Inexplicable TV Review: Galavant Gala-like (still!)

So, as I was saying, Galavant is kind of an OK show, and surprisingly, it got a second season! I’m about halfway through it, but they’ve spiced things up with the addition of Clare Foster as Roberta, the redheaded love interest of (formerly) King Richard, the character played by Timothy Omundsmen. More importantly, they’ve kept in the solid anchors of the first season – Omundsmen, Mallory Jansen as the evil Queen Madalena, Karen David as the long-named Princess Isabella Maria Lucia Elizabeth of Valencia, and Vinnie Jones as a henchman.

The show was a surprise renewal, since season one of Galavant didn’t exactly set the world on fire with ratings. The debut of season one had 7.4 million viewers, but it fell to around 4.37 million for the finale. Season two was worse, with the debut doing only 3.2 million and the finale episodes – airing on Jan. 31 – only doing 2.15 million. I still have to watch them myself, since it’s a show I like to be able to devote my attention to, because of the witty wordplay and songs. (There is still a ton of singing. Tons and tons of singing.)

The second seasons started with the episode “A New Season a.k.a. Suck It Cancellation Bear.” So, by the way, I guess I’m writing in this blog again. If you’ve missed my writing, and somehow only got exposed to it on here for some reason, then you should check out Your Parents Basement, the podcast on pre-2000s video games I do with my buddies on a weekly basis. My temporary goal for 2016 is to post more entries than I did in 2015. Since that number was 3, it should be easy to surpass, but hey – crazier things have happened.

Inexplicable TV Review: Galavant Gala-like

Somehow, Galavant is kind of an OK show. I’m not entirely sure how, since the concept – a musical twist on the classical damsel in distress, dungeons and dragons affair – seems like a Monty Python sketch stretched way too thin. How do they make it work for one 22-minute episode? Nevermind eight of them!

However, in execution, Galavant basically works as a version of Glee that is not completely up its own ass with seriousness. Everything is tongue-in-check and played for laughs, and with the surging popularity of things like Game of Thrones and Tolkien’s entire literary history now fodder for blockbusters, there is plenty of spoofing material.

The premise – The hero Galavant has his lover, Madalena, taken from him by the dastardly king. He storms the castle in an attempt to rescue her… Only to be told at the altar, by her, that she likes this new arrangement and her new things and doesn’t need rescuing. He’s knocked out, and time passes, allowing him to become vagrant-y. The now-Queen Madalena turns out to be a terror, and in an attempt to win her over more completely, the king concocts a plot to build Galavant back up for a duel in front of the queen, at which point he will kill Galavant.

All of this features singing. A lot of singing. A lot of hilarious, tongue-in-check singing. I mentioned Monty Python before, and while nothing reaches the heights of “Always Look On The Bright Side of Life,” most of the tunes are at least as good as “Camelot.” It’s a show that’s clearly made with goofy fun, with actors making obvious asides and winking statements to the camera, which makes it easier to hang in with.

In the words of a famous man, it's good to be the king.

There is a small bit of wasted potential in the concept though, in that they clearly had to skimp a bit on the acting talent. The standout is Timothy Omundson as the king, showing off some comedic chops after basically play straight-laced for eight years as Carlton Lassiter on Psych. His kidnapped damsel turned torturer Madalena, played by Australian model Mallory Jansen, is also a standout, as is Karen David as Princess Isabella Maria Lucia Elizabeth of Valencia. Vinnie Jones basically plays the king’s lead henchman as Snatch’s Bulletproof Tony in the 1200s… not that that’s a bad thing.

The rest of the cast, including the lead role, are shakier. They don’t detract from the fun, but they don’t add as much. And the guest stars are where the show is at its absolute hammiest. John Stamos, Weird Al and Ricky Gervais are just way too on the nose when it comes to the comedic accessory parts. Unlike the very best spoof movies, there isn’t a Lloyd Bridges or Robert Stack or Peter Graves to balance this out. (Okay, all three of them are dead. Yeah but still.)

The reception to the show has been mixed. On one hand, it has gotten average to very good reviews from most sources. On the other hand, it’s been pretty horribly rated. It started with 7.42 million viewers and a 2.0 in the 18 to 49 demo, but it slid to 1.3 in its second week and 0.9 in its third week. The final two episodes are on Sunday, and it can’t be a cheap show to produce, so a second season seems unlikely.

