Wednesday, February 17, 2010

At The Commercials: Molly Culver will spend all of your money and devour your soul



Times must be tough for Molly Culver. The residuals from her "starring" roles in V.I.P., Pacific Blue, Warrior Angels and VH1's I Love The XX series must be drying up, because she is in a truly awful series of ads for the Chase rewards program.

Listen, if my wife ever spends all of our Chase reward points ON A SINGLE DRESS instead of a vacation, then she will shortly be my ex-wife. Hey Molly Culver, you're still hot even though you're now 42! Cool it on buying the super-expensive dresses and annoying your husband, who looks kind of like Brett Favre.

There is actually a second commercial in the series, but it is so awful that no one has felt the need to record it and put it on YouTube. In that one, Molly is with her P-whipped husband as they are riding on a ski lift, and she doubts that their reward points can be used to purchase a massage. Hey Molly, WHY WOULD YOU DOUBT THAT? Come on! Why are you constantly busting your husband's balls? Can't you just go back to shilling Secret deodorant?

2 comments:

  1. Hear hear! The third commercial where they change resorts at the last second is even worse. I'm glad they can afford to do all that stuff in this economy!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Josh, ugh - I've seen that shit too. I would blog more about it, but obviously, Mrs. Culver doesn't realize that I'm serious. I think I need to send a message via her husband - He seems miserable anyway, so the pain will probably help him feel alive.

    ReplyDelete

Try not to be too much of an ass, unless completely necessary. You are subject to tyrannical moderation.

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