Saturday, January 2, 2010

Tag Team: Pickin' Pigskin with Bob, Steve and Kristin - Week 17


Speaking of Tag Teams, Bret Hart returns to Raw this Monday, and
you can
bet your sweet ass that I'll be posting about wrestling then.

Steve says: Okay, as I said last week, I'm just going to call these Tag Teams from now on, with less emphasis on picking every god damn football game. If you want to talk about certain games, feel free; if not, then don't. Kristin, I CC'ed you on this too, so feel free to join in the Tag Team, or just to submit two or three paragraphs, a la the Sports Gal, whatever method you prefer. (p.s. This week, I promise to get some pictures for you!) (p.p.s. This paragraph is running in the blog too.)

Anyway, to start this out on a random note... Prague? Really? That's where you're taking a Christmas vacation of sorts? I mean, I know nothing about the place, except that every kiddie porn guy on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit seems to be from there. However, I imagine that you will be staying out of the Red Light District for this trip, unless you actually are out there on espionage work.

Also, to bring things back to football, the Patriots just thumped on the Jaguars this weekend. How do you feel about this development? I thought they would win when I heard before the game this week that the Jaguars have the lowest sack number in the NFL coming into the game. The Patriots seem to have trouble with teams that can really rush the passer.

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Bob says: We were looking for an interesting place to go in Europe for the holidays to meet our brothers who are studying abroad, and France, Italy, the United Kingdom, and Germany were out because people had already been to those places. After a great deal of research by Kristin (and I mean weeks of in-depth research--Kristin planning a trip is like Congress considering health care reform), we found that Prague was a good place for Christmas and New Years. Plus, just about everybody here speaks English. It is unfortunately a little cold, but so is most of Europe right now. Otherwise, we have been having a great time and have had a very detailed itinerary for where we are visiting.

But your comment on the SVU kiddie porn people is well taken. It seems like there are places advertising Thai "massages" on every street, we passed a handful of obvious prostitutes on the way home from dinner last night, and when we were trying to find a club to visit many websites seemed to be advertising that the girls who visited were young. The club we ended up choosing happened to have topless dancers on one of the bars, and people didn't seem to think this is abnormal.

Even though we are in Prague, we were fortunate enough Sunday night to see the Patriots dismantle the Jaguars. It was playing at an Irish bar (of which there are many in Prague) because the Sky network just happened to be carrying it. I was excited because that was the best they have looked all season, although the Patriots beating the Jaguars is kind of like FOX canceling a show everybody likes--it is almost a forgone conclusion. I don't think it was the lack of a pass rush that did the Jaguars in. They couldn't do much against the run either, aside from "forcing" Laurence Maroney's inevitable fumble on the goal line. They are a mediocre team, so we shouldn't read too much into it, but it gives me hope that maybe they could beat a good team in the playoffs. I was more excited, though, to find out that the Jets somehow beat the Colts. I feel the same relief that Luke Skywalker must have felt when he realized that he had never slept with Leia when he found out she was his sister.

Speaking of the formerly undefeated teams, though, how anticlimactic were the first losses for the Saints and the Colts? As I mentioned last week, I didn't even know the Saints and Cowboys were playing on Saturday a few weeks ago, and who would have thoughts the Cowboys would have won during their usual December slide? And then the Saints somehow managed to lose against Tampa Bay last week. Meanwhile, the Colts lose against the very average Jets in Week 16--something that people seem to be blaming on the decision to rest the starters in the second half, ignoring the fact that the Colts were down from the very beginning of the second half when their special teams gave up a return for a touchdown--before the starters had been pulled. Maybe Peyton Manning could have pulled some second half magic, but honestly they have not looked impressive in many of their wins. I thought, though, that somehow they would manage to pull off the undefeated season due to the weakness of their schedule.

Would you even be surprised if neither of these teams make it to the Super Bowl? I just feel as though their records are attributable more to their schedules than any superior performance. And are we excited about the prospect of the Eagles and Cowboys playing two games in two weeks?

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Steve says: Kristin sounds like a pretty swell party-planner! If you have an Office style committee, she is obviously a first ballot person for it. But, who would be the inefficient slash Dwight and Angela influence upon her? As we all know, you need that sort of anal-retentiveness to make things really awkward.

As far as the child pornography in Prague goes, that sounds like incredibly dicey business. If there is another thing I know from SVU, make sure that nobody frames you for diddling little kids, or tries to steal your kidney. Both are pretty common in Europe, it seems. That's how I lost four uncles, actually - All of them from stolen kidneys. It's really a shame and travesty.

How DARE you bring up that (one!) misguided moment from Star Wars. That would be like me cheap shotting you about the wacky episode of Star Trek where they all get high on that plant and start freakin' out and falling in wacky, hippie-dippie space love with one another. Even Spock! Damn Bob, I'm a journalist, not a doctor, and I shouldn't be forced to defend my beloved Luke Skywalker!

