Hurley out of the way. Jack wakes up, and instead of chasing after FLocke, he initially tries to see if Desmond is okay. Then, he chases after FLocke.

Meanwhile, Sawyer, Hurley and Kate tries to push the tree off of Ben. Miles checks in via radio - Frank is trying to weld the plane, in order to get it suitable enough to fly. The gang plans on stealing FLocke's boat to make it over there in time.

Another quick flash, and FLocke is overlooking Jacob's cave. Jack is back, and screams at him. FLocke draws his knife, and as the two are about to clash, we go to commercial. Damn!

10:22 p.m. - Thankfully, as we come back from commercial, Jack and FLocke are fighting on the cliff, which is falling into the ocean. They struggle for FLocke's knife, before FLocke finally gets it, stabbing Jack in the abs. But as FLocke is about to finish him off, cutting him in his neck (!!!), Kate is there and shoots him, killing him. FLocke's last words are that they're too late, and Jack kicks him off the edge of the cliff.

In Bizarro LAX, Jack is bleeding from the neck again, and Locke is waking up out of anesthesia already, and he whispers that it worked. And sure enough, he can wiggle his toes! And his memory starts to kick back in, as he looks at his wiggling toes. He tries to convince Jack that he doesn't have a son, which Jack doesn't believe. He tells the nurse to give Mr. Locke some medicine, and Locke says to him, "I hope someone does for you what you did for me."

10:31 p.m. - Back on the Island, the weather has clearly up completely, and Kate is consoling a bleeding Jack on the cliff. The earthquakes are still happening though, even though FLocke is dead.

Flash to Bizarro LAX, and Sawyer is talking to Sun and Jin. They both have their memory, and tease him about this, since he doesn't have his back yet.

Back on the Island, Frank has power to the ship, but the hydraulics are all messed up. Ben is also alive, and asks for the status report. Meanwhile, Jack is going to stay behind to try to reverse whatever Desmond did. He and Kate kiss, and say they love each other. They're splitting up, as Kate needs to get Claire on the plane. Hugo and Ben are staying behind with Jack.

10:41 p.m. - On the Island, Miles is trying to fix the plane. "I don't believe in a lot of things, but I do believe in duct tape." So witty! Sawyer walkies them and says they'll be sailing over, but rank says they need to leave ASAP, because of the Island's instability. Sawyer and Kate leap from the cliff, swimming toward the boat.

In Bizarro LAX, Sawyer and Jack share a moment, and then Juliet and him meet cute by the vending machine. He gets his memory back as she helps him get the candy from the machine, as does she, and they embrace in a really sweet scene. (LOST has had a lot of these "meet cutes" tonight, but this was the most tender so far, for some reason.) Commercial.

10:51 p.m. - Anddddd we're back in Bizarro LAX. Jack and Kate are meeting cute outside of the concert, which is over. (By the way, I've never been a big fan of Evageline Lilly, but she cleans up REAL nice in that black dress.) He seems to recognize her a bit, but not completely. She touches him, and some of his memories flood back, before he pulls away a bit. Kate asks Jack to come with her.

We flash to the Island. Hurley is helping Jack walk toward the gold waterfall, and Jack admits that he's going to die. He tries to convince Hurley that he's the one to protect the Island... while Ben glowers, sitting down on some rocks. Jack gets a dirty water bottle from Ben, and then has Hurley drink from it. Ben watches at this goes on, and doesn't try to totally eff things up, for some reason.

Over at the plane, Frank has gotten the engines fired up. Back at the golden well, Ben and Hurley are attempting to lower Jack down, but the earthquake ruins this plan a bit. He falls with a thud, but he's still alive. Jack goes to check on Desmond. Desmond says that his plan didn't work, because the light went out, and he thought he'd leave this place. Jack tells him he's done enough, and ties the rope to him. Desmond wants to know why it has to be Jack, and Jack tells him it's because Desmond has a wife and a son, and tells Desmond, "I'll see you in another live, brotha."

As the plane is trying to pull off from the Island, Kate desperately tries to convince Claire to come with them. She finally does, but it seems like Frank and the boys are about to leave on the plane... But they manage to jump in front before they can leave, and Frank stops the plane.

Back in the golden waterfall, which is now a lava pit, Jack manages to plug it up with the stone idol. However, it's not clear what effect, if any, it had.

Over to the plane again, Kate, Claire and Sawyer manage to get on it, and Frank tries to gun the engines for a takeoff as the ground cracks underneath them. He manages to get the nose up and the plane in the air JUST before he hits the tree line, and they're off! The surviving crew exchange glances of happiness.

We go back to the waterfall, with Jack slowly dying. The golden light is finally coming back on then, which causes him to cry in joy. Ben remarks, "He did it! The light's back on!" Ben and Hurley yell at him to hang on, and they pull up, to find... Desmond. Hurley screams, "Jack!!!" as they fade to commercial.

11:10 p.m. - Back to Bizarro LAX, Locke has taken a cab to the concert. Although the operation work, he still needs his chair apparently. He meets Ben outside, and says that most of them are inside. Ben apologizes for, you know, killing John. Locke forgives him, and asks him what he's going to do now. Ben says he's going to stay behind, because he still has to work some things out. And he tells Locke that he doesn't have to be in that chair anymore - Locke apparently agrees, and stands up and walks in the house.

We flash to the Island. Ben says Desmond will be okay. A stunned Hurley notes that, "Jack's gone, isn't he?" Hurley asks what he's supposed to do now, and Ben says he should do what he does best - Helping people. Ben says Hugo can start by sending Desmond home. Hugo says that they can't send people off the Island, to which Ben says that that was just Jacob's way. Ben agrees to be the Richard Alpert to Hugo's Jacob.

Back in Bizarro LAX, Hugo tries to talk Ben into coming inside, but Ben says he's not ready. They exchange comments - Hurley says that Ben was a great #2, and Ben says that Hurley was a great #1. Jack then drops Kate off, and she leaves to go inside for Christian's funeral, she says. (Or rather, for whatever meeting they're having there.)

We flash back to the Island, and shockingly, Jack is alive!!! He struggles away from a waterfall, and we flash quickly back to Bizarro LAX. Jack has snuck in the back of the church (I'm presuming that's what it is), and he's eyeing the coffin that contains his father. He touches the coffin, and finally, his memories come flooding back.

He opens the coffin, and again, it's empty. But suddenly, his dad is behind him! "Hey kiddo." "I don't understand... you died." "How are you here?" Jack died too, apparently. "Everyone dies sometime, kiddo. Some of them before you, some of them long after you." "Why are they all here now?" "Well there is no 'now' here..." "Where are we dad?" "This is the place that you all made together so that you could find one another. The most important part of your life was the time you spent with these people, which is why all of you are here."