The title card and picture of Tim and Mallory are common promotional images floating around the Internet.

Inexplicable TV Review: Nobody Trusted The B in Apartment 23

 I’ll write about my other favorite but cancelled sitcom, Happy Endings, at a future date, since its fate was seemingly at least pondered a bit before the axe fell. However, for now, let’s focus on the titular B of this entry, even though both shows probably suffered from the same problem.

That issue – Don’t Trust The B In Apartment 23 is a stupid name. Yes, it’s appropriate given the show and its content, but it’s a name that doesn’t make it easy to endorse to your friends. “Gimmick” names seldom work for primetime shows – Most of the successful ones are short and not too cute, whether it’s Seinfeld or Friends or Cheers or Modern Family or *shudder* 2 and a Half Men.

So, it’s not surprising to me that the show didn’t catch on, and I’ll lay the primary problem at the feet of its name. Just call it Apartment 23 instead and I bet it gets to a third season. Looking past the name problem, I’m left with two content “problems” that I didn’t really find to be problems, thanks to the demographic I’m in.

Firstly, a lot of the humor is narrow and aimed at people who grew up in the 1990s and 2000s. For example, you weren’t going to get a Journey reference on Don’t Trust The B – you were much more likely to get Natalie Imbruglia. The whole character of James Van Der Beek, while hilarious on its own, does rely a bit on you buying into his past as a famous actor on Dawson’s Creek. While I’m not opposed to that, I also realize that sitcoms pitched at people primarily younger than 40 tend to fail quickly.

Secondly, the most consistent “tone” of the show is biting snark. There weren’t many sweet moments on the show, to the point that two recurring characters had obsessions with stalking and peeping on Chloe (Krysten Ritter) and June (Dreama Walker). To be fair about this, it could have been that they needed to switch from Liza Lapira to Michael Blaiklock for acting reasons, but still, I probably would have been OK without a stalker character in the first place.

I didn’t view any of this as a serious impediment to my watching, but I do understand why other people weren’t big fans of the show. I found the chemistry of Ritter, Walker and Van Der Beek to be quite charming though, and the people in other roles – like Eric Andre as the wet blanket Mark and Ray Ford as James’ assistant Luther – were serviceable enough, if nothing special.

The show unfortunately ends on a bit of a cliffhanger, as James finds out his real father isn’t actually Richard Dean Anderson. Unlike with Happy Endings, there has been absolutely no talk of the show continuing on in some form, so I guess we’ll never find out.

Bizarre tangent – For unknown reason, political blogger Steve Sailer has a weird deep dive on the show, where he notes that Luther and Mark are actually covert commentaries on the sacred cows of the liberal media, Martin Luther King Jr. and Barack Obama. He then notes that he’s the only person who’s been able to notice this, and also likens the show to Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest. This strikes me as wonderfully insane theories, kind of like the stuff featured in Room 237, but good for him.

For more wonderful Chloe / Ritter GIFs, go here.

A fall TV guide (with help from Carly Googles)

Hey, it's almost time for TV shows to get back on the air! :O It seems like just yesterday that they all ended in May. Where DOES the time go?

However, I'm psyched, since in just a few short weeks I will be able to devote massive amounts of my time (and this blog!) to new television. Some of these posts will take the place of The Baggage Game, which will disappoint some of you, but no doubt please Danielle and others who dislike it.

My friend Carly - and I can call her my friend, of course, because we're friends on Facebook - at Carly Googles already covered some of this ground. You can check out her awesome entry here. I'm going to focus on the shows I actually watch though, cribbing from her list and the Internet, like...

Archer - TBA 2011. The cartoon from Matt Reed, the guy who did Sealab 2021 and Frisky Dingo, was probably my favorite show from start to finish last year. The only bad thing was its short season length. I'm hoping they do a full 20-episode run this time, but since it is an FX show, I'm guessing that won't happen.

Community - Sept. 23 (Thurs.) Like the other NBC Thursday shows, we have another week to go for new episodes. SIGH. Given how the season ended, there are definitely a lot of different ways they can go with the start. It's definitely the tensest comedy from a character standpoint, given the minefield that awaits this year.

Family Guy - Sept. 26 (Sun.) I feel like each year, less and less of my friends watch. However, if you can accept that it's generally the same sort of formula for each episode, it's still pretty solid. Hey, it's only 22 minutes of your life, once you take away the commercials. There isn't enough funny in that short time to keep your interest? As "Funny" Dave Dameshek would say, SHAME!

