Inexplicable Gilmore Girls Review: Is Rory secretly awful?

Warning: Spoilers follow for episodes 1 through 20 for season five of Gilmore Girls, although I’m taking a more circuitous route today than in previous entries.

I promised to write a bit more positively today, so let me do that!

Luke and Lorelai are excellent when they’re together, which varies strongly from episode to episode in season five. I didn’t find Luke’s super hurt feelings over Christopher all that believable; he knows that Emily is horrible when it comes to supporting Lorelai. So, why was he threatened by Christopher? Lorelai told him about the meetings – admittedly, very awkwardly – and their behavior toward one another was not warm at the wedding. It’s one thing if Lorelai was making puppy dog eyes, a la Rory at Logan, but she was pretty, pretty, pretty cold the entire time.

Again, I felt like I could see the seams here, the realization of the show’s staff that, “Hey, we need to stretch this thing out for 20 episodes this season! We better throw a break-up in here.” I felt similarly about Richard and Emily, in that I never really believed the reasons for their break-up to be legitimate, and thus, never bought into it as a storyline.

In other relationships, Lane and her doofus guitar boy are more entertaining than I anticipated. This goes doubly when Lane freaks out about needing to wait for marriage, and when he actually sides with her mother when it comes to Lane’s glasses. Also, Replacement Lane (as I call her) is highly entertaining, and she needs more screen time.

Likewise – Paris! She’s still so baller in all of her scenes, even when she’s taking care of the highly blah Doyle McMaster. Well, okay, it’s her Portuguese nana who’s taking care of him. Still though, I think she’s the one who gets credit for that move. Every episode she’s in, she has at least one funny line. She needs more airtime!

That’s typically my biggest complaint with Gilmore Girls – an intense focus on things I don’t care about (the latest horrible Rory boyfriend) or the outlandish Stars Hollow folks, at the expense of expanding our knowledge on some of the other, interesting side characters. The show is at its best when it stays focused on realistic, simple characters and relationships.

Final controversial thing – Is Rory a good person? Season five kind of casts a lot of doubt on this.

On one hand, well, she’s a socially-awkward and kind of maturing 20-something. We would expect her to be awful in some ways, and to have trouble dealing with attention from guys and sorting out which ones are enticing but also not horrible human beings.

But on the other hand, good lord, she’s racking up a body count in season five. While Dean is horrible and ultimately responsible for breaking up his own marriage, Rory didn’t exactly resist him at any point. Then, when she realizes the drudgery and class differences between herself and Dean, it doesn’t take her long to move on to Logan. This is fine with her even though Logan was dismissively and shitty to her friend Marty, he doesn’t apply himself, and he’s actively a prick to her while they’re casually dating. You know – pretty much all of the reasons she gave for dumping Jess.

The final straw for me was her behavior during the dinner with Emily and Richard that Logan attends. She just sits there and doesn’t say anything after Emily freaks out about the missing paperweight. It’s Lorelai(!) of all people that has to goad him into turning it over, so that the maid doesn’t get fired and/or arrested.

I’m hoping there is a moment with Rory where she realizes, “Hey, I’ve been kind of awful this year… Maybe I should make some amends.” However, I’m not anticipating that moment of clarity. She’s not Jay-Z.

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Inexplicable Gilmore Girls Review: Stars Hollow and Yale, the worst places on Earth

Warning: Spoilers follow for episodes 1 through 15 for season five of Gilmore Girls, although I’m taking a more circuitous route today than in previous entries. Also, this picture of Paris doesn’t really have anything to do with this entry, but it’s probably her greatest line ever.

Today, I’m going to focus on the worst aspects of Gilmore Girls, which would be the despotic and farcical happenings in the main settings of the show’s fifth season – Stars Hollow and Yale. Anytime that the government or social structure or institutions of either are at the forefront, I’m cringing or rolling my eyes at each unbelievably stupid thing happening.

First, Stars Hollow. I’ve mentioned my dislike of Taylor in several past entries, but the ante is upped in the first part of season five and the last part of season four. He arbitrarily denies permits that the Firefly Inn needs in order to benefit his own business, he screws around with Jackson’s greenhouse because it’s six inches over the property line, he runs meetings like an idiot, and basically just acts like a dictator.

We’re supposed to believe that Stars Hollow is this quaint, folksy place to live, yet Taylor is the show’s embodiment of government and pretty much the fucking worst. It’s just a pet peeve of mine as someone who was forced to sit through dozens of planning and zoning board meetings. That process is boring, but typically fair. TV shows often sidestep and simplify the boring, even if it creates a distorted, stupid version of the truth. [Insert politically time sensitive comment here.]

The breaking point for me was when Lorelai and Luke’s relationship became fodder at a Town Council meeting, or whatever they call them. It was just the most insane, unbelievable shit ever. And yeah, it’s meant to be funny, but I just kept cringing. Gilmore Girls is at its absolute worst during these moments because there is so much more fertile ground they could be tilling! More with Lane and her replacement, more with Paris trying to date, and hey, what’s Marty up to?