Christian goes on, nothing that everyone needed to be here to remember, and to eventually let go. Christian says that they're all "moving on," and when Jack asks where they're going, he says, "Let's go find out."

As the people embrace in the church, it is interspersed with a bloody Jack stumbling around on the Island. In the church, he and Kate hold hands and sit down, as everyone else does, and this is spliced with Jack dying on his back in the Island, and Vincent coming to lay down with him. At the head of the church, Christian opens the doors, and a white light floods into it. As Jack looks into the sky on the Island, he sees the plane pass overhead, and finally closes his eye - show over.

... Or is it? After the title placard, we see shots of the Island with debris all over it. And then, finally, we fade out.

Even more answers on LOST!

There was a lot of bellyaching on the Internetz about last week's episode of LOST. Not surprisingly, I liked it - I sometimes think I'm too easy on the show because I crammed all of my viewing into a year, as opposed to stretching it out over multiple years. However, I think this week's episode will be much better received, and of course, I frickin' loved it all.

For once, LOST actually provided plenty of answers, mostly in the form of a campfire question and answer with Jacob. Why does FLocke walk around when he can just Smoke Monster'it around? Well, because it reminds him of being human to walk around. Who's the candidate? Jack volunteers. Why are they potential candidates? Because all of their lives were crappy on the mainland, an assertion they all reluctantly accept. Why was Kate's name crossed out? Well, because she got a life and became a mother, and as Jacob bluntly points out, that's just chalk on a wall.

It is this sort of bluntness that I love the most about LOST. Like South Park, it isn't afraid to basically shoot the middle finger to its fans and stick to its guns. In a show where the throbbing masses who watch it want to assert meaning to every little thing that happens, sometimes, as the saying goes, a cigar is just a cigar.

Is there still a lot for LOST to wrap up in its final episode? Absolutely! However, they are running toward the finish line now, whereas most of the season I felt like they were crawling. (Especially since pretty much everything that happened in the Temple seems dated and silly now.) My rough predictions for the final episode:

Desmond on the Island being a "last resort", I think his power works roughly like it did in the hatch - He has the power to reset things, which might work by making the Bizarro LAX real, or making the Island surface in Bizarro LAX. Regarding Bizarro LAX, I think that's the actual reality, while everything happening on the Island is a sort of shell game that decides humanity's fate. FLocke will definitely fail, because I can't imagine the show ending with the bad guy winning, not when the creators are adamant that they have no interest in continuing the show in the future. Ben will be the one to kill FLocke, but not before Ben kills another fan favorite, with my money being on Hurley. I think there is a good chance that Sawyer sacrifices himself to save the life of Jack or Kate. And Miles is definitely the one who saved Desmond from the well, because deep down, he does have a bit of a heart.

Grade: A

The picture comes from the always excellent Lostpedia entry for tonight's episode, "What They Died For."

Probing the origins of Jacob, Not-Jacob

I've poked around the Internet a bit for reviews of last night's episode of LOST, and much to my surprise, people were quite "meh" on it. While I agree with the common assessment that not much was really answered about the show, I did like that the creators at least tried to provide some framework for why there is a rivalry between Jacob and FLocke. There was just a neat, mystical feel to the episode that you couldn't really indulge in if you put it too far under the microscope.

Like the Richard episode a few weeks ago, this LOST focused solely on the relationship between Mother, Jacob and FLocke, with only a brief cutaway at the end. Given how much I liked both episodes, I kind of wish they had used this conventional method of storytelling a bit more often.

Since we knew so little about both the origins of Jacob and FLocke coming in, I'm in favor of the decision to reveal a little - but not all - of the details of their background. Having them essentially wash ashore adds to the mystery of the whole thing, as does the decision to not even try to explain where the heck Mother came from. Likewise, not naming FLocke (or Not-Jacob, as I call him in the title of this entry) adds to the mystical / comic book feel of the episode.

Most LOST fans probably won't be completely happy with this thought of mine, but I imagine the origins of the ancient Island inhabitants - Mother, Jacob and FLocke - will never be truly revealed. Because of this, I think we'll just have to be happy with an expanded knowledge of the more "human" characters like Jack, Kate (boo!), Sawyer and (hopefully!) Miles.

Grade: A-

As usual, the great pictures from LOST are from the Lostpedia entry for the episode, which can be found here.

A thinning of the herd on LOST

So... We got some answers on LOST. Or rather, FLocke eliminated some possibilities with his trickery. Anyone still think that he is somehow the good guy and Jacob isn't?

First things first - It was oddly satisfying to see Kate get shot. As in, I laughed like a madman when it happened. Unfortunately though, it seems pretty clear that she will survive, as a bullet, dynamite and sinking submarine aren't enough to kill her.

Tackling the deaths in order of occurrence, it was neat to see Jack's faith in Sayid being redeemable actually pan out. When it became clear that FLocke double-crossed them with the C4 and the submarine, Sayid was the one who tried to swallow it, Mask style. This did create another unintentionally funny moment though, when Hurley said he was going after Sayid, even though he had been blown to bits with the explosives.

Second, the scene with Sun and Jin was pretty gut-wrenching. It wasn't at the level of Desmond and Charlie, because I haven't formed as much of an attachment to them, but the scene was still really well done. However, it does make me think that somehow, Bizarro LAX will be the "real" world when all is said and done. Things are ending up a bit more "happily ever after" in that world as opposed to the Island, where people are now dying left and right. I don't see the creators of LOST being comfortable with just killing off half the cast for reals.

Speaking of Bizarro LAX, there was some interesting stuff going on in it. Locke is now responsible for his and his father's paralysis; they were linked before, but it wasn't Locke's fault before. It seems like Claire and Jack are going to do some bonding, which is sweet. And there are still some interesting tangles out there to be undone, such as what happens to Kate, Sawyer, Miles and Hurley.

However, the super-duper most tantalizing thing out there remains Desmond in the well. Sayid confirmed that he left him alive instead of killing him, and with Jack, Sawyer, Kate and Hurley managing to escape the submarine, and possibly Frank as well, Desmond would seem to be their #1 target. He wasn't on the candidate list, so it's not exactly clear what role he will play. But Desmond seems to be affected by the theory Jack stated - FLocke can't directly kill them.

Grade: A

The photo of Sun and Jin is from this awesome, awesome LOST blog.

TV Review: Mostly "meh" episode of LOST

LOST was a bit disappointing last night, as half of the episode was a solid snorefest. In a flip-flop from most of the early season episodes, the parts featuring the Island itself are now pretty stale, while the real drama going on involves Bizarro LAX / the tangent universe / the side-flashes, whatever you'd like to call them.

