YPB: Episode 098 – Disney’s Beauty and the Beast (1994)

This week in Your Parents Basement, we are getting killed by bats, rats and traps in one horrible game! From 1994, we’re playing Disney’s Beauty and the Beast developed by Probe Entertainment and published by Hudson Soft for the Super Nintendo.

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TIMESTAMPS

• 0:00 – Intro, which is the trailer from the 1991 movie version.
• 19:00 – Todd performs his magic, as he unearths more gold for another segment of… Video Game Theater. (WARNING! Strong language.)
• 24:30 – We have a Most Best Game of All-Time segment! From the Most Best Gift Giver!
• 27:15 – Emails!
• 40:00 – Next week, we’re playing a deeeeeep, story-driven game for the Nintendo 64.

Inexplicable Video Game Review: Keeping It Balanced With Ecolibrium

This is one of the cool creatures that cost a million points.

So, what would happen if you basically fused the odd cult SNES game EVO with a simulation / management game? The answer is Ecolibrium, a rigidly timed game available on the PS Vita. It’s free if you’re a Playstation Plus subscriber, which I am.

Basically, the goal in the game is twofold: 1) Solve “challenges” facing three different ecosystems by balancing the animals, plants and fungi in each one. 2) In your own one to three ecosystems, build up vibrant wildlife balances to earn points, which help you buy new, more valuable animals, plants and fungi that earn you more points.

The life forms you buy are all original creations, although most of the animals are vaguely dinosaur-ish in appearance and sound (or rather what I imagine a dinosaur would sound like). Likewise, the plants tend to have real world analogues, with the most expensive and best tree kind of resembling a redwood.

The most intriguing and frustrating aspect of Ecolibrium is its usage of real-time. You start out with 100 energy points per challenge or free ecosystem. Introducing a new creature costs 20 energy points, and a plant costs 10 points. Energy points restore at the rate of one per minute, so when you use up all your energy, it takes roughly 100 minutes to recover it back.

However, this mechanic isn’t really used well enough. Except for your first few times playing, and when starting a new challenge, you usually don’t have to worry about your energy consumption because the scarcer resource is points.

As previously mentioned, you use points – either the system-wide ones or the challenge-specific points – to buy animals, plants and fungi. However, you build up points with the same real-time mechanic as energy. After about a month of playing the game, I have a level eight ecosystem with a wide range of creatures, but my point production is only about 1,100 per hour.

This is a problem when the second ecosystem you can buy costs 1 million points, and the third ecosystem is a whopping 2 million points. With the (roughly) 400,000 points I have now, it means I can’t afford a second ecosystem for another month, which means limited playing on my part. You can repeat challenges for points, but only for 10 percent of the original reward – so, around 12,000 points. It’s usually not worth the effort.

Because of the point shortage, it severely hampers the other fun parts of the game. There is an auction house where you can bid on and sell surplus creatures, but if you’re hoarding points to buy an ecosystem, it doesn’t usually help to bid. (Example: The platinum-level creatures generate points at a much-higher rate of around 200 per hour, but to buy a pair from the auction house costs around 1 million points by itself.)

Of course, like a Facebook game, Ecolibrium does offer you “add-on content” that you can spend real money on, kind of like the packs in Mass Effect 3. Unlike that game though, you can’t buy, say, creature or plant packs with points – you have to spend real money. While there are posts on message boards about people doing this, the overall quality of Ecolibrium isn’t high enough to tempt me.

Inexplicable Video Game Review: Final Fantasy III / VI

Everyone (and by everyone, I mean nerds) has a favorite Final Fantasy game, or if you're like me and you've played all of them multiple times, a grouping of games that you tend to prefer. However, I will say that there is a clear winner to me when it comes to being amazed and wowed by a game - Final Fantasy VI, the second American release for the series on the Super Nintendo.

A note to those casual gamers and light fans of the series - The numbering and naming makes little sense. All of the games are called Final Fantasy, which is comical because we're into a 13th installment now, and the first game came out in 1987. The first game came out for the NES then, followed by two more NES games that weren't released in America. Therefore, the next American game was called Final Fantasy II, even though it was really the fourth installment, and came out for the SNES. Square then inexplicably skipped releasing the fifth game in the states, and the sixth was released instead... and called Final Fantasy III.