Glee - Sept. 21 (Tues.) Sigh - It seems like so far away! Just one more week...

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - Sept. 16 (Thurs.) This freakin' week! SCORE. I'm super excited.

Modern Family - Sept. 22 (Wed.) A week after Always Sunny, which seems appropriate to me. It's the best network sitcom going right now, even if I thought its last episode sucked. It really deserved all of the Emmys it won, though.

The Office - Sept. 23 (Thurs.) Much like Heroes last year, this is a make-or-break season of the show to me. If the first couple episodes are bad, I'm probably tapping out quickly. Even Dwight couldn't save some episodes last year, and he's normally the one go-to guy in terms of laughs.

Saturday Night Live - TBA (but if I had to guess, I'd say Sept. 25 or Oct. 2) This could be an interesting season, since they're (allegedly) replacing four or more cast members. Last season was pretty much sucky except for Betty White, which was surprising to me, because the previous year was pretty solid toward the end.

Shit My Dad Says - Sept. 23 (Thurs.) I really doubt that this show has any staying power. However, I'll at least give it a chance for a couple episodes. Shatner + Funny = Interest.

South Park - Oct. 6. Technically, this is a continuation of the season that began in March. I hate how South Park splits up their seasons into seven episode chunks, ugh. Just as you're getting into the show, it goes off the air for five months. It is still consistently 1) funny 2) socially relevant or 3) both.

The Venture Bros. - TONIGHT! My favorite cartoon on Adult Swim! I just wish they managed to produce more than an episode a month, seemingly. It is animated in an old school style that apparently takes effing forever. The wait is usually worth it, though.

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I'm positive I forgot some shows, but this is what's on my radar for now.

Modern Family almost jumps the shark in finale

Dear Modern Family,

You have consistently been the most accessible new show on network television in your debut season. For example, my mom likes watching you, and she's not normally super-into television sitcoms. You are consistently funny, and you will definitely be in my Top Five when I do my "end of season" rankings.

That being said, were you just plain out of ideas for this finale? The final five minutes, in particular, were just straight-up bad. Really, a mud fight during a family portrait that would eventually end in Claire loosening up a bit? Seriously? That is the kind of shit I would expect from Two and a Half Men or Will and Grace or Blossom or some other horrid, by the numbers sitcom. Come on, Modern Family - You're better than that.

Before the last five minutes, you did have some decent moments. I loved Mitchell freaking out about the bird being loose in the house. Phil getting in trouble with Claire is always funny. And Luke being wrapped in plastic to avoid getting messy before the picture? Totally awesome. However, why did you have to screw it all up with those last five minutes? Sigh!

Grade: C-

A sneak peek of the other upfronts, and Pitching Perfect Projects

Note: Elvis Costello should have his own sitcom.

Continuing on my post from yesterday, and from the excellent dispatches from the upfronts by Slate's Troy Patterson here and here, my thoughts on the new shows pitched for the upcoming fall season...

- Lonestar is about an oil tycoon con man trying to keep it all together. A FOX show, it'll probably be canceled at the first sign of ratings trouble. I'm not really that interested in the concept; this sounds like the type of show that will be crammed down my throat in promos during the baseball playoffs, only to disappear from the fall schedule after a couple episodes. (However, in case anyone has forgotten the lesson pounded into our heads from past postseasons, "Her father is the DISTRICT ATTORNEY!")

- I like the pedigree of Running Wilde, which has Will Arnett and Keri Russell in it. However, as good as Arnett was as Gob Bluth, he has produced a lot of... well, shit, since then. It would be a shame if that was his career peak, but it has happened to actors a lot better than him. Therefore, I'm going to remain cautiously optimistic for his new show.

- Mixed Signals got the best response from the mostly-old-dude crowd at the FOX upfront, so I will try to check it out in the fall, even though I know almost nothing of it. Raising Hope sounds horrid, even from Patterson's short description of it as Three Men and a Baby minus two men. Doesn't Two and a Half Men fill out quota for shows-without-moms needed on network TV?