Going from the good to the bad, pretty much everything that happened in Bizarro LAX this week, I found pretty interesting. As I thought, Desmond smashing Locke with his car resulted in Jack being the specialist that would see him, although we didn't find this out until the end of the episode. For the rest of the episode, Desmond worked on getting Claire to see his lawyer - Ilana, it turns out - who magically was the same one handling the Shepard will reading, so there was a brief reunion until Jack got called into surgery.

Outside of this, in Bizarro LAX we also had the plot thicken a bit with Sawyer, Kate, Miles, Sayid and Sun. Sawyer and Kate's flirting is still just as annoying, but it was cool to see him catch Sayid the Killing Machine when everyone else had failed throughout various seasons of LOST. Miles continued to be solid in a small role, and Sun and Jin were cute, and thankfully, their baby is still OK. All in all, I was happy with the brisk pacing in Bizarro LAX, even if the results of Hurley knowing about his past on the Island still haven't been revealed.

In contrast, the Island portions had lots of crap going on that I found uninteresting. FLocke was doing his usual lying and tricking and misleading, such as denying that he had Desmond, then sending Sayid to kill Desmond. Of course, I don't think this actually happened, which is sweet, because Desmond is the best thing going on the show right now. Widmore got seriously pissed off that FLocke wouldn't turn him back over though, and bombed the shit out of FLocke's camp, which I kind of liked.

A couple of FLocke's group - Jack, Sawyer, Sun, Claire, Hurley and Kate - managed to make a break for it on the boat. However, Jack willingly left the boat, since he had a nagging feeling that they weren't meant to escape. My friend Nikki and I agree - I don't think LOST ends without them killing FLocke, as opposed to just running away from him. Once the rest of the group got to Widmore's camp, they were held hostage by his second-in-command, presumably because Desmond either 1) wasn't with them or 2) turned over by FLocke.

Anywho. While this wasn't the most scintillating episode of LOST, I am very interested in seeing how it all ends up, especially in Bizarro LAX.

Island portion grade: D
Bizarro LAX grade: A
Combined grade: B-

TV Review: I still hate Hugo.

Libby brings two friends to her date with Hugo.

Ah, LOST. My friends Tom and Nikki were having a minor disagreement about last night's episode, with Tom claiming it was a 6/10 episode, and Nikki being more positive, calling it a 8/10. My own rating reflects more of a fencesitting: I give the first 20 minutes a 4/10, and the final 20 minutes a 10/10, for an average of 7/10. (Sorry I couldn't really settle the dispute, pals.)

As the title of this entry implies, I still find Hugo to be a miserable, sad character. He is still strictly the fat dude comic relief, even if he's the only one outside of Miles who can reasonably talk to the dead. In Bizarro LAX, at least he has finally managed to make some moves on Libby, which will probably allow Cousin Brandon to rest in peace. In fact, let's tackle this episode, from bad to good:

Bad: Ilana going out like a bitch. It's weird, in that while I'm not her biggest fan, I still thought Ilana deserved to go out a little bit better than, well, being the only character on the show to get exploded besides the dorky science teacher. LOST earns some points for making her death a complete "out of left field" shock, but I openly laughed when it happened, because it felt more appropriate for Loony Tunes as opposed to a serious drama.

Bad: Hurley's continuing pussification. Dash Worthington would not approve of Hurley. Specifically, he pulls a FLocke move in last night's episode and tries to lie to the group to get them to follow him to FLocke's camp. Hasn't he learned anything from how he has been treated on the Island??? One of his biggest complaints during the past seasons has been about being lied to, and the very second he's in a position of power, he uses his "I can see ghosts!" power to lie to people.

Bad: Michael's odd cameo on the episode. It's nice to know that the whispering from all of the past seasons are ghosts haunted by what they did on the Island, forced to remain; it's nice to know that Michael will be spending an undetermined amount of time living in damnnation on the Island. However, like Ilana, most people people will probably consider this a disappointing use of Michael's character. While I was never a huge fan of him, he probably deserved a bit more than this, and maybe they'll address his fate more in Bizarro LAX.

Good: Hurley and Libby FINALLY hooking up, even if it is in Bizarro LAX. This also seems to kickstart his memory, as Desmond seemed to want, and has interesting implications. Hurley clearly has a much, much better thing going on in Bizarro LAX, since he is not cursed, filthy rich and now, with the presence of Libby, in love. If the worlds are somehow merged again, then what happens to her?

Really Good: Desmond knocked Locke out with his god damn car! Wow! That was a wickedly satisfying scene to watch for some reason; I'm not entirely sure why. Also, I think the whole chain of events is part of a plan by Desmond to reunite Locke with Jack. With his injuries, Locke will get taken to the hospital where Jack works, where either the operation or something post-surgical will make their memories kick back online.

Good: Desmond is still the mother effing man, and he is now equal to Jack in my mind. To me, it seems like he has a Luke Skywalker-esque endgame in mind, which is why he appeared fearless in front of FLocke. It wouldn't surprise me if he somehow knows the "secret" to thwarting him and "fixing" the two worlds.

Good: It was nice to see a larger role for some characters, like Ben and Miles, even if they were still mostly supporting characters. And hey, no awkward scenes between Kate, Jack and Sawyer - just awkward gazing. We're improving! Hurrah!

TV Review: 12 Oz. Mouse, 12 Oz. Mouse!!!

I'm always sad when shows I enjoy get canceled, even if there are so bizarre and "out there" that I barely realize what is going on. Oh, why hello, 12 Oz. Mouse. If you like LOST and Aqua Teen Hunger Force, then you might like 12 Oz. Mouse. As odd and different as those shows are, Mouse is essentially a combination.

It starts by following the drunken exploits of Mouse Fitzgerald, a crudely drawn green mouse. He is hired by a shark - old Kentucky shark from Space Ghost Coast to Coast, oddly enough - to rob a bank, and while he does this, things quickly spiral out of control as other characters are introduced.

The show is nearly impossible to explain, yet by the end of its two-season, 20-episode run on Adult Swim, it all kind of made sense. Throughout the show, more sinister background details involving mind control and memory loss and alternate realities are revealed.

Seriously, this show isn't everyone's cup of tea, but it only cost like $5 to make, so I was surprised and disappointed when Adult Swim did decide to cancel it. They did continue it with a web-isode, which was supposed to be the first of seven or eight, but nothing ever continued past the first episode. That's kind of a shame, although the web episode isn't nearly as good as the rest of the series.

Grade: B+

For a great interview with the show's creator, click here.

Belated but never imitated LOST commentary

Oh Desmond, you beautiful bastard!

Ahhh - I know everyone has been waiting with bated breathe for this oft-delayed LOST commentary. Well, relax. After many promises by me, it is finally, finally here. You can cease writing your local representatives in Congress. As an aside, I think I'm finally, fingers crossed, done with a lot of the heavy flood coverage I've been slammed with the past two weeks, so I believe I will be back to a more normal blogging schedule.