Things finally got to "normal" with Final Fantasy VII on the Playstation, but this is a relative term with Square. Past games were ported for release on new systems, and the American numbering system was completely abandoned. Also, all of this applies to just the main series with the numbers - There is still plenty of chicanery going on with Square's side games. For example, there is a tactical RPG called Final Fantasy Tactics that I love. What was the successor to that game called? Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, since it came out for the Game Boy Advance. There is also the incredibly shitty Final Fantasy Mystic Quest that's final boss can be beaten by Cure spells, spin-off games from the main series like Final Fantasy X-2 and Final Fantasy: Dissidia, and legitimate Japanese series (Seiken Densetsu and SaGa) that were slapped with the Final Fantasy label for the initial American releases (Final Fantasy Adventure and Final Fantasy Legend).

Basically, Square is pretty fucked up when it comes to naming. However, getting back to the topic at hand, Final Fantasy VI definitely made the biggest impression on me upon its initial release. The tight but flexible gameplay and bright, colorful visuals in a genre normally known more for text helped separate it from any other game of the time. While the story tends to get overrated - II has a much better narrative - the characters are pretty distinct, which is impressive when 14 of them are playable.

I'll add that my most vigorous complaint about the game comes with people who insist that it is non-linear. Yes, the second half of the game is open-ended when it comes to recruiting your party, but hints are still offered about a preferred order, and you HAVE to recruit at least Celes, Edgar and Setzer. (Stupid effing Setzer.) It's not like there is another ending, and the order you recruit people in has no effect on dialogue, except for minor instances. Also, unless you have a craving for a more difficult game, you're going to recruit at least 12 character anyway to beat the final dungeon.

One thing I've loved about the game is how many bugs and little tricks are in it, many of which have only been recently discovered. For example, did you know that you can make the entire game crash by having an empty party? Did you know that if you only have three party members, you can recruit Shadow in Kohlingen and bring him to the opera? (Note: He leaves, of course.) Did you know you can play large portions of the game without Celes? And if you have the GBA version of the game, you can easily maximize your character stats via a level reset glitch.

Inexplicable Video Game Review: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 4

Remember a couple entries back, when I was talking about how awesome the second and third Ninja Turtles games were for the NES? Well, imagine that excellent, but riding a cool skateboard and eating pizza, because like, that's how totally awesome the fourth Turtles game for the SNES is.

Quite frankly, it's one of the best games for the system, which is amazing since it came out in 1992. Although technically titled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time, my friends and I just called it Super Turtles. You see, this was a clever double meaning, in that it was the first Turtles game for the SUPER Nintendo, and because the quality was quite SUPER as well. Ha ha ha, aren't I so clever? (Yeah, I'm totally taking credit for it right now.)

Anyway. Besides some obvious technical enhancements, Super Turtles is vastly superior from a planning and layout perspective. Stages feature more thing to interact with, such as manholes, damage-causing traffic cones and exploding gas tanks. While regular enemies are still numerous, bosses feature a life bar, which makes it much more convenient to fight them; you know if you have enough life to fight conservatively or aggressively.

The four turtles each have different weapons and attacks, and slight differences in attack power. You can also now run and use shoulder tackles, and there are combo attacks allowing for throws (more points) and back-and-forth slams (splash damage on nearby enemies). This is in addition to the usual weapon attacks, a jump kick, a slow but strong jumping weapon attack, and a character-specific special attack.

Touching on the technical enhancements – This is by far the best version at capturing the spirit of the animated cartoon Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which is what most kids I knew liked about it. The music and sound effects are also spot-on, and heck, they even managed to cram in almost all of the relevant characters from the show. The time travel aspect of the storyline means there are some silly cutscenes that totally fit in with the flavor of the show.

They attempted a 3D remake for X-Box Live or Network, whatever it is called. Although I haven't played it, I've heard it's ass, so stick with the original. It ranges for $2 to $30 on eBay, depending on whether you want the box and manual. I wholeheartedly recommend it!

Inexplicable Video Game Review: Mega Man Soccer

In honor of the World Cup and my love for retro junk, let's talk about Mega Man Soccer. Back in the 1990s, Capcom was basically known for two things - Mega Man and Street Fighter 2. They also had some minor successes, such as the Breath of Fire series, Final Fight, a bunch of fun Disney adaptations, and Ghouls and Ghosts.

Notice that there was not a sports game on that list, nevermind a soccer game. Yet for some reason, when Capcom thought of ways to spin off the Mega Man series, they somehow settled on soccer, of all things. This seems especially odd given that the game isn't that popular in North America or Japan, as compared to other sports. Why not Mega Man Baseball or Mega Man Football? In both of those games, having robot players would have a much greater effect.

Anyway, there are several fundamental problems with Mega Man Soccer. First and foremost, the soccer action really sucks. It's almost impossible to dribble any significant length of the field, which is also truncated as compared to a regular soccer field. The regular shots also suck, and it's impossible to score unless you do it on a rebound.

