Inexplicable Video Game Review: Parappa The Rappa

You damn kids, with your Dance Dance Revolution and Let's Dance and Rock Bandin'. Back in my day, we had this awesome music game that just used the Playstation controller - Parappa The Rappa.

Well, okay - maybe the game length was a bit low, and the options were a bit lacking. If I'm recalling correctly, there was no stage select, and only five "real" stages: kung-fu, driving, flea market, cooking and the bathroom, followed by the ending.

All of those stages were really, really well-done when it came to the rhyming and rapping, but heck, there weren't that many of them. The game's graphics seemed somewhat simplistic, so even if they added on some not-as-good songs, I think it would have helped the game out.

It also would have helped if the game was a bit deeper. For example, letting you play as more than Parappa, taking different plot arcs, having multiple endings, etc. However, these are minor quibbles about a game that was always marketed as a bargainesque title. I think I paid $30 for it close to its release.

Initially, the game's popularity in October 1997 (13+ years ago, ace!) was helped out by some awesome commercials:



Say what you will about Sony and its elitist attitude at times, but them dudes sure do know how to make a commercial, between these early efforts and Kevin Butler now. And personally, I always had problems with that god damn flea market stage:

Lusting after DJ Hero

Above is a gameplay video for DJ Hero, the latest installment of the Guitar Hero series - Skip ahead to about 30 seconds for the actual beginning, since he has a couple of false starts. I would already own it, except that you have to buy another accessory - a DJ turntable device - that means a $100+ price tag. Also, if I can barely handle Guitar Hero on Normal, then the button juggling needed for DJ Hero seems like it would destroy my fingers.

However, from the above mash-up of "Sabotage" by The Beastie Boys and "Monkey Wrench" by The Foo Fighters, you can tell that the musical quality of the game is incredibly high. As far as I can tell, all of the mash-ups are originals, and I imagine when and if the game releases an official soundtrack, it'll sell even better than the actual game, because of its lower price tag.

Other standout track worth listening to: "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani with "Feel Good Inc." by The Gorillaz. The song featured in the commercial for the game, "My Name Is" by Eminem mixed with "H to the Izzo" by Jay-Z, or if you prefer, Jay-Z and The Jackson Five. And one of the more inspired and weird mixes, "Rapture" by Blondie with "Intergalactic" by The Beastie Boys.

Buy My Crap - Guitar Hero Van Halen

This is still one of the best usages of "Jump"

Hey, look at that - Something that isn't actually crap for sale by me! Try not to act surprised, but I'm putting my copy of Guitar Hero Van Halen up for sale because, honestly, I could use the money more than I'll play the game.

It was a tough decision though, because this is a shockingly well-made game. I don't mean shocking in the sense that a Guitar Hero game with Van Halen would be awesome; I think that's a no brainer. However, I enjoyed this game significantly more than Guitar Hero 5 and Rock Band The Beatles for a variety of reason, most of which I'll cover in a review for Blast that I'll link to later.

Anyway, the same offer I made for Spyborgs applies for this game. In the ultimate cheesiness move, if you want me to autograph the inside case, I totally will. Or, if you'd like to select from my library of crappy PS2, PSX, DC, SNES and NES games, I can whip up a list for you. Just send me an e-mail (sgre6768@gmail.com) when you win the auction so I know that it's you.

Edit: Bumped up to today, from yesterday, because I forgot to put the freakin' link to the eBay auction in yesterday. Doh!

Inexplicable Video Game Review: Rock Band The Beatles

So, yesterday afternoon GameFly sent me the next game on my queue finally, The Beatles edition of Rock Band. I must say that it was a weird experience, and because the game isn't really new anymore, I didn't really think it was appropriate for me to review it for Blast or to try to sell a review to my current journalism employers.

Anyway. The presentation of the game is amazing, by far the best of the music games I've played - Guitar Hero 3, World Tour, Metallica and 5, and Rock Band 2. Unlike past games in both series, the continuity of The Beatles - you can't switch out members of your band - allows for much more vibrant characters and backgrounds.

