The Burger King breakfast is kingly

Hi. Let me tell you folks about something that is so wonderful, I am always amazed that more people have not experienced. Are you ready? Are you literally holding your urine in?

Good, because here it is – The Burger King breakfast menu is simply outstanding. Listen, some people swear by McDonald's, because the two-for-$3 Egg McMuffin is a good deal. I too was swayed by this at one point, and this isn't even taking into account the other things on their menu, like the 50,000 calorie McGriddles and Newman's iced coffee. These are all potentially-wonderful things.

However, all of them are laid to waste by the Burger King breakfast. Before we really delve in, I'm sure I must answer this question – Yes, Burger King has breakfast. I know, I was kind of surprised too. But there is a Burger King on my way in to work on Wednesday mornings, so my waistline can attest to the validity of its existence, and the veracity of its deliciousness.

Burger King breakfast has pretty much everything from McDonald's you would want at Burger King, such as a rip-off of the Egg McMuffin, crossiant and bagel sandwiches with your choice of sausage, ham, “steak” or bacon, and things like orange juice and coffee. But BK offers four distinct things that McDonald's does not.

1) French toast sticks. Ohmygod ohmygod!!! The only thing better is actual French toast, and of course, you're not going to get that from a drive-thru or a fast food place. Even better is that the sticks come with maple syrup, or if you're smart like I am, you also order...

2) Cinnamon buns! Ahhhh! As Dave Dameshek would say, it is enough to make me scream like a lady getting free diamond earrings while she's in Oprah's audience. While the buns are kind of small, they are only $1, and most importantly, they come with this big thing of delicious white icing. Now, this is a move that might be too much for you beginners out there, but I like to conserve the icing a bit, so that I can use some on my French toast sticks. I know, I know – You're daunted by such expertise of sugary condiments. But trust me, it is worth mastering this elusive skill. Moving on.

3) Hash brown patty chips. Instead of the rectangular thing that McDonald's serves you, which lasts about two bites, Burger King fills up one of their small, medium or large fry containers with hash brown patty chips. I have no idea if this is more potato than McDonald's or not, but it SEEMS like more, which is an important factor for breakfast. I feel like I could down about a dozen McDonald's hash browns, but a BK chip portion fills me up pretty good.

4) Free crown! This is still something I enjoy every time I visit, although I don't normally indulge.

The Jamaican Burger King breakfast menu is from this Flickr account. The Burger King crown is from this message board posting of crowns.

Making the pilgrimage to Sonic

[Left] The spoils of my trip.

Labor Day was especially, uh, special to me this year, because I finally completed one of my life's goals. No, I didn't make it with a lady, and how DARE you for thinking that. I got to visit my first Sonic, since one opened up in Peabody, Massachusetts about two weeks ago.

Firstly, the reports of the traffic jams around the restaurant are no exaggeration. My friend Amanda went with me - you might know her from a few past entries - and we sat in traffic from 4:15 p.m. until about 5:45 p.m., when we finally made it to the drivethru order box. The traffic literally stretched about a third of a mile back down Route 1 North, and that isn't counting the line for the pull-up service, which stretched down an adjacent street and behind a nearby hotel.

Anyway, before I get the comment that the food isn't that great - Yes, I knew that going in. But after getting besieged by clever, quirky advertising for Sonic for years, I really felt the need to go now that one was (relatively) close to me. Some of the food also seemed interesting enough to intrigue me, as did the wide drink selection.

So on the advice of my friend and blog commenter Kristi Coleman, I did try the cherry limeade, even though I don't normally do fancy drinks. This was the highlight of the visit, even though it was just a sharp cherry cola, with a lime, and plenty of crushed ice. It was strangely delicious - Maybe they added another ingredient that I didn't realize it?

The rest of my meal was somewhat ho-hum, though. I got Sonic's version of a big double cheeseburger, except it was $4 for something about the size of a McDonald's double cheese, except with pickles, lettuce and tomato on it as well. (It was about the size of two Wendy's Jr. Cheeseburgers.) Amanda and I both got tater tots, but they barely filled our cartons. I also got a steak, egg and cheese burrito - I decided to go big, because how often was I going to be visiting Peabody? - which was passably delicious.

However, as some old white guy probably once said, the journey matters more than the goal sometimes. Yes, the actual food was only average, but I was finally able to visit a medium-quality fast food restaurant that had been blitzing me with effective advertising since I was 17. What could be better than that?