There is little difference between the robot players, except that they have different special power-up shots that you can use. For each team you beat, you get access to a player, which gives you more special shots and makes things easier. However, the game is pretty easy anyway, since you can go up by a goal and easily play keep-away the rest of the match.

Frankly, Mega Man Soccer sucks. However, because it sucked, it didn't sell that many copies, but because it's got Mega Man in the name, some people still want to play it. Therefore, it sells for $20 to $100 on eBay! Speaking as someone who has played and beat the game, its actual value is about $2.50, as any of the FIFA games for the SNES are far better.

Dear NES, how did I ever beat anything on you?

Back in the day, I used to be a voracious devourer of video games. (To some extent, I still am; this entry is significantly delayed because I was powering through the end of Final Fantasy: Dissidia.) Of course, my first game was Super Mario Brothers, followed closely by Duck Hunt and World Class Track Meet, since all three were on the same cartridge. This game was so prevalent that used game stores refused to even give you $1 for it, and actively turned me away when I just tried to give them my copy.

From an age I can't even remember, to about 16 or 17 (when the pursuit of and mostly failure of getting girls took over), I played anything I could get my hands on, with an emphasis on RPGs and adventures. At this point, I had a NES, Game Boy, SNES, N64 and PSX (in roughly that order), and once I hit 18 I picked up a PSX and Genesis on the cheap. I picked up a PS2 my senior year of high school, and this carried me all the way through college.

However, reflecting back on all of this gaming, two questions sprung to mind. The first is relatively minor - How the heck was I ever exposed to a NES in the first place? I dimly recall that my friend Brian had a NES, along with a couple dozen games, but I also remember that I also had one at this point because I would always try to borrow games from him. (Back in the day, the only way to get new games was to shell out $50 for them, bum them from friends, rent them from Stop and Shop, or look through the classifieds. Funcoland wasn't around in Rhode Island until I was 17 or 18.)

I have no other memories of my early gaming, except that it happened, and that one night my day snuck a rental copy of Super Mario Brothers 2 in under his coat, which I had been nuts about playing. Its release date was October 1988, meaning I was around 4 or 5 at the time.

Secondly: How the heck did I ever actually beat any of these old RPGs and adventure games? I did have a subscription to Nintendo Power, but only for a couple years. The Super C issue was my first in May / June 1990, and I never even owned that game. I'm positive that the magazine helped me through some tricky parts in Castlevania 2, and it and my parents helped me with Shadowgate. (Incidentally, this is the only game they both ever got really into. My mom played and beat the original Dragon Warrior, which came free with Nintendo Power for a little bit.)

However, I distinctly recall beating Zelda 2 on my own, which required doing esoteric things like finding magic to turn yourself into a fairy to get through certain keyholes. The same thing happened for Zelda 1, although my aunt did show me how to use bombs. (Give me a break - I was like 5.)

The later Dragon Warrior games? All me, with no help from guides or Nintendo Power, and in the case of the second one, no instruction manual. The third one did contain a nice little guide in it, but it was fairly linear anyway. The second one was a monstrous ordeal, where you basically had to sail your little ship around the world and hope you didn't accidentally land on an island way too tough for you.

Past the NES generation, games began to self-regulate and clean up their act a bit. While you could get stuck in Final Fantasy 2/4 if you didn't play for a long time, and thus forget what your current task was, generally the people in your party could tip you off. The same thing goes for the third installment, which was also much more linear than people want to claim. This gameplay clarity made it a lot more frustrating when a game was a throwback, like Breath of Fire 2, which had plodding pacing and randomly made you use characters that sucked (looking in your direction, Sten and Jean).

Channel surfing and geekdom

- The other night I was watching the Kill Bill marathon on TNT, and I thought, "This is so unrealistic, there is no way they'd let her carry that samurai sword on the plane!" Then I pondered and thought about of all the things in the movie that are ridiculous, yet I seemingly keyed in on that one.

- They have been playing commercials for some Chipmunks CD every five minutes on ESPN. Like, seriously? I can't imagine there is that much overlap between demographics.

- I played through the Chrono Trigger remake for the DS recently, and it really was splendid. If you have a DS, you need to get it, because it is worth the $40. The extra features, like FMV and four more dungeons, are neat enough, and it's cheaper to get this version than the original SNES. Oh, and the PSX version sucks compared to this one.

- My feet have been killing me because of the court I've played basketball on lately. It's indoors, at an old elementary school near me, and the floor is made out of this 60-year-old rubber. It's so springy that you sink in just a bit when you try to jump or come to a stop, and as a result, my calves have also been killing me. It also means I shoot even worse than normal, but on the plus side, it forces me to focus on the defensive end, since I can't play offense as well.