This is especially true for the psychdelic phases of The Beatles' music, such as "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" and "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band." All of the songs for these phases feature brightly-colored, unique backgrounds, and provide a lot of variety from the stale club backgrounds of the other games. The Beatles edition of Rock Band definitely ups the ante in terms of presentation, and the songs are just as pristine as in other music games.

Unfortunately, all this excellence in presentation probably comes at the cost of depth. Whereas the newest Guitar Hero, the fifth installment, features 85 songs, Rock Band: The Beatles only has 45 songs. If you're going to make a game solely based on one band, I'd like to see the song content maximized. As is, since The Beatles released over 200 songs, we could see a milking of their name in the form of four games. Ugh. Although I realize that the format isn't perfect for every song, some big tracks are left out completely - "Let It Be" and "Eleanor Rigby" were the two biggest omissions to me.

Also, unlike Guitar Hero: Metallica, The Beatles features nothing but The Beatles. Hitting on the previous paragraph, if it's JUST The Beatles, try to include more than 25 percent of their total catalog. I even thought of a great natural "epilogue" chapter that they could have done - The singles of their respect After-Beatles projects. I would have killed for another three songs - "Imagine" by John Lennon, "Baby I'm Amazed" by Paul McCartney and Wings, and "I've Got My Mind Set On You" by George Harrison. And, I suppose something from Ringo, if we must, and maybe some Beatles-inspired music or covers, like "Across The Universe" by Fiona Apple or anything by Oasis.

As is, I still give a high recommendation to the game, provided you're a fan of The Beatles. If you actively dislike them or think they're overrated, then avoid Rock Band: The Beatles at all costs. Otherwise, it's worth renting, since you can easily beat the story mode in about three to four hours. If you are a Beatles fanatic though, you will want to buy it.

The picture of The Beatles is from this blog. Thanks!

Buy My Crap!

This post is a little light, but hey, you got plenty of content yesterday and Friday to sort through, so whatever! I might as well pimp the game I'm selling on eBay, which would be Guitar Hero 5. You can see the listing for it here. It doesn't come with the instruments, or the Van Halen game coming out soon.

You will also be glad to know that you don't have to worry about Courtney Love coming to your house and assaulting you for Kurt Cobain on vocals for inappropriate songs. That's because in my rock band, Election Fraud, he is on the drums. He was on bass before, but then I got Johnny Cash, so I moved Kurt to drums. Shirley Manson is my singer, and we all know how much more talented she is than the former frontman for Nirvana.

The image of Johnny Cash is taken from IGN here.

iTunes Running Diary – Monday, September 14 – Guitar Hero 5

This week's artists.
I decided to do another theme entry, since I just got Guitar Hero 5, and I'm loving it so far. (By the way, McDonald's, I am not paying for that usage, never ever.) Because I realize that some people – myself included – like to discover the game's songs as they play, I will preface this entry with the information that these songs are uncovered within the first hour or so. I only play the guitar, because I don't have any of the other instruments, and really, who prefers to play bass? On to the songs!

- "Fame" by David Bowie. It is already well-cataloged on this here blog that I'm a huge Bowie fan, so I didn't mind playing along with this version at all. I did really well, too, getting five stars easily with 99 percent, and only misplaying a single note. It seems like a song that is tailored more for the vocals, with the ending especially hard.

The song itself is one of Bowie's better, although it doesn't really work up to much of a crescendo. A fun fact from Guitar Hero 5: Some of the backing vocals at the end are by John Lennon. Good for him! I'm glad he had such great taste. I like the first and last minutes the best, with the 1960s "face-off" music giving way to the pluck and glitz of Bowie, which reaches its peak at the end of the song, with the echoing vocals.

- "Only Happy When It Rains" by Garbage, a.k.a. the Shirley Manson band. Their biggest hit might be "Stupid Girl", but I much prefer this song, and I had forgotten about how awesome it is until it came up as a playable for me. Hmmm, do I want to play Shirley Manson or Bob Dylan? The answer is simple, although I'm probably the only one who would chose for the Garbage over the art. (Get the double meaning, get it???)