Anyway, enough with that; let's talk LOST. I thought the most recent episode, "Happily Ever After", was the second-strongest of this season, behind only "Lighthouse." However, that was a Jack-centered episode, so I imagine I might be in the minority who thought it was the best of the season.

"Happily Ever After" followed Desmond, who is definitely the best "cool" character on the show, since he has the least amount of drama. While Sawyer gets some snappy lines, he is also constantly crying about his daddy, his mommy, Juliet, Kate and how he stubbed his toe in fifth grade. And while I love Miles, his screen time has shrunk further this season, and I doubt he is going to get his own episode, unfortunately.

Therefore, Desmond is definitely my pick for the coolest character of the cast. He has the most straightforward and uncomplicated love story with Penny, which is a nice contrast from the doom and gloom misery of the rest of the cast. Even though they have apparently been separated at this point, I can't help but think that things will be fine for them at the very end. (Not so coincidentally, the final episode of LOST is simply called "The End", and I'm a fan of the simplicity.)

Focusing on the episode itself, Desmond was doing cool Desmond stuff, like surviving elctromagnetic pulses and being able to switch between Bizarro LAX and the Island at willing seemingly because of the presence of his constant, Penny. At least, that's the impression I got from the episode. After Widmore's wacky experiment that exposes Desmond to a bunch of electromagnet energy, the story rapidly switches to Bizarro LAX, and later in the episode, when Desmond meets Penny, he finally switches back.

In earlier episodes, it is suggested that Desmond is unique in his ability to switch back and forth - this is especially evident in the time travel episodes, since almost everyone but him dies from the switching. However, it does seem like the only other person completely knowledgeable about the split universes is Eloise Widmore, a.k.a. the mother of Daniel Farraday / Daniel Widmore. Like Miles, I think it would be quite interesting if she got her own episode this season, but with only six episodes and seven hours of programming left, that seems unlikely.

"Happily Ever After" did end a bit ambiguously, with Sayid killing Widmore's man accompanying Desmond through the jungle. Desmond easily agreed to Sayid's request to go with him, which makes me think he has a trick or two up his sleeve. His name wasn't seen on camera in the Cave of Candidates, and it doesn't correspond to a number, so he seemingly isn't one. Yet, this doesn't mean he isn't, and it doesn't preclude him from having special abilities either. After all, Miles can talk to dead people, and he's not on the candidate list either.

I will say that I don't think it is a coincidence that my favorite episodes of this season have been written by the show's executive producers, Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse. And thankfully, I have noted that they wrote the final episode, "The End." While some people have been down on the show, I still have hope that a good portion of things will make sense at the end, and I like what they've done so far this season.

Grade: A+

The picture of Desmond is from the episode summary of the excellent LOST Wiki site, which is accessible here.

TV Review: Catching up with Smackdown's new champ and LOST's tedium

I am woefully behind on my television watching and writing because of all the flood coverage I've had to do for my legitimate job as a reporter at The Westerly Sun. (If you do want to see some crazy flood pictures though, I really encourage you to visit the paper's web site here.

However, I didn't really miss a lot this week. All of the Thursday night shows I watch were repeats, for some unknown reason. (Maybe preparing for the Easter exodus? I don't know.) LOST was still new this week, thankfully, but outside of a stellar performance by the quivering Keamy, I didn't really much care for this week's episode. I've also found Sun and Jin to be kind of boring characters, excluding the brief period of time when Sun actually showed some backbone and took over her father's company. (Also, it's too bad that Sulu plays the father of Hiro in Heroes, because he'd also be awesome in that role on LOST.)

Friday though brought some exciting news, although it was in professional wrestling, which I realize only I follow. Jack Swagger cashed in his Money in the Bank title shot, and used it to capitalize on a fallen Chris Jericho. While Jericho is my favorite wrestler, even as a heel, I also like Swagger's, uh, swagger and bravado. It's good to see a fresh face as champion who can actually wrestle - Swagger's rise up the card has seemed more natural than Sheamus, who got an unnatural push out of nowhere. Swagger has been ECW Champion, and he has been built up consistently as a threat to guys like John Cena. It wouldn't surprise me to see him used kind of like C.M. Punk, who also used the MitB for a surprise win, and then legitimized himself more once he didn't have the belt anymore.

TV Review: LOST back in high gear!

After some merely very good episodes, LOST kicked it back up a notch last night, to steal some terminology from a hack-like television chef. While the first 20 minutes or so just seemed to add further to the mystery, the last half of the episode was just some nice, gooey explanation. The episode was like a chocolate chip cookie in that way - It just got better as it heated up.

Unlike past episodes, which normally intersperse the different stories going on, last night's episode of LOST seemingly only focused on Richard. Except for the beginning and end portions of the episode, the entire episode was a simple flashback. However, I think it's more accurate to say that the episode focused on the "deity" characters of LOST - Richard, Jacob and Fake Locke / The Man In Black, who were definitively revealed to be one and the same.

Like I originally thought, I think last night's episode revealed that Jacob and Fake Locke are good and evil, respectively. Fake Locke tried to manipulate Richard from the second he got on the Island by using his dead wife, whereas Jacob seems to operate more by free will with small signs. I've ripped on Hurley in the past, but his role as the Haley Joel Osment for Jacob and other ghosts has finally given him a purpose outside of being Fat Guy Comic Relief.

My only regret about last night's episode? Well, I couldn't think of a better way to work in this image to the right that I originally saw on the excellent Mel Got Served. Screw it though - I'm posting it anyway! Take that!

Grade: A+

TV Review: LOST + shirtless Sawyer = happy women

This week on LOST... We get to see a lot of Sawyer without a shirt in the first five minutes, which surely made all of my female friends happy. In Bizarro LAX, he is now working as a cop with Miles, and they are kind of buddy-buddy. It is a weird but welcome development for me, since I've always liked Miles.

To add to the oddness, Miles sets up Sawyer on a date with Charlotte in Bizarro LAX, who we last saw on the Island making sweet with Daniel Farraday. Their date goes really well seemingly, as Sawyer (James, in this timeline) admits that there was a fine line between becoming a cop and becoming a criminal in his past life. However, he freaks out and throws Charlotte out of his place when she stumbles upon the folder detailing his childhood, which has apparently not changed. Later, Sawyer covers up his trip to Australia, causing Miles to ask for a different partner.