So, let me segue to Yale, and all of the annoying fucks there. Logan is seemingly the romantic option for Rory this season, and surprise! He’s awful. He’s just the worst. He has marginally gotten better as the season goes along, as he lets Rory tag along for a story on the Life and Death Brigade, and sort of improves in behavior.

However, his initial debut in the season works as a Moral Event Horizon for me. In his first scene, he belittles Marty and treats him like crap, and in his second scene, he has an aggressive conversation with Rory trying to justify his behavior. He is portrayed as a playboy, but mostly acts like a goon. Like pretty much all of the loser guys Rory dates, he has a weird sort of aggression about him, but hey, I guess the show has established that Rory is only into emotionally unavailable dudes.

Not that this is unusual – people are horrible to one another in their 20s – but I’ve never found any of her boyfriends appealing. Karen forced me to pick one last night, and I begrudgingly went with Jess as of the wedding episode of season five, mostly by default. I don’t know if his self-help stuff stuck at all, but it might have, so that would make him better than Dean (anger and motivation issues) and Logan (just the worst all-around).

The other “ick” Yale aspect is the newspaper, and its editor. Gilmore Girls has two types of characters – nuanced, interesting ones that experience ups and downs (the leads, Lane, Emily, Richard) and completely ridiculous and unbelievable caricatures (Miss Patty, Babette, Taylor). Doyle McMaster is firmly in the second camp. It’s like he studied All The President’s Men, but also, 1950s Superman and Spiderman comics, and that’s how he thinks newspapers are run. Fun times!

Anyway, this entry is mostly focused on the bad. Later this week, I’ll mix in what I like about season five, although it’s much more up-and-down to me than the past ones.

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Inexplicable Gilmore Girls Review: Divorce, Make-outs and Virginity to Close S4

Warning: Spoilers follow for episodes 14 through 22 for season four of Gilmore Girls, along with the first episode of season five.

For seasons now, I’ve been saying that Dean is the worst, and his behavior in the episode four finale certainly confirms my suspicions. In said finale, he beds down with Rory, taking her virginity in her childhood bed. By doing so, he cheats on Lindsay, and completes a cringe-worthy downward spiral for Rory.

To be clear, she has close to equal responsibility in the matter. Dean didn’t force himself upon her or anything. However, she was vulnerable because of how things were going at Yale, and Dean is married. And also, as the first episode of season five makes clear, Dean isn’t actually committed to making things work with Lindsay. I jokingly called her Barbie in a previous entry, but she is making a good faith effort to improve herself, as evidenced by her roast beef progress.

So, Rory loses her virginity to Dean, and becomes a homewrecker in the process. Fun times! At least she firmly rejected Jess. That was one of her few bright moments as the season ended, since it immediately followed a low moment – having Dean rescue her at a bar, and then basically telling him to screw when Jess showed up. You couldn’t call anyone except Dean? Lorelai, Paris, Lane, I think all of them have cars.

In contrast, it was cute to see Luke and then Jess to drastically improve their lives, seemingly, with self-help books and tapes. Luke seems especially improved, and while Jess speaking with Rory didn’t work out, he seemed to turn a page when it came to his relationship with Luke and his mom. Luke snapping out of his meek funk and asking Lorelai out, and then making some face time with her face, that’s all good stuff.

I’m not so pleased with Richard and Emily suddenly going Heel Mode with each other. The issues that have made them blow up seem somewhat minor to me. Yes, PENNILYN LOTT having lunch with Richard is a big offense, but things like the mustache and Jason deciding social things for the new business?

Eh. Gilmore Girls has enough plot balls in the air without also having the Emily and Richard on the verge of divorce. Not even mentioned by me in the post, but taking up significant air time in the last half of season four – Paris and Asher Fleming breaking up then not after his hospital visit, Lane and Mrs. Kim repairing their relationship subtly, the success of Lane’s band and her quirky bandmates (especially Sebastian Bach!), the SPRING BREAK! trip with Madeline and Louise.

Of those, Lane’s stuff is the best. She takes a big step forward in terms of my interest in season four – She goes from solely being Rory’s friend and sounding board, to developing her own personality and storylines. The break from Mrs. Kim really helps, of course, as her storyline has gotten more realistic as we’ve gone along.

Anyway, a procedural note as we go along. I’m obviously a couple seasons behind, even though the revival is starting today. I’m going to continue with seasons five, six and seven, and not skip ahead. Karen has told me that she’s going to skip ahead, but she’s also going to take some notes on them for when I watch them. Good times!

Want to support Steve’s blogging? Then purchase something via the Amazon clickthru link for Your Parents Basement, Steve’s other project! To read all of Steve’s past Inexplicable Movie Reviews, click here! For Inexplicable TV Reviews, click here! For Inexplicable Video Game Reviews, click here! And for Inexplicable Book Reviews, go here!