On a game-related note, the avatar for Shirley Manson is shockingly hot. The actual Shirley is pretty attractive, but the goth makeup and outfits don't really do much for me. Her outfit in the game is just a red dress, and as a result, she has earned the spot as the lead singer in my make-believe band. The other two spots are still fictional characters though; still holding tryouts and what not, you know.

- "Gratitude" by The Beastie Boys. I was actually surprised that this song made it into the game. As a big fan of The Beastie Boys, I don't really consider this one of their signature songs, or one that lends itself well to Guitar Hero. Obviously, "Sabotage" is the easiest one to port, and that's already been done, along with "So Watcha Want?", which wasn't done as well to me.

Off the top of my head, if they wanted to go kind-of-artsy like "Gratitude", then "Sabrosa" would have been better, except that it doesn't have lyrics. My favorite Beastie Boys' song of all-time, "Live at PJ's", would have been an awesome selection because of the great lyrics, bass and drums. There is also some ambient sound in the background - people cheering and clapping to start and end the song - that would have lent itself well to the Guitar Hero crowd. Also better than "Gratitude" would have been "Jimmy James" and "I Don't Know" and "Heart Attack Man".

- "Hurts So Good" by John Cougar Mellencamp. I'm torn on Mellencamp as an artist; he is so freakin' pandering. He's like the generic, mass-market version of Tom Petty, like The Eagles of his generation. "Small Town" and "Jack and Diane" are especially guilty of this sin. I could stand them if they were played sparingly, or if he wasn't shilling Chevy trucks in every other commercial, but it's just all so muchery.

That being said, I do think "Hurts So Good" is the best song of his catalog. It is just a bit catchier and rockier than his other songs, and thus, it gets a reluctant nod of approval from me.

- "Sympathy For The Devil" by The Rolling Stones. Yes, I'm not much of a Stones' fan outside of "Get Out Of My Cloud", but I must admit that I did enjoy playing along to this song, as opposed to some of the alternatives at this point. Also, some of the other songs available - "Steady As She Goes" by The Raconteurs and "Gamma Ray" by Beck - I've already written about, so this song gets the last spot according to the two sweetest words in the human language, according to Homer Simpson - Dee Fault.

Kinda, sorta professional - Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Just so that I can keep track of it, and to allow my readers to share in my vanity, here are some of the things I've done the past two months:

July 18 - Interview - Blast interviews Harcos - Blast Magazine: This is an e-mail interview I did with the 1) the creators of the Mana Potion energy drink and 2) the programmers of an MMORPG. I thought it came out surprisingly well, since I was able to ask them some weird, video game-related questions that will (or should) appeal to hardcore gamers.

July 18 - Review - Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - Blast Magazine: I thought this game stunk, but I gave it a 5 anyway because I was so despondent about it. I honestly don't think anyone even reads the reviews for licensed games; they're either in or out. You can tell the guy commenting on my review didn't read it. Also, I give a shout-out to Danielle, since she helped me playtest the game.

July 9 - Review - Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor - Blast Magazine: My review of a great DS RPG. I sincerely recommend this game, if you had a DS and liked any of the past Persona games or Final Fantasy Tactics.

July 8 - Review - Gemcraft - Gamezebo: A review of a fun tower defense game that adds a few twists. It has a leveling and experience system that is fun to utilize, and instead of focusing on buying 500 units like a typical tower defense game, a better strategy is to make a few uber-powerful ones. The game gets repetitive, but it's still good.

July 4 - Blog - Celebrate the Fourth with Secret of Evermore - Blast Magazine: A blog entry at Chibi Gamer, Blast's video game blog, about how Secret of Evermore deserves more credit for being one of the rare American-feeling games from the SNES RPG era and for its humor.

July 1 - Review - Droplets - Gamezebo: A short but sweet review of a so-so web game. The music and look of the game are great, but the actually game is subpar. There are cute squirrel-type things though, if you're into that.

June 30 - Blog - The roleplaying slums - Blast Magazine: Another blog entry for Chibi Gamer, this one about some of the worst RPGs I've ever played. Somewhat surprisingly, I didn't get any comments on it, which made me a bit sad.