However, I agree with you - It wouldn't surprise me if the Colts and Saints laid eggs in these playoffs. Football Outsiders has been pointing out that their wins are more of the "skin of their teeth" variety than dominant victories, which is a bad indicator for future wins. Great teams don't win close games - They beat the snot out of bad teams. In any match-up of good teams, both teams have a roughly 50 percent chance of winning, with the favorite maybe getting as high as 60 percent. I view the Colts and Saints more as the two best of some flawed teams, and I view this season as one without a real juggernaut of a team.

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Bob says: I am absolutely the bad influence on Kristin's Office planning committee. I don't know that I hinder the planning so much as make it an unrewarding experience for her. She spends months planning the trip while I do zip to contribute, and then complain when we get there. The problem stems from completely different philosophies her and I have regarding vacations. I prefer to go on a vacation, hang out, read, and mostly relax. She, on the other hand, wants to make sure we maximize every second we have in an area and make sure we make it to every important cultural hot spot we can possibly hit. In retrospect, I am glad that she brought me to see whatever very important church she found, but at the time I'm sure I can be a little bitch.

An interesting side note regarding "This Side of Paradise" - the Star Trek episode you unfairly launched your vicious slander upon - is that the love interest was name Leila. "This Side of Paradise" aired in 1967, and Star Wars, with Leia as the love interest, didn't launch until 10 years later. Plagiarism, anyone?

Another interesting part of that episode was the fight scene between Kirk and Spock. Many episodes of Star Trek specifically let it be known that Vulcans - like Spock - were much stronger than humans. Yet, every time a Vulcan got into a fight with anybody (particularly Kirk, but effectively anybody on the show), they would end up getting their asses whooped.

Bringing this concept to this year's NFL season, I feel as though a few teams are the same way. We have already gone over the Saints and Colts, but how about the Eagles? People were riding pretty high on the Eagles about 2/3 of the way through the season, but it really seems to be a team that week-to-week shouldn't be scaring anyone. Do we all remember the miserable game against the Raiders? Or them barely beating the Redskins and Bears in successive weeks? People are treating the Eagles like the NFC's Chargers - a team that is coming on strong for the second half - but I feel they are just as vulnerable as a Vulcan on Star Trek.

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For this week's picks, Bob originally didn't think he would have e-mail access, so he sent in picks guessing where the line would be. However, I don't think he took into account that Week 17 is silly-season in the NFL, when things like Patriots' backup quarterback Brian Hoyer happen. (Not to be confused with new San Diego Padres general manager and former Red Sox assistant Jed Hoyer.) In honor of that, I've included the actual line this week, along with how far Bob was off in his prediction. Thanks to Bob for doing the leg work on this! And, Kristin's picks will be in later today at some point, with me defaulting to her submitted picks from a week ago if she doesn't want to update them. Sorry I couldn't get the formatting better on the chart, but a direct copy-paste makes everything screwed up.

Projected Favorite / Projected Dog / Projected Line / Actual Line / Projected Pick / Actual Pick

New England HOUSTON -7 8 New England New England
Chicago DETROIT -9.5 -3 Detroit Chicago
Atlanta TAMPA BAY -10 -2.5 Atlanta Atlanta
DALLAS Philadelphia -2 -3 Philadelphia Philadelphia
San Francisco ST. LOUIS -10 -7 San Francisco San Francisco
Jacksonville CLEVELAND -13 1 Jacksonville Jacksonville
Cincinnati NY JETS -7.5 10 Cincinnati NY Jets
New Orleans CAROLINA -8.5 7 Carolina Carolina
MINNESOTA NY Giants -5 -9 NY Giants NY Giants
Indianapolis BUFFALO -13 8.5 Buffalo Buffalo
Pittsburgh MIAMI -7 -3 Miami Pittsburgh
DENVER Kansas City -10.5 -11 Denver Denver
Green Bay ARIZONA -3 3.5 Green Bay Green Bay
Tennessee SEATTLE -13 -4.5 Tennessee Tennessee
SAN DIEGO Washington -14 -3.5 Washington San Diego
Baltimore OAKLAND -14 -10.5 Baltimore Baltimore


Steve picks: Houston, Chicago, Atlanta, Philly, San Fran, Jags, Cincy, New Orleans, Minny, Indy, Pittsburgh, Denver, Green Bay, Tennessee, San Diego and Baltimore.

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And, shockingly, I managed to win a week of this blasted thing! Pretty convincingly, too, by a whole two games over Kristin and four games over Bob. I mean, sure, they were preparing to take an international trip, and I was just sitting around the house... but still. I'll take the victory any way that I can. I finished the week at 10-6, with Kristin at 8-8 and Bob 6-10. Overall, Kristin has taken a narrow one-game lead, 121-115 vs. Bob's 120-116, with me lurking eight games behind at 113-123. Woohoo, I'm the Baltimore Orioles! Time to play spoiler...

For those of you interested in how my Fantasy Football team finished out, we came in third! We had a pretty convincing win the final week of the season, thanks to Tom Brady. Despite my focus on the running back in this year's draft, it was still a problem because of the injury to Ronnie Brown, but at least our alternatives were more palatable this year because of that early focus.

The SVU picture is from here. The Hart Foundation picture is from WWE.com. The Office's party planning aftermath on Pam is from here. And Brady's card comes from this odd-but-funny site on baseball cards.

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