Also in Bizarro LAX, Charlie's brother is haunting around the police station, asking where he is. Sawyer tries to make amends with Charlotte, but she rejects him despite this. However, this spurs him into talking to Miles about his past. In this timeline, Sawyer doesn't find Anthony Cooper in Australia. Then, in a jarring moment, a car smashes into Sawyer and Miles as they're sitting and chatting – It is, of course, Kate on the run. Sawyer catches her.

Back on the Island, Fake Locke sends Sawyer on a recognizance mission to the Hydra station. There, he finds the sole survivor of the second plane crash, a woman in glasses named Zoe. Of course, she's not actually alone, and eventually springs a trap on Sawyer when she calls his bluff. This new group is apparently financed by Widmore, since she brings Sawyer to his submarine. Sawyer proposes double-crossing Fake Locke with Widmore. They shake on this, but with Sawyer and Widmore, who the heck knows if either is being honest? For what its worth, Sawyer seems to double-cross Widmore, telling Fake Locke about his plan with Widmore. He then tells Kate that he and her should escape on the submarine as Widmore and Fake Locke fight it out.

In other Island business, Claire attacks Kate for the whole Aaron thing. Sayid just sits and watches it go down, which lends credence to the idea that he and Claire are “evil” and controlled by Fake Locke. He tells Kate that he gave Claire something to hate – The Others – in order to keep her alive. He reveals that like everyone else, he had a Mother, who he had some problems with. He talks to Claire, who laters apologizes to Kate and hugs her.

All in all, this was another strong episode of LOST. “The Lighthouse” still remains my favorite of the season, probably because of its heavy reliance on Jack, but this is among the better episodes so far.

Grade: A-

DON'T READ THIS: Blogging LOST, Week 7

As the name of this post applies, don't read this post if you don't want to know spoilers for the season premiere of LOST. In lieu of a picture, please enjoy this montage of Claire craving her baby. Huge, huge spoilers no doubt appear right after this...

9 p.m. - We begin the episode on the Island, as Ben scrambles out of the Temple, and runs into Ilana and some others. He suggests that they retreat to the beach, and the others agree.

In Bizarro LAX, Ben is teaching European history to a high school class, and of course, there are some parallels between his lesson on Elba and Napoleon and his situation now. And of course, one of his co-teachers is the nerdy science teacher who dies from the exploding TNT. This leads to another "coincidence" scene, as Locke the Substitute suggests to Ben that he become the principal, and he'd listen to him if he was the leader. ooooo.

On the Island, Ilana hands Miles the bandanna from Jacob's body, and asks about his death. Miles does his freaky mind-meld thing, and discovers that Ben Linus killed Jacob. "Uh oh," as one of the character says.

9:08 p.m. - We stick with the Island through the break, and Ben, Ilana, Miles and company have already made it to the beach. It is only a quick scene though, as Ben tries to get back in Ilana's good graces, to no avail.

In Bizarro LAX, Ben is taking care of his elderly father, who is on some sort of oxygen mask. In some more plot revelation, Ben's father DID take him to the Island, but they both apparently left at some point, which has caused his father regret - What would have become of his life? And THEN, shockingly, Alex (Ben's "daughter" from the Island) is now one of his prized pupils in History Club!

On the Island, Ilana knows that Sun or Jin are candidates, and she tells Sun. But, only six are left alive, and like Fake Locke, she doesn't know whether Sun or Jin is the candidate.

In another plot line, Hurley and Jack are apparently in this episode as well. At first, it appears like we're headed for a Hurley slapstick episode, but then Richard pops up out of nowhere. He convinces Jack to follow him back to the Temple instead of going with Hurley.

On the beach, Ben and the Pilot exchange some light dialogue, until Ilana presses a gun up to Ben's neck. She has him march out to a clearing, and then ties him spread eagle on a tree. She tells him to start digging a grave - For himself.

9:17 p.m. - In Bizarro LAX, we find out that Alex's mom (Rousseau?) works two jobs to support her. Also, her principal and Ben's boss is a pervert. Nice?

On the Island, Miles brings some food to Ben. He reveals that right up until Jacob got stabbed through the heart, he was hoping that he was wrong about Ben. Awwww.

On the other part of the Island, Hurley starts asking Richard about why he is still alive and doesn't age, which is pretty comical. It is not time travel, or a Terminator thing. Richard tells them both that everyone at the Temple is dead, and he wanders off, telling them that he's going to go die now. (I'm presuming that like Tuck Everlasting, Richard views his immortal status as a blessing and a curse now.)

9:30 p.m. - In Bizarro LAX, Ben starts scheming to get the principal fired. He asks the Bio Teacher to hack the nurse's e-mail account, and he agrees, in exchange for a better parking spot. He then jokes, "Linus you're a real killer!" Ha ha ha!

Back on the Island, Ben is still digging his own grave, and then we flash over to Richard exploring the wrecked ship that he came to the Island on. He is toying around with dynamite, and says that he can't die because Jacob touched him. He expresses disbelief with Jacob, and says that he wasted his life, and asks Jack to kill him. Jack lights the fuse for him. However, he then sits by him and says that it is time to talk. Commercial!

9:40 p.m. - Thankfully, we are back to the Island, and Jack and Richard with the dynamite. He asks Richard the Lighthouse, of which he seemingly has no answer for, and as the dynamite fuse burns down, it extinguishes. Jack is now apparently the man of faith, since he trusts his life to the idea that Jacob won't let him die. He says they'll go back to the beach now.

We flash over to the beach, and Fake Locke is trying to talk Ben into leading the Island when he leaves with the others. He invites Ben to come to the Hydra station on the other island with him, to save his own skin, and tells him where a rifle is to shoot Ilana. He hesitates for a second, and then runs.

Back to Bizarro LAX, Ben has 30 e-mails that cover a three-month period between the principal and the nurse. He tries to blackmail the principal into resigning... and he reveals that he has gotten the e-mail from Alex Rousseau (ooo!) and will torch her "life" (wording mine) with a bad recommendation to Yale. This clearly parallels the situation when Alex was held hostage by Ben's lust for power, and now, we have a redux of it.

Oddly enough, back on the Island, Ben almost immediately brings this up. He gets to the rifle first and doesn't shoot Ilana, and instead, confesses that he was angry when he killed Jacob, because Alex died because of his decision, and Jacob never let him in on what the plan was. He breaks down and says he'll go with Fake Locke because no one else will have him, at which point, Ilana says that she'll take him. As the show fades to a commercial, Ben follows her instead of going with Fake Locke.

9:54 p.m. - We start back from the final break with Ben in the principal's office, but we find out that he didn't screw up Alex's life this time. Awww.

Back on the Island and the beach, Ben makes his way back to the camp, like a puppy with its tail between its legs. He offers to help Sun out making some huts. And as the sad music plays - you know, the usual sad LOST-y music - Hurley, Jack and Richard have made it back to the beach.