June 29 - Review - Guitar Hero On Tour: Modern Hits - Blast Magazine: A review of the great Guitar Hero adaptation for the DS. I really recommend it if you like Guitar Hero and have a DS, since it's only about $30 or $40 and has some really good tunes.

iTunes Running Diary - Sunday, August 2, 2009

This week's artists.

- “Use Somebody” by Kings of Leon. I actually don't care much for Kings of Leon's biggest hit, “Sex on Fire,” because it makes little sense to me and isn't that interesting, musically, to me. It has these weird, muddy vocals that I'm not into.

However, “Use Somebody” is great for the opposite reason – The lyrics on it are strong, and the guy's voice is quite lovely to listen to. I realize that it is overplayed a bit too much, but this will just make it better in a couple years, after it has gotten a bit of rest, a la Primitive Radio Gods.

- “King Nothing” by Metallica. I'm just playing through Guitar Hero: Metallica now, which has made me realize that they've sneakily come up with about a dozen really good songs. Back when I was growing up, I always associated them more with “Enter Sandman” and a bunch of filler, but as I've matured, that song has gotten really F'ed out, while the others have aged better.

Case in point: This song. It was like the 40th single off of Load (note: actually the eighth, an obscene amount for a single album), and at the time, I didn't think it was anything special. But after being forced to play it or Judas Priest to advance in Guitar Hero, it has definitely grown on me. The same with kind-of-repetitive (at least to me) Metallica songs like “Master of Puppets” and “The Unforgiven.”

- “You're So Damn Hot” by OK Go. OK Go hasn't really shown much range at all, but that's why I like them so much. All they do is make incredible hit modern alternative rock songs. I suppose at some point, they'll try some more ballad-y or artistically credible music, but until then, I revel in songs like “Here We Go Again” and “Get Over It.” Both of them, and “You're So Damn Hot,” are somewhat simplistic, but they're all solid songs, first and foremost.

Although Interpol has a much different sound, I feel the same way about them. They have a particular niche – eerie, atmospheric alternative – and they are content to repeatedly butter the same bread. (That analogy is a little sloppy, but you get the picture.) Ditto with the hard-driving music of Queens of the Stone Age. I'm almost willing to put the White Stripes in this grouping, but they do veer a bit more to the “fulfilling self-artistic side” than just making music people like, at least in my opinion.

- “Train In Vain (Stand By Me)” by the Clash. It's the Clash, so it's obvious that they're great; you don't need me to tell you that. They missed my list the other day because, while I can appreciate their musicianship, I'm not a huge connoisseur of Clash songs, and they didn't have a slew of radio hits. The same thing goes for the Ramones (who are way overrated in my book).

I do think this song is incredible though, and it deserves kudos for being on the best video game soundtrack in my opinion: NCAA Football 2006.

Oh, you thought I'd go with something more conventional, like Secret of Mana or another Square game? This will no doubt annoy some of the video game players reading this, but I vastly prefer commercial music to just about anything in video games. While Secret of Mana does have a great soundtrack, when I replay it, more often than not I mute the game's sound and just play my iTunes.

There are two exceptions to this. One, games that emulate modern music with their tracks. The best examples of this are the PS2 Persona games, which both have great soundtracks, and the DS RPG The World Ends With You. Second, I like games that just say, “Eff it,” and include commercial music. Most EA Sports games take this tact, which I enjoy.

NCAA Football 2006 is the best of the bunch, as it features the aforementioned Clash song, “Hyper Enough” by Superchunk, “Kill Your Television” by Ned's Atomic Dustbin, "Me Myself and I" by De La Soul, "Debaser" by the Pixies and “Teenage FBI” by Guided By Voices. Haven't heard of any of them? Well, just buy NCAA Football 2006, because it has all of them and costs $5 on eBay. Problem solved!

iTunes Running Diary - Monday, July 13, 2009

This week's artists, a day late.

- “She Wants To Move” by N.E.R.D. Wondering whatever happened to one-hit wonder Pharrell after he was done “Frontin'”? (Girl, you know he wants you bad.)