Better yet, I think we need a ridiculous premise show that goes the completely opposite direction. Therefore, I am proposing a new show, which I call Four Lesbians, Two Babies and an Elephant. (In case "lesbians" in a show title doesn't fly, my alternate title is Four Women, Two Babies and an Elephant.) Of the four women, two would be doctors - they're very popular with executives - one would be a spy, and the last one would be a drug addict. If one baby means ratings, then two babies mean DOUBLE ratings. And, any show can have a puppy or a kitten. To spice things up, these gals need an elephant.

- At the ABC upfront, No Ordinary Family sounds like it could be a winner. A drama about a family with superhero powers? Yes. Sign me up. Heroes was awesome until it started adding 500,000 different characters, so focusing on just a single family of heroes could be interesting.

- In contrast, I'm not sure how much I'll like Mr. Sunshine with Matthew Perry. In the early seasons of Friends, he was savagely sharp and funny. But as the show was increasingly pitched toward female viewers and the female characters, he lost a lot of his edge. If he is back to his snide-as-eff character, then I'm in. If he's pining for some woman in the first episode, I'm out.

- Happy Endings sounds vapid and stupid and a waste of time. The same goes for My Generation. Generally, anything that claims to be cool, hip or on the cutting edge is never cool, hip or on the cutting edge.

- Off The Map and Body of Proof sound like rehashes of shows currently on the air. If they're decent, I'm guessing they'll just piggyback on to the existing shows. Neither one sounds like it has breakout potential.

- And finally... The Shatner show based on Shit My Dad Says. My goodness, I'm excited. Two reasons: It will either be legitimately good, or it will be so bad it is great, because Shatner is involved. I really don't see any middle ground on this, although I think it's far more likely that it sucks, like the show based on the Geico cavemen. I do like my friend Tom's suggestion: It should be renamed from Shit My Day Says, which won't fly on network television, to Shatner My Dad Says.

The picture of Elvis Costello at the top of the blog is from this blog, which is in some foreign language. The lesbian photo I modified a bit, but found at this blog. The baby photo is from here. And Dumbo is from this blog.

Even more answers on LOST!

There was a lot of bellyaching on the Internetz about last week's episode of LOST. Not surprisingly, I liked it - I sometimes think I'm too easy on the show because I crammed all of my viewing into a year, as opposed to stretching it out over multiple years. However, I think this week's episode will be much better received, and of course, I frickin' loved it all.

For once, LOST actually provided plenty of answers, mostly in the form of a campfire question and answer with Jacob. Why does FLocke walk around when he can just Smoke Monster'it around? Well, because it reminds him of being human to walk around. Who's the candidate? Jack volunteers. Why are they potential candidates? Because all of their lives were crappy on the mainland, an assertion they all reluctantly accept. Why was Kate's name crossed out? Well, because she got a life and became a mother, and as Jacob bluntly points out, that's just chalk on a wall.

It is this sort of bluntness that I love the most about LOST. Like South Park, it isn't afraid to basically shoot the middle finger to its fans and stick to its guns. In a show where the throbbing masses who watch it want to assert meaning to every little thing that happens, sometimes, as the saying goes, a cigar is just a cigar.

Is there still a lot for LOST to wrap up in its final episode? Absolutely! However, they are running toward the finish line now, whereas most of the season I felt like they were crawling. (Especially since pretty much everything that happened in the Temple seems dated and silly now.) My rough predictions for the final episode:

Desmond on the Island being a "last resort", I think his power works roughly like it did in the hatch - He has the power to reset things, which might work by making the Bizarro LAX real, or making the Island surface in Bizarro LAX. Regarding Bizarro LAX, I think that's the actual reality, while everything happening on the Island is a sort of shell game that decides humanity's fate. FLocke will definitely fail, because I can't imagine the show ending with the bad guy winning, not when the creators are adamant that they have no interest in continuing the show in the future. Ben will be the one to kill FLocke, but not before Ben kills another fan favorite, with my money being on Hurley. I think there is a good chance that Sawyer sacrifices himself to save the life of Jack or Kate. And Miles is definitely the one who saved Desmond from the well, because deep down, he does have a bit of a heart.

Grade: A

The picture comes from the always excellent Lostpedia entry for tonight's episode, "What They Died For."

Is Julie Bowen hotter than Sofia Vergara?

To answer the question posed by the title of this entry, before Wednesday night's episode of Modern Family, I had been leaning toward Bowen being hotter anyway. There is something that strikes me as “fake” when it comes to Sofia. It's not quite the female-female impersonator level, which strikes Pamela Anderson, but she almost seems too good to be true. Also, I envision her being completely batshit crazy, which doesn't help.