To end the episode, hey, I guess the submarine works now! And Charles Widmore is in it!!! An officer asks him if he wants to stop with the plan, because there are people on the Island, and he says no. How mysterious! What is Charlie Ballgame up to now?

TV Review: LOST still good, but not great

Before I start, the usual LOST caveats apply for this post - Big time final season and Tuesday night spoilers are in the following post. Read at your own risk!

Coming a week after the incredible "Lighthouse" episode, Tuesday night's "Sundown" couldn't quite meet those lofty heights, although it was still good in the sense that it advanced the story. The crew from the other side of the Island - Sun, Ilana, the pilot - finally got to the Temple with the rest of the players, and I assume the next episode will be a Sun or Jin one, with an outside chance of Ben, since they haven't had "featured" roles yet in an episode. (For what it's worth, Wikipedia says it'll be Ben.)

The main focus of the episode was Sayid. In Bizarro LAX, we find that Sayid's former love, Nadia, is now married to his brother. Sayid doesn't think that he deserves her, because of all the horrible things in his past. Of course, Sayid's brother turns out to be sleazy as well, agreeing to some ridiculous loan, and he gets mugged. The loan shark (who turns out to be the mercenary from the boat that almost killed all of them) threatens Sayid's niece and nephew, and takes him to some weird kitchen for (presumably) torture. Sayid overpowers him and his two goons, killing all three, and then sees Jin tied up as well before the episode ends.

On the Island, Sayid and Kung Fu Master have one of the best hand-to-hand fights of the show's history; very cool stuff. This is followed by Sayid meeting with Fake Locke on behalf of the Temple. He tries to kill Fake Locke as Kung Fu suggests, by stabbing him with some ornamental sword, but it has no effect. Fake Locke then has Sayid deliver a message - He's coming, and Jacob is dead, so they have no protection. He will be coming at sundown, and he does, killing everyone. But before he does, Sayid shows that he is still capable of killing, as he drowns Kung Fu in the Temple's pool and slashes Hippie Richard's throat.

Overall, I didn't think this episode had as many standout portions as last week's. Dramatically, the best scene was the ending, with an eerie track playing as Fake Locke surveyed all of his "troops." However, it did serve a purpose of advancing the story and bringing some more characters into play, as opposed to adding exponentially to the mystery.

Grade: B

TV Review: Even more answers as LOST progresses

I'm also thinking deeply about this episode, Jack.

Before I start, the usual LOST caveats apply for this post - Big time final season and Tuesday night spoilers are in the following post. Read at your own risk!

Anyway, I thought the season's fifth episode, "Lighthouse", did a great job at continuing to provide some answers, at least from the perspective of Jacob as opposed to FLocke (Fake Locke / Old Smokey / The Man In Black). Of course, my main Jack figured heavily into the episode, as he was at the crux of the Island and Bizarro LAX stories. This was also a surprisingly strong episode for Hurley, who I don't normally like, and a surprisingly weak episode for Claire and Jin, who I'm normally more into.

Hitting on the big part of the episode first - Apparently in Bizarro LAX, Jack has a kid with a similar relationship between himself and his father. By the end of the episode, they have patched things up. While it seems like some of the people in Bizarro LAX are destined for more misery, such as Charlie the Convicted Drug Addict, Locke and Jack have both carved out seemingly-happy niches for themselves. Neither one has a perfect life - Locke is still crippled, and Jack is still divorced or separated - but they both clearly have relationships with people they love.

Using this as a springboard to talk about the Island, I think this is the biggest difference between Jacob and FLocke's methods. I ultimately think they represent good and evil, and the show is not pulling a swerve on us.

Jacob's method of "pushing" the characters relies on manipulation, and it requires them to make tough decisions and deal with emotional trauma. Are the characters being manipulated? Sure, you could say that. However, there is a sort of paternalism to his actions. They have to have trust that what they're doing is correct. While I'm not into religion, I am into trusting my instincts and gut reaction, which often suggests I have to do things that will be a pain in the ass.

I think this all contrasts vividly from FLocke's game, which relies upon more heavy-handed manipulation and outright deception. FLocke essentially turned Ben Linus, the evilest character on television for close to four years, into a blubbering, whiny idiot that you could actually feel sympathy for. He's also providing tantalizing "answers" for Sawyer and (apparently) Claire that paint Jacob as the enemy.

To me, it reeks of a classic distraction technique - FLocke is so busy pinning the woes of the Island members on Jacob that Sawyer, Ben and others don't have the presence of mind to grill him on his own plans. To again parallel this to real life, I don't like people who insist on blaming others, whether it be a boss or some other force, for something that prevents their own happiness. Jacob and the Bizarro LAX scenes seem to suggest that hard work, trust and introspection can lead to happiness, regardless of the initial genetic hand or stumbles you might have along the way. FLocke is too busy assigning blame and gaining revenge to be concerned with happiness. (And, for this reason, I think Sawyer eventually comes to his senses and screws up the entire plan for FLocke, ultimately fulfilling Jacob's goal.)

Kirsten Dunst has lost her god damn mind, and so has Jack :(

Dear Kirsten Dunst, I'm sorry that Spider-Man 4 was canceled a couple of months ago. Maybe this has caused you to ponder some past career decisions, and to try to grab some "indy credit" like Zooey Deschanel has, for her dual-acting and singing careers, kind of.

However, that thing above... is just a bad idea. What the eff were you thinking, child? Ack! Thanks to Gawker for the original posting that I saw on it, and for my friends Tom and Kristi for bringing it to my attention.

I guess I have to call it "artistic" because it is bad, like an Asian fetish dude's wet dream. The only thing missing from that video is tentacle porn, and I suppose there is only none of that because the video is shooting for an NC-17 or R-rating as opposed to being hentai. But between all the Japanese school girls, busty anime chicks, sparkles and bad singing, I mentally threw up about 40 times.

Speaking of bad ideas, the real-life Jack Shepard has been stepping out on his lady. Matthew Fox! Knock that behavior off, please. It is being reported by sleazy outfits, like The National Enquirer and InTouch, but I guess we'll know if there is an actual divorce or not whether it was true.

Secondly, how come all of these cheaters step-down a bit with their targets? At least Tiger Woods was doing some porn stars and models in addition to gross waitresses at Waffle Houses; presumably he was picking up some new tricks. Matthew Fox allegedly slept with some gross 25-year-old stripper with a kid. barf. Hey Matt Fox, stick with your already good-looking wife with whom you have kids with! Don't go all Sawyer on us.

The picture of Fox and his wife is from this site. I'll have my thoughts on last night's episode a little bit later, when I'm done watching the episode.

DON'T READ THIS: Blogging LOST, Week 3

In keeping with last week, here is another running diary of LOST. Of course, huge spoilers on this week's episode follows, and as always, Amanda and Tom will be providing some commentary as well.