Much like Danger Mouse of The Grey Album fame, who is now more known for being half of Gnarls Barkley, Pharrell is actually in N.E.R.D., a kind-of popular band known for this song and “Spaz.” Ironically, both are featured in commercials, but I knew of N.E.R.D. before then because of “Rock Star,” which got some alternative rock radio play. Like Gnarls Barkley, N.E.R.D. is a little hard to categorize; kind of like techno, alternative rap.

And because I brought up Gnarls Barkley, I'd like to take a second to talk about Charles Barkley, the greatest NBA player ever. I'm saying this for two reasons – I have an awesome poster of him that I bought in third grade, and he is by far the most quotable, funniest NBA player ever. Although I've already brought up this story once before in a comparison between Gnarls and Charles, his bar fight in Philadelphia bears repeating:

My favorite Charles Barkley story is about when he got into a bar fight in 1997 and threw a guy through a plate glass window. When the police asked him if he had any regrets, Barkley said, "I regret we weren't on a higher floor."

As Cigar sports reporter Pat Oullette said when he heard that story, "Charles Barkley is the man." Sports editor Matt Pavao said, "I wish Charles Barkley threw me through a plate glass window." Production manager Michelle Kirms said he was her favorite basketball player growing up.

- “Song 2” by Blur. The other night at trivia, the trivia lady asked an approximation of the following question: What British band, despite releasing seven critically-acclaimed albums, is best known as a one-hit wonder for their hit single “Creep”?

Now, the answer is obviously Radiohead, except that up until she named the actual single, it was Blur. And I'm saying this as a guy who actually likes more music by Blur besides “Song 2.” While I'm not crazy about the frenetic energy of “Crazy Beat,” it's still a good listen, as is “Tender (The Sweetest Thing).” And “Coffee and TV” is just an addictive, great song that is pushed over the top by the bittersweet music video.

If you're looking for a British band with one monster hit that conceals their underground credibility, then it's Blur. I think everyone is aware of Radiohead's virtues. Heck, I don't even like Radiohead that much – I find their music to be a bit like ambient techno, there and clearly good, but I'm just not interested – but I can name two hit songs by them. Obviously, “Creep,” but there is also “Karma Police,” which has gotten significant radio play.

- “Chelsea Dagger” by The Fratellis. Back in the day, when I ran the Cigar entertainment section, I assigned this CD to someone to review it. They came back, raving about how great it was, and gave it a great review, but it didn't really stick in my mind to go download some tracks.

Flash forward to about two weeks ago. I got sent a copy of Guitar Hero: Modern Hits to review for the DS, and one of the songs was “Chelsea Dagger.” It is so rhythmic and awesome, and it makes me feel like a sad panda that I took so goddamn long to download it. Along the same lines, it took me forever to get into Girl Talk, and Feed The Animals now has the most plays on my iTunes.

- “Love Me Two Times” by The Doors. I didn't mean for this entry to highlight just music from Guitar Hero and Rock Band, but apparently iTunes had different ideas.

A couple entries ago, when talking about Everclear, I wrote that their lead singer's struggles with drugs and altered thinking on it probably gave the band a sort of obsession he couldn't match once he got clean. The obsession allowed him to create great music and survive long enough to eventually get clean. Without the music, I imagine that he would have succumbed even quicker.

I think the same thing about Jim Morrison and The Doors. I always feel like the music and lifestyle kind of get blamed as causing the drug usage, but given the background of Morrison – there are plenty of good books out there on his life – he would have been into drugs even without the music.

Kinda, sorta professional - Monday, June 22, 2009

[Left] Studies show that an attractive woman increases traffic by 12,783%, even if she is only tangentially related to the original content. Picture originally from this list about Guitar Hero.

I've been busy lately, which is annoying, because it means I don't write as much as I should. Just so that I can keep track of it, and to allow my readers to share in my vanity, here are some of the things I've done the past week:

June 22 - Blog - Guitar Hero, Rock Band wish list - Blast Magazine
June 22 - Review - Black Sigil: Blade of the Exiles - Blast Magazine