In contrast, Bowen is no doubt a feast for the eyes, and she seems stable and attainable. Julie Bowen is the hot girl that your best buddy settles down with early. At the time, everyone is like, “Hey, whoa man, looks like you traded in your freedom too early, yuck yuck yuck!” But then, as time passes, and they're happily married, you just realize... That magnificent bastard. He married up!

So yes, I'd favor Bowen over Vergara at this point – Call it a 10 to 9 boxing decision, as opposed to a flat out KO. And oh, there was a hilarious new Modern Family on Wednesday night. The evil Alex moment of the night? When she gleefully spilled to Claire (Bowen!) that Haley had been drinking. “You're not going to like this as much as I do, but she's drunk.” mwhahaha. So perfect.

The other great scenes of the episode were between Luke, the normal little kid, and Manny, the Rico Suave in training. Manny was a complete neat freak in his room, which led to Luke being the messy one, spouting off things like, “I am a bathroom Martian!” and “I'm wrinkling your linen!!!” The kids definitely stole the show from the adults this past episode, although the other plots – Jay throwing out his back, Phil being Phil – were still great.

Grade: A+

Probing the origins of Jacob, Not-Jacob

I've poked around the Internet a bit for reviews of last night's episode of LOST, and much to my surprise, people were quite "meh" on it. While I agree with the common assessment that not much was really answered about the show, I did like that the creators at least tried to provide some framework for why there is a rivalry between Jacob and FLocke. There was just a neat, mystical feel to the episode that you couldn't really indulge in if you put it too far under the microscope.

Like the Richard episode a few weeks ago, this LOST focused solely on the relationship between Mother, Jacob and FLocke, with only a brief cutaway at the end. Given how much I liked both episodes, I kind of wish they had used this conventional method of storytelling a bit more often.

Since we knew so little about both the origins of Jacob and FLocke coming in, I'm in favor of the decision to reveal a little - but not all - of the details of their background. Having them essentially wash ashore adds to the mystery of the whole thing, as does the decision to not even try to explain where the heck Mother came from. Likewise, not naming FLocke (or Not-Jacob, as I call him in the title of this entry) adds to the mystical / comic book feel of the episode.

Most LOST fans probably won't be completely happy with this thought of mine, but I imagine the origins of the ancient Island inhabitants - Mother, Jacob and FLocke - will never be truly revealed. Because of this, I think we'll just have to be happy with an expanded knowledge of the more "human" characters like Jack, Kate (boo!), Sawyer and (hopefully!) Miles.

Grade: A-

As usual, the great pictures from LOST are from the Lostpedia entry for the episode, which can be found here.

Laughing like a banshee with Modern Family

Just a quick one for today, since I've been busy with work and a bit behind in my viewing. I still have to watch this week's Community, Parks and Recreation, and The Office, and I have several episodes of Legends of Wrestling sitting on my computer, along with the entire season run of Justified, which I haven't even tried to start watching. (Yeah, everyone I know who watches loves and adores the show, but like LOST and Arrested Development and Always Sunny, I didn't want to jump in half-way.)

So instead, let me focus on Wednesday's episode of Modern Family, which was nearly perfect. The other day, I harped about the consistency of The Ricky Gervais Show, Community and Archer, and yet Modern Family somehow got left out of the discussion. For shame! Modern Family is the best of the bunch, which is even more impressive considering that it didn't have the early hiccups that Community did, and it also has a full 20+ episode run, which The Ricky Gervais Show and Archer do not have to worry about.

The best part about Modern Family is that while individual episodes normally have two or three main story arcs, all the secondary characters are still given something to do. This "something to do" is normally hilarious, which helps. For example, on Wednesday's show the main issues seemed to be 1) Phil and Mitchell racing back to Mitchell's house and 2) Claire's anxiety about flying with an eventual Weekend at Bernie's routine and 3) Jay seeing his dream Hawaiian vacation erode away as Gloria heaped more and more activities on it.

These plots were all pretty funny, but I loved the little moments even more. Like when Haley crushed on a guy for the entire episode, and then she and Alex found out that he was only 13... and Alex laughed like a banshee for a solid half-minute. The other son, Luke, is also almost too ridiculously funny, like when he ran through the screen door in last week's episode.