9 p.m. - A short recap this week, and we're apparently going to be following Locke (and hopefully Fake Locke) for a bit. In Bizarro LAX, he's getting out of his van with the fancy ramp, which stalls and makes him fall down on to the lawn, with the sprinklers smacking him in the face. How farcical and morbidly funny! And hey, Peg Bundy is back as his girlfriend! That's nice that he has love again. She finds the card from Dr. Jack Shepard in his clothes, and says maybe it's destiny that they ran into each other. Nifty, huh?

The scene shifts to the Smoke Monster. It hovers outside of a building in the Others' village for a bit, and then finally forms around a machete, which Fake Locke takes. He had Richard tied up in a trap, but finally chops him down. First commercial break.

9:07 p.m. - Short break, as we're back to Locke in his office. And his evil boss Randy is harassing him about his walkabout, and then shitcans him for lying about attending the conference. Aw, poor Locke.

We move to Fake Locke on the Island. He mentions that he knew Locke's appearance would gain him access to Jacob, because Locke is a "candidate." Fake Locke tries to appeal to Richard by saying that he'll tell him everything as opposed to keeping him in the dark, but Richard refuses to join him. Fake Locke is then seemingly going to kill him, but gets distracted by something, and lets him go.

Flash to Ben on the Island. He's talking to Alana or Illana or whatever her name is - Amanda and I don't know. Amanda comes up with the name Wannabe Jackass, which seems appropriate. WJ says that Fake Locke is now "recruiting."

Fake Locke is now going through the cottage with the music from earlier; a vinyl is playing on a record. In another room, James (Sawyer) is drinking himself into a stupor - It seems like Fake Locke has his first recruitment target.

Amanda: Oh God damn it he is sexy. Even as a brooding alcoholic with a broken heart. And absolutely NO good can come from this. Well I mean, really. Locke is clearly this insane Smoke Monster with a plan. And Sawyer is VERY vulnerable and angry right now. He's got a hairline temper and is liable to fly off the handle at any second. If Locke starts devising crazy plans, Sawyer could go along with it. And shit will go down.

9:18 p.m. - Back from the second commercial break, we're sticking with Sawyer and Fake Locke. (Sawyer is in his underwear and a wife-beater, hence Amanda's great like.) Amanda says, "How'd Sawyer get so dirty? ;) I think that LOST and Intervention could have an amazing crossover episode."

Wow, Sawyer catches on right away that Fake Locke is fake. Fake Locke says he can answer the most important question in the world - Why Sawyer is on the Island. And even drunk, Sawyer gets in some good zingers, but agrees to go .

Amanda: NO. 1) Don't go with him. 2) NO PANTS!

We flash to Bizarro LAX. Hugo Reyes, the OWNER of Locke's company, has a confrontation with him outside of his (former) job. He offers him a new job with his temp agency.

Now we're on the beach. Wannabe Jackass covers up the corpse of Locke, and says they should go to the Temple, luring Sun with her by saying that Jin might be there. They postpone their plans though to bury Locke.

Flash over to Fake Locke and Sawyer, and Fake Locke sees a kid in the jungle. He chases after him, eventually falling at his feet. In an eerie similarity to Real Locke, the kid tells him that he knows the rules and can't kill, which causes Fake Locke to scream, "Don't tell me what I can't do!" Third commercial break.

Tom: Tween Jacob. Can't wait for LOST babies - It'll be better than Muppet Babies.

9:28 p.m. - Back on the Island, Richard catches up to Sawyer and warns him that Fake Locke will lie to him. Richard runs, and Fake Locke and Sawyer have an awkward exchange.

In Bizarro LAX, Locke and Rose has a short exchange. She runs the temp agency, and apparently, she still has terminal cancer. Aw. But she convinces Locke to take a more realistic job, as opposed to construction foreman.

Back on the Island, Sawyer and Fake Locke are walking through the woods. Sawyer talks about Of Mice and Men, which Fake Locke has no recollection of, and Sawyer pulls a gun on him, asking him what will happen if he pumps a slug into his brain. Fake Locke says he used to be a man, like Sawyer, and lures him into further intrigue and not shoot him.

9:38 p.m. - Apparently, according to a conversation between Wannabe Jackass and Ben, Fake Locke is stuck in his current form for some reason. They stick Locke in the ground, and Ben does a short eulogy. "John Locke was a... believer. He was a man of faith, he was a much better man than I will ever be and I'm very sorry I murdered him." The Pilot gets in a pretty nifty line right after, "Weirdest damn funeral I've ever been to." Nice.

We flip to Bizarro LAX, and Locke is calling for Jack. But he gets the secretary and doesn't talk! Eeck. Locke confesses to Helen that he got fired, and of course, right as he does, the doorbell rings. The airplane company found his baggage. Locke tells Helen that he lied about the conference, and has her open the case, which was full of his knives. He says he wasn't allowed on the walkabout. "I'm sick of imagining what my life would be out of this chair." Helen and Locke kiss passionately, after she rips up Jack's card. nooooooo!

Flash over to the Island with Fake Locke and Sawyer. They apparently have to climb down a ladder on a cliff, to God knows where. One of the steps snaps as Sawyer tries to climb down it, and then, the ladder detaches from the face of the cliff. Fake Locke grabs Sawyer as he dangles, and they manage to make it to the outcrop they were shooting for. It is a small cavern with a scale, with a black rock and a white rock balancing each other. Fake Locke throws the white rock out into the water, and then lights a torch to show him why he's there - There is some sort of mural on the wall, with his name and various others. Shocking! And we hit another commercial break.

Tom: I hope they're going to explain something in the last 10 minutes.

9:53 p.m. - In Bizarro LAX, Locke is somehow watching kids run laps, and then teaching them about... the human reproductive system. I guess he's a substitute teacher. And Ben Linus teaches European history! What a weird turn of events.

We flip over to the Island, where Fake Locke is showing Sawyer around Jacob's cave. Each main cast member corresponds to a number, and Fake Locke says that Jacob was pushing all of them toward the Island. Fake Locke says they are all "candidates" to become the protector of the Island, and then says that there is no need for a Protector. Fake Locke also crosses out Locke's name on the wall. Fake Locke asks Sawyer if he's ready to go home, and Sawyer says, "Hell yes."

Amanda: I'm not buying it, Locke. If it's that easy, why are you still there? Sorry. There's more to it than this.

DON'T READ THIS: Blogging LOST, Week 2

In keeping with last week, here is another running diary, albeit belated, on this week's edition of LOST...

First segment: Hippie Richard tells Kung Fu that “he's alive,” referring to Sayid. This seems to get a big smile out of the Drunken Master. Then we switch to the gang, and Sawyer, that rascal, is already planning on running.