Grade: A+

A thinning of the herd on LOST

So... We got some answers on LOST. Or rather, FLocke eliminated some possibilities with his trickery. Anyone still think that he is somehow the good guy and Jacob isn't?

First things first - It was oddly satisfying to see Kate get shot. As in, I laughed like a madman when it happened. Unfortunately though, it seems pretty clear that she will survive, as a bullet, dynamite and sinking submarine aren't enough to kill her.

Tackling the deaths in order of occurrence, it was neat to see Jack's faith in Sayid being redeemable actually pan out. When it became clear that FLocke double-crossed them with the C4 and the submarine, Sayid was the one who tried to swallow it, Mask style. This did create another unintentionally funny moment though, when Hurley said he was going after Sayid, even though he had been blown to bits with the explosives.

Second, the scene with Sun and Jin was pretty gut-wrenching. It wasn't at the level of Desmond and Charlie, because I haven't formed as much of an attachment to them, but the scene was still really well done. However, it does make me think that somehow, Bizarro LAX will be the "real" world when all is said and done. Things are ending up a bit more "happily ever after" in that world as opposed to the Island, where people are now dying left and right. I don't see the creators of LOST being comfortable with just killing off half the cast for reals.

Speaking of Bizarro LAX, there was some interesting stuff going on in it. Locke is now responsible for his and his father's paralysis; they were linked before, but it wasn't Locke's fault before. It seems like Claire and Jack are going to do some bonding, which is sweet. And there are still some interesting tangles out there to be undone, such as what happens to Kate, Sawyer, Miles and Hurley.

However, the super-duper most tantalizing thing out there remains Desmond in the well. Sayid confirmed that he left him alive instead of killing him, and with Jack, Sawyer, Kate and Hurley managing to escape the submarine, and possibly Frank as well, Desmond would seem to be their #1 target. He wasn't on the candidate list, so it's not exactly clear what role he will play. But Desmond seems to be affected by the theory Jack stated - FLocke can't directly kill them.

Grade: A

The photo of Sun and Jin is from this awesome, awesome LOST blog.

TV Review: Mostly "meh" episode of LOST

LOST was a bit disappointing last night, as half of the episode was a solid snorefest. In a flip-flop from most of the early season episodes, the parts featuring the Island itself are now pretty stale, while the real drama going on involves Bizarro LAX / the tangent universe / the side-flashes, whatever you'd like to call them.

Going from the good to the bad, pretty much everything that happened in Bizarro LAX this week, I found pretty interesting. As I thought, Desmond smashing Locke with his car resulted in Jack being the specialist that would see him, although we didn't find this out until the end of the episode. For the rest of the episode, Desmond worked on getting Claire to see his lawyer - Ilana, it turns out - who magically was the same one handling the Shepard will reading, so there was a brief reunion until Jack got called into surgery.

Outside of this, in Bizarro LAX we also had the plot thicken a bit with Sawyer, Kate, Miles, Sayid and Sun. Sawyer and Kate's flirting is still just as annoying, but it was cool to see him catch Sayid the Killing Machine when everyone else had failed throughout various seasons of LOST. Miles continued to be solid in a small role, and Sun and Jin were cute, and thankfully, their baby is still OK. All in all, I was happy with the brisk pacing in Bizarro LAX, even if the results of Hurley knowing about his past on the Island still haven't been revealed.

In contrast, the Island portions had lots of crap going on that I found uninteresting. FLocke was doing his usual lying and tricking and misleading, such as denying that he had Desmond, then sending Sayid to kill Desmond. Of course, I don't think this actually happened, which is sweet, because Desmond is the best thing going on the show right now. Widmore got seriously pissed off that FLocke wouldn't turn him back over though, and bombed the shit out of FLocke's camp, which I kind of liked.

A couple of FLocke's group - Jack, Sawyer, Sun, Claire, Hurley and Kate - managed to make a break for it on the boat. However, Jack willingly left the boat, since he had a nagging feeling that they weren't meant to escape. My friend Nikki and I agree - I don't think LOST ends without them killing FLocke, as opposed to just running away from him. Once the rest of the group got to Widmore's camp, they were held hostage by his second-in-command, presumably because Desmond either 1) wasn't with them or 2) turned over by FLocke.

Anywho. While this wasn't the most scintillating episode of LOST, I am very interested in seeing how it all ends up, especially in Bizarro LAX.

Island portion grade: D
Bizarro LAX grade: A
Combined grade: B-

TV Review: I love you, Phil Dunphy.