Next, we're back to the Bizzaro LAX, where Kate is holding the taxi guy hostage with a gun, and Claire is in the backseat. The taxi driver looks suspiciously like the puppet master from Heroes, but I'm not positive about that. He runs from the car, and then Kate steals Claire's purse before ordering her out of the car.

We switch again to the Temple, with the gang explaining to Sayid what is going on. I love Miles, who arguably has as many good, snappy lines as Sawyer at this point. “As you can see, Hugo here has assumed a leadership position, which is... really great.” There is a confrontation between Jack and the Kung Fu Master, who might not realize that Jack can probably speak whatever language he's using, because of his experience with the wacky Chinese lady in past seasons.

Anywho, Sawyer has magically procured a gun, because he's Sawyer. He decides to leave, and Kate offers to track him and bring him back, convincing the Tribal Others (my name for them) that she can do so.

Now we're back to Kate in LA, presumably, where she at first pulls a gun some fat, sleazy but kind of charming mechanic. (Think Bud from Kill Bill Volume 2.) She pays him $200 to break her handcuffs, and then goes into a restroom to change, at which point we get a stomach-punch scene with Kate going through Claire's bag. She has a picture of her pregnant, and a big stuffed Shamu doll. A really, really powerful scene.

We switch scenes again to Jack and Kate planning for the trip into the jungle to find Sawyer. Jack grabs Kate like he wants to kiss her, but doesn't, and she doesn't lean in for the lip-lock either.

On to the Kung Fu Master and Sayid, as the Master blows some sort of dust on to Sayid, before hooking up electrodes to him. He begins to shock him, getting a scream out of Sayid, and then he prepares a red-hot poker, scorching his skin with it. Hippie Richard tells him that he passed the test, but apparently, he did not, as Kung Fu says that Sayid didn't pass the test.

Back to the Bizarro LA, Kate somehow finds out where Claire is and gives her back her stuff. Then amazingly, she offers Claire a ride to the adopted parents house, which Claire seems to accept! (This whole turn of events strikes me as completely and utterly impossible – Kate just held her up at gunpoint, and then dumped her on a random street, and then she somehow finds Claire again, AND convinces her to not be very, very uncomfortable with this whole ride thing.)

Now we're on the Island again, and some member of the Tribal Others is leading him. And shockingly, it is Mac from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia! Wow! What an inexplicable bit of casting! Anyway, Rousseau the French Woman has apparently been dead for a couple years now, according to Mac, but then Kate manages to overpower Mac and the other guard (again) to escape.

Jack goes inside to talk with Kung Fu and Hippie Richard, and they say that Sayid is “infected” with something. They're trying to convince Jack to get Sayid to take a pill. If Sayid doesn't take the pill, Kung Fu said that he would be dead. Sayid and Jack then have a heart to heart.

We cut back to Kate and Jin in the jungle, with them breaking up a bit, and Kate trying to chase after Sawyer. Then another quick cut to Claire and Kate as they ride to Claire's baby adopted momma. It turns out that her husband dumped her, and she didn't tell Claire, and the shocking news causes Claire to start going into labor.

Another cut to the Others' village, which Kate is exploring. Sawyer is ripping up the floorboards in one of the houses, to reveal a shoebox with... Well, it's not really revealed, but I assume it is something of Juliet's that makes Kate change her mind that Sawyer could ever be her's. She tries to sneak out, but Sawyer discovers her, and they exchange awkward words.

Back to Bizarro LAX, Kate manages to take Claire to a hospital, and who is the doctor? Ethan, of course. Claire is given the option of having her baby at that time, or postponing it, and she chooses to postpone it. LOST teases that she'll have to deliver the baby anyway, and also, Kate seems to show some faint glimmers of recognition when Claire reveals that her baby is named Aaron.

On the Island, Kate and Sawyer are chatting, about how she wants to find Claire to reunite him with Aaron. Sawyer has a teary scene with Kate, and the item is revealed to be an engagement ring for Juliet, which he throws into the water.

Kung Fu is spinning a baseball, and he and Jack have another chat. You know, mostly about trust. Jack tries to swallow the pill instead, and Kung Fu has to attack him to force him to not swallow it. You see, it is full of poison.

In Bizarro LA, Claire covers for Kate as two cops come looking for Kate. (Lilly looks pretty in this scene, for some reason, and I'm not usually a fan of her.) Kate encourages Claire to keep Aaron.

Back to Kate and Sawyer at the village – they exchange looks, but that is all. Back again to Jack and Kung Fu, as they talk about why they wanted to kill Sayid. Kung Fu thinks that Sayid has been “claimed” by a darkness that is growing in him. Jack wants to know how he can be sure – And Kung Fu says it happened to Jack's sister! (For those of you not keeping close attention, I believe that would refer to Claire.)

Mac and the Black Dude stumble upon Jin, and threaten to shoot him for the ambush earlier. Jin tries to run away, and gets his leg caught in a bear trap! As Mac hovers over him, about to pull the trigger, he and the Black Dude are shot by... Claire! Dressed in plaid, and looking all woodsy and whatnot! So she IS alive!

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And now, Amanda's comments on the episode. You can find her full blog on all matters pop culture and Boston, Amanda.Jean, here.

Alright, Greenwell. Here's my take on this week's episode:

I'm going to start off by saying that I don't like Kate. I wasn't thrilled that this was a "Kate" episode, but I'm starting to like dopelganger Kate.

I like how doppelganger Claire is still forced to keep Aaron. Can we please get back to the psychic? WHY does she have to be the one to raise Aaron? Are we about to find out? Probably not, they'll keep us waiting for a Claire episode. I know this because she showed up at the very end of this one.

Sayid. What's up? Who is he? John Locke is now Old Smokey, would they really have two characters technically dead with "possessed" bodies? That's not like LOST to rehash storylines like that, so I'm guessing there's more to it. As far as this "infection" maybe we'll finally figure out what happens to people on the island. But maybe this is a different infection, because Sayid is not, as far as I know, pregnant.

Jack is still an arrogant ass.

Sawyer is still charming as hell. I liked how he went back to his old house with Juliette. He really is a softy at heart! This guy makes me believe in romance (that and I'm on a bit of a sappy-love-story high thanks to the upcoming Valentine's Day weekend). I am glad he and Kate made peace. Even if she's a whore. And yeah, I went there.

Is it me or is Hurley taking more of a backseat than usual? Then again, with such a large cast, it may be too early to really tell.

Where is Ben? Where is Desmond? Where did Locke take Richard Alpert? Where is Aaron? Where is Penny? TOO MANY QUESTIONS and still no answers.

So that's about it from me. Let's do this again next week.