Everybody dies boys, let's focus on what's important!

This was a strong episode of Modern Family, especially for Phil. That sly old fox had some great lines sprinkled throughout, such as the one above I used for the photo cutline. The other great line he had? "One day I'm going to be a grandfather, and then everybody better hide their meat."

Anyway, his drama with his father-in-law Jay felt a little rehashed, since Jay basically has authority problems with every character on the show. The episode's other plot lines were pretty amusing, although a bit more bittersweet than usual, with Cameron realizing he hates being away from Lilly, and Alex and Manny pulling away from their respective parents. And while I love the middle daughter's character, it was pretty funny to have Claire get vicious, mom-like revenge on her at the end.

So yeah. I have no real idea why Modern Family took two episodes off; maybe it had something to do with them filming the season's final episode(s?) in Hawaii. Regardless, they didn't miss a beat in their two episodes off TV. It's still mandatory watching if you're any sort of fan of Arrested Development-style humor.

Grade: A

TV Review: I still hate Hugo.

Libby brings two friends to her date with Hugo.

Ah, LOST. My friends Tom and Nikki were having a minor disagreement about last night's episode, with Tom claiming it was a 6/10 episode, and Nikki being more positive, calling it a 8/10. My own rating reflects more of a fencesitting: I give the first 20 minutes a 4/10, and the final 20 minutes a 10/10, for an average of 7/10. (Sorry I couldn't really settle the dispute, pals.)

As the title of this entry implies, I still find Hugo to be a miserable, sad character. He is still strictly the fat dude comic relief, even if he's the only one outside of Miles who can reasonably talk to the dead. In Bizarro LAX, at least he has finally managed to make some moves on Libby, which will probably allow Cousin Brandon to rest in peace. In fact, let's tackle this episode, from bad to good:

Bad: Ilana going out like a bitch. It's weird, in that while I'm not her biggest fan, I still thought Ilana deserved to go out a little bit better than, well, being the only character on the show to get exploded besides the dorky science teacher. LOST earns some points for making her death a complete "out of left field" shock, but I openly laughed when it happened, because it felt more appropriate for Loony Tunes as opposed to a serious drama.

Bad: Hurley's continuing pussification. Dash Worthington would not approve of Hurley. Specifically, he pulls a FLocke move in last night's episode and tries to lie to the group to get them to follow him to FLocke's camp. Hasn't he learned anything from how he has been treated on the Island??? One of his biggest complaints during the past seasons has been about being lied to, and the very second he's in a position of power, he uses his "I can see ghosts!" power to lie to people.

Bad: Michael's odd cameo on the episode. It's nice to know that the whispering from all of the past seasons are ghosts haunted by what they did on the Island, forced to remain; it's nice to know that Michael will be spending an undetermined amount of time living in damnnation on the Island. However, like Ilana, most people people will probably consider this a disappointing use of Michael's character. While I was never a huge fan of him, he probably deserved a bit more than this, and maybe they'll address his fate more in Bizarro LAX.

Good: Hurley and Libby FINALLY hooking up, even if it is in Bizarro LAX. This also seems to kickstart his memory, as Desmond seemed to want, and has interesting implications. Hurley clearly has a much, much better thing going on in Bizarro LAX, since he is not cursed, filthy rich and now, with the presence of Libby, in love. If the worlds are somehow merged again, then what happens to her?

Really Good: Desmond knocked Locke out with his god damn car! Wow! That was a wickedly satisfying scene to watch for some reason; I'm not entirely sure why. Also, I think the whole chain of events is part of a plan by Desmond to reunite Locke with Jack. With his injuries, Locke will get taken to the hospital where Jack works, where either the operation or something post-surgical will make their memories kick back online.

Good: Desmond is still the mother effing man, and he is now equal to Jack in my mind. To me, it seems like he has a Luke Skywalker-esque endgame in mind, which is why he appeared fearless in front of FLocke. It wouldn't surprise me if he somehow knows the "secret" to thwarting him and "fixing" the two worlds.

Good: It was nice to see a larger role for some characters, like Ben and Miles, even if they were still mostly supporting characters. And hey, no awkward scenes between Kate, Jack and Sawyer - just awkward gazing. We're improving! Hurrah!

Belated but never imitated LOST commentary

Oh Desmond, you beautiful bastard!

Ahhh - I know everyone has been waiting with bated breathe for this oft-delayed LOST commentary. Well, relax. After many promises by me, it is finally, finally here. You can cease writing your local representatives in Congress. As an aside, I think I'm finally, fingers crossed, done with a lot of the heavy flood coverage I've been slammed with the past two weeks, so I believe I will be back to a more normal blogging schedule.

Anyway, enough with that; let's talk LOST. I thought the most recent episode, "Happily Ever After", was the second-strongest of this season, behind only "Lighthouse." However, that was a Jack-centered episode, so I imagine I might be in the minority who thought it was the best of the season.

"Happily Ever After" followed Desmond, who is definitely the best "cool" character on the show, since he has the least amount of drama. While Sawyer gets some snappy lines, he is also constantly crying about his daddy, his mommy, Juliet, Kate and how he stubbed his toe in fifth grade. And while I love Miles, his screen time has shrunk further this season, and I doubt he is going to get his own episode, unfortunately.

Therefore, Desmond is definitely my pick for the coolest character of the cast. He has the most straightforward and uncomplicated love story with Penny, which is a nice contrast from the doom and gloom misery of the rest of the cast. Even though they have apparently been separated at this point, I can't help but think that things will be fine for them at the very end. (Not so coincidentally, the final episode of LOST is simply called "The End", and I'm a fan of the simplicity.)

Focusing on the episode itself, Desmond was doing cool Desmond stuff, like surviving elctromagnetic pulses and being able to switch between Bizarro LAX and the Island at willing seemingly because of the presence of his constant, Penny. At least, that's the impression I got from the episode. After Widmore's wacky experiment that exposes Desmond to a bunch of electromagnet energy, the story rapidly switches to Bizarro LAX, and later in the episode, when Desmond meets Penny, he finally switches back.

In earlier episodes, it is suggested that Desmond is unique in his ability to switch back and forth - this is especially evident in the time travel episodes, since almost everyone but him dies from the switching. However, it does seem like the only other person completely knowledgeable about the split universes is Eloise Widmore, a.k.a. the mother of Daniel Farraday / Daniel Widmore. Like Miles, I think it would be quite interesting if she got her own episode this season, but with only six episodes and seven hours of programming left, that seems unlikely.

"Happily Ever After" did end a bit ambiguously, with Sayid killing Widmore's man accompanying Desmond through the jungle. Desmond easily agreed to Sayid's request to go with him, which makes me think he has a trick or two up his sleeve. His name wasn't seen on camera in the Cave of Candidates, and it doesn't correspond to a number, so he seemingly isn't one. Yet, this doesn't mean he isn't, and it doesn't preclude him from having special abilities either. After all, Miles can talk to dead people, and he's not on the candidate list either.

I will say that I don't think it is a coincidence that my favorite episodes of this season have been written by the show's executive producers, Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse. And thankfully, I have noted that they wrote the final episode, "The End." While some people have been down on the show, I still have hope that a good portion of things will make sense at the end, and I like what they've done so far this season.

Grade: A+

The picture of Desmond is from the episode summary of the excellent LOST Wiki site, which is accessible here.

TV Review: LOST back in high gear!

After some merely very good episodes, LOST kicked it back up a notch last night, to steal some terminology from a hack-like television chef. While the first 20 minutes or so just seemed to add further to the mystery, the last half of the episode was just some nice, gooey explanation. The episode was like a chocolate chip cookie in that way - It just got better as it heated up.

Unlike past episodes, which normally intersperse the different stories going on, last night's episode of LOST seemingly only focused on Richard. Except for the beginning and end portions of the episode, the entire episode was a simple flashback. However, I think it's more accurate to say that the episode focused on the "deity" characters of LOST - Richard, Jacob and Fake Locke / The Man In Black, who were definitively revealed to be one and the same.

Like I originally thought, I think last night's episode revealed that Jacob and Fake Locke are good and evil, respectively. Fake Locke tried to manipulate Richard from the second he got on the Island by using his dead wife, whereas Jacob seems to operate more by free will with small signs. I've ripped on Hurley in the past, but his role as the Haley Joel Osment for Jacob and other ghosts has finally given him a purpose outside of being Fat Guy Comic Relief.

My only regret about last night's episode? Well, I couldn't think of a better way to work in this image to the right that I originally saw on the excellent Mel Got Served. Screw it though - I'm posting it anyway! Take that!

Grade: A+